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Sunday, April 24, 2011

The State of Perpetual Losers

There’s been a lot of noise, coming out of Iran, lately about the annihilation of Israel. Of course that ‘noise’ is now accompanied by the added threat of Teheran’s forthcoming nuclear bomb which, by all accounts, is being developed on Prophesy’s own schedule. And on top of that is the President of Iran, a certified Nut Case, so deluded with power that he actually looks forward to parking mushroom clouds over Tel Aviv.

I say, hot damn ‘Dinner-and-a-Job’, time for the Hootenanny. Thing is though, you may have not taken so much as a glimpse at the ‘Way Back Machine‘, which would tell you that every time one of you Camel Jockey Cowboys got a wild hair stuck in your diapers, you got your proverbial butts kicked. Offensively your pre-announcing your intentions has never worked so good, as you mutton-munching goobers have come out on the short end every time.

Additionally your weakness for sticking your butt in the air 5 times a day isn’t what I would call a great defensive tactic either. It just gives the Jews something to aim at.

Now I don’t want to go out on a limb here, but you cave dwelling dummies aren’t exactly Einsteins either. I can’t remember the last Nobel Prize given to any of you. Add to that a Pulitzer, an Emmy, Academy Award, a Patent, a Medal of Honor or any award for Excellence, Merit, or Achievement. On the other hand I bet you guys have wheel barrows full injured in combat awards, our Purple Heart. Losers get a lot of those.

And not to add insult to future injury, have you seen the women in the Israeli Army? These gals eat guys like you for breakfast. They can turn bouncers at Biker Bars into whimpering simps and Davy Crockett would blush at their marksmanship. And you jokers want to take them on? Good Luck with that.

No my towel headed adversaries, save yourself more humiliation and get on with something more personally rewarding, like tent decorating or sand sculpture.

Dumbplumber Shorts 12

I thought I could really get into the “birther” movement. I mean it would be so easy, the intrigue, the conspiracy, the overt effort to ignore the obvious. It would be a piece of cake to jump on this bandwagon, inasmuch as Obama, so far, has spent over $2 million keeping his “long form” birth certificate concealed. And this doesn’t even count his college records and papers.

But given Obama’s efforts to bankrupt and change the U.S. into his version of a Socialist Utopia, where, when and whose daddy was his is the least of my concerns. I don’t even care what his real name might have been, since Spanky and Buckwheat have already been taken.

Here’s another dose: Nothing quite like a roomful of seniors whacking away at a Tea Party politician for supporting Ryan’s deficit plan that cuts Medicare spending. Nevermind that Medicare’s budget of $510 billion dollars is infested with over $100 billion in fraud, waste and corruption. Apparently they don’t want to cut that either.

It’s all about the numbers: We are reminded daily that Sarah Palin’s approval ratings are dropping. But with Congressional approval and Obama’s “very much approval” both hovering at 19%, it makes Charlie Sheen’s approval at 29% a bonanza. So Sarah’s overall approval at 39% already rivals the President. And what is more revealing is that with Donald Trump’s recent rant on Obama’s birth certificate, his approval is higher than any of the those listed above.

Still Bashing Palin: In Liberal publishing there are two things you can always count on: First, Liberal reporters will always change their position to accommodate whatever a Progressive says. And Second: When they have exhausted high praise for every Democrat they can think of, they drag out a Republican for further evisceration. However, when it’s Sarah Palin, it’s more like a 2 month old road kill than anything resembling fresh meat. But not to worry, tomorrow is another chance-to-bash-Palin day.

More Pondering

So, while you get all giddy with Obama’s caring about the ‘little’ people, you might want to keep this in mind. Obama just appeared in Chicago at one of his many upcoming 2012 campaign fundraisers, which charged the diners $35,000 per plate. Now that is some dinner. Don’t you just wonder for a moment, how many ‘little’ people were out there gobbling down the rubber chicken?

Why don’t we try this on for a second and see how it fits. Obama has spent the past 2 ½ years shoveling out trillions of dollars to the service unions, the automobile unions, the construction unions and state employee unions. (Is there a pattern emerging here?) Now on a whim, you will pardon me if I speculate that the Community-Organizer-in-Chief is just going around picking up his vig. And this for all you folks that thought he was going to raise a billion dollars from secretaries, shoe shine boys and waitresses. (Oops, that was Hillary wasn’t it?)

Better he should have just one picnic with the heads of all the unions and charge them $100 million for the bag. Then they could drop all pretense of campaign funding legality and at least get a decent hot dog.

Something else to ponder: If Obama, Geithner, Harry Reid and all the rest of the, “you can’t cut anything” school continue scaring the be-Jesus out of old people, the poor and the infirmed, maybe someone should ask them if we could just cut the waste, the fraud and the corruption. How about that? Or would that cut too far into their campaign coffers?

No folks, we have a president, on track, to have borrowed more money in his first term of office than all the previous presidents put together. And for all his borrowing, spending and re-distributing, we haven’t weaned anyone off welfare, entitlements or the government gravy train.

And this man wants us to donate to his re-election. You just can’t put this anywhere on the Stupid Meter.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Hell in a Hand Basket

There are many that believe that America is going to Hell and they are preparing accordingly, buying Gold and Silver, then putting them in a vault, where they gather moss and, for now, value. But Dumbplumber thinks this is just stupid. If I’m going to hoard something, it better be edible.

Oh, we’re going to Hell alright. But as heard about a year ago on one of the blogs, “when all Hell breaks loose, Plumbers will be Kings”. Now that may be sort of a stretch, but if plumbers are Kings, hunters will be Emperors, if not Gods. No my friends, things won’t look quite the same when the sky falls.

Gold may be the big dog now, but look for it to be on the shelves in Dollar Stores in the future. The reason: Because guns and ammo will be stored in Fort Knox. In fact, it won’t surprise me if banks empty their vaults of cash and fill them up with toilet paper, catsup and Band Aids.

Oh, there will still be millionaires. In fact I will have a couple of them weeding my garden and washing my trucks for in trade for my plumbing services. In fact, I suspect there will be a lot of folks out there, that hoarded gold, performing tasks totally unrelated to their chosen fields.

For instance, lawyers will be hosing down slaughter houses for dinner, CPAs will be washing dishes for a chance to stand in line for a cup of soup .
And it will be a hoot watching Politicians stuffing firewood into homemade boilers and weeding vegetable rows in community greenhouses.

Of course the big box stores in the cities will have to retool. Out will be carpets, appliances and fancy plumbing fixtures. In will be axes, hammers and hand saws. Any spare room will store nuts, berries and the mother of all banquet favorites, cases of Top Ramen soup and bags of red beans and rice.

But the number one commodity will be guns and ammo and anything that can be converted to guns and ammo. Yessir, I can’t wait to see the ‘Hope and Change’ Messiah scrounging in the landfills for Beer Nuts, discarded sodas and the occasional Marlboro butts. Those will go quite well with his Humble Pie and a double helping Crow.

Dumbplumber Shorts 10

Look who’s in control It was pointed out to me today that 544 people control what goes on with government in America. Specifically, that’s 435 Congressmen, 100 Senators, 9 Supreme Court Justices and 1 President. That’s it 544. So explain to me again, why WE all need to share the pain, when it was 544 people over several administrations that got us where we are today? Go ahead, I’ll wait. Hey, I’ve got a better idea. Since I didn’t benefit from any of the wasteful, shameful, or fraudulent spending, leave me off the list of “Sharing the Pain”. If you don’t I will take myself off. Commiserating with a Liberal Earlier today I locked horns with a certified, uncompromising, lefty loon Liberal. Wow! My lower lip is still bleeding because she is one of my LOL’s (little old ladies). We started with, “I like Obama because he is so smart”. I let that one go by like a high and outside fastball. Then she started on Congressman Ryan’s idea to privatize Medicare. Whoa, I didn’t see that one coming. I told her that Medicare admits that it loses somewhere between $100 and $200 billion a year in waste, fraud and abuse. But she was still twirling when I said we should at least cut that out. No go, she was still sideways. Then I harpooned her with, “ how about we roll back both Social Security and Medicare to what they were when adopted”. Had her then. I went on to examples of the bastardizing, prostituting and expanding both programs to where no one recognizes them any more. But she agreed that going back to the original intent of covering seniors as a safety net was a good idea. Whew, I have hit pay dirt. I have agreed with a Liberal. Like my mother, she hates Sarah Palin. I asked her honestly, “What did Sarah Palin ever do to you that you would hate her so much?” I’m still waiting for the pin to drop.

Thursday, April 07, 2011

Dumbplumber Shorts 8

Dumbplumber Shorts 8 An April 4, unspoken truth: Today President Obama announced on twitter that he was running for a second term. Now there are those who argue that he hasn’t finished crushing America yet, and needs more time. While others believe that he hasn’t finished paying off the unions, political hacks and entire states that helped him get elected the first time. In any event it HASN’T been announced that he repaired that inadvertent flaw whereby his website failed to block illegal donations, even from foreign countries with folks that have no consonants in their names or from cities you can’t find on any map. Dumbplumber says, “Let the corruption begin”. And on a related story: Has anyone else noticed that as America’s debt has gone vertical, so has Obama’s re-election cash? Looks like spreading around taxpayer money has its own rewards. A billion dollars is what you get when you hand out a trillion to your unions, state governments and international movers and shakers. It is also the unspoken truth that while both the debt and Obama campaign cash are inextricably connected, it is the American taxpayer that will be paying for both. Like anybody ever thought that Obama‘s campaign contributions came from someone‘s hard earned income. “Let the corruption continue”. A case for going Democrat: You know, when you think about it, maybe voting Democrat may be the shortest path to our salvation. Of course, like forest fires, alcoholism or bankruptcy, you can’t start over until you hit rock bottom. Since America doesn’t appear to want to listen to common sense and continue to vote-in politicians that can’t balance a checkbook, understand the word deficit, or even agree to cut waste, fraud and abuse out of the Federal Budget, maybe the sooner we declare insolvency, the better. However, we should all understand that finger pointing, placing blame and whining will not be constructive when foraging for nuts and berries and field dressing wild game. No one will care then, and I don’t care now.

Monday, April 04, 2011

Dumbplumber Shorts 7

Under the ‘You Can’t Make This Up’ department: In one segment of MSNBC’s Morning Joe, Mika Brzezinski poked considerable fun at our freshmen Republican Congressmen for pushing for an additional $60 billion in spending cuts beyond the draconian $10 billion they already cut out of the ‘011 federal budget. Then, nearly in the same breath, she gave high kudos to Governor Andrew Cuomo for his cutting $10 billion out of New York State’s budget. Well, I guess one man’s (er, uh woman’s) victory is another’s albatross. The only difference appears to be the letter before the Party affiliation. Just sayin’. Under the You Knew it Would Eventually have to happen: It appears that in San Francisco, one of the uber-Liberal politicians is demanding that the City’s union workers take a pay and benefit “cut”. Yes, it appears that the snake has began to eat its tail. You see the City has realized that the excessive pay and benefit packages are taking away money they want to give to a whole host of give-away programs, like homes for crack addicts, meals for dirtballs (who spend their days panhandling) and free methadone for junkies. Damn good work if you can get it. Dust Bunny Queen nails it: Wifey may just have something here. She says the reason that Congress doesn’t want a shutdown is because we may discover that we don’t need them. Certainly makes more sense than anything else floating around out there.