Unionize ISIS

In the Obama administration’s lame attempts to describe ISIS, about every characterization has been submitted except the real one….they’re terrorists stupid.  Now that wasn’t so hard to say now was it?

We’ve heard “disgruntled splinter groups”, “unhappy freedom fighters”, “random murderers”, and lately we’ve been given, and wait for this, “aggressive job seekers”.  What we haven’t heard is RADICAL ISLAMIC TERRORISTS.  These depictions have all, of course, come directly from agencies controlled by the worst president of all time, and from the president himself. 

However, I think I have discovered some common ground.  UNIONS!  Yes, you heard it from me first.  ISIS just needs to form a union and all its troubles will be forgotten.  I mean, our media never condemns a union for beating or killing folks they brand as scabs, whose only crime was crossing a picket line.  It’s like OK.  To the Left, unions are the glue that binds liberal assholes together.  Unions make the most noise, cause the most damage, extort the most money and give the largest donations to democrat campaigns. 

Unions are to freedom, what condoms are to reproduction.  Yes, my stupid, progtard friends, your only salvation is to get ISIS unionized.  And do it fast before a small band of well armed, well trained Navy Seals and Army Rangers put an end to your ISIS dreams forever. 

Your second challenge will be to train or enlist qualified mechanics to work on those scavenged Hummers and purloined Abrams tanks.  The Toyota and Nissan gun trucks will run forever, but American armament requires constant maintenance.  But don’t worry about parts.  The American government thinks all those high tech parts they send to Yemen, stays in Yemen.

And nothing says happy worker like over-time, double time, full healthcare and a shop steward to get in boss’ face when things start to go Dixie.  And don’t worry about blending.  ISIS will meld with union workers like peanut butter to chocolate.  Remember the Wisconsin Capitol building a few years ago?  If that wasn’t ISIS in training, well then what was it?  No my friends, unionizing ISIS is the only way to save America.

Because once they are unionized, they’ll be so busy taking coffee breaks, sniveling about benefits and threatening Conservative politicians, they won’t have time to behead and incinerate the Christians.