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Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Unionize ISIS

In the Obama administration’s lame attempts to describe ISIS, about every characterization has been submitted except the real one….they’re terrorists stupid.  Now that wasn’t so hard to say now was it?

We’ve heard “disgruntled splinter groups”, “unhappy freedom fighters”, “random murderers”, and lately we’ve been given, and wait for this, “aggressive job seekers”.  What we haven’t heard is RADICAL ISLAMIC TERRORISTS.  These depictions have all, of course, come directly from agencies controlled by the worst president of all time, and from the president himself. 

However, I think I have discovered some common ground.  UNIONS!  Yes, you heard it from me first.  ISIS just needs to form a union and all its troubles will be forgotten.  I mean, our media never condemns a union for beating or killing folks they brand as scabs, whose only crime was crossing a picket line.  It’s like OK.  To the Left, unions are the glue that binds liberal assholes together.  Unions make the most noise, cause the most damage, extort the most money and give the largest donations to democrat campaigns. 

Unions are to freedom, what condoms are to reproduction.  Yes, my stupid, progtard friends, your only salvation is to get ISIS unionized.  And do it fast before a small band of well armed, well trained Navy Seals and Army Rangers put an end to your ISIS dreams forever. 

Your second challenge will be to train or enlist qualified mechanics to work on those scavenged Hummers and purloined Abrams tanks.  The Toyota and Nissan gun trucks will run forever, but American armament requires constant maintenance.  But don’t worry about parts.  The American government thinks all those high tech parts they send to Yemen, stays in Yemen.

And nothing says happy worker like over-time, double time, full healthcare and a shop steward to get in boss’ face when things start to go Dixie.  And don’t worry about blending.  ISIS will meld with union workers like peanut butter to chocolate.  Remember the Wisconsin Capitol building a few years ago?  If that wasn’t ISIS in training, well then what was it?  No my friends, unionizing ISIS is the only way to save America.

Because once they are unionized, they’ll be so busy taking coffee breaks, sniveling about benefits and threatening Conservative politicians, they won’t have time to behead and incinerate the Christians.

Monday, February 16, 2015

Things that Don't Matter

It occurred to me that some things really don’t matter.  Wars matter, blizzards matter, calamities matter, deaths (sometimes) matter, catastrophes matter and, whether I like to admit it or not, elections matter.

Likewise, laws, regulations, directives, presidential orders, decrees, edicts, memos, dictates and ordinances matter, because each and every one chips away at our liberties and freedoms.  In fact there are over 71,000 pages of things you cannot do today that you could do just seven years ago. 

But number one on my list of things that don’t matter is Kim Kardashian, or anything Kardashian for that matter (and that includes Mr. Kardashian, Bruce Jenner).  But hardly a day goes by that we don’t have headlines blaring something a Kardashian has done, said, believes or has taken her clothes off for.  In fact, I know more about this empty headed bimbo than I ever wanted to know.

So, with so much Kardashian news, I am wondering how Brian Williams was able to elbow his way into the spotlight. 

Simple, he committed a journalism felony.  He said he had done things even an empty headed Liberal could not believe.  No, he didn’t sleep with a Kardashian, but he might have thought he did.  And when the Liberal meat grinder went into overdrive, Mr. Williams was banished to his multi-million dollar domicile to ponder how he was going to make his multi-millions last until he got back on the liberal gravy train. 

You see, I don’t give a rats ass about Brian Williams.  He has received more money in one month than 80% of America makes in a lifetime.  If you are grieving for Brian, pull a couple of Benjamin’s out of your wallet and dry your eyes.  No, Brian is lying in the bed he made.  Move on.

Now Gov. Kitzhaber has fallen off his perch so fast he can’t make the first 50 stories on Yahoo.  Goodbye to bad rubbish…..

Friday, February 13, 2015

Mayhem and Meanderings

Over the past several months a nagging thought has been in the back of my mind.  This may not be the most articulate, but I have to say it:

Recently, the MSM in general and Democrats in particular have been spouting that Scott Walker is NOT qualified to be president because he did not graduate college. 

No where is it mentioned that 435 law makers and our current administration have brought us to the brink of financial disaster, disdain among the world's leaders, condemnation from our military and outrage among most of our population, and THEY all have college degrees.


You will not find truth in Congress, in the Administration or on the Mainstream Media.  Each and every one is a fraud factory.  But only one makes a professional offender take a 'time out' without pay.


It was recently announced that the Longshoreman's union will be staging a work slowdown over Obama's new tax on Cadillac Healthcare Plans.  It is estimated that each member may have to fork over as much as $40,000 on the extorted health plan. 

Look for another Obama exemption.

I am still trying to figure out why Mercury is a hazardous material, but is an ingredient in vaccines.  If you spill Mercury it requires a Hazmat team to clean it up, but if you don't inject it in your child's bloodstream they can't go to school. Heaven forbid and explanation on the 6 o'clock news.

Maybe it's time for some clarity.

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Obama skirt

Maybe I should finish my first cuppa Joe before reading the morning blogs.

The very first story was a report that an illegal alien was arrested while wearing an Obama "skirt".  Whoa.  I backtracked and found that it was an Obama "shirt". 

Well, at this point what difference does it make. 

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Business as Usual

It’s Business as Usual.  Today Congress passed the Keystone Pipeline Bill, but doesn’t have enough votes to over ride a veto.  In a few days or weeks, Congress will pass a Bill to repeal Obamacare, but won’t have the votes to repeal it.  In fact, I don’t believe there has been a Bill passed and signed, a regulation shoved down our throats, damaging our economy, nor a Dumbass directive, by der Porch Monkey, that has been or will be repealed or overturned. 

It is so bad, these lazy, chicken choking, politicians can’t repeal the incandescent light bulb ban.  But by God, they’re representing us.  Don’t look for answers from the IRS, the State Dept., or the Fed, as to just how screwed we are.  They won’t give them to us.  But we’ll feel the full force and power of the U.S. Government, while Al Sharpton is dining at the White House, while owing ‘us’ over $5 million dollars and counting.

Now I can understand not having the willpower to reverse the most damaging law the United States has ever shoved down our throats.  There’s hundreds of billions at stake and too many fingers it has to trickle through before it doesn’t come back to us.  But the light bulb ban!?! 

Here’s an idea.  Congress should be denied pay for passing any Bill they know a veto won’t be overridden.  It was a waste of time yesterday, was a waste of time today and will another waste of time tomorrow.  But not to worry.  These assholes are spending other peoples money. 

There exists no punishment too severe for the likes of the clowns on Capitol Hill.  I will always believe that Chris Kyle should have been sent to D.C. instead of Fallujah, Iraq.  Far more civilians and soldiers would have been saved, with a few dozen well placed rounds.

And you could bet that it would no longer be Business as Usual.

Man without Honor

The knives are out.  The cries in righteous indignation are deafening.  Even Maureen Dowd cannot be cowed.

He lied to us most every night.  He told the world stories on television of his false tales with faked sincerity.  He made public speeches building fable upon fable, to construct a faux image of heroism and bravado.  He was one of us, but unflappable in the face of danger and intrigue. 

He visited Leno, Letterman and Oprah, to scoff at our nations power brokers and meld his vision with ours.  He played as every man’s man and every woman’s savior.  The world would be a better place if everyone were like him.

Almost from the beginning his manufactured image began to peel, but those who knew refused to reveal.  For years his lies could be seen, proven and exposed, but no one in the know would spout a word of truth, lest they be scorned, abused and held in refute.

His power was absolute, his ratings through the roof.  Then one day all could hear, the rumblings of a discontent military who knew no fear.  He was a charlatan, a hoax and a discredit to his profession.  A man who had abused his station, his post, his position. 

He had taken credit for things he was not capable, stomped on his rivals, wasted his considerable capital.  His bad decisions were always politically flavored, but his support staff never wavered.  He was the man of the people and he never let them forget it. 

It had taken years, but one day all the elements of the fraud came together as teeth on a zipper.  The military, the critics, the sycophants and the brass, all came together to light up his ass.  You lied, you misled, you cheated, and now you are the dinner for a beast who will never be sated.

We will not miss him and will soon forget the misdeeds of  NBC’s Mr. Williams.  But the damage Obama’s done to this country will not be repaired over the next millennia.

We are So Screwed.

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

For All to See

I see that Jesse Ventura, who has wandered out of his tinfoil house, has announced to the world that Chris Kyle (The American Sniper) was a “liar and not a hero”.  Nothing quite like a has-been turning himself into a nobody.

This is really rich coming from a guy who used to wear tight shorts and impersonated a wrestler.  I heard he also believes that the 9-11 attacks were orchestrated by a co-conspiracy between the Saudis and President George W. Bush. 

Well, Okie Dokie then.

On a lighter note, the Liar-in-Chief is threatening Congress with “consequences” if they try to de-fund his Amnesty or derail Obamacare.

Which is shorthand for ignoring the Three Branches of Government and turning the reigns of power over to the Token Dictator-in-Chief.

The Jug-eared-White House Porch Monkey is preparing to ask Congress for authority to attack ISIS.  No doubt he will include an amendment to include another $400 billion to backfill union pension shortfalls and another $100 billion of infrastructure funding to be redirected to unions that donated to the last democratic election cycle. 

Nancy Pelosi is hoping that Bibi Netanyahu will cancel his upcoming speech to Congress.  And she is holding her breath to hear from the Pope, who recently said that Catholics, who propose, abortion should be excommunicated.  I suppose she is also looking forward to some sage words from the Black Panthers, Louie Farrakhan and Brian Williams.

Bashing Brian

Seems that Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski are all twitterpated about the hubbub surrounding the behavior of NBC anchor Brian Williams.  Joe claims that making one, two, three (or 5000) mistakes doesn’t disqualify him from being the king of 6 o’clock news.  And….Joe has been around a long time and knows others that have done the same thing and gotten away with it.  (So you better stop fucking around with Brian or I’m gonna tell your mommy to spank you).

Mika, on the other hand, wearing her “Saving Private Brian” varsity jacket, claims that, “Williams is being held to a higher standard than others in the business….not being paid $24 million a year“.   “It just isn’t fair to be criticizing someone in your own house”, claims Mika.  And she’ll keep complaining until one of the NBC stockholders bitch slaps her back into reality. 

Meanwhile Dan Rather is wetting his pantyhose, claiming that he was all along, not alone.  And Al Sharpton, Chris Matthews and Ed Schultz could not be reached for comment.

Monday, February 02, 2015

Dumbplumber and Sand in the Hourglass Part 1

It occurred to the Dumbplumber this morning that he has begun to realize the sand in his hourglass is more precious every day.  He snapped to this when talking to his best buddy over breakfast, when admitting that he prefaces what he reads by looking at “key” words. 

For instance, if a headline reads:  “Today Obama said…” it’s click the mouse.  Because if Obama said it, 100 times out of 100 it’s either pure bullshit or it’s all about him.  No exceptions.

Or if the byline reads, Associated Press, New York Times or L.A. Times…it’s click the mouse, because anything they print is either a lie, laced with lies or slanted to a liberal’s perspective.  It’s the same with the  New York Post, The Boston Globe or Chicago Tribune.  If you’re looking for accurate, unbiased news, look elsewhere. 

Now to be fair, many of these bylines and headlines come from my favorite blogs:  InstaPundit, Lucianne, the Drudge Report, the Daily Caller or Newsmax.  However, these folks add lines of snark or scorn just under the headline, to alert you to some mind numbing babble. 

Mostly I ignore these stories because I’ve already been insulted enough.  No need to add to my anger or willingness to support any movement to reduce my hostilities through automatic weapons, explosives, shoulder fired rockets or all the above. 

Chris Kyle had the right idea, but he should have taken it to the rooftops overlooking the actual folks trying to reduce this country to a fascist, socialist oligarchy, the lying, scheming tentacles of the U.S. Congress, and the U.S. government and all those that support them.  Just the notion of the body parts of the conspirators and co-conspirators at the IRS, the Justice Dept., the EPA, the Dept. of Education, et al scattered all over the concrete jungle, referred to as Washington D.C., warms the cockles of my heart. 

Just the notion of having to endure the next two years, under our jug-eared loser makes me want to smash the fucking hourglass.  We are so Screwed.