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Friday, January 30, 2009

Sphincter Stimulus

It is not the only time in history, but the recent “party line vote” for the Democrat’s “Economic Recovery Act” reveals far more about Republicans than Democrats. Zero Republicans voted for the Act while eleven Democrats voted against it. If it had been any more split, I would have thought they were playing Dodge Ball.

Of course The Economic Recovery Act is just a polite euphemism for: “Five percent of America went on a greed rampage and put the rest of the world in a financial tailspin, so we are going to tax and regulate what’s left of working America to death, in a futile attempt to pad the bank accounts of every politician, their supporters and lobbyists, in a vain effort to unionize America at the expense of non-union businesses“.

But instead of fingering, investigating and jailing the politicians, bureaucrats, mortgage brokers and bankers that got us into this pickle, we are actually giving them MORE power and taxpayer dollars, under the guise of a “Stimulus Package“. Under this rationale, Al Capone should have been hired to run the IRS. Sheesh!

No America, we have just been had, and now those that put IT to us are telling us, we have to step up and take one for the team, because we are all in this together. Well, I disagree. First, I never benefited from this boondoggle. Second, I didn’t do anything to cause it. And third, I won’t receive any “Stimulus”, that I’m paying for, to cure it.

And under the “You couldn’t see this coming Dept.”, the Liberal Media is already predicting that this Stimulus Plan won’t be taking affect any time soon and we will probably spend another trillion or two before the economy turns around. Now to put this into perspective, if we were to give every man woman and child their share of the first trillion, it would be about $3,600 per person or about $12,000 per family. But if we paid every “taxpayer” (you know the ones that have to pay it back) it would be closer to $80,000 apiece.

So, before Democrats get all warm and fuzzy in anticipation of winning their next election, they might take a second look at the 20 plus million taxpayers that listen to Rush Limbaugh and Talk Radio, who are being mugged by the very people that they put in office.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

What I learned today January 27

Bernie Kerik says life’s unfair

Bernard Kerik, New York City’s former top cop, says the legal process has been handled differently between him and Timothy Geithner. Kerik has been under fire for making false statements to Federal Investigators and fraud in the renovations to his home. Geithner, on the other hand, failed to report self employment taxes for several years. Geithner gets to be head of Treasury, Bernie gets jail.

Hey Bernie, your biggest crime wasn’t fraud, it was that you didn’t change your “R” to a “D” and submit your resume to the Obama transition team.

WWII veteran dies after power turned off

A Bay City, Michigan man was found dead in his home yesterday, apparently from hypothermia. Marvin Schur, 91, a WWII veteran had an unpaid $1000 electric bill, so we “restricted” his electricity (that means we didn’t let him have what it takes to live).

Further details were sketchy because investigators were trying to determine whether he was a Democrat or Republican, before the Media could decide whether or not it was an outrage.

Gore Global Warming Hearing, Snowed Under

With a pending ice storm in D.C., record cold in the mid-west, 50 year low temps in Canada and snow in a country that doesn’t have a word for snow, Al Gore’s Congressional Hearings on Global Warming and an urgency to act NOW have been put on ice. Storm warnings have been posted and travel restrictions have been placed on planes, trains and buses entering D.C..

But not to worry, Global Warming Zealots say this blizzard is proof of climate change. We have faxed their locations to security for pick up

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Bail Out Bandages

It is unclear when the Collapse began. You know, the series of meltdowns that triggered the financial emergencies we began treating with “Billion- dollar Bailout Bandages”, meant to put the wheels back on the train and the train back on the tracks. But to many observers of human nature, we believe that while everyone’s attention was on the bandages, someone had taken away the tracks.

You see, there are many that think that America’s demise began when, opportunity was abandoned for leisure, responsibility for freedom, obligation for self indulgence and we began to leave the tracks. And once the notion, of payment to NOT provide, support, or otherwise contribute to society, was ingrained in the human experiment, the wheels came off.

However all these things were reversible until political leaders--immersed in their positions of perpetual power--saw opportunity for eternal influence, by addicting their addlepated admirers with unending entitlements. A great idea for leaders……. for the masses, not so much.

For while our representatives were peppering their political paths with entitlement peons, Environmentalists and lower level bureaucrats were completing the Armageddon Trifecta, by convincing the “lowlifes of leisure” that they could change the world…..for the better. Meanwhile, working America was struggling like a swimmer in a straightjacket, wearing a bowling ball necklace.

It has long been known that our financial fabric was very delicate. But for decades we mustered on in ignorant bliss, right up and until some Harvard economist decided it was a good idea to sell, barter or bundle debt as a financial instrument. But there were commissions, lots of commissions. And once you get one piggy at the trough, it’s damn hard to keep the other ones away. PhD’s, Mba’s and Doctorates from our most elite schools couldn’t wait to trade away the hard working people’s money for puffs of “silver lined” smoke. Smoke that we are now blowing away with gold plated hair dryers.

But not to worry America. There has never been a tragedy that Congress could not make worse.

Obama: The Sham Wow President

Jesus H. Christ, what’s it with all this hero worship of Barack Obama? Bad enough that his election was a sham. Now we have to endure all the self flagellation by the Media over the one-sided coverage they gave to “The One”, right after they spent 18 months hand picking McCain to be his weakest challenger. Then they spent another 6 months ignoring his questionable relationships with known terrorists, terrorist sympathizers, and radical clergy, not to mention his lack of experience other than making shady land deals with a known felon, when not organizing ner-do-wells to milk taxpayer’s for free goodies.

All this to the point that Obama would NOT be qualified to be an FBI agent, an air traffic controller or even a licensed day care provider, but now he is President of the United States. And I’m supposed to drop all outrage over illegal campaign cash, voter fraud, voter intimidation, fabricated super stardom and mass hysteria to embrace the biggest Fraud of the 21st Century.

But now that this joke of a campaign has brought an inexplicable victory, we are all supposed to rally around the First Sambo, and engage in the fantasy that is Barack Hussein Obama, First Felon in Chief.

I don’t think so.

The sign of complete capitulation is the post election “Chachkies” being marketed like Shamwows. The latest is the Barack Obama Gold Coin which was observed in the wee TV hours--which is the best time to sell something that is worthless. This is where we get 30 seconds of dialog about why this is such a great deal. The first thing I noticed was that they are peddling something “valued at $29.95, for $9.95. Kind of gives you a sense of what they think he’s worth doesn’t it?

Next they painfully describe the ingredients as a “Fourteen Carat Gold clad $5 dollar coin, with a picture of Barack on one side and a gold eagle on the other. The eagle gives you Hope, while Obama gives you Change. And in the sweetest of ironies, this coin has no value whatsoever. You can’t spend it anywhere. You can just sit there and stare at it in wonder. Kind of like the new President, eh.

What I learned today January 23rd

Obama to GOP…… I won!

Seems that the new acid test as to whether something is legal is, GET OVER IT, I WON. Well heck. Guess that opens up a whole new meaning to: “Protect, Preserve and Defend, The Constitution of the United States”. It also clarifies and defends the practices of accepting Illegal Campaign Contributions, Illegal Voter Registration and Purchasing votes with beer, cigarettes and bus rides. Now ain’t that special.

Oh, and yeah, how’s that 2nd Amendment thing workin’ for you Barack?

Casey Anthony and Rod Blagojevich…..victims

It appears that Casey “Tot Mom” Anthony and Governor“Hot Rod” Blagojevich may have something in common, other than they are both guilty as hell. Yes folks, both are claiming to be the victims. Right! Well, if they’re victims, I’m Brad Pitt.

Alligator Permits needed in Massachusetts

I never saw this one coming. In Massachusetts you need to secure a permit before you harbor an alligator. I suppose that you will also need one for a Polar Bear, Indian Elephant and a Great White Shark. On the other hand, I have heard of no such requirements for Sasquatch, Bigfoot, Yeti or Moby Dick. And inside sources tell me there currently are no requirements for harboring space aliens, the real Santa Claus or Playboy’s Miss February.

Obama is closing Gitmo

He’s done it. Obama is closing Gitmo. Well, here’s an idea for you. We turn all the remaining prisoners loose in a Wall Mart Super Store and let them have anything they want at our expense. They’ll never leave and it will be cheaper than keeping them locked up.

Friday, January 23, 2009

What did I learn today?

News Flash: Caroline Kennedy has taken herself out of the running for Senator from New York.

A shocked Democrat electorate awaited the official announcement from Frau Kennedy/Schlossberg.

“Ladies and er, uh, um gentlemen, you know, like I er, um don’t need this crap, you know. I um, you know have like a ton of um money and um a law degree and like um I am all busy supporting education and er waiting for um uncle Teddy to bit the like, um big one.

So, there you have it folks. Caroline Kennedy is officially out of the running for Hillary Clinton’s seat………Next.


Had Barack Obama told America, before November 4, what he has been saying since November 4, Sarah Palin would be vice President today.


The new nominee for U.S. Treasury Secretary, Tim Geithner, has admitted that he had no interest or intent to pay his back taxes from 2001 and 2002 (because statutes had lapsed), until he was being vetted for a position, that would make him the boss at the IRS.


With Republicans crossing the isle, in droves, to vote with Democrats on Bank Bailouts, Stimulus Packages, Jobs Creation and everything Socialist, Conservatism isn’t dead……’s Dead and Stinking.

Both old school Conservatives and Blue Dog Democrats are standing at the station watching the Liberals and Moderate Republicans, on the Bullet Train, go by at 300 mph.
AND THAT’S THE WAY IT IS…..The Dumbplumber

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Duh First Felon in Chief

Time for a reality check. If Barack Obama said just 3 months ago, what he is saying now, he would not be President-elect.

And if he weren’t President-elect, he would be in jail for campaign finance fraud, conspiracy to commit voter fraud and felony charges for impersonating someone that cares.

Now there’s Hope and Change.

How the Republicans can Win

I guess the RNC (Republican National Committee) didn’t get the memo, last November……they LOST. So now they are all atwitter about how they are going to get back in the game.

Well, first of all, when I see Mitch McConnell, John McCain and Lindsey Graham in a scrum around a microphone, I know they haven’t gotten the memo. “REPUBLICANS LOST AND YOU CLOWNS ARE WHY”.

If the Repubs want to win next go around in 2010? Here is a short list of clues how to do that. Get rid of the following party leaders:

A) Every Republican who has not read the Federalist Papers.

B) Everyone that voted FOR McClown/Feingold,Kennedy/McClown or supported Cap and Trade.

C) Every Republican that did not cry at Ronald Reagan’s funeral.

D) Every Republican that won’t support punishment-- for stealing from the people (government)--that is far more harsh than the crime.

E) Every Republican that refuses to “means test” EVERY entitlement.

F) Every Republican that refuses to drug test EVERY entitlement recipient. From corporate welfare to the those on food stamps.

G) Every Republican that thinks Al Franken, Michael Moore and David Letterman are funny.

H) Every Republican that plans on attending Ted Kennedy’s funeral.

I) And every Republican that refuses to making rooting out corruption, fraud and uninhibited greed a number one priority.

There, that might just thin the field enough that those that remain standing can actually make a difference. Good Luck in 2010

The Clinton Library's ATM

Heh, heh, heh. You just gotta laugh. Hillary Clinton is about to explain away just how she has nothing to do with her husband’s Presidential Library, even though she has intervened on several occasions between Library donors and Congressional committees. But what about money going OUT of the Library to charitable causes?

Well whoa there. While everyone was all busy looking into income to the Library, we forgot to look where it is--or in this case is NOT--going. Hey folks, you didn’t expect the “Schleeckmeister” to actually spend any money did you?

No, when weak-eyed Willy built his $169 million dollar Library with over $400 million in donations--think payoffs, bribes, blackmail, graft, corruption, grease or payola--beginning shortly after he left office, he had NO intention of paying out any of his booty. He does what the Hollywood elite and the guilt ridden Rich does. He raises awareness. He flies around the world giving speeches and living large, while telling the “Little People” why they should dig deep, to support any given cause de jour. But actually GIVE money, no way.

And to further illustrate just how “slick” Willy is, he often gets his flight costs, lodging, meals and other expenses paid by the very organizations that seek his support, on top of his exorbitant speaking fees. Now that’s a gold plated scam, because none of this money is taxable. You gotta love the American tax code eh?

The Bill and Hillary show looks like anything other than Bill and Melinda Gates, Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward or, for that matter, Pitt and Jolie who have given tens, even hundreds, of millions for the greater good. But Billary, no way. You seldom see Bill and Hillary in the same countries, much less than the same room, unless they are doing something that elevates each others careers or profile. And you never see them handing anyone a check.

But not to worry, with Hillary as Secretary of State, you will see lots of checks. And all of them will be covered by the American taxpayers.

The Obama Plan

Economic Stimulus, Tax Breaks for Middle Class, Universal Healthcare, and Amnesty for Illegal Aliens. No problem-o.

We have been looking at all the Obama initiatives in the wrong way. And just like any other self-serving politician, he has provided loop holes that anyone can use, if they just look closely.

First, Economic Stimulus. Well hey, who isn’t for that. Obama wants to take money from taxpayers and give it to slackers. But I think that taxpayers should just “adjust” their voluntary tax payments, then go out and spend the difference.

Tax Breaks for the Middle Class. Ditto on this one. Time to eliminate the IRS middleman and just not send them a whole bunch of your money every year. Of course this will require some creative writing, not unlike what Congress does every day. Just ask Chris Dodd, Barney Frank and Charlie Rangel, who have elevated tax fraud and tax evasion to an art form. And we’re still waiting for THEM to come clean, while they make life miserable for the rest of us.

Now let’s see, oh yeah, Universal Healthcare. Now this is where it gets a little more tricky. You can either keep all your cash in a coffee can, then plead poverty when applying for Medi-Cal or Medicaid or Medicare. But then again, you can just move to Mexico, denounce your U.S. citizenship, then change your name to Chiquita Banana, Freddie Fender or Senor Taco, then sneak back into the States for some quality medical care on the taxpayers.

Then, if everything goes “Dixie“, under Amnesty for Illegals you can always use your new Hispanic name, and get immunity, some walking around cash, a college education, free healthcare AND a new house of your choice, abandon by the poor schmucks that have been paying the freight, while you were swindling the system.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

No Siree, RNC

Just what was it I did to give the Republican National Committee the idea that I was going to support their ambitions for future elections? Well, first was, I gave a few donations to Fred Thompson. You know. He was the Federalist guy that hit the stage running, right after he kept the MSM talking heads sitting in the car for about 4 months, while he mused about his celebrity and importance. End of Fred.

Then came John, long bald John. He was only treading water because the MSM hadn’t thrown him an anvil yet. I didn’t send the isle crossing, Teddy lovin’, Liberal huggin’, nickel tuggin’ Republicrat a dime. Until Sarah.

When Palin hit the ground in Ohio all the rules changed. Anyone who would send members of their own party to jail for fraud and corruption, is a friend of mine. So, I sent some more money.

Sarah was the breath of fresh air that almost resurrected John’s campaign. I say almost, because once the MSM and Hollyweird got ahold of her, she was not just marginalized, but turned into a caricature, not unlike the one they made of Ross Perot. But I sent donations anyway. Field dressing a moose isn’t necessarily something qualifying anyone for political office, but it is definitely a plus. Not so for media elite America. It is a big no-no, especially if you are a Conservative. Sayonara Sarah.

So now, the RNC thinks I am going to support what is left of the middle of the road Republicans. I don’t think so.

The RNC needs to determine where their base is and cater to it, not the other way around. The old saw goes, “If you don’t stand for something, you will believe anything.” or in this case, do anything to get elected. I would rather go down with principles than stand without them.

So basically, until Republicans decide to promote the basic principles of smaller government, fiscal responsibility, securing our borders, means testing entitlements and any other Federalist policies I have missed, the RNC need not waste further 42 cent stamps.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Carbs and Me

Below is a letter that I sent to one my favorite old car publications about the proposed California emmission standards.

"I just perused the latest tidbits from Bob Stearns on the California Air Resources Board (CARB) priorities. And I have to tell you CARB is part of the problem, not part of the answer.

I have maintained for years that inasmuch as Environmentalists have never been happy with the air quality in Los Angeles, since the 60’s, it would have been easier to hire someone, with a bunch of D9 Caterpillars, to bulldoze the tops off the San Bernardino mountains, letting the prevailing winds to clean the basin naturally.

But NO. We have been butchering auto performance and fuel efficiency since 1965 across the rest of California and the nation to satisfy, what will never be satisfied.

And now CARB is all pixilated about CRATE motors in pre-76 vehicles and the 500 kit cars built each year in California. You have got to be kidding me. With over 21 million vehicles registered in California, CARB is making CRATE motors sound more like Bad Burrito night in a mini-sub, when in reality they are more like a gnat farts in the Hindenburg.

When is someone going to point this fact out to CARB and anybody else anesthetized with the blowback from Al Gore’s Global Warming posterior emissions?

Appeasing CARB will only postpone the inevitable, never stop or change it. If and until someone with a sack explains to CARB that America is a lot more than the L.A. basin, all auto enthusiasts will be threatened."