Questions about Christmas

After a little over six decades of absorbing facts, figures and fictions, dressed up to look like facts, I still have questions.

Question One: Every year we are lectured to about the ‘meaning of Christmas’. You know, it’s not about the shopping, gift giving and extravagant efforts to impress a lot of really self-absorbed nimcompoops. It’s about the birth of Christ and what it means to mankind. The birth of God’s son and ‘His’ message that will be sent through Christ to all.

With that in mind, why and who are the people killing and maiming each other over a pair of $180 Nike Airs?

Question Two: The lectures continue that it is God’s wish for Peace on Earth and Good Will toward Men.

But what has happened when 300 bargain hunters blow out the front doors of a Best Buy to get to a $299, 32inch flat screen t.v.?

Question Three: If 80% of Americans claim to be Christians, is it the 1% of Muslims, the .5% of Hindus, the 3.7% of Jews or the 15% of non-religious Americans kicking in the doors to get the bargain basement deals in the final hours of Christmas shopping? (I know it doesn’t add up to 100%, but I had to leave out the dozens of microscopic religions and the tin-foil-hat wearing moonbats that we share air with)

Question Four: If it is a fact that it is better to give than receive, why oh why doesn’t Congress ‘GIVE’ us a break, instead of voting over and over to put us into Receivership?

Question Five: If everyone in Congress and the Administration believes that bi-partisanship is essential to a stable government, then how do we square that with the knowledge that bi-partisanship is how we got to where we are, poising for a Swandive into the abyss?

We are So Screwed….Merry Christmas to All Dumbplumber minions.