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Friday, October 28, 2011

The Daily What

The Daily What Have you heard about Herman Cain’s latest verbal flub, miscue, audible bauble, blunder, boner, bungle…? You get the idea. Why yes you have. Because this guy can’t fart through his Jockeys that the MSM isn’t pouncing on his every emission.
 Have you heard ‘O’Biden’s’ latest screw-up or Obama’s stumbling or bumbling when his teleprompter is MIA. Why, no you’ve not. Unless you see it on the Internet.

President Obama has confidence that he can win the 2012 election despite his low poll numbers. Well, of course he can win. Who needs good poll numbers when you have voter fraud, election fraud, polling station intimidation, no ‘ID’ requirements on election day, registration fraud, ‘activist’ transportation of Liberal voters on election day with beer and cigarettes for ‘correct‘ vote commitment, union transportation of ballot boxes, union members counting ballots, Chicago style vote counting (two for me, one for thee), computer hacking of voting machines and brainwashing of millions of voters in believing that they will remain on the entitlement bandwagon as long as he is president. And NEVER forget that tens of millions of voters vote the straight Democrat ticket, no matter what ignorant, self-indulgent, delusional dimwit is running. **************************************
I see that Rick Santorum is taking a swipe at Herman Cain for not taking a strong stance on abortion. Well Rick, let me let you in on a secret. Abortion (as opposed to defense, delivering the mail and settling disputes between states), is a states rights or individual rights issue. Hopefully this doesn’t derail his campaign, as it has yours, because the only issue about abortion is WHO is paying for it. Dumbplumber

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

The Bigfoot of Cats

On the tenth anniversary of finishing our new home also marks the arrival of a tiny kitten. Wifey and I have made a profound discovery. Many have been to our home, but other than ourselves less than five other people have ever seen our cat, our neighbor excluded. (He caught her twice in a live trap)

We don’t have a lot of visitors, but those that do come by only hear stories about the schizophrenic cat because she never reveals herself to others. And of those that have seen her, none have ever touched her or been within reach to do so. We did have one visitor about five years ago, my former grade school teacher, that actually had dinner with us and watched the cat casually stroll across the living room. We would like to use his confirmation as evidence of her existence , however, he took his testimony to the grave two years after his visit. It has become such a joke over the last ten years: Fewer people have seen our cat than have seen Bigfoot.

When we say it’s our cat, we really don’t mean it. She trained us to feed her ten years ago, never left, and has taught us to do many more things for her since. We actually thought about posting a story about the cat on our blogs with photos of the cat’s favorite resting spots, one near the dining table window, (photo) another near the office window, another on the railing sheltered by a wild plum tree and of course the one on the bed. However, these photos would be much like those of the places Bigfoot was spotted, but instead of footprints, we only have cat hair to mark as evidence.
Office window spying on the quail.

We could also do a time lapse photo of her food bowl, slowly diminishing, but you would be confused that the water does not. That is because she prefers either the toilet bowl or her favorite larva infested stagnant pool outside in the garden bowls left for our local birds and other wildlife.

Sparky's afghan on the bed
And speaking of birds, we are left with much evidence of breakfast birds, lunch birds and the occasional afternoon ‘snack’ bird parts littering our yard and deck area. No, she is not a neat cat.

However an argument can be made that it is the local foxes leaving their calling cards. But I maintain that foxes do not do their bird hunting during the daylight hours and they certainly don’t drag their feasts near our house for devouring. No, it’s the cat. It is our policy (due to the many predators here ‘bouts) that we leave the cat indoors when we leave overnight. We joke that she is stationed as a ‘guard cat’, and I must report that, over the past decade, nothing has gone missing with her on duty.
About our only complaint is that we receive little in return for providing food, water, shelter and security from the cat. Her interaction with us is minimal at best. She sleeps on the wife’s side of the bed, she allows very little petting (preferring to present her tail for stroking), passes infrequently over the sofa for the cursory touch, only lounges outside on the deck when we are there, as guards, and spends the entire day lurking outside, scouting hidey holes and available critters.
Favorite railing sunning spot

She will not come when called and prefers showing up for her four o’clock treat, somewhere between 3 and 5, depending on the time of year and accuracy of her fur covered kitty clock. Timing has never been her strong suit. But she is given credit for never having clawed, chewed or shredded the furniture. That, she saves for her personal pedestal (photo) which has been fashioned into an omage to Edgar Winter.

Shredded cat perch.

Overall I should not complain. Having never been a cat-person, I do appreciate her low maintenance, but live in wonder at how many 50lb bags of cat food has been consumed by our 4lb cat over the years. About the only thing she demands of me (since I refuse to acknowledge that she is my cat) is to open the back door, then close it, then open it, then close it, then open it, then…well, you get the idea.

And on this tenth anniversary of her arrival, I would be less than honest if I didn’t confess that on more than one occasion I have dreamt of the day when we would be cat-free. No cleaning the litter box, no vacuuming the cat hair, no lugging 40 lb. bags of Cat Chow out of Costco, no listening to the wifey’s daily, screeching/calling of the cat, which no doubt is enjoyed by neighbors on both sides. But on the bright side, her going missing, or worse, could be assuaged by popping the cork on a new bottle of 25 year old Single Malt and hailing a toast to one of the least troublesome intrusions ever into our lives.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

The Vote is Broke

The Vote is Broke

Let me get this straight. Sarah Palin couldn’t run for president because her approval ratings dropped to 39%.

But Mitt Romney will be the Republican candidate and he can’t break out of a 25% approval ceiling. And he doesn’t share one voter with Palin. Just saying.

We are so screwed.


Saturday, October 08, 2011

Digging Deeper

A recent poll of overseas military personnel reveals that 31% of our soldiers think Iraq and Afghanistan are a waste of time and effort.

Digging deeper, the Dumbplumber discovered: The poll did not reveal that 69% actually wanted to go home, but there would be no job when they got there. Of those, half would go home if they could take their weapons, 50,000 rounds of ammo and get a free bus ticket to Washington, D.C..

Monday, October 03, 2011

Muslim America.....NOT

I’m still digesting the notion that America is a Muslim nation. And here’s why.

How many Muslims are buried at Gettysburg? How many Muslims are buried at Arlington?

No, better yet, how many Muslims are buried in the 136 National cemeteries from the Abraham Lincoln National to the Zachary Taylor National Cemetery?

These cemeteries are occupied by hundreds of thousand, if not millions, of military personnel. And that’s just within our borders. And we should never forget the hundreds of thousands of Americans buried in foreign lands, lands that they gave their lives to protect from the likes of Hitler, Mussolini, Hirohito and Kaiser Wilhelm II. And I would suggest that there aren’t enough Muslim bodies buried among them, that if resurrected, could run a Seven Eleven franchise.

Moreover, contrary to the popular notion, among Liberals, that the Civil War was fought over slavery (which it wasn’t, slavery was an ancillary issue) slavery would not have existed were it not for Muslims. Yes my unwashed, uninformed, mentally challenged critics, it was Muslims that rounded up the natives and paraded them to the shores of Africa to be “cord-wooded” onto slave ships and sent to America and other shores for sale.

Indeed, Muslims were routinely gathering and selling slaves as far back as 700 A.D, if not earlier, to fulfill the demand for labor to oppressive regimes in Asia, Europe and the Mediterranean.

So to imply that America is a Muslim nation reveals a serious level of historical ignorance, as well as a twisted attempt to rewrite America‘s past. On a good day, at best, we could credit Muslims for supplying the labor to make tobacco and cotton our biggest export of the 19th century. But hey, I could be wrong.


Saturday, October 01, 2011

Don't Dare Me

It apparently is a universal belief that when all Hell breaks loose (which no one disputes will be not “if” but “when“) anarchy will be the rule and not the exception. Roving bands of armed hooligans will be robbing and killing innocent citizens for their gold, guns and food. Meanwhile, law enforcement will be virtually non-existent, especially in rural areas, where essential infrastructure is sparse.

What is in dispute however is what triggers the collapse and how to stop it.

I would suggest that the beginning of the end is the adoption of Socialist/Marxist/Fascist rules, regulations and laws. Therefore, ‘taking out’ these influences early, as shortcut to head off the inevitable, should not be off the table. It certainly would be more efficient to end it now, as opposed to later, when we might lack the ammo to properly defend ourselves.

Or stated another way, “Don’t put the crosshairs on a Fascist or Marxist and dare me NOT to pull the trigger. It might just save the Union“.