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Thursday, August 26, 2010

It’s Your Party

A crumbling economy, ballooning debt, omnipresent taxes, oppressive regulations, a rabid Congress and crowing Administration are all center stage for an upcoming disaster reality show…..The Crushing of America.
Every time I see Barney Frank, Chris Dodd, Charlie Rangel or, yes, even John McCain I want, not to take a shower, but get exfoliated.

But hey, what’s the downside? Well, we could re-elect the “Jackwagons” that brought us here, for a start. Oh yeah, let’s send back the “professional” politicians to, not just finish the job, but peddle off the crumbs, when the cake is gone. And the sad part is that in some quarters the voters are doing that very thing. It is however one thing to elect someone who knows where the congressional bathrooms are. It is quite another to return the same folks that are putting our future into the toilet.

On the other hand, as an eternal optimist, I submit that the right, charismatic, conservative, with a compliant Congress and some common sense could turn our situation around, on a dime, and give us 5 cents change. Yes Pilgrims, 20% of our malaise is due to government intrusion and self inflicted, nonsensical depression, while 80% is voter incompetence, self-delusion and the antipathy of voting against the entitlement self interest. Yes, we have painted ourselves into a fiscal corner, because we didn’t stop the entitlement gravy train long ago.

But all is not lost. Studies show that the ballot box isn’t visited by nearly the number of “entitled” as by the hard working taxpaying patriots. So, our salvation is at the ballot box, not in the corridors of today’s Congress. If you’re tired of being used like a two dollar hooker, you might show up at the next election and exercise the only power you have left. That is unless you are the Left and then you can just stay home and keep cashing those entitlement checks and working on picking your next tattoo.

After November, you have no one else to blame but yourselves for the inevitable train wreck. Everything you need to know is available, right now, in print or online. You just have to pull your head from your posterior and separate the political self-interest from your self-interest. Vote for your future, not a politicians.


Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Our Economic Donkey

And so we are to wonder what the hell is going on with America. As I type, the Dow has just dipped below 10,000.…again. I cannot help but ponder just how we got here. Oh, I know, the Dow is just a handful of key corporations delegated as a bellwether of how things are and in some cases, how they are going to be.

The Dumbplumber likens our economy to a donkey, a very overloaded donkey. You see, right now we have a 300lb. donkey with an 800lb. pack. And therein lies the problem. Since the last Depression we have been heaping more and more of a burden upon our economic donkey until now we have overloaded him and he is not ‘gonna’ take it any more.

Our burdens are regulations, taxes, mandates, more regulations, fees, permits, oversight, more taxes and more regulation, into infinity and beyond. Add to that economic neighbors siphoning off our productive businesses, corporations and brainpower to enhance their economies at our expense. And who is to blame? Well, the mirror is a good place to look.

Yes my tree hugging, bicycle seat sniffing, solar panel packing, windmill hypnotized jackasses it is us. We have, under the guise of safety, safety nets, the environment and protecting the unions simply larded our little donkey with a load so outrageous that, if we stopped larding today, he wouldn’t move another step.

In fact, if he moves at all it will be down hill, backwards, just to get some of the heap off his back. You see, we are at the point of, no, past the point of no return. So until we see some of these oppressive regulations, usurious taxes and endless government interference, out of our lives, this donkey just isn’t going forward.

My suggestion for local crystal ball gazers is to look at another state’s economy, that’s booming, and do what they do. Take a look at Montana, North Dakota or even Indiana and ask yourself, why aren’t we like them.

So until that little nugget takes root, the Dumbplumber will wait quietly on the sidelines for the incandescent bulb to come on.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

So, Tell Me Again

Okay people. Time to swivel your heads, roll your eyes and say auwmmm, auwmmm a few times. Cough, gargle plug your nose and clear your head of all the nauseating ad nauseum gobbledygook you have heard about the Muslim mosque planned for the site near Ground Zero. Stop thinking about the posturing politicians, the whimpering survivors, the pookey disturbing talking heads stirring the pot about the sensitivity, the conspiracy, and the notion that this facility is a “trophy” for bringing down the Twin Towers.

You can stop now because the Dumbplumber is here to easy your angst, your anxiety, your media driven phobia of the Shariah Temple of Lower Manhattan. Get over it pilgrims, it ain’t gonna happen and I’m here to tell you why.

Unions are why. Yes, I said it. Unions are not gonna allow this abomination and it’s the only thing I really like about them. Call them any thing you like but don’t call them late for dinner or lovers of Islam.

Here’s how it works. Sham Ala Ooom Bom Bang wants to build a mosque at ground zero. He first hires some towel head architects to scribble some lines in the sand with a stick and tells the City that they will build it pronto.

Well folks, that is where the rubber leaves the road. Seems that City Hall wants to see some paper with ink, some engineering data, seismic studies and load calculations. Oops, they got blown away with the wind. Now, there are the palms to grease, the inspectors to bribe and the politicians to schmooze. Oh darn, now we have a problem. But not nearly the problem they are going to encounter when someone tries to start the project.

Now I don’t want to go out on a limb here, but demolition in Manhattan isn’t aiming a shoulder mounted rocket or a Boeing 737 at a building and yelling Allah Akbar. There are the beginnings to a string of destruction and construction unions you have to deal with and most are run by the Mafia( read as Stars and Stripes waving Italian Americans) So here we go.

You don’t level a building, you don’t haul it away, you don’t excavate the footings, you don’t dig the new foundations, you don’t deliver anything to the jobsite, you don’t lay the rebar, you don’t pour the concrete,

you don’t erect the steel, you don’t build the forms, you don’t pour the footings, you don’t operate the cranes, you don’t string the conduit, you don’t pull the wire, you don’t plumb, you don’t remove the debris, you don’t operate the backhoes, the dump trucks or the fork lifts, you don’t deliver the supplies, you don’t cater the site, you don’t drywall, you don’t paint, you don’t carpet, you don’t glaze (that’s install glass for you from Mississippi and Alabama), you don’t wallpaper, you don’t poop in a port-a-potty that you don’t involve a union member. In short: YOU DON’T DO SHIT THAT A UNION WORKER DOESN’T DO IT.

So you will forgive me for my cerebral shortcomings, but tell me again just how some Allah loving, Shariah sucking, cave dwelling, mutton munching, Quran thumping, freedom hating goobers trying to blow us back into the 12th Century, think they can build a monument to their “one off” box cutter armed nut bags, who took advantage of our Liberties and Freedoms to bring down America’s largest symbol of international capitalism. No sir, I didn’t think you could.

You see, without Freedom, Liberty and Capitalism there wouldn’t be economic development, a booming private sector, OR UNIONS. So, to help build this Mosque would be the moral equivalent of a standing ovation for 9/11. So the only thing left to understand is why the print, digital and video media is wasting so much time debating something that just isn’t going to happen.

Prop 8 Ain’t Heaven’s Gate

While we’re all distracted with the nonsense of granting the station of “Marriage” to folks with the same plumbing, we are losing the bigger picture. Hey PEOPLE, THE WORLDS GOING TO HELL IN A HANDBASKET AND WE’RE CONCERNED THAT BARNEY WANTS TO PLAY HOUSE WITH GOOBER. Geesh, you gotta be shitting me.

Now I don’t want to pick nits here, but while we’re all busy spending millions plucking around in the Constitutional weeds, we are ignoring major elements of the greatest governing document in history. I don’t recall many lawsuits around the ‘bankrupting of GM and Chrysler’ at the expense of bond and debt holders, then handing the companies over to the UAW, after shoveling them billions in taxpayer money to bolster their pension funds and as seed money. Gee, where’s the Constitutional outrage!!!

And I don’t see David Bois or Ted Olsen lining up to sue the Obama administration over mandatory health insurance, pushing Card Check, diverting 100% of our Stimulus dollars to “Union” contractors and employees (when only 18% of America is unionized) or taking over control of ‘Energy’ by placing established reserves off limits to development.

No sir, we are all about making sure that Bruce can “marry” Steve instead of cohabitating with all the privileges of marriage in a civil union and, I might add, with all the downside of divorce. Go figure. But if that’s what it takes to take our eyes off our march to Armageddon, let the party begin. I may not be a political genius, but I seriously doubt that legalizing “gay marriage” will pull us out of this self-inflicted nosedive.

People, I don’t want to go on a rant here, but when you have the likes of wanna-be Conservative, Peggy Noonan, the New York Times and any number of quivering Liberals predicting a revolutionary backlash to government in general, and Obama in particular, for marching us to socialism, I would submit that it didn’t take a crystal ball to figure that out.

No folks, given our financial, moral and political situation, Huntley-Brinkley said it best. Good Night and Good Luck. Dumbplumber.

Sunday, August 01, 2010

The Party’s Over

Now let me get this straight. We have gone on a $2.5 trillion dollar stimulus spending spree, that only enriched 18% of the nation‘s public and private sector unions . But NOW, we are ALL going to feel the pain. So, tell me again just how that works? 82% of taxpaying America gets the bill for the party that only 18% went to. Yeah well, let’s just see how that plays in November.

We are telling less than one quarter of America that they can keep on keeping on, while the rest of us get to tighten our belts and pay for the band that we never got to listen to. Oh yeah, nothing quite like delivering the beer to the party, then never getting to blow the foam off a cold one, we get the privilege of hauling back the empty kegs.

Are you shitting me? WE ALL HAVE TO SUFFER because a handful of greedy bankers and corrupt politicians plundered the system, taking us to the brink of the abyss, then some other D.C. “Einsteins” said to hell with the bankruptcy laws and our Constitution, let the ‘little’ people pay, then drove this runaway train so far into the ditch that we will be decades clawing our way out. We all have to share the pain, My Ass.

But not to worry, our leaders will have us digging through the sofa cushions, under the car seats and in our laundry baskets for any loose change to keep those government jobs, union retirement plans and Air Force One fully funded. Nevermind that while the rest of America is being “shoe-horned” into Obama’s electric cars (thereby spending about one fifth of the rest of our lives waiting to charge batteries), the powers-that-be will be busy shuffling around their yachts, hiding their Escalades and “borrowing a friend’s Jet“, because things are getting tough out there.

Oh it may take a little longer, but even the dumbest among us will soon discover that this dog just won’t hunt.

Yessir, the Chickens are about to come home to roost. There are some that you can help, some you cannot help and some too stupid to help. Come November 2nd we will have an accounting of just how many are too stupid to help.

Arizona Blowback

In the words of my hero, Marion Morrison (aka John Wayne): “Wahl Pilgrim, what’s good for the goose, is good for the gander”.

If a federal judge in Arizona says that States cannot enforce Federal laws, then I guess that Counties and Cities can’t either. Time to draw a line in the sand. Time to make D.C. eat some crow.

Let’s see now, bank robbing is a Federal Law. Let the Feds handle it. From now on, if you see a robbery in progress, offer them a ride. They might give you a tip, especially if you’re in a low rider, with your umba-pa going.

Like a nice new shiny FBI, US Forest Service or IRS Escalade, Lincoln or Chevy pickup? No problemo. Just find one with the keys inside at a crime scene, gas station or job site and help yourself. Local yokels and County Mounties have no jurisdiction, let the Feds deal with it.

Need some timber for that new lodge or just to make a few extra bucks? Just fire up the Homelite or Stihl and drop all the old growth you need and haul them away. No need to fear a Fed showing up, because they’re all out looking for their missing trucks.

So, uncle Bernie is investing his millions in gold coins, (“hawked” by Vinnie on T.V.) and having them delivered by the Post Office. Hell yeah, just drive by Bernie’s mailbox a few times until that plain brown wrapper arrives and ‘Ca-Ching‘, it’s pay day. It’s only 175 miles to the nearest FBI office, but their Chevy Suburbans are up on blocks being “redistributed” to the more needy

But not to worry, our president and his Justice Department leaders all have 24/7 bodyguards, chauffeurs and other assorted security to protect THEIR stuff, so: Nothing to see here, move along.

Yessir, this whole Federal Law stuff should make our future, if not less secure, at least a whole lot more interesting. Now all I have to do is change my name to Juan Garcia, so I can get in line for my entitlements. Sorry, gotta go. Just saw a primo Silverado with my name on it