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Monday, June 29, 2009

So, What’s Next

Well, let’s review:

A. Obama hires a tax cheat to oversee the IRS.

B. Obama gets $790 billion bucks for “shovel ready” projects, then spends the first $40 billion extending unemployment payments, padding union contracts, hiring tens of thousands of government workers and giving hundreds of millions to ACORN.

C. Obama triples the Federal Deficit by increasing government payrolls, giving raises and bonuses to federal lackeys, and extending more unemployment benefits-- many to those who haven’t worked or even looked for work for years-- and shoring up failing State budgets.

D. Obama saves the auto industry, which is mostly bankrupt as a result of pay and benefit packages for the UAW, then let’s GM and Chrysler go thru “accommodating bankruptcies”, where bondholders, creditors and stockholders are kicked to the curb, but the UAW is handed $10 billion (of mostly non-union taxes) to shore up their $100 billion dollar pension fund (which hasn’t been audited since Grover Cleveland was president) and 30% of a the “new” GM and Chrysler, which they will continue to fly into the ground. But now, they will be subsidized until the cows come home.

E. Obama forces the sale of Hummer to the Chinese, because Hummer is a major cause of global warming and they consume just too much of the globes oil, but China isn’t part of the globe or global warming. Sends quite a message….NO?

F. And last but not least, China is our biggest creditor (that means they loan us money) because they got filthy rich providing us products made in sweat shops, by prison inmates or in factories billowing smog that floats around the world, while we have run off our industrial base because of smog, labor laws and hyper regulation. But it’s ok to borrow that dirty ole money from them…NO?

You try to make sense out of this. I give up.

Ode to Jacko

They say we lost the King of Pop. Now mind you, they didn’t say we lost a music writing legend, a song and dance maestro, a famous entertainer or even world-class artist. To do that would be an insult to first rate Rock and Roll song writers like Buddy Holly, John Lennon or Roy Orbison; to song and dance legends like Gene Kelly, Sammy Davis Jr. or Fred Astaire; or artists and world class entertainers like The Beatles, Rolling Stones or The Who.

No, The King of Pop was a “generational” icon, known more for his idiosyncrasies, irrational behavior and penchant for scalpels. He meant something to those born after 1960 and before 1980. And while like his talented predecessors Jacko could write and perform his own music and dance routines, he couldn’t complete a crossword puzzle, change the oil in his car or have a conversation about current events. He was at once a man of the world, even though it was his own world.

Michael existed in a bubble of his own making. And it was crowded in there, because he could do little for himself; no cooking, no cleaning, no white glove making. It is doubtful that he could tie his own shoes. But hey, when you’re Michael Jackson you don’t have to. You have people to do that, lots of people.

Let’s face it folks, Michael Jackson was a living train wreck. His eccentricities, flamboyant lifestyle and outrageous persona was not to be missed. His transformation from cute little black boy to ugly old white woman was a thing to behold. You couldn’t take your eyes off him, even when the strobe lights and camera angles were manipulated just to give you glimpses of his latest nips and tucks.

And if he ever eclipsed his own persona, it was when he died. His death in the same week as Ed McMahon and the same day as Farrah Faucett was a tragedy. He would never to be more beautiful than Farrah or funny and articulate as Ed, so he just grabbed his crotch, slammed some dope and with one last pelvic thrust dropped the curtain on two true television icons.

The Dumbplumber and Healthcare

Well Pilgrims, perhaps it’s time for the Dumbplumber to weigh in on this whole healthcare issue. Now I don’t mean the “care” part, but rather the “paying for it” part, since that is what is drawing all the fire.

In the interest of full disclosure, the Dumbplumber has NO health insurance. A onetime prescription for Lipitor ended that dream. That being said, it puts the Dumbplumber in the perfect position to recommend reforms, since he now has the privilege of paying for everyone else’s care, but not his own.

So if the Dumbplumber had a dog in this fight, these would be his edicts, to lower the cost of public funded healthcare:

A) I had it confirmed that we could save about 1/3 on our public healthcare costs if Americans would: stop smoking(I’m not for paying for the care of someone too stupid to read the label on a pack of cigarettes), drink alcohol only in moderation, eat right, exercise and cease doing illegal drugs.

B) Another big chunk could be saved by getting attorneys out of the healthcare equation. From Band Aids to Brain surgery, lawyers are a huge financial drain on healthcare. And much of it is excessive if not an abuse of the legal system. Cap punitive awards and make losing parties pay costs.

C) No more taxpayer funded abortions, except for incest and rape. Let abortion sympathizers set up organizations to subsidize the procedures. If you get pregnant, with all the free birth control available, you’re too stupid to raise a child anyway. Put the child up for adoption.

D) No more public liability for AIDS treatment, unless it was contracted by transfusion. If you chose risky sexual behavior, pay for it yourself.

And if it isn’t obvious enough, let the government straighten out Medicare and Medicaid first, then they can go to work on universal healthcare

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Obama and Hilter The Early Years

Well minions, I’ve gone and done it again. Seems that I have again offended the tender sensitivities of Bruce Ross, an editor at the local paper.  What I did that was so offensive was to make the claim that Barack Obama was akin to Adolf Hitler in the “early years”. To which Bruce responded,
“I'm sorry, but the comparison of Obama and Hitler is so laughable that I really have no adequate response“.

So, just being the Dumbplumber and not being a highly educated, clever and all knowing editor of the  Editorial page, I had to do what all knuckle dragging, beer swilling critics of smart people do, I Googled Hitler-early-years.

Gee, whoodathunkit. Here is a montage of thoughts, beliefs and policies adopted, developed and proclaimed by Adolf, before he was der Fuhrer from multiple sources on the Internet that anyone can Google for themselves.

And to make my point more memorable and poignant, I have added italicized inserts for effect and removed the unsavory references to Adolf’s hatred of Jews--which in the case of Barack Hussein Obama, the jury is still out.

German Worker's Party
Soon after the war in Munich, Hitler was recruited to join a military intelligence unit, and was assigned to keep tabs on the German Worker's Party. At the time, it was comprised of only a handful of members. It was disorganized and had no program, but its members expressed a doctrine consistant with Hitler's. (think ACORN)

He saw this party as a vehicle to reach his political ends. His blossoming hatred of the Jews (think capitalists) became part of the organization's political platform. Hitler built up the party, converting it from a de facto discussion group (think whining losers) to an actual political party (think rabid entitlement junkies). Advertising for the party's meetings appeared in anti-Semitic newspapers (think ACORN FLIERS). The turning point of Hitler's mesmerizing oratorical career occurred at one such meeting held on October 16, 1919. Hitler's emotional delivery of an impromptu speech captivated his audience. Through word of mouth, donations poured into the party's coffers, and subsequent mass meetings attracted hundreds of Germans eager to hear the young, forceful and hypnotic leader. (and all this without a teleprompter and Rahm Emmanuel whispering in his ear)

Attitude of Big Business
There is little evidence to support the view that Hitler received substantial financial support from big business. The conservative upper classes generally regarded Hitler as an uneducated demagogue and gutter politician. (well, they know Barack better than I)
While in prison, he wrote the first volume of Mein Kampf. It was partly an autobiographical book (although filled with glorified inaccuracies, self-serving half-truths and outright revisionism) (think Dreams of my Father)which also detailed his views on the future of the German people. (Think Americans in harness)

Upon the death of Hindenburg in August 1934, Hitler was the consensus successor. With an improving economy, Hitler claimed credit and consolidated his position as a dictator, having succeeded in eliminating challenges from other political parties and government institutions. (which he has driven over with Harry and Nancy)

Nazi Supporters
The Nazis won their support primarily from the lower middle class and the peasantry. These voters were strongly nationalistic in their political views and feared that the depression would deprive them of their standard of living.

Most of Germany's industrial workers continued to vote for the Social Democrats, which remained the largest party

Remember, Hitler lived in Vienna for several years, working at odd jobs and absorbing the ideas of Austrian extremists (think Saul Alinsky, Bill Ayers, Reverend Wright). In 1913, he left Vienna and moved to Munich in southern Germany. He took with him the basic political ideas to which he would remain committed for the balance of his life.

“We are socialists, we are enemies of today's capitalistic economic system for the exploitation of the economically weak, with its unfair salaries, with its unseemly evaluation of a human beings according to wealth and property instead of responsibility and performance, and we are all determined to destroy this system under all conditions.”
Adolph Hitler

Adolph Hitler, 1931:What matters is to emphasize the fundamental idea in my party's economic program clearly -- the idea of authority. I want the authority; I want everyone to keep the property he has acquired for himself according to the principle: benefit to the community precedes benefit to the individual. But the state should retain supervision and each property owner should consider himself appointed by the state. It is his duty not to use his property against the interests of others among his own people. This is the crucial matter. The Third Reich (think Obama administration) will always retain its right to control the owners of property.

John Ray:
He [Hitler] championed the rights of workers, regarded capitalist society as brutal and unjust, and sought a third way between communism and the free market. In this regard, he and his associates greatly admired the strong steps taken by President Franklin Roosevelt's New Deal to take large-scale economic decision-making out of private hands and put it into those of government planning agencies. His aim was to institute a brand of socialism that avoided the inefficiencies that plagued the Soviet variety, and many former communists found his program highly congenial. (think Fascism)

And while Hitler did not nationalize all industry, there was extensive compulsory reorganization of it and tight party control over it. It might be noted that even in the post-war Communist bloc there was never total nationalization of industry. In fact, in Poland, most agriculture always remained in private hands. (it’s so damn hard to unionize farm workers)
This policy is broadly similar to the once much acclaimed Swedish model of socialism in more recent times, so it is amusing that it has often been this policy which has underpinned the common claim that Hitler was Rightist. What is Leftist in Sweden was apparently Rightist in Hitler!

John Ray:

But surely Hitler was at least like US conservatives in being a "gun nut"? Far from it. Weimar (pre-Hitler) Germany did have restrictions on private ownership of firearms but the Nazis introduced even further restrictions when they came to power. The Nazi Weapons Law, which restricted the possession of militarily useful weapons and forbade trade in weapons without a government-issued license, was passed by the Reichstag on March 18, 1938.

Well, there you have it. If I am wrong about my assertions, strike me down with a Whiffle Bat. If I can’t compare Obama to Hitler in his “early years” then pray tell who in the hell can I compare him to?

Saturday, June 13, 2009

A is for Anarchy

Everybody knows it had to happen eventually. They fought it, they feared it they did everything they could to avoid it. But in the end, they were it.

Anarchy my friends. Remember it. But before you get all up in arms about the use of the dreaded “A” word. Perhaps we should take a closer look.

By definition Anarchy is: “lawlessness and absence of government“. And it has “chaos, confusion, disorder and disorganization” as synonyms(for you folks in Redding, that is “like” meanings). It also means “hostility, disregard, mob rule, rebellion, turmoil and unrest, which pretty much describes what is going on right now in Washington, D.C..

So by definition, I don’t think it is much of a stretch to argue that we already have Anarchy, just nobody is doing anything about it. Certainly not the Executive Branch, who is pretty much rewriting “settled” law-- on their way to Socialism, the Justice Department, who is enforcing offenses they pick with a Ouija Board back in Chicago, nor the Supreme Court who are so busy shredding the Constitution, they don’t have time to be bothered with the unraveling of America.

In fact, the irony of all this is the antonyms of “Anarchy”: lawfulness, order and rule are the very opposite of what we are witnessing now on Pennsylvania Avenue.

So the moment we see some politicians heads explode like watermelons at a Gallagher show, you might just have to smile and wonder if all that “lawfulness, order and rule“, might be just around the corner. Then authorities, with cooler heads, can round up all the usual suspects in an ongoing investigation, while representatives ponder their allegiances.

Politicians may not understand what they are doing to this country, but they do understand fear. At least we won’t have to wait and wonder if “Order” will ever happen at the ballot box. I think about 5 or 6 well placed rounds ought to do it.

The Things We Don’t Hear

In the cacophony of today’s living, we have no shortage of machines, monitors, alarms and alarmists telling us what to do, how to do it and what we did wrong, when we did it. Amongst the carnival barkers blathering on about America’s stampede to the edge of oblivion are the politicians, pollsters, pundits and political analysts yammering endlessly about the woes and wantings of our society.

But in this din of noise, what we are NOT hearing is deafening.

On health care: We don’t hear a peep about the affects of trial lawyers on every aspect of costs from Band Aids to brain surgery. Medical malpractice has become a staple of the legal snakepit, to the point that television solicitation of clients has become a cottage industry. Additionally, waste, fraud and corruption has plagued Medicare, Medicaid and MediCal, but we don’t hear a peep about fighting IT, before asking for more.

On California’s budget woes: We hear an awful lot about cutting services and increasing taxes but not a peep about the spending that got us here: Unsustainable pay and benefit packages for public employees, carte blanche health insurance for illegal aliens, prisoners and welfare cases with self inflicted illnesses.

The State wonders why revenues are down but is silent on their shutting down access to natural resources (ie: timber, mining and oil) while driving manufacturing out of state with redundant regulations, abusive taxes and environmental restrictions.

Memo to Arnold: It’s starting to look like neither you or Barack get it. Both of you are buck naked before an electorate, who knows what you both are all about. But poor Obama can’t get his pants on with your lips vapor locked on his ass.

The Palin Invasion

Nothing can stir up the Liberals like Sarah Palin. I mean, she drops down to the lower 48 to support a charitable cause and the main stream media just goes nuts. They document every hair out of place, every shoe change and any slight is translated into a potential gaffe. She takes in a baseball game with Rudy and David Letterman makes a sick, perverted joke about her daughter. She goes to a fundraising dinner, where she doesn’t speak, and it is a major event, because she didn’t speak. Heaven knows what would have happened had she farted while reaching for the Onion Dip.

Then to back up the MSM’s News block, the afternoon political goobers ramp up the rhetoric. Chris Matthews, Keith Olberman, Rachael Maddow and the lesser hangers on, then spin this into a major political invasion by the moose skinning governor of Alaska. Nevermind that she has approval ratings higher than Bill O’Reilly (who has numbers higher than all these whining boobs combined). I mean these stooges are really out of their league.

Of course what we are seeing here is the run up to the 2010 and 2012 elections. The fear on the Left is palpable. They are oozing fear in the only way they can, by making fun of the most approved of politician in our nation….a republican with lipstick. So if you can spin that into logic, make my day.

I would submit that Sarah would be dissected and skewered if she were to read the Bill of Rights, the Lord’s Prayer or The Gettysburg Address. It is just what Liberals do. They react like a cornered rat in a crack house, when anything resembling common sense crosses their path. Sarah isn’t just the 800 lb. gorilla in the room, she’s a gorilla in high heals with approval ratings beyond anything dreamt of in the U.S. Congress. Yes, even higher than the Anointed One.

So while the Liberals bask in poking fun at the only person qualified to walk America out of the hole she is in, Sarah is grinning from ear to ear for the blatant overexposure by those too stupid to see that she is the leader of not only the lowest taxed state of the Union, but the only state to return money to its citizens every year.

Two Frogs

I’m not one to mix metaphors, but this may just be one of those times when you need to drag out every metaphor there is to make your point. You see something is happening to America, but those who are trying to warn us, just aren’t getting the job done. We just keep turning Left.

For instance, yesterday morning Joe Scarborough on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” said something that got me to thinking. His point was that America is so politically polarized that citizens either can’t or won’t talk to each other about politics without serious acrimony--for those of you that worship Chris Matthews, Rachael Maddow and Keith Olberman, that means bitterness, animosity and crankiness--and it is tearing America apart. He went on to eloquently explain that it is necessary to find middle or common ground with those that you disagree with politically, so you can have civil debate and cordial discourse, allowing you to make your case in a calm, affable and direct manner.

Well, Joe had his 2 minutes to make his case. Now I get 1 to make mine. Joe, you’re full of very gracious crap.

Take a piece of paper and on it draw a horizontal line. Then measure the middle of the line and put a mark on it. Now take a glass vase and place it in the center. Now put 50 red marbles (republicans) and 50 blue marbles (Liberals) in the vase. If you take out a red marble and replace it with a blue one, move it a little to the Left to represent a shift to a socialist program--think Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, MediCal, Welfare, Assistance to illegal aliens, Viagra for prisoners, public financed abortions, yada, yada.

Then, after you have replaced a few red balls with blue, you go the other way and start replacing blue with red. But --just as with America--when you replace the blue with red, the vase doesn’t move back and neither does America. It only moves left with more blue and never moves at all when replaced by red. It just sits there, just like our Congress and just like Joe Scarborough.

On the other hand, you can look at it like two frogs in a pot of water on the stove, which is Socialism. One frog, a Republican, says to the other frog, a Democrat, “do you smell something burning?”

Monday, June 08, 2009

Our Puff of Smoke

I’ve often alleged that The Poser-in-Chief is nothing more than a puff of smoke. Well, that may be a little inaccurate. He is a narcissistic, self-absorbed, self-aggrandizing, socialist with a Fonzi complex and a big toothy grin. So, if the Lawn Jockey-in-Chief ever gets hit with a bolt of lightning, all you will find will be a set of smiley teeth exhaling that last drag off his Marlboro.

You see, there is nothing else there. Or as they say, “There is no there, there“. This guy is just playing President, not being one. And what his “base” is slowly learning is that there appears to be nothing he is really good at, but grandiose schemes, empty platitudes and mass disappointment.

For instance, he has thrown everything but the kitchen sink at the economy, but it still deteriorates. About the only good economic news is that the deterioration is slowing. Well, in case you didn’t know it, the last sand through the hour glass is slower too.

The auto industry: We now own GM and have given away Chrysler, by paying Fiat to take it. The only winner in those deals is the UAW, which is taking billions in taxes to pad their landing. Nice to know that most of their retirees will spend their golden years watching Oprah at 80% of their pay, while the rest of us slave away to guarantee their comfort.

Guantanamo remains under the Bush Doctrine, even though Obama has promised to close it next year. His only problem to that promise is that Congress has refused to finance the closure and no other country or U.S. politician wants the scumbags in their back yard.

And finally, The Marlboro Man-in-Chief is on his second--and most likely not his last--globetrotting apology tour, where he is showcasing America as one of the world’s largest Muslim countries. Never mind that there wasn’t one Muslim here when Columbus landed, when we fought for independence, or when we provided religious freedom for all. You’re welcome.

But remember he promised tax cuts for 95% of us too and see how that’s shaping up. Please don’t let your heart be troubled, I am personally holding him to that promise.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Leaf Turning

I really need to take a deep breath, reset my priorities and adjust my attitude. Like my dearly departed Daddy would say, “if you can’t say something nice about someone, don’t say anything at all”. Well, somewhere along the way I morphed that into, “if you must say something bad, you had better say something good too”.

So, Barrack Obama, for a charismatic but incompetent loser, sure has a nice smile. Or, the entire Obama administration, along with Congress, is turning America into a third world nation, but they make a really big class photo. Now, ain’t that special.

But this new policy isn’t without drawbacks. For instance, it is very hard to find nice things to offset the bad. I mean every day there is some mind-numbing proposal, policy or bone headed program to draw my ire, but it is virtually impossible to generate the offsetting compliment, once you have used up the grin, self-indulgence, smirks and overabundant arrogance. See what I mean?

Like, I’m trying Dad, but he doesn’t give me much to work with.

There is no argument that this administration is abandoning 200 years of legal precedent, pulling the blocks from under the Ship of State and rapidly transforming America into a quasi-Socialist/Fascist/Communist state, which will no doubt, at some time, be referred to as an Obamacracy. Nothing less could reflect his personal touches on such a governing style.

But all these issues are being covered ad nauseum by the blogosphere and Fox News, which have far more influence than I. The only problem being is that only about 30% of America has any idea as to what’s going on. Problem being is that it was about 30% of eligible voters that put this clown in office, but it wasn’t the same 30%.

You see America, only a small portion of Obama supporters are just now getting the hangover from that big party last November. They are just now losing their jobs, cars, houses and a big chunk of their self esteem to the reality that they were flim-flamed into voting for the biggest fraud America has ever seen. I mean this guy makes Bernie Maddof look like a Sunday School teacher. Deal with it.

Monday, June 01, 2009

Hail to the Disappointer in Chief

You knew it had to happen sooner or later. The Everything-to-Everybody-Hoopmeister has really stepped into it with the Indiana State Teacher’s Retirement Fund. Seems that they were holding a good chunk of Chrysler bonds in their Fund, when Obama and Friends “press ganged” lenders and bondholders into taking pennies on the dollar, violating bankruptcy laws, under the threat of media condemnation and harassment.

Whoa Buckwheat. Yes, I said the Indiana State Teacher’s Retirement Fund, one of many of the Teacher’s Funds that dot our nation, that is made up mostly of Liberal, Progressive, Obama supporting, Obama voting public employees, that have just begun to feel the sting of Obama’s forked tongue.

Yes my friends, this is the top, not the bottom of the iceberg, that just got whacked by the SS Lawn Jockey, while the Fund managers were still orgasmic from the November elections. My, what could go wrong in 120 days? That’s really a rhetorical question, you don’t have to answer it.

Truth be known, between Chrysler, GM, Ford and other major manufacturers, Public and Private employee unions, hold hundreds of billions in bonds and stocks in companies that Mr. Obama is about to makeover or turn to dust. And while this may be a new story, get used to it. There is to be many sequels. I can just see it now.

“Bonnie and Obama--a Love Story”…. Bonnie and Obama’s bodies are discovered in a bullet ridden Prius, in Times Square, during happy hour and there are NO witnesses. They were all drowning their sorrows over financial losses.

“The Wreck of the Obama Fitzgerald”…The Obama Fitzgerald, laden with millions and millions of broken promises, fights its way through choppy waters, seeking solid ground, or at least someone to buy more of our worthless Treasuries.

Stay tuned, The SS Lawn Jockey is unsinkable.