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Monday, December 27, 2010

Re-Branding the Mad Cows

In a twist of political genius, Nancy Pelosi is calling on Steven Spielberg to “re-brand” the Democrat Party. Apparently the “Nan” isn’t happy with how Conservatives portray her Party. Like somehow Progressive, Liberal, Detached from Reality, Mouth Breathing, Spittle Spewing, Kool Aid Drooling, Leg Tingling, Empty Headed Sycophants is a bad thing.

Far be it from me to caution the Nan from Fran, but betting the farm on the guy that brought us, ’Duel’, ‘Close Encounters of the Third Kind‘, ‘ET the Extra Terrestrial‘, ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’ and ‘Jaws’ as being the person to turn to for a re-branding may not be the best plan.

I mean the image of Democrats as the ominous ‘Peterbuilt’ (Duel) chasing down the Conservative salesman, Dennis Weaver, may not be the best example of representing the people, inasmuch as the Peterbuilt eventually goes over a cliff in a fiery crash. Kind of like the housing scandal, no?

Then there is the obvious resemblance of ET to Congressman Anthony Weiner, who really needs to go home instead of phone home. And it cannot go without mention that the old dinosaurs, Barney Frank, John Kerry and Chris Dodd, who have been feeding at the public trough for way too long, are sending out the likes as Debbie Wasserman-Schultz to be the Velociraptor of the Democrat Party, munching on everyone in her wake.

And who doesn’t want to forget the pit of snakes in the Raiders of the Lost Ark, which is the perfect metaphor for the 111th Congress.

No, Nancy has committed the ‘Freudian Slip’ of having the great illusionist, Mr. Spielberg, make over what has been the most destructive Party since FDR thought it was a good idea to meddle with human nature in the 30’s. And America hasn’t gotten over it since.

So, if Ms. Pelosi wants to re-brand the Democrats, she might just resign her post and stop making her Congressional popularity lower than that of Fidel Castro, the Uni-Bomber and Lee Harvey Oswald.

Interpret This

Funny how the incoming recruits to Capitol Hill are getting all about the Constitution. And now I see that they want to make every Bill have attached the provision in the Constitution, where they are allowed to submit such legislation. Yeah, and people in Hell want ice water too.

Ok, I’ll bite. But why don’t we start with landmark legislation over the past 20, 30 or 50 years that was passed without this same requirement? Suddenly, we’ve become all sensitive over what is Constitutional, and what is not. Like they know doo-squat about it in the first place.

Oh, I don’t know. I have a copy, of the Constitution, that I can carry in my pocket, that’s just 46 pages long and I have no problem at all understanding what is contained, not withstanding the Federalist Papers. Especially since when it was drafted there was no Internet, televangelists, high-speed rail or electricity. Likewise there was no unemployment insurance, illegal immigration, Medicare or Social Security.

And I don’t need a Constitutional attorney to explain to me what separation of Church and State is, because there isn’t one. It is simply that a government cannot ‘create’ or mandate a church or religion. Likewise, there are NO restrictions to owning a firearm, because you never know when we are going to be invaded by Canada, Mexico, or, in fact, our own government. Just ask those that lived in pre-war Germany.

I was particularly amused to learn that Wisconsin’s 800,000 licensed hunters alone make up the world’s eighth largest standing army.

I also am not confused about the Commerce Clause allowing Washington, D.C. to do about anything it wants with communications, insurance or food, because it “MIGHT” be shipped across state lines. But I can tell you that the Commerce Clause wasn’t created to allow government control of everything we say, sell or do in the U.S.

But you wouldn’t know it the way the Supreme Court has allowed our “Representatives” to run amok at our expense, since well before Franklin Roosevelt decided it was a good idea to meddle in the free enterprise system in the 30’s. No, opening the door to socialism is a lot like being a little bit pregnant.

Big Government has it in their heads that it is within their power to solve every perceived problem that comes down the yellow brick road. Which by the way is built and being maintained by the Federal Highway Administration.

And by any stretch of the imagination, I haven’t found anywhere in the Constitution that I must pay for the abortions of drug addicted hookers, who refuse to take free birth control that I also pay for under the Welfare Clause.

Trust me I don’t see anywhere that I must birth, raise, educate and provide healthcare to illegal immigrants, that essentially posses more rights than I do. And to that end, I haven’t discovered where I am obligated to install and maintain over 700 military bases around the world, just because we are the world’s super power. And try as I might, bailing out America’s Super Banks appears nowhere in those 46 pages, especially since it was they that got themselves in to the financial pooky bin in the first place.

No America, it is a dramatic gesture that our freshmen Legislators are drifting towards a Constitutional Congress. However, absent immediate action on returning our Country to some sense of sanity, this will remain just a gesture.

Sadly, I believe that a room full of eighth grader would do a better job interpreting the Constitution than the clowns in D.C. do now.

No folks, sometimes you just have to take a men (or in this our Founder’s) at their words. And stop reading something into it that isn’t there.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

So fu... fu.... fu.... screwed

America, after considerable contemplation, I have concluded that we are, no the world is, fu, fu, fu, screwed. And this does not come easily. You see, after a landslide election, where voters were moved by the cataclysmic warnings of economic calamity awaiting us, if things don’t change, we are pirouetting on the head of a pin, of a hand grenade.

For example, we have our current Speaker of the House, claiming that unemployment and welfare benefits are “stimulating” the economy. We have the chairman of the Federal Reserve stating that printing hundreds of billions every few months will NOT create inflation. We have the current leadership in the White House and Congress, riding a wave of unsustainable spending, locked and loaded to enact even more taxing to pay for more spending…. into infinity and beyond.

Now, as if that isn’t enough, after the landslide election, overwhelmed by the Tea Party and those that claim to support the Constitution, smaller government, lower taxes, and more personal responsibility, none of the above has been uttered since election day.

No, once the Tea Party leeches got the votes they needed, they skittered into the cracks and dark corners like the cockroaches they are, instead of standing on the Congressional steps and condemning the remnants of a Congress that couldn’t send the most corrupt Congressman in history out the House door in handcuffs. Meanwhile we watch Wesley Snipes self commit to a federal institution for years of incarceration, for crimes paling in comparison. And I am still awaiting an apology from Congress.

The problem here folks isn’t lack of taxes, the problem is that government can’t justify the money they spend now. They can’t even come to terms that the money they spend is ours, not theirs. They can’t admit that most of their spending is on their own cost of operation, their blind commitment to entitlements (for unions, and the so-called poor) and the unjustifiable spending for failing environmental and social programs. No people, we are stepping over dollars to save dimes.

The sad reality is, if we took ALL the wealth, every nickel, away from the top 2 percent, that we’re trying to chisel a few more billion from, it wouldn’t make a dent in the U.S. deficit. Dumbplumber

Sunday, December 05, 2010

Desperate Ink Slinger

To my dear friends and followers of Dumbplumber:

If last Tuesday’s Local Fish Wrap Newspaper proves anything, it’s that, “You Can’t Stop Stupid“. Hell, in this case, you can’t even slow it down.

Dumbplumber is thinking about starting an online program and will call it “So You Think You’re Smarter than a Newspaper Publisher”. In the first episode we demonstrate that our local editor/publisher/delivery boy failed miserably to confirm, authenticate or otherwise corroborate erroneous statements defaming Board members of the FRCSD.

Such appears routine for ‘our’ Fourth Estate serial Offender.

I feel sorry for our Publisher. He is so desperate to sell papers that he puts his ignorance in print--draws fire-- then doubles down by repeating the ignorance again. Nevermind that he was accused of “provably erroneous” reporting, his response was, as was his errors, a pathetic attempt to put out a fire with gasoline.

Well, the Dumbplumber, in the future, will be posting his observations of the “Desperate Ink Slinger” on

But don’t expect any rebuttal to reasonable observations, because our Spelling Bee dropout couldn’t find the website if you gave him a map. ((Think “Mayflay“(instead of Mayfly)Pub)) Same edition.

Thank God that the Echo doesn’t have to be responsible, accurate or informative to feed his family. He apparently has an audience that is either immune to his ineptitude or must have a weekly dose of his incompetence to remove any doubts of their own abilities.

No my friends, The Echo, a once reasonable source of information (many moons ago) has bogged itself down like a 4X4 with four bald tires.

Hell, Dumbplumber has a cat that’s smarter than our newspaper publisher. At least, if you swat her for a mistake, SHE doesn’t make it again.

Man from ARSE

Letter sent to our local fish wrap protesting the continual misstatements of facts and printing of rumours. This started a range war between the Dumbplumber and the newspaper editor AKA: Man from ARSE

Dear Editor

I continue to wait for the latest shoe to drop in the ongoing saga of the Fall River Mills Community Services District. And it cannot go un-noticed that no matter what they do, the District Board of Directors seem to be continually accused of being in violation of The Brown Act. Like somehow the Brown Act is the Holy Grail of Public Service, guardian of all that is necessary to protect the citizenry.

Meanwhile, over $250,000 evaporated under the watch of the local newspapers over the last ten years. Most of it was a result of violations of the Brown Act in previous administrations. But I don’t recall THOSE headlines.

It cannot go unmentioned that our current CSD Directors have lives, beyond the CSD, and obligations that prevent them from being scholars of the Brown Act, and who serve, without compensation, just like previous Boards. What sets them apart from other Boards is that these directors serve for the BENEFIT of the District. They have chosen to sacrifice a considerable amount of their time serving this community, when few others care to show up for meetings, except when their water bills get too high.

The question here is, whose interest here is being served with the ongoing criticism over the Brown Act? The best interest of a community whose CSD was in peril, with a few hundred dollars in the bank just 2 years ago and near financial collapse, because a previous manager was squandering money, right under the nose of the local press, in violation of the Brown Act?

Or a Press who is more interested in creating controversy out of whole cloth in order to sell papers. A Press who uncritically and without verification of facts, simply parrots rumor and innuendo.

I would submit there should be a similar binding Brown Act for the Fourth Estate. Like the Accuracy in Reporting, Spelling and Enlightenment Act or ARSE. Nevermind that many stories over the last 2 years contained provable falsehoods, fabrications and outright character assassination, in what can only be described as reporting at its worst.
You see, while hardly a week goes by that we don’t hear more Editorial complaints about the Board’s efforts to secure sound fiscal footing going forward, I don’t recall a printed peep about illegal pay raises and outrageous benefit packages, failure to comply with State reporting or even failure of past management to comply with Grand Jury recommendations and CPA warnings of lack of “internal controls” on spending……for the previous 10 years.

And it can’t go un-noticed the lack of reporting about the facts that OUR District now has the liability of paying 100% of unemployment insurance to previous employees out of cash flow, to the tune of thousands of dollars, because previous managers failed to inform the Board of the lack of unemployment insurance coverage: and failed to make SDI payments from District payroll, which is a violation of State Law.

I don’t seem to recall THAT being a headline in the local papers, that is until new Board members pushed for a forensic audit which unearthed irregularities that were being performed right under the nose of attending reporters, who (not withstanding the Brown Act) had every opportunity to review District finances under the Public Records Act.

Apparently, the Press also failed to report that there were several violations of Prop 218, by illegally raising rates in the District without due process. Instead the Press makes sensational headlines about harried Board members handling mundane administrative duties expeditiously over the phone instead of declaring notice of a special meeting and rearranging schedules in accommodation and delaying the execution of vital business.

But thanks to the crack reporting of local papers, a lot of things were going on at ratepayer’s and taxpayer’s expense which obviously wasn’t contained in the Brown Act and was far more damaging than failing to post notice of a ‘closed’ session 72 hours before a meeting, or expediting prudent solutions by phone.

No my friends, “sinning by silence, when they should protest, DOES make cowards of men“. But constantly criticizing those who had the fortitude and courage to confront the corruption and mismanagement and turn the District around, is wearing thin. Better that you should reserve your protests for those that brought this District to its knees.