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Sunday, October 19, 2014

Dear Dr. Ben Carson

Dear Dr. Carson:

Having received your solicitation for money disguised as a survey of my opinions, I was floored by your cover letter.

The Letterhead startled me first:  “Renowned Pediatric Neurosurgeon”.  But it didn’t hold a candle to the opening greeting:  “You may recognize me as a world famous doctor”.

Reading that opening in the seat of my truck, I nearly blew Diet Pepsi out my nose.  Jesus H. Crist, who writes this shit?

Then it all started to hit me.  The Dumbplumber isn’t necessarily a world famous plumber.  He isn’t even a State, County or City famous plumber, but he knows more about medicine than this arrogant grunt knows about plumbing.  In fact, this plumber knows that if Dr. Carson had the voice of James Earl Jones, instead of Pee Wee Herman or Gomer Pyle, he would already be President.

The Dumbplumber also knows that if Americans ate balanced meals, stopped smoking, drank alcohol only in moderation, exercised regularly, got adequate sleep and refrained from taking illegal drugs, it would cut Medicaid and Medicare expenditures by over 30%, or over $100 billion a year.  This has been confirmed by several doctors.

He also knows that if every citizen receiving taxpayer money, in any form, were obliged to take random drug tests, the consumption of illegal narcotics would plummet, driving the drug trade back into the nooks and crannies of society, instead of out on the boulevards.

And while the Dumbplumber would never consider himself a good source of medical advice, his experiences providing services to doctors, lawyers and stock brokers, leaves him to believe all these professions should avoid pipe wrenches at any cost.

In short, Dr. Carson, if you want something (like the White House) just say so.  Camouflaging it as a poll, demeans your intentions.

Respectfully, The Dumbplumber

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Flying Pork


According to the Daily Caller blog, Senator Tom Harkin paid over $50,000 to fly Hillary and Bill to his big Cook-off Kissoff.  Yes my friends, the only item costlier on the expense side of the soirĂ©e was the food.

Or another way you could look at is that the ‘Pork’ couple was the most expensive thing on the menu.

Wednesday, October 08, 2014

RINOs vs Libtards

Never force the Dumbplumber to choose between the lesser of two political evils.  It will not end well for RINOs, nor will it end well for our country. 

Monday, October 06, 2014

Are You Shitting Me

Are you Shitting Me? 

Headline:  We May be Fighting ISIS in the Middle East for 25 years!!!!
With that revelation it is entirely probable that a woman raped today in Syria will have a child we will be fighting in 2029.  Meanwhile we will be shipping back our own in body bags and on stretchers for the duration.  Can’t wait for the next batch of wounded to show up on television begging for rehab dollars, while the Preezy flies around golfing.

Funny how nobody mentions the Rules of Engagement.  How about this:  We suspend the Rules of Engagement tomorrow.  And if we catch you hiding behind a skirt or in a grade school, or in a hospital.  We will level the aforementioned skirt, et al, and blow your ass into Islam heaven.

Better yet, before we lose one more soldier, let’s notify a few select cities in Iraq of a pending bombing, then while dropping the MOABs (Mother of all Bombs), pick off those cave dwelling, mutton munching Islam loving bastards as they scurry away.  If you don’t think that will work, try asking a survivor of Dresden, Berlin or Nagasaki. 

Has anyone ever asked how come it is that we can shut down a $10,000 used Cadillac with OnStar, but cannot shut off a Million Dollar tank we lost to ISIS?  Why is it we have launched a few hundred drone strikes on suspected ISIS training camps and terrorist picnics, but can’t shut down the fueling, support and repair capabilities of their army? 

If I know anything about tanks, they are thirsty and need constant repairs.  How hard can it be to shut down these assets?  Obviously pretty hard.  But then again, I’m just a plumber and not a brilliant military strategist, or the U.S. President.

The Dumbplumber

Sunday, October 05, 2014

Going Chapter II

A Case for U.S. Government Chapter 11

Maybe it’s time that us folks that pay our nation’s debts had a talk with those that spend our money.  Better yet:  I’ll talk, they can listen.

America is well over $17 trillion in debt and going deeper at over $100 billion per month.  Our national debt has now eclipsed our gross national product and at last count we have over $150 trillion in unfunded liabilities, thanks to the U.S. Congress and State governments (who’re allowing the explosion of federal and state agencies), public employee labor unions and several administrations run amok. 

Now one would think that numbers like that would sober the most irresponsible among us.  But nooooo.  All we hear is that our government can spend like junkies, because our creditors have are promised “The Full Faith and Credit” of the U.S. government (read as the American taxpayers). 

You see, there is no limit, there is no cause, there is no study, there is no foreign or domestic catastrophe immune from taxpayer support.  And the notion of a Budget is now but a memory.  Like budgets are just for the little people.  The U.S. hasn’t had a budget since I can’t remember when, even though we, by law, are supposed to have one every year.  Budgets have been replaced by Continuing Resolutions (CRs). Which means: Damn the Torpedoes, Full Speed Ahead.

Dumbplumber says: Horse Hockey!!!!

Time to jerk the chains of those that have allowed us this disaster.  Time to file Chapter 11, and reorganize to live within our means. 

What does this mean.  Well, first it means there is going to be some pain. 
(Oh, I don’t mean for the taxpayers.  Taxpayers aren’t what got us in this mess, a whole lot of stupid voters did.  Most of which survive on entitlements, are functionally ignorant or are a combination of the two.)

I mean pain for those that have sucked at the government teat way too long, those that have abused our entitlement systems and, YES, for those that were dumb enough to keep buying our debt well after we became insolvent and still believed Timothy Geithner, when he said ‘Full Faith and Credit’.  

And it’s well beyond time to reign in what the U.S. government needs, what it owns and above all, what it owes.  Never-mind that during the past decade government has overreached into our refrigerators, our bedrooms, our bathrooms, our gas tanks and most of all into our healthcare.  Hell, they’ve even been poking around in our kid’s lunch pails.  Time to take a little bureaucratic time-out.  Let’s rewind the legal clock and unwind about 50,000 abusive, obnoxious and financially obscene laws and regulations.

Let’s not forget the tens of millions of acres the Feds own and cannot control, protect or reasonably manage.  If a space is not worthy of being a significant point of interest, National Park or deserving forest preserve, let’s peddle it.

Big Brother is attempting to destroy our automobile engines with emissions controls and corn-gobbling ethanol, while starving our plants and trees of carbon dioxide, they sit in their government issued, climate controlled cars, pickups and fire trucks and watch millions of acres go up inflames each year, because they lack the will or initiative to manage the forests and wild lands and create barriers to starve fires of fuel. 

Meanwhile bureau-weenies are bound and determined to eliminate nuclear power, yet they spend billions on creating adequate dumping ground for fuel waste, then billions more shutting them down.  Guess they think those decaying barrels of WWII waste off the Farallon Islands may be the best solution.

Let’s clean up our air, water and terra firma, but not one more penny goes to Al Gore or the eco-Nazis for carbon credits or anything else.  Turn trial lawyers loose on industries NOT protecting their workers, but shut down OSHA and every State version existing. 

Building inspectors should, in the future, be responsible for building failures, not harass contractors into bankruptcy or business into oblivion.

And STOP creating bureaucracies for every new industry created from whole cloth.  We are literally fashioning an industry police force of folks that have NO idea what they are policing.

Okay, now that I have made a short list of things to do in Chapter 11, I can wad it up and shove it where the sun never shines.  Because if I know one thing about government, it never gets smaller. 

I think I will go into my shop and smash my fingers with a ball-peen hammer, then I’ll know the rest of my day will only get better.

Continuing the Thread

Continuing on my rant against the RINOs trying to humiliate Conservatives and Tea Partiers into donating and voting for other RINOs who want to continue the losing policies of the present RINOs.  Are you getting the feeling that I am having an issue with RINOs?

Well, let’s cut to the chase.  How many sitting RINOs have authored or co-sponsored legislation shrinking the size of government?  How many RINOs running for office or running for re-election are promoting our Constitution or demanding that the Congress, the Administration and the Justice Dept. adhere to it? 

Okay, how about this one, how many RINOs are suggesting and promoting the lowering of our taxes, or even demanding that government explain where our hard earned taxes went or why they waste as much as they do already?  And given that the gubmint admits to wasting, misdirecting or losing hundreds of billions every year, why aren’t the RINOs finding that money and taxing the assholes that have it?

And finally, when was the last time you heard a RINO demand more personal responsibility from those spending our money, receiving our money in the form of entitlements or squandering our money in execution of their duties.  Anyone!  Bueller!  Anyone! 

So the next time you hear someone threatening us Conservatives for NOT supporting, nor voting for establishment Republican douche-nozzles, tell them the Dumbplumber says you can kiss his ass. 

Put up qualified, responsible and conservative candidates, or go fuck yourself.