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Sunday, November 29, 2009


If there are any recurring themes from our president it is Control, Payback and a move toward Socialism. In just a few months Americans have learned things about our Leader, things that should shake the ground under any red-blooded American.

Now to be fair, it isn’t just the fault of the Democrats, that much of the following wasn’t in the public arena prior to election day. No, it was just as much Republicans NOT wanting to upset the PC police, who were on 24hr. patrol during the entire campaign. But as they say, two wrongs don’t make a right.

Below are enough land mines to derail a hundred campaigns, but somehow and inexplicably they were ignored, when it came to our first black president:

When Obama wrote a book and said he was mentored as a youth by “Frank“, (Frank Marshall Davis), an avowed Communist, people said it didn't matter.

When people found out that, as a child, he was enrolled as a Muslim in school and his father and step father were both Muslims, people said it didn't matter.

When he wrote in another book he authored, “I will stand with them (Muslims) should the political winds shift in an ugly direction”, people said it didn't matter.

When he wrote in his book, ’I chose Marxist friends and professors in college‘, people said it didn't matter.

When he traveled to Pakistan, after college on an unknown national passport, people said it didn't matter.

When he sought the endorsement of the Marxist party in 1996 as he ran for the Illinois Senate, people said it didn’t matter.

When he sat in a Chicago Church for twenty years and listened to a preacher spew hatred for America and preach black liberation theology, people said it didn't matter.

When Obama‘s place of birth was questioned, due to conflicting accounts by his own relatives, he steadfastly refused to submit a copy of his “original birth” certificate. So, instead of putting the issue to rest, as president he has spent millions of our tax dollars dodging the issue, confirming the level of intelligence of the people who say it doesn’t matter.

Obviously America wasn’t privy to all these issues during the campaign of ‘08, or the man would not be president today. But he is president, despite tens of millions in campaign finance fraud, vote fraud, voter intimidation and strong armed politics in key caucus states. So now that we deluded ourselves all the way to the polling booths, we have to live with this turkey. But then:

When he started spending us into a debt that was so big we would be challenged to pay the interest, people said it didn't matter.

When he took a huge spending bill under the guise of stimulus, and used it as payback to organizations, unions and individuals that got him elected, people said it didn't matter.

When he took over insurance companies, car companies, banks, etc., people said it didn't matter.

When he took away student loans from the banks and put it through the government, people said it didn't matter.

When he designed plans to take over the health care system and put it under government control, people say it doesn’t matter.

And when he set into motion a plans to take over control of all energy in the United States through Cap and Trade, people say it doesn't matter.

And if all of this isn’t disconcerting enough, Obama has surrounded himself with tax cheats, Maoists, Marxists and Fascists, along with few Chicago thugs.

So, if you are an Obama Supporter, please do not be angry with me, because I think your president is a socialist. The above speaks for itself. There are too many facts supporting it.

It has become painfully apparent that our biggest enemy is not China , Russia , or Iran. No, our biggest enemy is a contingent of politicians in Washington DC, being led-around- by-the-nose, by our Commander-in-Chief. And if they are allowed to continue, we will eventually be less a European Socialist nation and more like a Third World Obamacracy. Time to wake up and smell the coffee people. Nevermind that your president has a Harvard education. Due to the above, this is more about YOUR intelligence than HIS.

The Dumbplumber--with a little help from Google

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Palin Mania

From time to time someone needs to tell the political elites, campaign operatives, partisan consultants and flapping lipped idiots to just shut up. And when it comes to Sarah Palin, this just might be one of those times.

For someone who is, “not smart enough to be president“….“is a political joke”…. “has no chance to get elected”…. and ….“needs to get more experience”, she has garnered more criticism and fame than any other politician, celebrity or author in recent history. So much so, that the attention paid to her, by rabid MSM critics, has become an embarrassment to many respected political pundits.

However, the Palin Mania is different from all other hysterical, historical moments. She hasn't won an Academy Award, the Pulitzer, a Golden Globe, a Grammy or even the Nobel. No, she is a former Governor of Alaska, whose only mistake was saying yes to John McCain, to be his VP pick. It was a gift to McCain, because his campaign was in the dumper until she arrived. But it was a curse for Palin, because she actually brought life back into McCain's chances, which was not the “Plan” for the MSM, who hand picked him to lose against the chosen Democrat.

As an outside observer, the Dumbplumber often says that there has never been a newly elected president that was prepared to be President. There is no “President’s” school other than on-the-job training, so it is often repeated that challengers “aren’t smart enough to be president”.

Well, history has shown that measurable intelligence isn’t a guarantee of a good president, former presidents Hoover, Nixon, Carter and now the Harvard educated, Dr. Utopia is living proof of that.

No, our most successful presidents were people of faith, of humble character and rock solid core beliefs. You know, the exact opposite of what we have now. And you gotta love those, who trumpet Palin’s lack of “experience”. Well, her resume of campaign successes, private sector accomplishments and political envy will just have to speak for itself. As a reality check, you will have to remind me just which members of the Congress ever left office more humble, patriotic and chaste than they arrived.

But it’s the Palin envy that has stymied the media. Never has there been this level of envy in American politics. And the MSM doesn’t just hate her, they fear her and are, at the same time, the main reason for her fame. Her popularity in middle America just drives Blue State Liberals and their puppet media nuts. And they can’t do a damn thing about it, but attempt character assassination, which most of America has already figured out.

Palin is not a Messiah. Nope, we already have one of those and it isn’t working so well. No, she believes in the inner spirit of the people to solve our their own problems, a notion quite foreign to Dr. Utopia.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Lawrence of NBC

Well, it didn’t take Lawrence O’Donnell very long to take aim at Sarah Palin’s new book, Going Rogue. O’Donnell didn’t bother reading the book, he simply extracted comments by the 11 Assoc. Press proof readers, to load his arsenal of vacuous rants. However, so not to be unfair and unbalanced, one is compelled to ask, why didn’t Larry review the two Obama books which is littered with a plethora of wishful inaccuracies?

A closer look at the self proclaimed “practical European socialist” shows us that Larry’s only claim to fame seems to be his stints as Chief of Staff of both Senate Finance and the Environment and Public works committees from 1992 through 1995, then as Agitator in Chief from 2002 to this day. His resume accurately omits any real job requiring anything other than “lip flapping lackey“, which seems to be his only redeeming quality or inequality whichever floats your boat.

Larry’s shining accomplishments appear to be erroneously accusing Karl Rove as the one that outed Valarie Plame as a CIA agent to journalist, Matt Cooper, that reported it in a story. Of course we later discover that it wasn’t Karl after all. But he was AWOL at all opportunities to apologize to “The Brain” for his lack of tact and accuracy.

Larry (easily confused with Larry of Larry, Daryl and Daryl) also has had his moments, on air, screaming “Liar, Liar, Liar….” about 30 times at John O’Neil, Swift Boat Spokesman, during a MSNBC Scarborough Country segment in 2004, until he was mercifully pulled off the set during an ad segment. And he has performed encores of this behavior on several other venues, where his uncontrolled diatribes at fellow panelists and guests were allowed to run well beyond their effective usefulness.

No, it is not clear just how Lawrence has continued to reappear on the Peacock Network’s various programs, other than O’Donnell has some very compromising photos of GE’s CEO, Jeffery Immelt sharing galoshes with farm animals. But absent that, there is no reasonable excuse for allowing O’Donnell to take up one more moment of valuable air time.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Tea Party Tee Shirt

To my minions and those that clicked on Dumbplumber looking for a tutorial on replacing their water heater. This site doesn’t teach you how to do a job you were never supposed to do anyway. Get your brother-in-law or someone that knows the business end of a pipe wrench to take care of your problems.

This site points out the obvious, criticizes the status quo and pummels those who insult the intelligence of anyone smarter than a Cocker Spaniel.

To this end, the Dumbplumber has just commissioned his first Tee-shirt.

You gotta love it.

The same folks that believe that we are here by mere chance, rather than Intelligent Design, can’t figure out how “Chance” did it either.

And if that isn’t enough, while they believe in evolution--with the fight on “global warming”-- they are trying to figure out NOW how to stop “Chance”.

Being a tree hugging Progressive must be a bitch.

Reporting on the elections:

Bob McDonnell ( R ) has just taken Creigh Deeds ( D )for the Governor of Virginia. McDonnell was heard saying to supporters upon his victory, “And you can see the White House from my front porch”.

7:30 and New Jersey just elected Chris Christie their new Governor. Seems that those last 5 visits Obama made on Corzine’s behalf worked well for Christie. Ah to be Robert Gibbs, the new Excuser Czar.

A good nights sleep to find that Doug Hoffman biffed it in New York’s 23rd District. Well, you couldn’t actually say it was a blowout. Hoffman wasn’t even a resident of “23”, but somehow garnered almost 50% of the vote. Meanwhile Dede Scozzafava the original “Republican” candidate received 6%, even after she removed herself from competition. You gotta love the “Conservatives” from upstate New York. No wonder they are getting ready to “re-draw” the District lines….Again. Since Mr. Hoffman ‘was’ a District resident until the lines were redrawn before the election.

The Dumbplumber believes that Democrats have learned nothing from these elections. However, “establishment” Republicans should be listening to this shot across their bow. Don’t ignore the Voters. You do at your peril.

Sunday, November 01, 2009

A Message from General George S Dumbplumber. Listen UP Maggots

The Battle for Healthcare

Ok maggots, this is General George S. Dumbplumber and it’s time for a little Reveille on the current Battle on healthcare. First, drop and give me 50 if you are dumb enough to think this is about Your health, Your care, Your insurance or Your opinion. It isn’t. It’s about control, you dirt eating Dipshits, so get over it. The folks back in D.C. care about your healthcare about as much as they care about the colors in camo.

Second, if they gave a gnats ass about your health, they would tell you to eat three squares and get a good nights sleep. They would carpet bomb you with warnings to stay away from the bottle, trash the cigs and drugs and push your sorry butts away from the T.V. for a few minutes every day for some push ups, and to spend a little more time at the salad bar….but they don’t.

Your care. You have got to be shitting me maggots. America has the greatest healthcare system in the world and don’t you forget it. The Commander-in-Chief, on the other hand, wants to change all that.

Third, if you think this is about health insurance, pull your head out of your ass and blow the crap out your ears. Insurance is what you get for a rainy day. But it’s only been raining cats and dummies in D.C. since there‘ve been pup tents. Now this is where it starts to get real stupid, and as we all know, you can’t stop stupid.

We got one side of the isle up there in D.C. acting and the other side re-acting. Everybody agrees that health insurance is too expensive, but do these sorry A-holes want to do anything about it. No maggots. They admit that lawyers--and you know how much General Dumbplumber loves lawyers--cost America’s healthcare system tens if not hundreds of billions every year, but not a peep about taking a Howitzer to them. Ditto, fraud, waste and corruption admittedly costs another few hundred billion, but I don’t hear so much as a grenade pin drop on that land mine.

Maggots, what I hear is we are going to make everyone part of Obama’s Healthcare Army. And we know how well that works out. Under this little slice of brain surgery the slackers, dopers and losers will be sucking up hospital beds, doctors and meds, while you dummies will be doing their pushups, peeling their potatoes and scrubbing their pots. Get it dummies?
Page 2

Imagine for a moment maggots that everyone is going on a 10 mile forced march, but 6 out of ten of you will be packing one of the limp wristed, pencil necked, losers the whole damned way. And not just them, but their packs and weapons too. How you gonna like that soldiers? That’s what you get when you let Liberals start thinking for themselves… and us.

Ok here’s the deal mush heads. Congress has decided to make all of you carry the load, while trial lawyers, gamers and douche bags get rich picking our treasury clean. Meanwhile bureaucrats become the growth industry of America. And as for your opinion, they can’t handle your opinion…in other words, “they don’t need your ‘stinking’ opinion”.

No maggots, the folks in charge will sell you down the river as quickly as they would “can” Obama’s farts and sell them as an air freshener.
And in the meantime, America is being bombarded with rhetoric, from the Left, so twisted, mangled and distorted, it’s beginning to look more like a target range than comprehensible press releases.

Hell people, Congressional Leaders can’t even camouflage Government run healthcare. First it was the Single Payer then, the Public Option, then a Co-op, then Opt Out, then…oh hell there’s been so many, even the General can’t keep up. Bottom line is it will eventually be Socialized Medicine, no matter what you call it now. I know, I know, the argument is that the Army has “socialized” medicine now. But you all forget that the Army is an all volunteer operation protecting and defending the Constitution of the United States, as opposed to the House and Senate, who are all busy tearing it apart. Just try and NOT volunteer for the Healthcare Plan coming down the pike and see what that gets you.

So maggots, when you get done with that 50, give me another 100 if you think you will be better off with Nancy Pelosi running your healthcare. This is a woman that buys her Botox by the barrel and make-up by the bucket. Not exactly qualities that endear confidence in the open and transparent leadership we were all promised just a year ago.

Gen. George S. Dumbplumber

Enter The Obamacracy

It is often said that, “Imitation is the greatest form of flattery”. Well if that’s true, America’s Constitution--by way of the U.S. Congress-- is being treated like a Republican Bloopers Marathon on John Stewart’s Daily Show.

Ignoring the Constitution isn’t a new thing. It has been going on since Woodrow Wilson thought it was a good idea to tax and spend our way out of a depression, while simultaneously erecting economic blockades to any moves toward prosperity. And we all know how well that worked out.

But once we started the Socialist snowball down the hill, passing un-constitutional laws became Congress’ favorite pastime. To the point that recently a Senator commented, “It’s our job to pass laws. It’s the citizen’s job to prove they’re unconstitutional”. Well, I’m glad he cleared that up, since it takes about a week to craft and vote on an unconstitutional bill, but it takes years to get it up to the Supreme Court, where they assess constitutionality with all the impartiality a pack of jackals shows a fresh kill.

Our Constitution--arguably the greatest governing document ever produced --is being shredded, trampled on and ignored by the very body charged with protecting it. Every Administration and Congress--back to before WWII-- has basically ignored the Constitutional limitations set on government. But our leaders will readily refer to the Constitution’s power when dodging requests for remedies to pressing social issues. Talk about swinging from both sides of that plate!

But never in the history of this once great nation, has the Constitutional Meat Grinder been shifted into overdrive. No my friends, if the Porkulus Bill, the Auto Takeover, the Banking Bailout, the Union Bailouts and the coming Knee Cap and Trade and Obamacare doesn’t wake you up to the total abdication of the U.S. Constitution, nothing will.

So if you are still waiting for your Bailout, your Green job, your Tax Cut, your Free Healthcare, Subsidized Energy and non-Union Porkulus job, you might take off your tinfoil hat and consider a .357 dirt nap. Cause it ain’t happenin’ folks. The

The Curse of being Right

One of the things about being a keen observer of politics is that once you have made a prediction, you have to wait for weeks--sometimes months--for the media and pundits to catch up. And catch up they do, but they do it kicking and screaming at bloggers who often beat them to the punch.

Take for instance the pay and benefit packages of public employees. It was over a year ago that the Dumbplumber said that they were “unsustainable”. Nevermind that they had been extorted from City, County and State governments threatened with shutdown, by union goons more interested in control and filling union coffers than a working representative government.

Of course the economic downturn didn’t help much. Bad, mediocre, even historically good investments by union fund managers and public employee fund managers reaped billions in losses to funds, heaping those billions on the backs of taxpayers shackled with the duty of making them whole. Many taxpayers whom lacked either health insurance or pensions themselves. But the point was, the economic downturn exposed the obscenely bloated entitlements afforded to rank and file public employees.

And the Dumbplumber was pilloried by Lefties, union lackeys and public employee sycophants offended by the observation. He was labeled a knuckle dragging, Right Wingnut parroting Bushco. That was then, this is now.

Again, many months ago the Dumbplumber characterized Obama as a flaming Socialist appearing to be much more like a young Hitler than the leader of the free world. His “redistribution of wealth” visions being applied to the auto, insurance, banking, energy and health industries, while not just draining the treasury but borrowing from a communist country, then spending that on public entitlement and union controlled construction projects as well. Boy did the howling ratchet up after that one.

Hey folks, this isn’t crystal ball time. The man has told us then surrounded himself with people prepared to drive the U.S. into the dark ages. It was just that the Dumbplumber was listening. But take heart people, the Dumbplumber isn’t alone. You’re about to witness what happens when we have an election without ACORN helping out Democrats.

New Rules for Unions

We all know that union members live in an alternative universe. We all know that they routinely shut down businesses and regional governments to extort exorbitant pay and benefit packages, while personally flaunting foreign made clothes, electronics and autos, built by low paid non-union workers. But few of us know of some of their other hypocrisies.

For instance, many union members routinely take second jobs at nonunion businesses. And it’s not only on the Sopranos that you see union members doing a little contracting on the side, building decks, painting houses, roofing buildings remodeling garages and constructing man caves, at well below union wages. But the hypocrisy doesn’t stop there. Union members have been known to engage in buying and selling autos, jewelry, coins and other unregulated transactions then NOT reporting the profits on their taxes. And eBay is infested with union members pillaging and plundering buyers and sellers without so much as a glance by the IRS.

And while the rest of us will have Obamacare shoved down our throats, the U.S. Congress and the president(who will be doing the shoving) and unions will most likely be exempt from participating, by virtue of them being more equal than the rest of us. I can’t wait for them to try and cut in line at the clinics and hospitals. But you can be assured that they will have a doctor’s private line on speed dial at the sign of the first sniffle or paper cut.

You see, while over 80% of America works hard to pay their taxes and the costs of the bloated bureaucracy of Government, Unions don’t have to work nearly as hard. What they do have to do is just go along with der Leader and keep supporting every hair-brained socialist program he rolls out for the rest of us.

No, while we 80%ters are being fitted for harness and shackles, the Congress, the President and 18% of America are doing the fitting, but are excluded from participating.

Go Figure, the Dumbplumber.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

The Notell Nobel

This morning I queried, who’d ever thought that it would be easier to get the Nobel Peace Prize than a bowling trophy? That seemed funny until I learned that it was to be a trophy for your first 100 game.

Since then I’ve had a whole day and a lot of input, to put this all into perspective and things are far worse than I thought. Nevermind that most of the Media sophisticates are likewise befuddled at how the worst bowler in presidential history scored a Nobel Prize. So, after some Web surfing, Google punching and, last but not least, plunger gazing, I think, by George, I’ve got it.

The secret to all this bruhaha is that the Nobel isn’t quite as important as we had originally thought. Or in the bastardized words of Inigo Montoya, “I don’t think ‘Peace Prize’ means what you think it means”. For instance, It has been reported that Sundance Resort is giving away Nobel Prizes with every season pass. Not true. They are giving away the Nobel with parking pass. It is Mt. Ashland’s Bunny Hill that gives away Nobels with every season pass.

Furthermore, you can take any of these Nobels and get a free pizza at Godfather Pizza, in over 300 U.S. cities.

Nobels have been reportedly given to growers of very large pumpkins, winners of hot dog eating competitions and hookers who have shown generous compassion to farm animals and Liberal politicians…on the same evening. These prizes grace the mantles of countless winners of dwarf tossing, gourd smashing and gerbil racing championships.

Some say that it wouldn’t be long before the S&H company was going to issue “Nobel” collecting booklets where you could glue in your prizes instead of the old stamps. Plans are to award a Chinese toaster for every 5 booklets of Nobels.

Yes my friends, the Nobels aren’t what they used to be, and neither are the recipients. So if you are somehow dazed and confused about the importance of the Nobels today, you’re not half as stunned as the guy it was given to.

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Obama Keeping His Promise

We are often told that life is a stage. I say Horse Hockey. It may have been a stage at one time, because a stage usually has three acts and an ending. But there never has been a stage, a play or even a sideshow like we are seeing today.

No, over last 8 months life has been more like a parade, just one jumbo elephant turd after another mucking up the “Acts” trying to get down the street. And in this parade there is quite a cast of characters mumbling, stumbling and trying to scrape the dung off their boots every few steps.

It is alleged that P.T. Barnum said, “there’s a sucker born every minute”, but he never lived to see the FUBAR we are witnessing today. It appears that over a hundred million of these “suckers” signed on to the absurd promises, the twisted hyperbole, the impossible prognostications of a man that would say absolutely anything to get elected….knowing that his words were as empty as the heads of those supporting him. I particularly liked the part how he promised he wasn’t going to raise taxes.

Whether is was the $787 billion dollar “Porkulus Bill”, the Auto Bailout, or the repeated Citibank and AIG bailouts, taxpayers were left holding the bag for trillions, under the guise of urgency, be-damned bankruptcy and reason.

Now, that the ink has yet to dry on those boondoggles, we are being told that Healthcare is on the verge of bankrupting us, so we must insure everyone on the taxpayer’s back in order to save America. Nevermind that this monumental exercise in deception is bogged down in Yak guano in the bowels of Congress, our Leader is up in the U.N. telling the world that America is going to the mat to fight “climate change”(formerly called global warming, but was changed when it was discovered that over the past 10 years the earth has been cooling).

What is amusing is that for someone that has sided with the “environmental evolutionists” he is going to stop an environment that has been changing for billions of years.

Far be it from me to attempt to stop this exercise in futility. I just sit back and enjoy the parade knowing I will insure that he keeps at least one of his promises.

Random Thoughts

It is so amusing to witness the early moves by politicians who are eying a White House run in 2012. Other than Mitt Romney, who has been running since 2006, Tim Pawlenty has made his initial moves to put together a campaign staff. Well my friends, Tim Pawlenty has a wake up call coming.

You see, Tim is like a high school football quarterback warming up on one side of the field, who looks to the other side and sees Brett Favre in lipstick and high heels doing his nails on the other.

And on an unrelated subject, Iranian President for Life, Dinner-Jacket-and-a-Job, is officially thanking ACORN for his recent win in the Iranian national elections. Seems that he hired ACORN to register voters, kept them on as polling monitors(jack boots and all) then commissioned them to count the ballots. High kudos to ACORN for their capable and guaranteed win in a well fought election.

Too bad he couldn’t have kept them around to carry the bodies of the campaign protestors off the streets.

Caution to the IOC during the pending visit by Michele and Barack to Denmark pushing the Chicago hosting of the 2016 Olympics.

First, when a fleet of D.C. jets collect on your runways to promote an athletic event in Chicago, pay attention. They aren’t there for the children, they’re there for the money.

Second, when you get between a Chicago politician and his money, you will be lucky to end up the puck in one of the hockey games.

No, this is NOT a joke.

The Palin Rx

A lot of fun is being had at the expense of Sarah Palin. Indeed, the Letterman elitists, the Beverly Hills Crybabies and Ivy League snobs barely hold a candle to the treatment she receives from the Wall Street cabal infested with the overeducated, underachieving trust fund babies who have bought and paid for the Republican Party. A party that has hijacked the term “Conservative“, but can barely explain what it means.

Unfortunately, real Conservatives DO know what it means and in the words of Inigo Montoya, “it doesn’t mean what they think it means”.

No, Sarah Palin has been the pinata of everyone scared shitless that she has connected with middle America and those of us on both ends of the country that believe in our Constitution, limited government, lower taxes, personal responsibility and sanctity of life.

She has pixilated mass media Liberals, who relish at the notion of shutting down talk radio and cable news, not toting the Party line. And her recent endorsement of the Tea Party activists and vows to support Conservatives has the Republicans wetting their panty hose over a Third Party surge that ended up putting Bill Clinton on Pennsylvania Avenue instead of Bush 41.

But the Dumbplumber doesn’t believe, for a minute, that Palin would pull a Ross Perot in 2012. She doesn’t have to. All she has to do is liberate the Republican Party. Sure, there would be some resistance, but who would really notice if the RINOs just pulled in their horns and wandered across the isle to join with the losers they have been accommodating for years. It would be easy. Just hand pick real Conservatives and invite the others to leave the room.

You see, the answers to today’s problems aren’t “complicated” they aren’t “complex”, they aren’t even “hard”. What they are, are painfully simple if you apply basic principles, reason, logic and a little sugar to help the medicine go down. And that is where Dr. Palin comes in. She’s the sugar, government is the ailment and you are the cure. And once America figures this out, Big Government will be in remission and recovery in sight.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Let Me Put It This Way

Okay, let me put it this way.

When was the last time you put up with an habitual liar? Now I don’t mean little white lies like, your mullet looks great or that green tie looks really hot with that yellow shirt, or my ¾ ton SUV gets 40 miles per gallon. No, I mean verifiable whoppers.

When was the last time you invited this liar into your home? When did you let them have some quality time with your kids? Did you ever let this liar take over your finances, determine which car you were going to buy or which doctor you went to?

When was the last time you let a certified liar determine who your friends would be?

And so I say to you, “Well my smug, smarmy, smiley toothed devil, they don’t know about you, but I do. I have lived long enough to have met a platoon of disingenuous hucksters just like you. And to a man they have been constantly moving targets, never staying in one place very long, having burned bridges and made fools of themselves with every one they have met.

No folks, what we DON”T have here is a healthcare crisis, an energy crisis, a banking crisis, an auto manufacturing crisis or an environmental crisis. All these manufactured crises have proven solutions (ie: bankruptcy or intellectual honesty). What we have here is a “lack of control” crisis. Yes, my Obama loving friends, he wants total, or at least majority, control.

So there you have it. You have been warned. If you let this Fool and his Minions have their way, it is your fault, not his. He can take only what you let him take. And if you let him have what he wants, it will be you who are the dummy, because the Man, his mission and those he was closest to was always there.

It is YOUR duty to decide if you would have this man as your neighbor, much less than the leader of your country.

His Grand Vision

It is always nice when someone leads by example rather than fiat. Unfortunately, that is not the case with the current administration.
What we have here is a Socialist ideologue plowing ahead damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead. OR, don’t do as I do, do as I say.

You see our Fearless Leader has an agenda that will NOT be denied. He is going to mould his vision of what He wants to see this country become--think Socialist--and nothing is going to stand in His way, not Republicans, not Conservatives, not moderates, hell, not even those that believed His campaign BS and voted for Him, but have since seen the error of their ways. No, it is His way or the highway. And if He can’t convince you of His objectives the easy way, on one his chosen media outlets, He can always have some of His goons from the SEIU, the UAW or the Chicago mob drop by and tune you up, until you see the light.

You know, kind of like He did to the Congressional Budget Office official that contradicted the costs of His healthcare fantasy. Seems that the CBO economist was just a few trillion off on his estimates on what it would cost to implement the biggest boondoggle in American history. Glad we got that one straightened out before somebody got their nose bent.

The grand vision of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. is that us working class folks will be shackled down with taxes to pay for healthcare for everyone, the “greening” of America and unionization of most of America with enough left over that He and Michele can cavort around the world in Air Force One, with an army of Secret Service and enough support staff to populate a small city, all in the name of progress. Meanwhile, He will showcase America to the rest of the world as the workingman’s paradise.

Of course “They” won’t be driving electric or solar powered cars, those will be reserved for the proletariat. No, Barack and Michele will be sporting SUVs and limos with a compliment fleet of security vehicles flown in on C5s to insure the Leader’s safety. God it’s good to be King.

Well folks, there’s the thumbnail sketch of what we are headed for. See, that wasn’t so hard was it.

Liar, Liar

There’s been a whole lot of controversy over President Obama’s lying, to the point that one Congressman has had his tushy spanked over yelling it in the House of Representatives. Now that’s a hoot, you’re in a building with 435 professional liars, being slapped around for telling the truth. That’s like the pot calling the kettle black. Since when has it been a violation of decorum to stand in Dante’s Inferno and yell FIRE?

Joe Wilson just said what every other person in the House(and working America) was thinking. It’s just that the majority of them are cocked and ready to sell out America in the name of Socialism. And lying about it is just a means to an end. I’ve seen more sincerity at Honest Joe’s Used Car Lot.

And as a result there was a whole lot of gaggle when the President was to speak directly to America’s school children. (As an aside, Obama dropped his plans to have the little “chilluns” send him recommendations on how to get his agendas passed, as an after-school assignment.) Well duh. So all that was left was him telling the little mush heads to stay in school, listen to your teacher, do your homework, work hard and keep your Democrat voting card current. Well, er, uh, maybe not so much the last one. But you get the picture.

Meanwhile, a huge chunk of America’s parents took a pro-active posture. Tell me again should I expose my child to a serial liar? They wouldn’t let them take counsel from anyone else they met, who was exposed as a liar, why the President? Just because he lied his way into the White House doesn’t mean we have to listen him or any other stretcher, bender or dodger of the truth. Let’s face it folks, while Liberals deny it, Obama is a dyed-in-the-wool Socialist/Marxist/Communist, depending which prism you see him through.

He is on the record--on video, in sound and in print--as contradicting himself on many, many, many different issues. From Capitalism, to Liberty, to Defense, he is a living contradiction. So the only question that is left is just how long it will take everyone to figure this out.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

I Don’t Hear You

With all the gnashing, sniveling and ranting about Obama’s policies, proposals and pontificating AGAIN it is what we are NOT hearing that is important. This theme is a recurring one where we are continually bombarded with “red herring” issues to cover up what is really going to happen.

For instance while we were all tuned in to the megalopolis GM and Chrysler bailouts, we completely overlooked the billions siphoned off to the UAW to prop up the fraud and abuse loses of their pension funds. And I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that there have been NO reported audits of these funds to discover where the losses went. But then again taxpayers won’t miss a few billion.

And while we bemoan the squandering of the $787 billion Porkulus Bill, we don’t hear a peep about the systematic siphoning of contracts to Union companies, the entitlement “sinkhole” and corrupt government agencies, also unionized. Nevermind that only 18% of America’s workers are unionized, the remaining 82% have the privilege of supplying the “voluntary income taxes” to pay for it. But Americans won’t miss a few more billion.

But the biggest gorilla in the room is the Obamacare health plan. Now we can’t ignore that NO plan has been put forth, but is rather a compilation of several proposals--none of which has a prayer in either the House or Senate--which have varying verbiage designed to place 1/6th of this nations economy under the control of the U.S. Government. Nevermind that Congress and the President, who will not participate in this “Obomination” because they have their own health plans, will be deciding this for the rest of us.

However, what we are NOT hearing that combined with the existing government employee unions, other organized unions, entitlement junkies, the auto industry and, later to come, control of the energy industry, Washington D.C. would be very close to the magical 51% of America’s voting population. And with that majority, you could be assured that Liberals would be in control of Washington and ergo America for decades to come or until what’s left of America rises up and burns D.C. to the ground.

Double Damn Sorry

The recent demands by House members and subsequent capitulation by Joe Wilson to apologize to the Teller-of-Lies-in-Chief has got me to thinking. Perhaps I have been looking at this all wrong. We all know that politicians are routinely “truthfully“ challenged, so why should now be any different. Time for some perspective.

First I want to apologize to Mr. Obama for ever thinking that he had an honest bone in him. After all, I knew he was from Chicago, a Community Organizer and enabler of ACORN. I knew his best friends were Marxists, Socialists, Communists, mobsters and terrorists. It was foolish of me to lower the bar for this one man, especially since he is such an accomplished liar. In fact, he is the most accomplished liar of our time. Just look at his presidential campaign funding.

So, I want to apologize for ever thinking that he could raise so much money from donors that had no vowels in their names--and in some cases, no consonants--sending multiple maximum donations from cities not registered on any road map within the U.S.. Damn me for forgetting that his campaign machine disabled all safety systems that would have prevented such donations. And double damn me for ever thinking that the FEC would so much as glance at these clearly illegal contributions, even the millions from overseas dictators, narco-terrorists and Muslim fanatics.

Next, it cannot go without notice that “You” were making promises on the campaign trail that only a flaming idiot would make--or the anti Christ--without so much as a sniffle from Main Stream Media. I mean as soon as
“You” told us that America was the greatest nation on Earth and “You” were going to change that, I should have figured “You” out. Me Bad.

I entered the spectatorship of Mr. Obama with a double WOW factor after listening to one of his early campaign speeches in Springfield, Ill.. I truly believed his charisma was on a plane with John F. Kennedy. For that I am profoundly sorry. Kennedy backed up his proclamations with action. Obama backs his up with thugs, oppression, threats and Rahm Immanuel.

No my gullible, na├»ve friends, we have been bamboozled by not the black JFK, but by the Arthur Fonzarelli of Socialism. He has elevated himself to the Emperor of Cool, admired by all those still stuck in the Middle and High school social order. And in this case, it isn’t exactly a good thing.
Pge 2

To his credit, Mr. Wilson’s apology had all the sincerity, honesty and candor as the “canned” acceptance by the Whitehouse. Nothing quite like two shills playing Three Card Monte.

No Mr. President, like an itch with no known cause, I overestimated the intelligence of my fellow man. Who would have ever thought that you could buy votes with easily provable lies, cans of beer and packs of cigarettes, not to mention glittering generalities and vague innuendos.

But like a dog chasing a car, what does the dog do when he catches it. Even the best laid plans have unintended consequences. And it still puzzles me that You had to fly all the way to Minneapolis to speak to 15,000 when you had about a half million in your back yard to sell your plan to.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Monday Morning Quarterbacking

Has anyone but me noticed that in the “Healthcare” debate doctors seemed to have been left out but lawyers have been left in?

And on an unrelated subject, President Obama is going to have a little talk with our children today. Or rather he is going to talk and about half the kids will listen. He will tell them to stay in school, do their homework and pay attention to their teachers. He will emphasize that success isn‘t easy, so they must knuckle down and work hard to be successful.

What he won’t be telling them is that while they are so busy studying diversity, ecology and sexual aberrations, they most likely will graduate not knowing how to balance a checkbook, make change at a McDonalds, or write an understandable, ledgible letter to their Aunt Pookie. But by God they will graduate, come hell or high water.

Most that make it to graduation will not go on to higher education because they cannot fill out the admissions form to even a junior college, nor tell you one of the framers of our Constitution. But they most likely can tell you how many grams are in an “Eightball” and the current street price for a bag of weed.

And no doubt, our high school graduates are well versed on the latest battles in World of Warcraft, the most recent downloads of Mily Cyrus’ Facebook and just how hard it is to get their pants that low without loosing them altogether. But the intricacies of creating a meal beyond microwave Mac and Cheese, doing a load of laundry or actually answering the front door still remains a mystery.

So the new and mostly truncated address to our nations young will now come with a wink, nod and promise to see them later after the feces storm calms down on his first idea of creating Executive Branch homework for those little mush heads who really like the idea of being a hall monitors, family snitches or contestants in dancing with the Brown Shirts.

Porkulus Palooza

Seems we hear a lot about the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act and how it is supposed to “stimulate” our sagging economy. Like we would expect the Act to actually make life better for 90% of the businesses that make our country work. Or won would think, wouldn’t they. But let’s review.

The Act pumps money into:
Extensions of Unemployment Benefits… Social Welfare Programs Education… Healthcare… And, oh yeah, Infrastructure and some Green Energy programs. (Source, Wikipedia) The Act also includes some, ”non-economic recovery related items”, what the hell ever that means. And Congress wonders why their credibility is in the tank.

To translate this for those living in Manhattan, San Francisco and Hollywood, we are taking money FROM 90% of America’s business’s and further rewarding those that couldn’t or wouldn’t find another job after, in some cases, months of not looking for work. It crams more money into entitlements for those who have discovered the virtues of having NO intention of ever being productive again and to pay exorbitant medical bills inflated by trial lawyers bent on sucking every nickel out of the system. And from what I am seeing, the rest will go to Unions(ie: teachers, construction and service employees). Of course a “taste” goes to pay off political contributors who fall under the “non-economic recovery related items”. But I don’t see a whole lot going to the 90% that makes America work.

And unless I miss my guess, there’s less than 1% of this Act going to companies that are non-union, which is 82% of America.

What I see is graft, corruption and cronyism on a level that would make Al Capone blush. And Congress--both sides of the isle--just sit there and either makes or lets it happen without so much as consideration of who is going to pay this bill.

And you can argue a lot of issues around the economic slump, but you cannot argue that the people working to pay for the biggest boondoggle in the history of man had no part in creating or profiting from it.

News at a Glance

Looks like the Chappaquiddick Lion bit the dust. The irony is that he shunned the health care system he proposed for the rest of us (MassHealth) and ran quickly toward a system he was trying to destroy. Neither one could save his sorry butt, but he ran to the one he trusted the most. Looks like God may have had the last vote on Teddy’s ambitions.

The Post Office is crying poor once again. Seems they just can’t raise stamp prices fast enough to satisfy their bloated labor costs. Don’t believe it, ask America just how many of us would happily process and deliver mail for 70% of the labor costs they pay now. You do the math.

So, Obama now says that unemployment and deficits to be far worse than expected. Seems that the shadow of George Bush just keeps haunting the accomplishments and legacy of The Won, while he borrows, spends, borrows and spends some more. Nevermind that the Office of POTUS 44 is larding up the private sector with regulations, taxes and fees, the effect of which is not unlike shackling a bowling ball to Michael Phelps ankle before a competition.

Looks like Charlie Rangel must have had his vision prescriptions renewed because he just found another $780,000 in assets he didn’t know he had. This on top of an offshore resort and other vacation properties and an apartment building in Harlem he forgot about last year. I wanna invite Uncle Charlie to my house so he can find some stuff that I forgot about too.
The man is a gold mine.

Memo to Republican Robo Callers

Memo to the next Republican Robo-Beggar seeking contributions from me:

Dear Sirs, I really respect you for going to bat for Republicans. Your enthusiasm, tenacity and loyalty to a party is admirable, although misguided. Even in the face of reasonable argument you have no reservation to ask me to open my wallet for the “Conservative” party trying to take back the Congress.

Well my cubicle bound, Prozac induced, former Wire-House or Boiler Room robo-caller, you have disturbed my good nature and disrupted my dinner for the last time.

The next time one of you clowns call, here is what you’re gonna get.

You: Hello Mr. Briggs, how are you today?

Me: Fine.

You: Mr. Briggs, can we get your response to a question?

Me: Go for it.

You: Do you think that John Boehner should take over as Speaker of the House?

Me: You’re calling a Conservative and asking a stupid question like that?

You: Well Mr. Briggs, that’s why I’m calling. I want to be assured that you will continue your support for the Republican Party. Can we count on you for a $200 donation?

Me: Well Pilgrim, this is where the rubber meets the road. You see my ill informed, highly motivated, money grubbing leach, Democrats and Republicans-for the past 6 decades- have been party to the biggest boondoggle in American history. Neither of you have been able to lower the national debt by a penny, and instead have been burrowing us into financial oblivion since Franklin Roosevelt.

So let me be clear, both Democrats and Republicans have both taken the helm several times over the past 60 years, yet you each have witnessed our National Debt spiral into stratosphere and beyond. Moreover, as a result of the Roosevelt and Johnson administration’s “New Deal” and “Great Society” programs respectively, with restructuring, expansion and ever increasing adaptations approved by every Congress and Administration from Truman through Bush 43, we have collective, unfunded liabilities in excess of $54 trillion dollars and counting. And you, you ignorant drone, have the temerity to call me and ask for more.

To put this into perspective, each man woman and child owes something north of $800,000 each or we could just give up every dime made in the U.S. for the next 4 ½ years. But that might put a little crimp in tax collections.

I’m sorry Pilgrim, but you need to bone up on your spiel before embarrassing yourself by claiming to be a Conservative. Because any serious Conservative would be apoplectic at this figure, if not suicidal. So you can take your “canned” grovel and share it with someone who hasn’t watched Fox News for say, EVER. Oh, you haven’t seen this on Fox. Well I haven’t either. Probably because that would start a revolution, wouldn’t it?

So now that I have brightened your day, you can get off my phone, so I can enjoy what’s left of my cold dinner. Click.
The Dumbplumber

Monday, August 24, 2009

Obama Land Health Care for the Deluded

Now don’tcha just hate it when someone says you’re lying? I bet Obama hates it too, but you can’t tell it by the way he keeps on doing it.

For instance, Obama looks right into the camera and at the crowds and tells us that, “If you want to keep your private insurance you can”. What he doesn’t say is that under a Single Payer Plan--where the Government controls your insurance--private insurance companies will go the way of the dinosaurs, leaving the Gov’ment as the masses only healthcare source.

Now this isn’t brain surgery folks. If the government offers a lower priced plan, employers everywhere will opt out for that plan, because it will be reflected on their bottom lines. Duh. So, if there are no other plans as a result of nationwide insurance company bankruptcies, well I guess you will just have to buy into Obamacare. See, that isn’t so hard to understand, is it?

The irony is, is that all those Liberal mouthpieces spouting the Obamacare TODAY will eventually be schlepped over from their Cadillac plans TOMORROW and will be waiting in line with the rest of us schmucks for doctors appointments. Not a well thought out strategy, especially if you happen to be a 60 year old Liberal that needs new knees or hips.

The first Zippy-in-chief also says you get to keep your own doctor. Okaaaaay. Well if your doctor is used to the good life in the heavy six or seven figure income bracket, he might just open a new office in the Caymans or Belize, where he can cater to his other six and seven income patients in a Medical Tourism practice. Or he may open a Consierge Practice, where he accepts only cash, then haul it to a Cayman bank to keep the government’s greedy paws off it.

No matter what, the rich are NOT going to stand in line with the rest of us. They are going to go about their business, not because of the government, but in spite of it. And the Dumbplumber predicts that there will be an epidemic of “cash and creative banking” programs sprouting up across America. Welcome to Obama Land.

Whistling Past the Graveyard

So, all the business gurus are chiming in on the end of the recession and how good times are just around the corner. Yeah right!

Let’s review. Liberals, Environmentalists, Congressional Nutbags and Labor Unions have spent decades heaping regulations, taxes, administrative hurdles and punitive pay and benefit packages on America’s business community. To the extent that all it took was a little bump in the road to derail the U.S. economy, sending the world economy into a tailspin.

Banks were taken over. Major retailers closed. Manufacturers that survived either went overseas or were downsized here. And those that remain face an explosion of higher fees, higher energy costs and more regulation. But somewhere in this pile of road apples must be a pony, because all the business talking heads are buying into ponypoop.

Enter the Dumbplumber. Time to pull the plug on this rosy scenario. With Obama poised to foist a mandatory healthcare plan, knee-cap and tax to increase energy costs and dangling the “Porkulus” billions at potential union recruits, there is little “Hope” that things are going to “Change” for the better any time soon. In fact, as the crystal ball gazers at Wall and Broad see more and more resistance to Zippy’s busy schedule, the market reacts positively.

Don’t believe it? Just see what happens when one of these socialist policies actually passes Congress. The market will drop faster than Monica did to her knees in the Oval Office. But take heart.

If the Democrats use the “nuclear” option on Obamacare, Knee Cap and Tax or Cardcheck, they will pay and pay dearly come November 2010. You see, America has awaken to the doubletalking, backstabbing weasels that are dismantling our country. In fact, I firmly believe many if not all, Democrats--and some Repubs--who have sign on to the socialist agenda will be via condios come the midterms.

As per Michael Steele: “use the nuclear option at your peril“.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Stop the Madness Train

The Dumbplumber has to stop this train for a moment. Time for some perspective, sober analysis and correction of the record.

First of all, disagreeing with the president is not “racist”. Questioning the First Lady’s attire is not “sexist”. And protesting against Madam Pelosi, Senior Reid or Vice Dummy Biden is not “un-American“. And people who show up to disagree with Congress are not “terrorists”, no matter what Liberals say.

How I know this is that when I disagree with the President, it’s because he is a community organizer and not a leader. Aside from nominating Sotomayor to the high court, he hasn’t done anything to lead since taking office. World tours apologizing for America’s greatness is not leading. Bailing out Citibank, the UAW and ACORN is not leading. And most of all, spending money that we don’t have is NOT leading, it is buying votes.

When someone says that the First Lady’s ass is big, it’s a fact, not sexist. She has a hottentot butt and an Attilla the Hun attitude. Get over it. Her choice of clothing looks more like she’s going to a square dance or yard sale in the Castro District or Hollywood than representing the U.S. to the rest of the world. And with a personal entourage costing taxpayers over a million bucks a year, you would think someone would be on the payroll that would tell her, her ass is two ax handles wide.

I know that I’m not un-American because Senora Pelosi said so, in 2003. It has been only since her head on collision with what’s left of common sense and self preservation that she has discovered the “un-Americans”.

As for Congressional leaders claiming that “terrorists” are attending town halls and tea parties, just wait until they use the “nuclear option” to put America into the new stone age. THEN they will be terrorists.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Obama's Demise

Now there’s a lot of conversation going on about Republicans or Conservatives that want to see Obama dead. Of course that’s blasphemous,, twisted, perverted and categorically untrue. A true Conservative does not want to see Obama dead. They want to see him suffer immeasurable pain, then what he does to himself is His business.

Personally, I want to see the Big Zero curled up, in the fetal position, on the front porch of the Half-White Outhouse, sucking his thumb and drooling Tapioca, with Joe Biden close by in a rocker humming bars to “If I only had a brain”. This scene wouldn’t be complete without Harry Reid wandering about in Barney Frank’s black bra and fishnet stockings, while David Axelrod dry humps Rahm Immanuel’s leg, who is being swatted by the Bad Witch, Nancy Pelosi, who is looking for her ruby slippers.

Of course the Congressional Black Caucus is in the background, belting out Judy Garland’s Over the Rainbow, while Steny Hoyer and Chris Dodd are dancing down the Yellow Brick Road calling for Ted Kennedy, the whining, cowardly Lion.

Call this exercise sick, kinky and outrageous, you know like our leadership today. Ladies and gentlemen, not unlike Elvis and The Lollipop Guild, common sense and patriotic duty have left the building and they are unlikely to return any time soon.

So wishing the president dead is an exercise in futility. Look at what’s next, Joe Biden!--then Nancy Pelosi! For Christ’s sake, there’s an insurance policy you will never see in the private sector. And all it’s cost us is our future. There are no saviors in the pile of Steaming Feces that is our U.S. Congress, not one.

No folks, what we have are two parties that have, since Franklin Roosevelt, systematically sold the soul and future of America to the lowest of denominators, political expediency. You see the goal of the Steaming Pile was never our peace, welfare and security, but theirs. And given the accepted policy of mutual political destruction that Washington subscribes to these days, there may be only one Wizard out there. But she isn‘t foolish enough to lift her Cammo skirt to reveal the Ruby Slippers.

Palin Punching

I have just about had it with the bashing of Sarah Palin. Here is a gal that thought she was doing a patriotic thing by helping John McCain run for President. Boy, was that a bad call. She no more than stepped off the chartered jet in Canton, Ohio and the Palin meat grinder went into action.

But it wasn’t bad enough that Liberals were in full bashing mode, the Conservatives had their own. Perhaps it was the sweat dripping fear that she was about to put some more Republicans in jail. This time in Washington D.C.. No fear. No reservations. No kidding. The Democrats haven’t cornered the market on graft, corruption and fraud. Not yet at least.

But since the election, the Palin hate mill has been put into overdrive. And not just by the Liberals. The elite Republican good-ole-boys club has no use for a slash and burn, reform minded, clean up the hill and drain the swamp political reformist. Remember, this is all about business as usual.

And the sweet irony is that the Republican begging-for-cash machine is all in high gear to profit from the Palin passionate Conservative base. When they call, every other word is “conservative” and stop the Liberals. And they fully embrace the words Sarah Palin.

And I can’t say enough about those that contend that Sarah isn’t qualified to be President. Like hey, she knows how many letters are in j-o-b-s and it ain’t three. She knows that Justice Stevens swore Joe Biden into office, not Justice Stewart. She knows that web sites are made up of words not numbers. And she knows that Roosevelt went on Radio, not television, after the Stock Market crash of 1929 to calm America. And the sweet irony is, is that if Sarah Palin had said all of these things, she would be featured on the nightly news, every night, leading the daily news. Nevermind the comedy shows and late night meat grinders hammering home her gaffes.

No folks, the double standard is alive and well in Washington, New York and Los Angeles. And no matter how you slice it, they don’t want to even think of President Sarah Palin. However, it doesn’t seem they mind President Joe Biden or President Nancy Pelosi. As leaders of the free world.

Woah Nellie!

Hold on Nellie
Ok, time for a reality check. El Presidente promised during the campaign that “there would be, no increase in ANY taxes for those making less than $250k per year”. What he didn’t tell us was he was lying through his teeth when he said it. Of course he didn’t tell us that he was going to surround himself with confessed criminals, pretentious bigots and avowed socialists either, not to mention also-rans from “Dancing with the Stars.

Because after hocking our great, great, great grandchildren’s future with the Porkulus Bill, hundreds of billions to bailout banks that got us here in the first place, many more billions to bailout the auto industry, then another $6.5 billion to shore up the UAW pension fund--but not another penny for any other pension fund-- then more billions to aid the auto industry with “Cash for Clunkers”, not to mention $700 million to shore up a bank in New Zealand. Jesus, can’t you spend enough here?

And now with Obamacare and “Knee-Cap and Tax” simmering on the front burner to knock the props from under the “Job Engine” of America (small business), the Lawn Jockey-in-Chief has told his overpaid minions to get out there and pitch the idea of tax increases to pay off the deficit. Whoa Nellie, did I hear all this right. Obama goes on a spending binge unparalleled in history, then decides that he needs TO PAY DOWN THE DEFICIT! No shit Sherlock.

Hey Barack, here’s an idea. Unwind all your obscene giveaway programs; get Government and the Taxman off Business’s back; tell malpractice attorneys that their ‘gravy train’ has left the tracks; bring on nuclear power; and drill as if your life depends upon it. And as Chief Law Enforcement Officer, you should arrest Barney Frank and Chris Dodd for treason; deny any more Botox and support bras for Nancy Pelosi--gravity will do the rest. And last but not least, inform Congress that the party is over. If you don’t get out your VETO pen and start using it soon, someone is going to do to your head what the Great Gallagher does to his watermelons.

Listen you insufferable stooge. Your curtain has been pulled back. You have been exposed for the aspiring socialist that you are. Get out while the getting is good, OR suffer the inevitable consequences

Arnold and Dredging

From a letter to the Editor of the Opinion Page at the local fish wrap questioning the recent signing of a new law in California banning gold dredging in Northern California streams:

Hey Bruce, I need a teachable moment. Please explain to me the logical thought process used by Schwarzenegger before he signed the recent law to ban suction dredging on California’s streams. But before you do, please allow me to interject some observations from the Dumbplumber.

Environmentalists, biologists and Indian tribes are all about the silt disturbed during mining operations, as being destructive to spawning beds and polluting clear streams. However, nobody seems to mind it when every winter storm runoff turns the streams into virtual mud pits for days or weeks at a time. What, do they think that trout take a Hawaii vacation during the winter and spring storms? And about those spawning beds, how does everyone think they were created in the first place?

Having grown up around live streams during my youth, I witnessed every sort of transformation of my fishing grounds, almost every year, but in late spring there were always fish to catch and eat. You see we didn’t torture our fish like they do today with “catch and release”. We ate what we caught.

Nevermind the ranting drivel from environmentalists, there is more silt introduced to Northern California streams in one hour of runoff during rainy season than in an entire year of dredging. Besides, if they were so concerned with spawning, why don’t they just put a moratorium on dredging during a few weeks of spawning season instead of shutting an entire hobby down until some overpaid, product of our education system makes an ass of himself producing a document bent toward the howling masses he is hired to console?

No Bruce, this isn’t about pollution. It isn’t about the health of stream fish or their offspring. It isn’t about maintaining a pristine streambed. It’s about control. Control of a hobby that has become a cottage industry to those with enough guts and fortitude to engage in a risky but rewarding economic venture. It’s about either shutting down this practice altogether or figuring out a way to wring out fines, fees, taxes or permit revenue to bolster an economy that is failing due to fines, fees, taxes and permit revenues. It’s government involving themselves in an industry party that they weren’t invited to. All in the name of safety, ecology and bureaucratic control.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Whitehouse Wood Shed

Obama’s recent invite of Officer Crowley and Professor Henry Gates to the Whitehouse for a cold beer and some conversation, was probably the first logical, reasonable and ethical decision Barack has made since taking office. And while he was doing it for purely political reasons--like this blunder is killing me in the polls--it was still the first mano-a-mano moment since Jan. 26th, even though it was for all the wrong reasons.

Well why stop doing the right thing for the wrong reasons? How about we start doing the right thing for the right reasons?

For instance, why doesn’t Barack invite the head of the Indiana Teachers Pension Fund in to have a little chat with Turbo Tax Timmy Geithner about their getting the shaft when their investment in GM was ignored and they lost $6 million bucks in the “Prepackaged” GM Bankruptcy. Now I know that Six Very Large is small potatoes to a guy like Timmy, so we can step up and bring in the several billion denied thousands of bondholders shafted by this administration like operators at an elevator convention.

Or we could bring in Ron “Middlefinger” to explain why the UAW is going to receive about $6.5 billion from EVERY taxpayer to prop up his shortfall in the UAW Pension fund-- that everyone know is just a big piggy bank for the Mob--when only .0001percent of America is a member of the United Auto Workers. Or better yet, we could invite in a few dozen other Pension fund managers to get told why they didn’t receive a bailout as well.

We might as well bring in the American Bar Association to explain why it is that they are the biggest drain on the American Medical Industry, but aren’t even in the running for cuts to their income, which is reported to be somewhere north of $500 billion per year.

Oh hell yeah. Barack better get in touch with a few breweries if he plans on dragging in every offended, wrongly maligned and innocent victim of his grand schemes for a little chat and a beer. You ask the Dumbplumber, there isn’t enough beer in America for this bash.

Friday, July 24, 2009

An Inconvenient Confusion

It never ceases to amaze me when politicians get their knickers in a wad trying to explain why solutions to problems are so very difficult because the problems are “complicated”. I disagree. Problems are only made “complicated” when ingredients to the problem’s recipe are made up of supporters or potential voters for the confounded politician. Memo to the “confused” elected leaders: The answers are simple, do the right thing. Stop CYA and you will be better for it.

Take healthcare for instance. The Pols are pixilated with how to pay for the NEW Healthcare Plan. To tax millionaires only or to lower the bar to $250,000 household incomes. The rest would come from the “savings from the yet to be described smoke and mirror disco moves” that will generate billions in savings.

Funny how we never look at the most costly drains on our problems before we start nibbling away at the taxpayers, who have contributed nothing to the problem. For instance trial lawyers take home some $500 billion annually in malpractice settlements and awards. Yes, that’s half a trillion for those of you already wondering what comes after a trillion.

Well, you would think that we--a rhetorical reference to our elected leaders--should be taking a look at why this piracy is allowed to continue. Also, waste, fraud and corruption accounts for about $50 billion annually, but you don’t hear any clarion calls for tougher penalties or focused efforts to nip that problem in the bud. But Nooooo. We just keep looking for more income instead of staunching the outgo.

Yes folks, as long as our elected officials are “confused” we will continue down the toilet bowl. Unfortunately, society is so busy debasing those with the simple answers-- because they hunt moose and fish with nets-- America will continue the march to a dismal destiny.

Obama Destroying the Constitution

The Dumbplumber finds inspiration in strange places. So it was just a few days ago that he read that healthcare demands in Utah are far lower than other parts of the country. Gee, whoda thunk it?

Let’s review:

A Utah has a large population of Mormons,

B Mormons, for the most part, don’t drink alcohol; don’t smoke; don’t do drugs; don’t eat to excess; don’t consume junk food, soft drinks and many are vegetarians.

C Mormons tend to family life instead of a wild and crazy single life. They are often active in sports, civic activities and recreation. They take care of their own instead of relying upon public financed handouts, programs or entitlements.

D Mormons, for the most part, are very self reliant, industrious, and hard working.

And they don’t tend to fight, but if Obama tries to shove his Obamacare down their throats, they will fight to the end. They have every right to resist a “one size fits all” federal penalty, when their healthcare costs are a fraction of the rest of the nation.

So there you have it. Besides the Muslims--who believe that insurance is a form of gambling, the Christian Scientists--who believe that God will heal them and now the Mormons--who will be penalized for staying healthy, there are probably millions more reasons that this Plan is a farce and unconstitutional on its face.

But in this day and age--as compared to 7 months ago--we will probably have this travesty pressed upon us and enforced with the threat of arrest, fines and incarceration. God, it sucks to be us.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

California: Eureka, I have Found It

Eureka, I have figured it out! It wasn’t easy though. I, quite by accident, shot off my mouth, when ANOTHER Republican fund raising robo-caller
darkened my phone line. He went into his prepared script, spouting conservatism, calling for a halt to the Democrat scourge, decrying the Obama machine, begging for anti-Liberal dollars, groveling to stop the madness in Sacramento.

That’s when it hit me. I told my new robo-friend, “Screw em, bankrupt the sucker, start over“. “Oooooh noooo“, says my new friend “We can’t let that happen“.

“Why the hell not“, says me. “We could start over, rewriting every contract we have in the state. Renegotiate every entitlement obligation, every lease, bring down every retirement package that is in the stratosphere, reign back every union pay and benefit package into low orbit, negate every idiotic environmental provision that has halted business in California“. We could stop the lunacy and kickstart California back into the right direction. Because the direction we have been going for the last 20 years or so is straight down.

Bankruptcy isn’t just an option, it is the only option for our success. And here is the kicker. Obama has just opened the door for this option, with the bankruptcy of GM and Chrysler. A prepackaged option that would keep the doors open while we burn a few creditors, suppliers and employees for the common good. Nothing would stop this dead bang winner, but the lack of will to do it. Whodathunkit?

Yes my friends, If we bankrupted California today, we could be seeing green tomorrow. If it was good enough for GM, it’s good enough for us. They say you can eat an elephant if you take one bite at a time. But you can’t save California by nibbling around the edges. You need to cut off the rotting tumor with one fell swoop, then begin the healing.

Sunday, July 05, 2009

Sarah, Say it ain’t So

Now, wait-a-hold-it a minute. Sarah Palin announces that she is stepping down as Alaska’s governor and the media goes bonkers. Political wonks on both sides of the isle quickly abandon HER prepared and carefully crafted remarks to speculate on her TRUE intentions. And one lonely serial complainer in Alaska is now out of a job, having spent much of the last year filing numerous, but baseless, ethics complaints, which all have found to be frivolous.

No folks, Sarah is doing the only thing a smart political operative can do, stop wasting Alaska’s money (and tell them so), step back take a deep breath and give the American electorate a swift kick right in the ass. Like Sarah said, “No more business as usual”.

Her prepared statement is cited here- But it hasn’t prevented the talking heads of proposing everything from her political obituary to a move for a presidential run in 2012.

I read the whole statement and it spells doom to many old style, hose the public, tax and spend, backroom dealing, business as usual professional politicians. But instead of offering up a reasonable explanation based upon her statement, as I write Cable News has scrambled their 1st stingers back from an early July 4th getaway, to grind out the reason’s de jour. Nevermind that her stated reasons are far more serious and dangerous to would-be political hacks than anything speculated so far.

No folks, Sarah figured out early on, what the rest of us should have figured out today. She doesn’t want Alaska to squander any more of their money fighting with uber-Liberals paid to destroy her at any cost, while she can make more money in two weekends making speeches(think $100k per Clinton sputum) than she can make all year as Governor. And, and this is a big “and”, she can do this while flying all over the U.S.--not just Moose Jaw, Alaska--selling her vision of Conservative America.

A vision, I might add, that might just be the savior of the Greatest Country

Monday, June 29, 2009

So, What’s Next

Well, let’s review:

A. Obama hires a tax cheat to oversee the IRS.

B. Obama gets $790 billion bucks for “shovel ready” projects, then spends the first $40 billion extending unemployment payments, padding union contracts, hiring tens of thousands of government workers and giving hundreds of millions to ACORN.

C. Obama triples the Federal Deficit by increasing government payrolls, giving raises and bonuses to federal lackeys, and extending more unemployment benefits-- many to those who haven’t worked or even looked for work for years-- and shoring up failing State budgets.

D. Obama saves the auto industry, which is mostly bankrupt as a result of pay and benefit packages for the UAW, then let’s GM and Chrysler go thru “accommodating bankruptcies”, where bondholders, creditors and stockholders are kicked to the curb, but the UAW is handed $10 billion (of mostly non-union taxes) to shore up their $100 billion dollar pension fund (which hasn’t been audited since Grover Cleveland was president) and 30% of a the “new” GM and Chrysler, which they will continue to fly into the ground. But now, they will be subsidized until the cows come home.

E. Obama forces the sale of Hummer to the Chinese, because Hummer is a major cause of global warming and they consume just too much of the globes oil, but China isn’t part of the globe or global warming. Sends quite a message….NO?

F. And last but not least, China is our biggest creditor (that means they loan us money) because they got filthy rich providing us products made in sweat shops, by prison inmates or in factories billowing smog that floats around the world, while we have run off our industrial base because of smog, labor laws and hyper regulation. But it’s ok to borrow that dirty ole money from them…NO?

You try to make sense out of this. I give up.

Ode to Jacko

They say we lost the King of Pop. Now mind you, they didn’t say we lost a music writing legend, a song and dance maestro, a famous entertainer or even world-class artist. To do that would be an insult to first rate Rock and Roll song writers like Buddy Holly, John Lennon or Roy Orbison; to song and dance legends like Gene Kelly, Sammy Davis Jr. or Fred Astaire; or artists and world class entertainers like The Beatles, Rolling Stones or The Who.

No, The King of Pop was a “generational” icon, known more for his idiosyncrasies, irrational behavior and penchant for scalpels. He meant something to those born after 1960 and before 1980. And while like his talented predecessors Jacko could write and perform his own music and dance routines, he couldn’t complete a crossword puzzle, change the oil in his car or have a conversation about current events. He was at once a man of the world, even though it was his own world.

Michael existed in a bubble of his own making. And it was crowded in there, because he could do little for himself; no cooking, no cleaning, no white glove making. It is doubtful that he could tie his own shoes. But hey, when you’re Michael Jackson you don’t have to. You have people to do that, lots of people.

Let’s face it folks, Michael Jackson was a living train wreck. His eccentricities, flamboyant lifestyle and outrageous persona was not to be missed. His transformation from cute little black boy to ugly old white woman was a thing to behold. You couldn’t take your eyes off him, even when the strobe lights and camera angles were manipulated just to give you glimpses of his latest nips and tucks.

And if he ever eclipsed his own persona, it was when he died. His death in the same week as Ed McMahon and the same day as Farrah Faucett was a tragedy. He would never to be more beautiful than Farrah or funny and articulate as Ed, so he just grabbed his crotch, slammed some dope and with one last pelvic thrust dropped the curtain on two true television icons.

The Dumbplumber and Healthcare

Well Pilgrims, perhaps it’s time for the Dumbplumber to weigh in on this whole healthcare issue. Now I don’t mean the “care” part, but rather the “paying for it” part, since that is what is drawing all the fire.

In the interest of full disclosure, the Dumbplumber has NO health insurance. A onetime prescription for Lipitor ended that dream. That being said, it puts the Dumbplumber in the perfect position to recommend reforms, since he now has the privilege of paying for everyone else’s care, but not his own.

So if the Dumbplumber had a dog in this fight, these would be his edicts, to lower the cost of public funded healthcare:

A) I had it confirmed that we could save about 1/3 on our public healthcare costs if Americans would: stop smoking(I’m not for paying for the care of someone too stupid to read the label on a pack of cigarettes), drink alcohol only in moderation, eat right, exercise and cease doing illegal drugs.

B) Another big chunk could be saved by getting attorneys out of the healthcare equation. From Band Aids to Brain surgery, lawyers are a huge financial drain on healthcare. And much of it is excessive if not an abuse of the legal system. Cap punitive awards and make losing parties pay costs.

C) No more taxpayer funded abortions, except for incest and rape. Let abortion sympathizers set up organizations to subsidize the procedures. If you get pregnant, with all the free birth control available, you’re too stupid to raise a child anyway. Put the child up for adoption.

D) No more public liability for AIDS treatment, unless it was contracted by transfusion. If you chose risky sexual behavior, pay for it yourself.

And if it isn’t obvious enough, let the government straighten out Medicare and Medicaid first, then they can go to work on universal healthcare

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Obama and Hilter The Early Years

Well minions, I’ve gone and done it again. Seems that I have again offended the tender sensitivities of Bruce Ross, an editor at the local paper.  What I did that was so offensive was to make the claim that Barack Obama was akin to Adolf Hitler in the “early years”. To which Bruce responded,
“I'm sorry, but the comparison of Obama and Hitler is so laughable that I really have no adequate response“.

So, just being the Dumbplumber and not being a highly educated, clever and all knowing editor of the  Editorial page, I had to do what all knuckle dragging, beer swilling critics of smart people do, I Googled Hitler-early-years.

Gee, whoodathunkit. Here is a montage of thoughts, beliefs and policies adopted, developed and proclaimed by Adolf, before he was der Fuhrer from multiple sources on the Internet that anyone can Google for themselves.

And to make my point more memorable and poignant, I have added italicized inserts for effect and removed the unsavory references to Adolf’s hatred of Jews--which in the case of Barack Hussein Obama, the jury is still out.

German Worker's Party
Soon after the war in Munich, Hitler was recruited to join a military intelligence unit, and was assigned to keep tabs on the German Worker's Party. At the time, it was comprised of only a handful of members. It was disorganized and had no program, but its members expressed a doctrine consistant with Hitler's. (think ACORN)

He saw this party as a vehicle to reach his political ends. His blossoming hatred of the Jews (think capitalists) became part of the organization's political platform. Hitler built up the party, converting it from a de facto discussion group (think whining losers) to an actual political party (think rabid entitlement junkies). Advertising for the party's meetings appeared in anti-Semitic newspapers (think ACORN FLIERS). The turning point of Hitler's mesmerizing oratorical career occurred at one such meeting held on October 16, 1919. Hitler's emotional delivery of an impromptu speech captivated his audience. Through word of mouth, donations poured into the party's coffers, and subsequent mass meetings attracted hundreds of Germans eager to hear the young, forceful and hypnotic leader. (and all this without a teleprompter and Rahm Emmanuel whispering in his ear)

Attitude of Big Business
There is little evidence to support the view that Hitler received substantial financial support from big business. The conservative upper classes generally regarded Hitler as an uneducated demagogue and gutter politician. (well, they know Barack better than I)
While in prison, he wrote the first volume of Mein Kampf. It was partly an autobiographical book (although filled with glorified inaccuracies, self-serving half-truths and outright revisionism) (think Dreams of my Father)which also detailed his views on the future of the German people. (Think Americans in harness)

Upon the death of Hindenburg in August 1934, Hitler was the consensus successor. With an improving economy, Hitler claimed credit and consolidated his position as a dictator, having succeeded in eliminating challenges from other political parties and government institutions. (which he has driven over with Harry and Nancy)

Nazi Supporters
The Nazis won their support primarily from the lower middle class and the peasantry. These voters were strongly nationalistic in their political views and feared that the depression would deprive them of their standard of living.

Most of Germany's industrial workers continued to vote for the Social Democrats, which remained the largest party

Remember, Hitler lived in Vienna for several years, working at odd jobs and absorbing the ideas of Austrian extremists (think Saul Alinsky, Bill Ayers, Reverend Wright). In 1913, he left Vienna and moved to Munich in southern Germany. He took with him the basic political ideas to which he would remain committed for the balance of his life.

“We are socialists, we are enemies of today's capitalistic economic system for the exploitation of the economically weak, with its unfair salaries, with its unseemly evaluation of a human beings according to wealth and property instead of responsibility and performance, and we are all determined to destroy this system under all conditions.”
Adolph Hitler

Adolph Hitler, 1931:What matters is to emphasize the fundamental idea in my party's economic program clearly -- the idea of authority. I want the authority; I want everyone to keep the property he has acquired for himself according to the principle: benefit to the community precedes benefit to the individual. But the state should retain supervision and each property owner should consider himself appointed by the state. It is his duty not to use his property against the interests of others among his own people. This is the crucial matter. The Third Reich (think Obama administration) will always retain its right to control the owners of property.

John Ray:
He [Hitler] championed the rights of workers, regarded capitalist society as brutal and unjust, and sought a third way between communism and the free market. In this regard, he and his associates greatly admired the strong steps taken by President Franklin Roosevelt's New Deal to take large-scale economic decision-making out of private hands and put it into those of government planning agencies. His aim was to institute a brand of socialism that avoided the inefficiencies that plagued the Soviet variety, and many former communists found his program highly congenial. (think Fascism)

And while Hitler did not nationalize all industry, there was extensive compulsory reorganization of it and tight party control over it. It might be noted that even in the post-war Communist bloc there was never total nationalization of industry. In fact, in Poland, most agriculture always remained in private hands. (it’s so damn hard to unionize farm workers)
This policy is broadly similar to the once much acclaimed Swedish model of socialism in more recent times, so it is amusing that it has often been this policy which has underpinned the common claim that Hitler was Rightist. What is Leftist in Sweden was apparently Rightist in Hitler!

John Ray:

But surely Hitler was at least like US conservatives in being a "gun nut"? Far from it. Weimar (pre-Hitler) Germany did have restrictions on private ownership of firearms but the Nazis introduced even further restrictions when they came to power. The Nazi Weapons Law, which restricted the possession of militarily useful weapons and forbade trade in weapons without a government-issued license, was passed by the Reichstag on March 18, 1938.

Well, there you have it. If I am wrong about my assertions, strike me down with a Whiffle Bat. If I can’t compare Obama to Hitler in his “early years” then pray tell who in the hell can I compare him to?

Saturday, June 13, 2009

A is for Anarchy

Everybody knows it had to happen eventually. They fought it, they feared it they did everything they could to avoid it. But in the end, they were it.

Anarchy my friends. Remember it. But before you get all up in arms about the use of the dreaded “A” word. Perhaps we should take a closer look.

By definition Anarchy is: “lawlessness and absence of government“. And it has “chaos, confusion, disorder and disorganization” as synonyms(for you folks in Redding, that is “like” meanings). It also means “hostility, disregard, mob rule, rebellion, turmoil and unrest, which pretty much describes what is going on right now in Washington, D.C..

So by definition, I don’t think it is much of a stretch to argue that we already have Anarchy, just nobody is doing anything about it. Certainly not the Executive Branch, who is pretty much rewriting “settled” law-- on their way to Socialism, the Justice Department, who is enforcing offenses they pick with a Ouija Board back in Chicago, nor the Supreme Court who are so busy shredding the Constitution, they don’t have time to be bothered with the unraveling of America.

In fact, the irony of all this is the antonyms of “Anarchy”: lawfulness, order and rule are the very opposite of what we are witnessing now on Pennsylvania Avenue.

So the moment we see some politicians heads explode like watermelons at a Gallagher show, you might just have to smile and wonder if all that “lawfulness, order and rule“, might be just around the corner. Then authorities, with cooler heads, can round up all the usual suspects in an ongoing investigation, while representatives ponder their allegiances.

Politicians may not understand what they are doing to this country, but they do understand fear. At least we won’t have to wait and wonder if “Order” will ever happen at the ballot box. I think about 5 or 6 well placed rounds ought to do it.

The Things We Don’t Hear

In the cacophony of today’s living, we have no shortage of machines, monitors, alarms and alarmists telling us what to do, how to do it and what we did wrong, when we did it. Amongst the carnival barkers blathering on about America’s stampede to the edge of oblivion are the politicians, pollsters, pundits and political analysts yammering endlessly about the woes and wantings of our society.

But in this din of noise, what we are NOT hearing is deafening.

On health care: We don’t hear a peep about the affects of trial lawyers on every aspect of costs from Band Aids to brain surgery. Medical malpractice has become a staple of the legal snakepit, to the point that television solicitation of clients has become a cottage industry. Additionally, waste, fraud and corruption has plagued Medicare, Medicaid and MediCal, but we don’t hear a peep about fighting IT, before asking for more.

On California’s budget woes: We hear an awful lot about cutting services and increasing taxes but not a peep about the spending that got us here: Unsustainable pay and benefit packages for public employees, carte blanche health insurance for illegal aliens, prisoners and welfare cases with self inflicted illnesses.

The State wonders why revenues are down but is silent on their shutting down access to natural resources (ie: timber, mining and oil) while driving manufacturing out of state with redundant regulations, abusive taxes and environmental restrictions.

Memo to Arnold: It’s starting to look like neither you or Barack get it. Both of you are buck naked before an electorate, who knows what you both are all about. But poor Obama can’t get his pants on with your lips vapor locked on his ass.

The Palin Invasion

Nothing can stir up the Liberals like Sarah Palin. I mean, she drops down to the lower 48 to support a charitable cause and the main stream media just goes nuts. They document every hair out of place, every shoe change and any slight is translated into a potential gaffe. She takes in a baseball game with Rudy and David Letterman makes a sick, perverted joke about her daughter. She goes to a fundraising dinner, where she doesn’t speak, and it is a major event, because she didn’t speak. Heaven knows what would have happened had she farted while reaching for the Onion Dip.

Then to back up the MSM’s News block, the afternoon political goobers ramp up the rhetoric. Chris Matthews, Keith Olberman, Rachael Maddow and the lesser hangers on, then spin this into a major political invasion by the moose skinning governor of Alaska. Nevermind that she has approval ratings higher than Bill O’Reilly (who has numbers higher than all these whining boobs combined). I mean these stooges are really out of their league.

Of course what we are seeing here is the run up to the 2010 and 2012 elections. The fear on the Left is palpable. They are oozing fear in the only way they can, by making fun of the most approved of politician in our nation….a republican with lipstick. So if you can spin that into logic, make my day.

I would submit that Sarah would be dissected and skewered if she were to read the Bill of Rights, the Lord’s Prayer or The Gettysburg Address. It is just what Liberals do. They react like a cornered rat in a crack house, when anything resembling common sense crosses their path. Sarah isn’t just the 800 lb. gorilla in the room, she’s a gorilla in high heals with approval ratings beyond anything dreamt of in the U.S. Congress. Yes, even higher than the Anointed One.

So while the Liberals bask in poking fun at the only person qualified to walk America out of the hole she is in, Sarah is grinning from ear to ear for the blatant overexposure by those too stupid to see that she is the leader of not only the lowest taxed state of the Union, but the only state to return money to its citizens every year.

Two Frogs

I’m not one to mix metaphors, but this may just be one of those times when you need to drag out every metaphor there is to make your point. You see something is happening to America, but those who are trying to warn us, just aren’t getting the job done. We just keep turning Left.

For instance, yesterday morning Joe Scarborough on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” said something that got me to thinking. His point was that America is so politically polarized that citizens either can’t or won’t talk to each other about politics without serious acrimony--for those of you that worship Chris Matthews, Rachael Maddow and Keith Olberman, that means bitterness, animosity and crankiness--and it is tearing America apart. He went on to eloquently explain that it is necessary to find middle or common ground with those that you disagree with politically, so you can have civil debate and cordial discourse, allowing you to make your case in a calm, affable and direct manner.

Well, Joe had his 2 minutes to make his case. Now I get 1 to make mine. Joe, you’re full of very gracious crap.

Take a piece of paper and on it draw a horizontal line. Then measure the middle of the line and put a mark on it. Now take a glass vase and place it in the center. Now put 50 red marbles (republicans) and 50 blue marbles (Liberals) in the vase. If you take out a red marble and replace it with a blue one, move it a little to the Left to represent a shift to a socialist program--think Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, MediCal, Welfare, Assistance to illegal aliens, Viagra for prisoners, public financed abortions, yada, yada.

Then, after you have replaced a few red balls with blue, you go the other way and start replacing blue with red. But --just as with America--when you replace the blue with red, the vase doesn’t move back and neither does America. It only moves left with more blue and never moves at all when replaced by red. It just sits there, just like our Congress and just like Joe Scarborough.

On the other hand, you can look at it like two frogs in a pot of water on the stove, which is Socialism. One frog, a Republican, says to the other frog, a Democrat, “do you smell something burning?”

Monday, June 08, 2009

Our Puff of Smoke

I’ve often alleged that The Poser-in-Chief is nothing more than a puff of smoke. Well, that may be a little inaccurate. He is a narcissistic, self-absorbed, self-aggrandizing, socialist with a Fonzi complex and a big toothy grin. So, if the Lawn Jockey-in-Chief ever gets hit with a bolt of lightning, all you will find will be a set of smiley teeth exhaling that last drag off his Marlboro.

You see, there is nothing else there. Or as they say, “There is no there, there“. This guy is just playing President, not being one. And what his “base” is slowly learning is that there appears to be nothing he is really good at, but grandiose schemes, empty platitudes and mass disappointment.

For instance, he has thrown everything but the kitchen sink at the economy, but it still deteriorates. About the only good economic news is that the deterioration is slowing. Well, in case you didn’t know it, the last sand through the hour glass is slower too.

The auto industry: We now own GM and have given away Chrysler, by paying Fiat to take it. The only winner in those deals is the UAW, which is taking billions in taxes to pad their landing. Nice to know that most of their retirees will spend their golden years watching Oprah at 80% of their pay, while the rest of us slave away to guarantee their comfort.

Guantanamo remains under the Bush Doctrine, even though Obama has promised to close it next year. His only problem to that promise is that Congress has refused to finance the closure and no other country or U.S. politician wants the scumbags in their back yard.

And finally, The Marlboro Man-in-Chief is on his second--and most likely not his last--globetrotting apology tour, where he is showcasing America as one of the world’s largest Muslim countries. Never mind that there wasn’t one Muslim here when Columbus landed, when we fought for independence, or when we provided religious freedom for all. You’re welcome.

But remember he promised tax cuts for 95% of us too and see how that’s shaping up. Please don’t let your heart be troubled, I am personally holding him to that promise.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Leaf Turning

I really need to take a deep breath, reset my priorities and adjust my attitude. Like my dearly departed Daddy would say, “if you can’t say something nice about someone, don’t say anything at all”. Well, somewhere along the way I morphed that into, “if you must say something bad, you had better say something good too”.

So, Barrack Obama, for a charismatic but incompetent loser, sure has a nice smile. Or, the entire Obama administration, along with Congress, is turning America into a third world nation, but they make a really big class photo. Now, ain’t that special.

But this new policy isn’t without drawbacks. For instance, it is very hard to find nice things to offset the bad. I mean every day there is some mind-numbing proposal, policy or bone headed program to draw my ire, but it is virtually impossible to generate the offsetting compliment, once you have used up the grin, self-indulgence, smirks and overabundant arrogance. See what I mean?

Like, I’m trying Dad, but he doesn’t give me much to work with.

There is no argument that this administration is abandoning 200 years of legal precedent, pulling the blocks from under the Ship of State and rapidly transforming America into a quasi-Socialist/Fascist/Communist state, which will no doubt, at some time, be referred to as an Obamacracy. Nothing less could reflect his personal touches on such a governing style.

But all these issues are being covered ad nauseum by the blogosphere and Fox News, which have far more influence than I. The only problem being is that only about 30% of America has any idea as to what’s going on. Problem being is that it was about 30% of eligible voters that put this clown in office, but it wasn’t the same 30%.

You see America, only a small portion of Obama supporters are just now getting the hangover from that big party last November. They are just now losing their jobs, cars, houses and a big chunk of their self esteem to the reality that they were flim-flamed into voting for the biggest fraud America has ever seen. I mean this guy makes Bernie Maddof look like a Sunday School teacher. Deal with it.