Feelings

I see that Congress is about to pass a law that says members cannot profit from insider information learned by way of their office. Hookay, but it does not impose the same rules for their spouses, relatives, friends or business associates.

Don’t hold your breath awaiting the awakening.

Feeling Better Now:

So now that Obama has stopped the wars, turned around our economy, retrieved our status as Leader of the Free World and healed the political divide in America, he is at a loss to fill his days. So, during a recent interaction at an online quizzerama, Obama offered to peruse a resume from an unemployed engineer, to discover why the applicant couldn’t find a job.

Well, a man’s gotta do something between golf outings.

Feeling Even Better:

Time was that every state had a primary election and a convention to determine who would run as a party’s nominee. Well, thanks to instant polling, Super PACs and 85 percent of the Main Stream Media the contestants are now anointed before Super Tuesday. It’s like Iowa, New Hampshire, South Carolina and Florida are now the acid test for America’s future.

Feeling all warm and fuzzy:

With about 46% of America as Democrats and the rest arguing over whether or not we should be more sensitive, caring, non-violent and considerate of our Democrat critics, you can pretty well resign yourself to a second term for the Community-Organizer-in-Chief.

We are so screwed. Dumbplumber

Conversing with Liberals

Well, it’s taken a few days but I have finally figured out why it’s so pointless to have a political conversation with a Liberal. It is pointless because you are really having a debate with the Mainstream Media (MSM), PBS, MSNBC and most other news services and talk shows around the dials of your T.V., who are, for the most part, oracles for the DNC.

Radio, fortunately, is dominated by Conservative personalities, with a few failing Liberals floundering around trying to conjure up an original thought. Which brings me to my confrontation with a local Liberal.

Strangely enough, the Dumbplumber is….a plumber. And from time to time it is his unfortunate experience to engage a Liberal in a short conversation about the state of our union. Usually, the shorter the better, because he usually ends the conversations when the Liberal either states a categorical and highly repeated fabrication or they begin emitting rabid spittle at the mention of George Bush. Because anything said after the mention of Bush begins to sound a lot like a rerun of Chris Matthews, Rachael Maddow, Ed (the Mouth) Schultz or PBSs Bill Press. Drivel cubed.

My confrontation with the local Liberal was no less enlightening. The standard answers to my mention of any of our pressing problems goes something like this: George Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld or the last bastion of blame, Republicans.

For instance, the cause of our financial crisis isn’t Barney Frank, Chris Dodd or refusal of our Congress to oversee a financial hysteria that allowed people without a job to buy a $300,000 house. No the blame goes to Bush and Rumsfeld’s war in Iraq. Nevermind that the 9 years of the Iraq war has cost us somewhere around $800 billion, the housing crisis has cost the U.S combined, accumulated losses of between $12 and $20 trillion.

And if you postulate that we could have paid for the entire Iraq War with the money lost to Medicare (over $100 billion a year) through waste and fraud, a Liberal begins to channel Linda Blair in the Exorcist. With green pea soup spewing, I get: “It was Bush’s War“, “the Republicans let Bush go in and kill Saddam Hussein“. And the mother of all delusion, Iraq didn’t commit 9-11. (Author’s note: I never said they did). What I didn’t have a chance to say was that Saddam was threatening his neighbors with WMDs and had already invaded Kuwait once. But with my exit this never got said.

At the very mention of reforming entitlements the heads of Liberals explode. It is not enough to piss away hundreds of billions on Medicare fraud, Social Security’s bastard step-child SSI or backfilling tens of billions of the public pension system’s bad decisions, we now must look forward to refinancing foreign bank losses as well. The acceptable meme of the Left is that, “we can’t let our weak or our allies suffer”.

I’m remembering the profound words of Nancy Pelosi when she said, “welfare and unemployment stimulates the economy“. Or put another way, Liberals are, “stupid cubed”.

The very notion that any of our Republican candidates for president have gotten this far without mentioning any of these crisis issues is beyond my comprehension. Instead they are high centered on the inequities of venture capitalism, dead Catholic babies and whether or not abortion, gun and voting rights are States Rights issues.

Nope, you can’t make this up.

We are So Screwed.

Tale of Two Tee Shirts

This shirt was made about 3 years ago, when Palin and the Tea Party had a chance to save America.

This shirt was made last week, after 3 years of Obama and his Fascist regime RAPED America and NEUTERED our Congress.

Read 'em and weep for our Country.

Questions about Christmas

After a little over six decades of absorbing facts, figures and fictions, dressed up to look like facts, I still have questions.

Question One: Every year we are lectured to about the ‘meaning of Christmas’. You know, it’s not about the shopping, gift giving and extravagant efforts to impress a lot of really self-absorbed nimcompoops. It’s about the birth of Christ and what it means to mankind. The birth of God’s son and ‘His’ message that will be sent through Christ to all.

With that in mind, why and who are the people killing and maiming each other over a pair of $180 Nike Airs?

Question Two: The lectures continue that it is God’s wish for Peace on Earth and Good Will toward Men.

But what has happened when 300 bargain hunters blow out the front doors of a Best Buy to get to a $299, 32inch flat screen t.v.?

Question Three: If 80% of Americans claim to be Christians, is it the 1% of Muslims, the .5% of Hindus, the 3.7% of Jews or the 15% of non-religious Americans kicking in the doors to get the bargain basement deals in the final hours of Christmas shopping? (I know it doesn’t add up to 100%, but I had to leave out the dozens of microscopic religions and the tin-foil-hat wearing moonbats that we share air with)

Question Four: If it is a fact that it is better to give than receive, why oh why doesn’t Congress ‘GIVE’ us a break, instead of voting over and over to put us into Receivership?

Question Five: If everyone in Congress and the Administration believes that bi-partisanship is essential to a stable government, then how do we square that with the knowledge that bi-partisanship is how we got to where we are, poising for a Swandive into the abyss?

We are So Screwed….Merry Christmas to All Dumbplumber minions.

I Had a Dream

I had a dream this morning (actually a day dream). I dreamt that after Mitt Romney secured the Republican nomination (after the Dems had eliminated everyone else), Sarah Palin glommed onto the also-rans and mounted a Conservative Party challenge to the Brylcreem RINO candidate. I saw Allan West as VP, Newt as Secretary of State, Cain at Commerce, Bachmann at Justice and Paul Ryan at Treasury.

I also saw Huntsman as a tour director at the Tabernacle, Ron Paul as the ’Nurse Ratched’ at a Texas loon bin and Rick Perry as Texas Governor (anything else just isn’t big enough).

The long and short of it is a political apocalypse. Mittens wouldn’t know what hit him. It would be a ‘Mission to Save America’ from itself.

Palin mounts the stage with her team of committed conservatives and lays out the plan to save America, after telling us just how screwed we are. She would cite chapter, line and verse of our situation and point her finger at those that brought us to this dance. No sitting politician, banker or lobbyist, involved with our demise, would be spared. No vote would be asked for that didn’t come with a pledge to purge the rolls of Wall Street, Congress and Kst lobbying firms of the vermin that has put America on the brink of disaster.

I see the masses coming together, once they realize their plight, in groups that would need ten Super Bowl stadiums to seat. The roar of outrage would be deafening. America would mobilize to end the madness and send the Liberals, RHINOs and Socialists packing to the darkness of the cracks from where they came.

Uh, uh, uh. Harumpfh, snarful, kerpiffle. Sorry about that. Remember it was just a dream.

We are so Screwed, Dumbplumber

The Big Game

It came to me in the wee hours that the financial predicament we are facing may just well have a metaphoric comparison that we can understand, even if the Fed and our political leaders do not.

Congress, the President and the Fed have taken a ‘hike’ from the five yard line and have thrown a ‘Hail Mary’ pass from the end zone. So far, it isn’t about who is going to catch it. It’s about how high it was thrown; how far it was thrown; how many slo-mo shots will be taken of it in the air; how many time outs will be called while it’s in the air; how many commercials (fiddling by Congress) will run after the throw and whether or not the game will be called because of weather before the ball is caught.

About the only things for certain are: The game will NEVER end; the ball will never be caught (because it was never intended to be caught) and the spectators are trapped in the stadium, because the doors were nailed shut after kickoff.

But not to worry, no matter what you had when you got to the game, you won’t have it if you are ever allowed to leave.

We are So Screwed,

Digging Holes

It is often said, when you discover you are in a hole, stop digging.

Well, America, especially America’s leaders have been in a hole for quite awhile and they’re still digging. It could be argued that this trait is so important that in the future possessing the DNA of a Honey Badger will be necessary to hold public office.

And it took the longest time to realize that they weren’t digging with a couple of John Deere backhoes. No, it appeared that they had fired up a fleet of Buffalo Springfield steam shovels, that have a bucket that can hold six Chevy Silverados side by side, and were running them 24/7/365, in high gear.

As an aside, construction codes require that any trench more than five feet deep have safety ‘shoring’ to protect the diggers from collapse. Well folks, we could fall and mill every tree in America and you wouldn’t have nearly enough lumber to shore up the hole we’re in.

Then it occurred to me that we are confusing ‘digging a hole’ with a ‘Black Hole‘. The difference being one you continue to make bigger and the other consumes everything that comes near it and still wants more and more.

Of course, once something is consumed by a Black Hole, no one knows what happens to it. Sound familiar?

Yes my friends, a Black Hole far more accurately describes what is going on today. Our leaders can’t explain what happened to the taxes we paid last week, meanwhile they scheme to seize earnings of our heirs, into infinity and beyond. And they do this knowing full well that they will never be held accountable for what they do with what they take.

So from this day forward, you can live with the full knowledge that comparing our leaders with John Deere tractors is an insult to the tractors. Because every John Deere I know gives back far more than it takes.

We are So Screwed,