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Sunday, November 09, 2014

Pot Calling the Kettle

Choke on This

FEMA is asking disabled, elderly residents to repay aid given them after superstorm Sandy.  Yes, this would be the same folks from Belle Harbor Manor, who spent four miserable months being shuffled around to emergency shelters, after surge waters flooded them out of their assisted living shelter in Rockaway, New York. 

And given that they didn’t squander their few thousand dollars on hookers, gambling in Atlantic City or tattoo parlors, I say they should give the money back.  Hell, who needs food, medicine and clothing after a natural disaster, when you have FEMA taking care of you?

No sir, if you’re gonna insist on them giving back the money, well then I have another short list of scofflaws that should give back as well, and long before the aged and disabled have to.

We can start with the $300 to $400 billion a year defrauded from Medicare and Medicaid.  And yes that number would easily pay an army of indigent detectives vast rewards for the effort.  Then we might ask Hillary Clinton to pony up the $6 billion unaccounted for over the past 5 years she was at the State Dept..  Nevermind the hundreds of billions lost to foreign aid, for countries that can’t find themselves on a map.

Then we might perform a little forensic auditing on the labor unions, who cannot account for hundreds of millions spent influencing elections and paying off goons, well beyond conducting political ads, or any other legitimate exercises in elections.  And it’s well beyond time to look into the spending of over 7 years of Continuing Resolutions, that have little or no accountability whatsoever.

And I would be remiss if we didn’t go after the Green Monster that has swindled hundreds of billions more from hard working taxpayer for energy boondoggles that boggle the mind and would have been nixed by any half competent Eight grader. 

Then and only then would I even begin to test the integrity of those shut-ins who look forward to Jello and Bingo as extravagant pastimes.

Wednesday, November 05, 2014

Now What?

Well those pesky 2014 midterms are over, now what?  With all the pandering, pontificating and political maneuvering, one would think that nirvana is just around the corner.  One would think that reason, common sense and responsibility is about to set in and America can start to heal and rebuild from years of Liberal abuse and neglect. 

One would think that the new Congress would get to work passing the over 300 bills crammed in Harry Reid’s desk.  But I believe ‘One’ would be wrong. 

I will reduce my observations down to so simple a list that any ass-backwards idiot can understand it:

How long will it take the New Congress to shrink the size of government? Now I don’t mean just the flotsam and jetsam bloat of the Pink Elephant, Affordable Care Act.  I mean reducing the entire federal government by the 20% it has ballooned to since the Lawn-Jockey-in-Chief parked his patent leather dress shoes on the “Resolute” desk in the Oval Office. 

How long will it take to the New Congress to begin rolling back the tax increases?   How long will it take before Congress begins to adhere to the U.S. Constitution, that they swore to uphold when they took office?

And how long is it going to take for the New Congress to send a message to America’s loafers that the gravy train is over?  How long before the New Congress stands before the cameras and tells all of America that the age of Personal Responsibility has arrived? 

So, while all you RINO douche nozzles regale in the midterm successes, I am sitting in my comfort zone, sipping on some single malt and awaiting the above changes. 

Mind you, I will not hold my breath while I’m waiting.  I have far less confidence in John Boehner and Mitch McConnell than you do.

Saturday, November 01, 2014

Voting RINO

What Republicans Won’t Do

With all the blather running up to the November midterm elections, I thought it might be instructive to point out all the things Republicans won’t do if elected.  Oh, they talk a big game, with ending the war on women, securing the borders, stopping Ebola and cleaning up our voting fiascoes.  But what they really will do is nothing. 

Now that the assassination of Tea Party opponent’s characters are over in the primaries, the bullying of Conservatives into voting for RINOs is in full swing.  “What you gonna do, vote Democrat or just stay home and watch them win”, is now the mantra.  Yeah, like it’s going to make a difference once they’re elected.  

Take for instance, the Repeal of Obamacare.  According to many sitting Republicans Obamacare is here to stay…in one form or another.  Forget that it is nothing that was represented to us to get it passed.  Forget that it is bankrupting many hospitals, insurance companies and letting the most vulnerable twist in the wind, waiting for treatment.  It is here to STAY.  Say it with me….It is HERE TO STAY.

Okay, how about border security.  Well, funding was approved to complete some 1700 miles of border fence, some 8 years ago.  But has work progressed?  No, no and Hell no!

Well then, I guess we will look forward to ending deficit spending.  Yeah, about a soon as we stop pissing away government studies on fat Lesbians and mating gerbils in space.  Ain’t gonna happen.  Ditto with shrinking government.  Like that’s gonna happen.

I must add that it was discovered that production of ethanol wasted precious water and squandered corn crops in the name of saving the planet, while proving that you can destroy about one third of the nation’s internal combustion engines and fuel systems by burning the crap.  But has the subsidies stopped from the Republican House?……NO!  Will they stop with both Houses in the Red….No, no and Fuck NO!

The House couldn’t even stop the ban on incandescent light bulbs for Christ’s sake.

Congresswoman Marsha Blackburn promoted the ending of the ban on incandescent light bulbs, but couldn’t get that one through Committee.  Nevermind that the “squiggly” replacement bulbs are a proven hazardous waste and cannot be trusted to live up to their promises.  Forget moronic low flow toilets unable to flush mini-turds and shower heads that won’t clean off bat guano, squiggly bulbs are here to stay. 

So, if you think voting Republican is going to change the world, just remember that the new Congress won’t even stop the bass-akwards logic that supports unsustainable subsidies for the raptor killing solar and wind projects dotting our country. 

No, you go ahead and waste your time voting for these twatwaffles.  Government won‘t get smaller, citizens won‘t gain more liberty and our debt is likely to get larger.  Despite what they say to get elected, prepare yourselves to be disappointed. 

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Dear Dr. Ben Carson

Dear Dr. Carson:

Having received your solicitation for money disguised as a survey of my opinions, I was floored by your cover letter.

The Letterhead startled me first:  “Renowned Pediatric Neurosurgeon”.  But it didn’t hold a candle to the opening greeting:  “You may recognize me as a world famous doctor”.

Reading that opening in the seat of my truck, I nearly blew Diet Pepsi out my nose.  Jesus H. Crist, who writes this shit?

Then it all started to hit me.  The Dumbplumber isn’t necessarily a world famous plumber.  He isn’t even a State, County or City famous plumber, but he knows more about medicine than this arrogant grunt knows about plumbing.  In fact, this plumber knows that if Dr. Carson had the voice of James Earl Jones, instead of Pee Wee Herman or Gomer Pyle, he would already be President.

The Dumbplumber also knows that if Americans ate balanced meals, stopped smoking, drank alcohol only in moderation, exercised regularly, got adequate sleep and refrained from taking illegal drugs, it would cut Medicaid and Medicare expenditures by over 30%, or over $100 billion a year.  This has been confirmed by several doctors.

He also knows that if every citizen receiving taxpayer money, in any form, were obliged to take random drug tests, the consumption of illegal narcotics would plummet, driving the drug trade back into the nooks and crannies of society, instead of out on the boulevards.

And while the Dumbplumber would never consider himself a good source of medical advice, his experiences providing services to doctors, lawyers and stock brokers, leaves him to believe all these professions should avoid pipe wrenches at any cost.

In short, Dr. Carson, if you want something (like the White House) just say so.  Camouflaging it as a poll, demeans your intentions.

Respectfully, The Dumbplumber

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Flying Pork


According to the Daily Caller blog, Senator Tom Harkin paid over $50,000 to fly Hillary and Bill to his big Cook-off Kissoff.  Yes my friends, the only item costlier on the expense side of the soirĂ©e was the food.

Or another way you could look at is that the ‘Pork’ couple was the most expensive thing on the menu.

Wednesday, October 08, 2014

RINOs vs Libtards

Never force the Dumbplumber to choose between the lesser of two political evils.  It will not end well for RINOs, nor will it end well for our country. 

Monday, October 06, 2014

Are You Shitting Me

Are you Shitting Me? 

Headline:  We May be Fighting ISIS in the Middle East for 25 years!!!!
With that revelation it is entirely probable that a woman raped today in Syria will have a child we will be fighting in 2029.  Meanwhile we will be shipping back our own in body bags and on stretchers for the duration.  Can’t wait for the next batch of wounded to show up on television begging for rehab dollars, while the Preezy flies around golfing.

Funny how nobody mentions the Rules of Engagement.  How about this:  We suspend the Rules of Engagement tomorrow.  And if we catch you hiding behind a skirt or in a grade school, or in a hospital.  We will level the aforementioned skirt, et al, and blow your ass into Islam heaven.

Better yet, before we lose one more soldier, let’s notify a few select cities in Iraq of a pending bombing, then while dropping the MOABs (Mother of all Bombs), pick off those cave dwelling, mutton munching Islam loving bastards as they scurry away.  If you don’t think that will work, try asking a survivor of Dresden, Berlin or Nagasaki. 

Has anyone ever asked how come it is that we can shut down a $10,000 used Cadillac with OnStar, but cannot shut off a Million Dollar tank we lost to ISIS?  Why is it we have launched a few hundred drone strikes on suspected ISIS training camps and terrorist picnics, but can’t shut down the fueling, support and repair capabilities of their army? 

If I know anything about tanks, they are thirsty and need constant repairs.  How hard can it be to shut down these assets?  Obviously pretty hard.  But then again, I’m just a plumber and not a brilliant military strategist, or the U.S. President.

The Dumbplumber