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Friday, April 11, 2014

U.S. Bovine Patrol

It has come to the Dumbplumber’s attention that the U.S. Bureau of Land Management is vigorously enforcing laws and regulations on BLM land.  They are seizing and killing cattle for no other reason than the cattle are eating and pooping on U.S. property, without paying fees.

Well folks, I suggest BLM change places with the U.S. Border Patrol, who have no problem letting illegal aliens do the same thing, while Uncle Sam extracts tens of billions from the pockets of honest hardworking Americans to support them once they arrive here. 

The cattle are being held without bail at an undisclosed location and could not be reached for comment.

No, You Cannot Make this Up.

Tuesday, April 01, 2014

the Sheeples Testicles

A recent posting on perfectly characterizes Obamacare and the Obama administration. 

Seems that a man from Malawi, Zambia allowed a hyena to eat his testicles, because a medicine man told him it would make him rich.  All it really did was put him in intensive care in a Zambian hospital.

Now I don’t want to go out on a limb here, but I believe it was a Kenyan politician, not a Zambian medicine man, that sold this bill of goods to the victim, which also cost him his freedom, liberty and any chance of future prosperity. 

Not to worry though, under the tutelage of the Kenyan politician he will forever be screwed, even without his testicles. 

Welcome to Amerika, comrade.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Politically Obvious

I recently commented that if Allan West sounded more like James Earl Jones, he would already be president. 

Well that got me to thinking.  If Rand Paul sounded more like Trey Gowdy, he would be a presidential shoe-in.  Instead he sounds like Mike Huckabee during a sleep over at Gomer Pyle’s house.

Paul Ryan would be better at selling Veg-a-matics than hawking his tax reforms.

And Nancy Pelosi would make a better loony ‘street artist’ than anything out there.  In fact, loons everywhere complain she makes them look sane.

But the clown car driver slot is in heated contention between Henry Waxman, Harry Reid and Joe Biden.  Pee Wee Herman was not available for comment.

And we can’t leave without commenting on the Conservative credentials of Senators Lindsey Graham and minority leader Mitch McConnell.  When they’re not touting their ‘conservative’ credentials, they’re making backroom deals with Obama and Harry Reid.  Think of them as the Neville Chamberlin of the U.S. Congress.

Saturday, March 22, 2014

My Rudeness

Okay, this tears it!   Yesterday our regional newspaper editor referred to me as “rude”.  So after about 6 years of engaging with his rag-tag band of trolling Libtards, with rational responses to hysterical, lame-brained assaults, I have now officially hit the bottom of Commenter Hell.

How about this folks:  After you have exhausted all avenues of reason, to vicious, vacuous comments; after you have attempted every common-sense, historically referenced, rational attempt to persuade the rabid dogs of Progressivism; after the Train-of-Logic has left the rails and headed into the abyss of doom, in the final throes of futility, in a fruitless attempt to inject some sanity in an otherwise unhinged and loony adversary, then and only then is it necessary to revert to “Rudeness” to make your point.

Well, in a word, I’m SORRY my rudeness has somehow injured your dainty and fragile sensibilities.  I’m sorry I put decorum on the back burner, next to civility and dignity.  But my rudeness was the last stop on my trip to save you from yourself and your kind. 

If I am ignorant of a ‘successful industrialized’ country with a socialized government, we are attempting to emulate, perhaps you would enlighten me.

In the alternative, if you can muster the courage to supply me with your formula for survival and success, while we continue on with policies, procedures, ‘knuckle-headed’ tax and spend strategies and the UNSUSTAINABLE and endless union march to national bankruptcy, where 12% of the population will receive gold plated pension and health benefits, paid for by 100% of the working class, all of which currently has accumulated unfunded liabilities in excess of $144 trillion, well then I will be the first to apologize. 

And if an accomplished newspaper editor doesn't recognize sarcasm, irony and satire as being different than "Rudeness", well then he really needs some introspection. 

Until then you will pardon me my rudeness.  I have no more time or energy to debate with STUPID people.

Oh, was that RUDE?

Friday, March 21, 2014

Transparent Flight 370

It’s now official.  We know virtually everything about the crew of Malaysian Airlines flight 370, that recently went missing. We know everything about the flight crew's families, friends and girlfriends.  We know about their hobbies, where they bank and their religion.  We know their work history, their politics, their personal foibles and their favorite colors. 

We know that two Iranian men, who entered Malaysia on their own passports, used stolen ones to board the plane. 

We know the names, addresses and personal histories of everyone on board. And we also know that at least 5 people had boarding passes that did not use them.

Yes folks, it’s now official.  In two weeks we know more about the 273 folks that were on a foreign flight, than we've learned about our own president in 5 years.

Monday, January 13, 2014

The Traveling Class

It’s one of those things you might not notice, if it were not for the season.  The trees are bare, the wind is blowing, the sun is nowhere to be seen.  But yet there is nary a space open at the dozens of camp trailer parks from Mt. Shasta to Eugene, Oregon on the I-5corridor.

We first noticed the unseasonable RV gatherings while driving down the freeway in Redding a few weeks ago.  The parks were bustling with campers and motor homes, complete with potted plants, hanging clothes, piled possessions and other signs of permanent inhabitants.  But then again, Redding is much warmer than say Old Station or Burney.

However, in our recent trip north to Oregon, these facilities were crammed with tenants everywhere along the way.  Some spaces even had more than one vehicle, like multiple tenants or families in one location.  Clearly these weren’t ‘snow birds’ hop-scotching their way to Arizona.  These were most definitely folks transitioning from their previous lives to the realities of living in bliss under the thumb of Big Government.

So, not to point out the obvious, but it appears that the “economic recovery” isn’t leaving everyone under bridges or in government housing.  It is an economic tsunami pulling the middle class out of their conventional homes and shoving them into portable housing and quasi-permanent terra firma, where the fixed incomes stretches further and blacktop stretches forever.

And no matter how much smoke the government blows under our trailer skirting, this is the realities of the future and the consequences of highly misleading campaigning combined with low information voting.  About the only good news is that without 'Voter ID' these folks will be able to vote all up and down the Interstates.

And no matter the gathering chatter to, “kick them all out”, you can bet your permanent foundation that they will vote most of them back in.  So, given that every two years the majority of voters forget the pounding they took the previous two, a good argument could be made for ‘voting dementia‘. 

We get the government we deserve and vote for. 

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Spanking the AP

It isn’t often I stop and analyze the incompetence, ignorance and complete disconnect on a news story about which the author knows little or nothing.  But it was Thursday’s tripe concerning the struggles within the Republican Party written by Associated Press staff writer, Bill Barrow that finally ground my gears.  Let’s take the first two paragraphs of this story to task:

    “Republicans see the 2014 midterm elections as a chance to capitalize on voter frustration   with the problem-plagued  healthcare overhaul, but the GOP must first settle a slate of     Senate primaries where conservatives are arguing about the best  way to oppose President Barrack Obama’s signature law.”

Personally, I would have made that ‘run-on’ into two sentences at “healthcare”, then placed a comma after “primaries”, but hey, I’m just a plumber.  Maybe they have different grammar and punctuation rules at the AP.

But as a writer, Bill needs to know the difference between “healthcare” and health insurance and the difference between “problem-plagued” and abject, total and complete abysmal failure from the moment a Democrat led Congress voted on this POS without having read the bill. 

And finally, he represents all Republicans as “conservatives”, which is a little like saying all women are Phyllis Diller.

It is clear by this first paragraph, Bill doesn’t have a friggin’ clue what he’s writing about.  But wait, there’s more!  He goes on:

    “In ‘intra-party’ skirmishes from Georgia to Nebraska, the GOP’s most strident candidates and activists are insisting on a no-holds barred approach.  They accuse fellow Republicans --including  several incumbent Senators-- in being too soft in their opposition to the Affordable Care Act and to the president in general.”

At least Mr. Barrow restrained himself from referring to ‘strident” candidates, as Teabagging loons, like many on the MSM.  And it would be far more illustrative to say from Maine to Florida and from New York to California, because no state is immune from the coming 2014 massacre.  As for the “No holds barred”, that’s simply pointing out just how ugly Obamacare is and what it is attempting to do to the United States of America. 

 And it’s particularly telling when a writer refers to it as the “Affordable Care Act”, which is about as accurate as, “You can keep your doctor“, “You can keep your plan” and the mother of all lies…“It will lower the cost of your health insurance“, as we all now know isn‘t going to happen.  The nom de plume is the antithesis of the developing rollout nightmare.

No, what we have here is a writer blindly weaving an inaccurate and misleading article from whole cloth.  It mischaracterizes the relationship between Republicans as a strident vs. too soft.  In reality it is Conservatives vs. RINOs, with conservatives believing in smaller government, lower taxes, adherence to the Constitution and personal responsibility, while the RINOs are siding with Democrats for the exact opposite. 

So you will forgive me when I lurch to the Right when reading such nonsense.  It is patently deceiving, misrepresents the situation and only drives readers to the Left. 

Because if you can’t write it Right, don’t write it at all.