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Saturday, December 31, 2011

Tale of Two Tee Shirts

This shirt was made about 3 years ago, when Palin and the Tea Party had a chance to save America.




This shirt was made last week, after 3 years of Obama and his Fascist regime RAPED America and NEUTERED our Congress.


Read 'em and weep for our Country.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Questions about Christmas


After a little over six decades of absorbing facts, figures and fictions, dressed up to look like facts, I still have questions.

Question One: Every year we are lectured to about the ‘meaning of Christmas’. You know, it’s not about the shopping, gift giving and extravagant efforts to impress a lot of really self-absorbed nimcompoops. It’s about the birth of Christ and what it means to mankind. The birth of God’s son and ‘His’ message that will be sent through Christ to all.

With that in mind, why and who are the people killing and maiming each other over a pair of $180 Nike Airs?

Question Two: The lectures continue that it is God’s wish for Peace on Earth and Good Will toward Men.

But what has happened when 300 bargain hunters blow out the front doors of a Best Buy to get to a $299, 32inch flat screen t.v.?

Question Three: If 80% of Americans claim to be Christians, is it the 1% of Muslims, the .5% of Hindus, the 3.7% of Jews or the 15% of non-religious Americans kicking in the doors to get the bargain basement deals in the final hours of Christmas shopping? (I know it doesn’t add up to 100%, but I had to leave out the dozens of microscopic religions and the tin-foil-hat wearing moonbats that we share air with)

Question Four: If it is a fact that it is better to give than receive, why oh why doesn’t Congress ‘GIVE’ us a break, instead of voting over and over to put us into Receivership?

Question Five: If everyone in Congress and the Administration believes that bi-partisanship is essential to a stable government, then how do we square that with the knowledge that bi-partisanship is how we got to where we are, poising for a Swandive into the abyss?

We are So Screwed….Merry Christmas to All Dumbplumber minions.



Friday, December 23, 2011

I Had a Dream





I had a dream this morning (actually a day dream). I dreamt that after Mitt Romney secured the Republican nomination (after the Dems had eliminated everyone else), Sarah Palin glommed onto the also-rans and mounted a Conservative Party challenge to the Brylcreem RINO candidate. I saw Allan West as VP, Newt as Secretary of State, Cain at Commerce, Bachmann at Justice and Paul Ryan at Treasury.

I also saw Huntsman as a tour director at the Tabernacle, Ron Paul as the ’Nurse Ratched’ at a Texas loon bin and Rick Perry as Texas Governor (anything else just isn’t big enough).

The long and short of it is a political apocalypse. Mittens wouldn’t know what hit him. It would be a ‘Mission to Save America’ from itself.

Palin mounts the stage with her team of committed conservatives and lays out the plan to save America, after telling us just how screwed we are. She would cite chapter, line and verse of our situation and point her finger at those that brought us to this dance. No sitting politician, banker or lobbyist, involved with our demise, would be spared. No vote would be asked for that didn’t come with a pledge to purge the rolls of Wall Street, Congress and Kst lobbying firms of the vermin that has put America on the brink of disaster.

I see the masses coming together, once they realize their plight, in groups that would need ten Super Bowl stadiums to seat. The roar of outrage would be deafening. America would mobilize to end the madness and send the Liberals, RHINOs and Socialists packing to the darkness of the cracks from where they came.

Uh, uh, uh. Harumpfh, snarful, kerpiffle. Sorry about that. Remember it was just a dream.

We are so Screwed, Dumbplumber

The Big Game


It came to me in the wee hours that the financial predicament we are facing may just well have a metaphoric comparison that we can understand, even if the Fed and our political leaders do not.

Congress, the President and the Fed have taken a ‘hike’ from the five yard line and have thrown a ‘Hail Mary’ pass from the end zone. So far, it isn’t about who is going to catch it. It’s about how high it was thrown; how far it was thrown; how many slo-mo shots will be taken of it in the air; how many time outs will be called while it’s in the air; how many commercials (fiddling by Congress) will run after the throw and whether or not the game will be called because of weather before the ball is caught.

About the only things for certain are: The game will NEVER end; the ball will never be caught (because it was never intended to be caught) and the spectators are trapped in the stadium, because the doors were nailed shut after kickoff.

But not to worry, no matter what you had when you got to the game, you won’t have it if you are ever allowed to leave.

We are So Screwed,



Digging Holes





It is often said, when you discover you are in a hole, stop digging.

Well, America, especially America’s leaders have been in a hole for quite awhile and they’re still digging. It could be argued that this trait is so important that in the future possessing the DNA of a Honey Badger will be necessary to hold public office.

And it took the longest time to realize that they weren’t digging with a couple of John Deere backhoes. No, it appeared that they had fired up a fleet of Buffalo Springfield steam shovels, that have a bucket that can hold six Chevy Silverados side by side, and were running them 24/7/365, in high gear.

As an aside, construction codes require that any trench more than five feet deep have safety ‘shoring’ to protect the diggers from collapse. Well folks, we could fall and mill every tree in America and you wouldn’t have nearly enough lumber to shore up the hole we’re in.

Then it occurred to me that we are confusing ‘digging a hole’ with a ‘Black Hole‘. The difference being one you continue to make bigger and the other consumes everything that comes near it and still wants more and more.

Of course, once something is consumed by a Black Hole, no one knows what happens to it. Sound familiar?

Yes my friends, a Black Hole far more accurately describes what is going on today. Our leaders can’t explain what happened to the taxes we paid last week, meanwhile they scheme to seize earnings of our heirs, into infinity and beyond. And they do this knowing full well that they will never be held accountable for what they do with what they take.

So from this day forward, you can live with the full knowledge that comparing our leaders with John Deere tractors is an insult to the tractors. Because every John Deere I know gives back far more than it takes.

We are So Screwed,


Sunday, December 18, 2011

Getting Hosed



Let me get this straight, everyone in power professes that we must honor the Constitution. Okay, let’s review.

The President is using his Cabinet and agencies as a cudgel to bludgeon commerce into submission, beating them like a drum with higher taxes, an endless permitting process, and onerous environmental regulations. Meanwhile, he has taken to military actions without congressional approval, spending billions pounding foreign military dictators into submission, so that the Muslim Brotherhood can take control of contested countries.

Congress, on the other hand, (which hasn’t passed a budget for almost three years) makes itself busy passing Spending Bills and semi-monthly Continuing Resolutions to keep the paychecks flowing and the Party going, between rounds of faux-arguments over raising the Debt Ceiling and ‘manufactured’ outrage over out of control spending, lack of border control, blatant voter fraud and unsustainable entitlements. But there’s nothing to see here. Everything is under control.

Meanwhile, Appellate Courts are ruling in favor of MORE spending, LESS personal responsibility and absolutely NO adherence to the Constitution. And those nine Ninnies on the Supreme Court are hearing landmark cases years after the damage has been done and hundreds of billions have gone out the door, at the expense of taxpayers. Oops, we bad. Where, pray tell, do I go to get my taxes back?

Nevermind that nowhere within the confines of Washington D.C., do we hear the words, “$100 trillion dollars in Debt and Unfunded Liabilities”.

We hear instead: It’s tax the rich, (even though it’s been established that, if you took all the wealth from the top 5% of the wealthy, it would run our government for less than eleven months), give it to the poor (that over 50% of which have refrigerators, televisions, tattoos and cell phones), build government (which gets 30 to 60 percent higher wages and benefits than the private sector). And the 800 lb gorilla in the room, extend unemployment benefits into the infinity and beyond. What could possibly go wrong?

In short, “We are so Screwed”.

It just occurred to me that Christopher Hitchens needs an epitath:

Christopher Hitchens
Athiest

At least it's a dry heat

Sunday, December 04, 2011

More What II



Liberals, Progressives and other assorted left-wing Loons keep portraying Conservatives as “haters“. Well Dumbplumber is here to tell you that this is a bunch of malarkey.

Lefties are confusing ‘hate’ with concern; hate with disappointment; hate with antipathy; hate with revulsion; hate with exasperation and hate with disgust. But “hate”, no way.

If you want to see hate, wait until the Moonbats stop receiving their formerly unending unemployment checks; stop receiving food stamps (the sale of which supports their drug addictions, tattoo collections and alcohol consumption); stop receiving their free healthcare (exacerbated by all the above); stop receiving their SSI benefits because it is discovered that their PTSD, ADD, ADHD and any other form of “D” disability has been deemed ‘manufactured’; stopped receiving Section 8 housing subsidies, because the original beneficiary, ‘Mom’ has been dead for five years, etc.,etc..

You will discover then, and only then, what true “hate” is.
………………………………......................................

Long before the California Primaries (June) the Main Stream Media will be telling us that “we” have picked a Republican candidate. As a point of order I might suggest that we picked “their” candidate, because all of “our” candidates were drummed out of the competition by “them”. (If they asked me to elaborate, I would refuse. It would only make their heads explode)
………………………………..........................................

You know we were screwed when the “Deficit Commission” eluded that they couldn’t agree on ANY cuts to our budget (not that we’ve had one for the past two years). They couldn’t even agree on cutting the $400 billion that everyone agrees is wasted in Social Security and Medicare, through fraud and abuse. Hoookaaayyyy!
……………………………….......................................................

No wonder everyone is buying more this Christmas. Seems that it is not untypical for a foreclosure to last over 600 days. Isn’t that nice to save those pesky old mortgage payments for Xmas presents?



Time for Honesty

It’s time for a little honesty in our Public Servants. Therefore, from this time forward, Dumbplumber suggests that all government officials, law enforcement, even the president, should NOT take the Oath of Office. Mostly because the oath commit’s the oath taker to “support and defend the Constitution“, which every day the office holders will most likely violate.

If there is to be an oath, let it be to an Official Code of Conduct, to the ACLU and to ambulance chasers everywhere that will sue public officials for as little as a casual, misinterpreted glance.

I suggest this for two reasons: One, officials fear the latter far more than the Constitution. And two, the Constitution for all its simplicity and clarity, could never be argued, with a strait face, in any court in America

Saturday, December 03, 2011

Checkmate

Checkmate

We hear so much about “compromise” and “consensus” these days, it must not occur to anyone that compromise and consensus is what brought us to this dance. The rocket scientists on Capitol Hill all agree that the “system is broken” but no one admits that they are the ones responsible for fixing it.

Let‘s all agree, Congress holds the purse strings of government. Check. Congress keeps raising the debt ceiling. Check. Congress continues to spend money well beyond the amount received in taxes. Check. Congress hasn’t produced a budget in over two years. Check. Instead Congress authorizes what is described as “continuing resolutions”, which is no where to be found in our Constitution. Check.

The President directs the agencies of government to do what He wants in spending their budgets. Check. The President directs the U.S. Treasury to backfill the spending shortfall by selling U.S. Debt to countries like China and Saudi Arabia, who really don’t like us very much. Check. The U.S. is currently borrowing about $1.5 trillion a year, or 40% of every dollar we spend. Check.

Everyone agrees that ‘excessive’ regulations stymie private enterprise and therefore discourage business, which results in lower tax revenue. Check.

However, these agencies continue to churn out over 90,000 pages of regulations each year, not one of which stimulates commerce. Check. But Congress nor the Administration has done anything to eliminate or even slow the tidal wave of regulations. Check.

Liberals believe that we can spend our way to prosperity, by borrowing money from our enemies and giving it to the unemployed, the disabled (no matter the level of disability), grifters, scammers and anybody else sucking at the government teat that will vote Democrat. Check.

Republicans (note how I did not say Conservatives) believe that expanding the tax base, by encouraging business through relaxing excessive regulations and lowering taxes, while cutting expenses is the most efficient way to prosperity. However “both” parties continue to give away taxpayer money to Agriculture, Manufacturing and Energy to maintain their campaign cash flow and voting blocks. Check.

Voting Americans continue to re-elect Congressmen, Senators and Presidents, who maintain this status quo. Check.

We are so Screwed. Double Check and Checkmate.

Dumbplumber





Finding Faith

Finding Faith

It was only a couple of weeks between a well intentioned phone call from some very nice lady, who asked if I studied the Bible and a visit from a local contractor, who was going door to door spreading the Word. To both I was polite, but firm when I said that I had a very personal and ongoing relationship with God. I talk, he listens.

But it got me to thinking, what is Faith?

Well, to some, faith is gathering and increasing the flock as my contractor friend was doing. To others it is getting up Sunday morning and attending services at their local house of worship, then getting home for a one o’clock kickoff. Yet to others it is kneeling at the bedside to utter prayers or to simply say grace at the dinner table.

We all know that Muslims pray five times a day, when they are not beating their wives for backtalk, killing their daughters for dating outside the religion or plotting to kill those that don’t share Mohammad’s teachings. Meanwhile, they proclaim they are the ‘religion of peace’, as long as your religion is also Islam. Nevermind that it is Islamic terrorists that are the source of 99% of regional conflicts around the world today.

But it isn’t only Muslims that are rigid theocratic idealogues. There are many over the world that make religion and faith the center of their lives without benefit of being clergy. Missionaries travel world over doing good deeds, while activist religious laypeople work tirelessly within communities giving comfort, distributing food, clothing and arranging shelter to those in need, while others volunteer to teach Christian values to youth and others as a need to be filled.

No sir, there may be no end to the way faith is expressed. But one thing is for sure, there is no end to those that pontificate what it should be. Myself, I will keep up the dialog until I’m told differently or finally just told to shut up. I know, I know it may be considered a nagging thing.

Dumbplumber

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Old Trucks Are the Future

Ok, so the Dumbplumber is an old truck junkie, Car Crazy to the bone. There I said it. I’ve been told that you can’t start recovery until you admit you have a problem. Well, if loving old trucks is an illness, mine is terminal. I have four pickup trucks from 67 through 72 and a ‘79 1-ton boom truck along with an ‘82 4X4 diesel (with 62 thousand ‘original’ miles, thank you very much) for good measure.


Okay, I keep the ‘72 Blazer and ‘67 step side as “project” trucks (both run) on non-op, but the rest I use in my water pump business, all licensed and insured.

72 Blazer.  The Dumbplumber thinks this is his car but really belongs to the Dust Bunny Queen

Call me crazy, but I can own, license and insure these old work trucks for less money than I can own one ‘new’ ¾ ton 4X4. Add to that, I can buy any part I need out of a catalog. Yes my bling loving friend, I can even buy cabs, motors and frames if the need arises and at a cost far less than a new truck. Nevermind that I always have a truck to drive while another gets repaired.

But let us just take a look at the economical aspect of this position. If I can get 12 to 15 mpg out of one or two of my $3,000 trucks, how many miles do I have to drive a new one getting 18mpg, when it costs $35,000 new, with another $3k to $4k a year to license and insure? And that doesn’t factor in the $10k you lose the moment you drive off the lot and another 8% a year in depreciated value of the vehicle. Keeping in mind that my forty year old trucks really stopped depreciating about 20 years ago and actually hold their value or rise with improvements and repairs over time.


It has become so lopsided that there is a cottage industry in restoring these old trucks into retro vehicles promoting all kinds of businesses using vintage lettering and worn patina finishes to attract attention. But under the skin these rolling billboards have power windows, A/C, power steering and fuel injected engines pumping out serious horsepower. Not to mention the head snapping stares from ‘blingmobile’ drivers in the other lane.

Nothing really says cool like a guy in a $60,000 dollar quad-cab diesel, all jacked up, with monster tires, watching your tail lights disappear into the horizon, just after the light changes. Now that’s a feeling no doctor can prescribe at any price. Dumbplumber
For Those Paying Attention:

A question for the President, the Attorney General, U.S. Law makers and law enforcement:

Once it is demonstrated and well established that our citizens have been victimized, bankrupted and demoralized through crony capitalism, bogus climate science, campaign fraud, pay to play politics and the Enviro-Nazi, eco-terrorist, jackboot-on-the-neck-of-commerce policies of both major Parties, will anyone be surprised when the offended rise up and start taking their pound of flesh from the offenders?


ADDITIONALLY….

“Our Civil and Constitutional Rights are ONLY those we are prepared to fight and die for. The Constitution and Bill of Rights are for academics to argue long after the bodies of the ‘wronged’ have been buried and forgotten.

Enforcement of those rights will be on those, through ignorance, felony, perceived authority, or position, who mistakenly did not fear injury or death.”





Saturday, November 19, 2011

Dear Mrs. Palin

To Sarah Palin, Wasilla, Alaska

Dear Mrs. Palin,

I have admired you since September of 2008.

I supported your campaign with donations.

I believe you were the right candidate for this Country.

I supported your PAC when you were thinking of running for president.

I was devastated when you decided not to run, even though I knew it would be a meat grinder for you and your family.

I suspect, to this day, that you are the ONLY person that could accomplish what is necessary to save this Country.

I read your recent article in the Wall Street Journal, which confirms all my suspicions.

However, if you’re not a candidate, you’re just whistling in the dark.

Either you run as a third party Conservative candidate, with all the Tea Party and Conservative members of Congress backing you, which would ignite middle America and the Conservative base, or go back to Wasilla, shut up, and watch the meltdown. Because you know, I know and America knows that there is no candidate running today that would do what you would have done.

And absent that candidate, this is the end of America as I have known it for 62 years.

Without you, We are so screwed.

Dumbplumber

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Saving America

Now I know what you're going to say.  Third party campaigns are the kiss of death for both the Third Party and the Party they left.  But before I make my point, it would be hard to argue that continuing on with what we have now is lunacy 'cubed', unsustainable and doomed to failure itself.
So, having said this, here's my idea.  Sarah Palin/Allen West under the Conservative Party.  But before they go there, they get Paul Ryan, Eric Cantor, all the Tea Party Congressmen and Senators along with Rick Santorum (if he can contain his ego), Herman Cain, Michele Bachman and the likes of Mitt Romney, Rick Perry, and the rest of the second and third tier to go along with "Saving America". 
Saving America is so simple it's stupid.  We're going down the tubes and no amount of politics, bi-partisanship, consensus or the Mother of All Boondoggles, COMPROMISE is going to save us.  The Super Committee makes my point.
Time to tell it like it is, give America the facts, let them know that there is no way out, UNLESS we take a chainsaw to Congress, not a leaf blower. 
If we do this and then lose, then at least I can say we tried.  If we don't try, we don't deserve to be saved and the Mayans were right, the end comes December 2012! 

Thursday, November 03, 2011

The Guide to Idiot Economics



If you think taking from the working and giving to the slackers, deadbeats and dirtballs is good, then you’re an Idiot.

If you accept that stealing from the rich and giving it to the poor, the lazy, the drug and alcohol addicted, the self-inflicted unemployable and professional scammers is a good idea, you’re an Idiot.

If you are certain unemployment and welfare stimulates the economy, you’re most certainly and Idiot.

If you believe “redistributing” wealth makes everyone rich, you’re a babbling Idiot.

If you have concluded that government is more efficient than the private sector, you’re absolutely an Idiot.

If you postulate that adding over 85,000 pages of Federal and State regulations, each year, is good for business, you’re an oatmeal drooling Idiot.

If you have swallowed the notion that we need the government more than the government needs us, you’re a hopeless, unredeemable Idiot.

If you signed on to the idea that THIS government is of, by, and for the people, you’re a short-sighted, uncomprehending, oblivious Idiot.

If you envision that money coming from the Government is not money being supplied by taxpayers, well, you’re not just an idiot, you’re a flaming Loon.

If you are a Socialist, Marxist, Communist, Leftist, Libtard, Progtard or Eco-Nazi, you’re not only an Idiot, but you're more a part of the problem than part of the answer.

Dumbplumber

Economics for Idiots

Economics for Idiots

Dumbplumber has been looking for a way to illustrate, to complete morons, what will happen if we don’t change our ways. ‘Economics for Idiots’ may well be that vehicle. It goes something like this:

If your outgo is bigger than your income, your future is unsustainable and you will fail.

If you are borrowing 1.4 trillion dollars every year to pay for your entitlements and costs of operation, you will fail.

If you are housing illegal aliens and giving them free healthcare, free food and free educations, you will fail.

If 30% of your prison inmates are illegal aliens, you will fail.

If you are giving your public employees 100% more in pay and benefits than their taxpaying private sector counterparts, you will fail.

If you are providing public sector pensions that exceed the salary of the President of the United States, you will fail.

If you are giving unemployable slackers benefits for not working and paying all their healthcare, you will fail.

If you pay public sector workers twice what a private sector company will accept to perform a task, you will fail.

If you ignore hundreds of billions in waste, fraud and abuse, you will fail.

If you strive to create a majority voting base dependent on your largess, you will fail.

If you think taxing the producers to pay for the takers is a good idea, you will fail.

If you insist on ignoring the Constitution of the United States, you will eventually fail.

We are so screwed...2012

Dumbplumber

Tuesday, November 01, 2011

Reality Check


You know, there are moments that one discovers complete clarity, an overwhelming revelation or inspirational epiphany. An example of these moments are when you stub your toe crossing a darkened room; when you slam your finger in the car door; or when you catch your foreskin in your pant zipper. (Well that might be more clarity than you need)

In the wee hours of the morning, I had one of those moments. Melted down to its simplest terms: WE ARE SO SCREWED.

Let’s review: Since before Franklin Roosevelt, America has been going in the hole, some years more than others, but always in the hole.

Two: Over those years, waste, fraud and abuse of power has just gotten bigger and bigger, along with the social benefits granted by every Administration and Congress. (For those of you from Rio Linda and Vallejo this means ‘money for nothing’)

Three: Ignoring the unsustainable nature of these benefits, voters returned incumbent politicians to office, year after year, some for 30 to 40 years, upon election cycle promises of “austerity”, “balanced budgets”, “transparency” and FREE ICE CREAM FOR EVERYONE!  So America clearly lacks the intelligence to vote for its own salvation.

Four: With the election of Barack Obama, America was given a big dose of reality as to political corruption, secret back room deals (defined as transparency), crony capitalism, election fraud, abuse of power, blatant violations of the Constitution, redistribution of wealth cloaked as “leveling the playing field” and a snapshot of a president, who doesn’t know the word patriotism, can’t cite the Pledge of Allegiance or hold his hand over his heart, doesn’t know the difference between ‘corpsman’ and “corpse man“, and has indebted this nation more than the first 42 presidents in history combined. And Obama still has a 44% approval rating!

Five: Statistically, less than half of eligible voters cast ballots for our president.

These words sums up exactly the situation: WE ARE SO SCREWED.

Dumbplumber

Friday, October 28, 2011

The Daily What

The Daily What Have you heard about Herman Cain’s latest verbal flub, miscue, audible bauble, blunder, boner, bungle…? You get the idea. Why yes you have. Because this guy can’t fart through his Jockeys that the MSM isn’t pouncing on his every emission.
*************************************
 Have you heard ‘O’Biden’s’ latest screw-up or Obama’s stumbling or bumbling when his teleprompter is MIA. Why, no you’ve not. Unless you see it on the Internet.

 *********************************************
President Obama has confidence that he can win the 2012 election despite his low poll numbers. Well, of course he can win. Who needs good poll numbers when you have voter fraud, election fraud, polling station intimidation, no ‘ID’ requirements on election day, registration fraud, ‘activist’ transportation of Liberal voters on election day with beer and cigarettes for ‘correct‘ vote commitment, union transportation of ballot boxes, union members counting ballots, Chicago style vote counting (two for me, one for thee), computer hacking of voting machines and brainwashing of millions of voters in believing that they will remain on the entitlement bandwagon as long as he is president. And NEVER forget that tens of millions of voters vote the straight Democrat ticket, no matter what ignorant, self-indulgent, delusional dimwit is running. **************************************
I see that Rick Santorum is taking a swipe at Herman Cain for not taking a strong stance on abortion. Well Rick, let me let you in on a secret. Abortion (as opposed to defense, delivering the mail and settling disputes between states), is a states rights or individual rights issue. Hopefully this doesn’t derail his campaign, as it has yours, because the only issue about abortion is WHO is paying for it. Dumbplumber

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

The Bigfoot of Cats

On the tenth anniversary of finishing our new home also marks the arrival of a tiny kitten. Wifey and I have made a profound discovery. Many have been to our home, but other than ourselves less than five other people have ever seen our cat, our neighbor excluded. (He caught her twice in a live trap)

We don’t have a lot of visitors, but those that do come by only hear stories about the schizophrenic cat because she never reveals herself to others. And of those that have seen her, none have ever touched her or been within reach to do so. We did have one visitor about five years ago, my former grade school teacher, that actually had dinner with us and watched the cat casually stroll across the living room. We would like to use his confirmation as evidence of her existence , however, he took his testimony to the grave two years after his visit. It has become such a joke over the last ten years: Fewer people have seen our cat than have seen Bigfoot.

When we say it’s our cat, we really don’t mean it. She trained us to feed her ten years ago, never left, and has taught us to do many more things for her since. We actually thought about posting a story about the cat on our blogs with photos of the cat’s favorite resting spots, one near the dining table window, (photo) another near the office window, another on the railing sheltered by a wild plum tree and of course the one on the bed. However, these photos would be much like those of the places Bigfoot was spotted, but instead of footprints, we only have cat hair to mark as evidence.
Office window spying on the quail.

We could also do a time lapse photo of her food bowl, slowly diminishing, but you would be confused that the water does not. That is because she prefers either the toilet bowl or her favorite larva infested stagnant pool outside in the garden bowls left for our local birds and other wildlife.

Sparky's afghan on the bed
And speaking of birds, we are left with much evidence of breakfast birds, lunch birds and the occasional afternoon ‘snack’ bird parts littering our yard and deck area. No, she is not a neat cat.

However an argument can be made that it is the local foxes leaving their calling cards. But I maintain that foxes do not do their bird hunting during the daylight hours and they certainly don’t drag their feasts near our house for devouring. No, it’s the cat. It is our policy (due to the many predators here ‘bouts) that we leave the cat indoors when we leave overnight. We joke that she is stationed as a ‘guard cat’, and I must report that, over the past decade, nothing has gone missing with her on duty.
About our only complaint is that we receive little in return for providing food, water, shelter and security from the cat. Her interaction with us is minimal at best. She sleeps on the wife’s side of the bed, she allows very little petting (preferring to present her tail for stroking), passes infrequently over the sofa for the cursory touch, only lounges outside on the deck when we are there, as guards, and spends the entire day lurking outside, scouting hidey holes and available critters.
Favorite railing sunning spot

She will not come when called and prefers showing up for her four o’clock treat, somewhere between 3 and 5, depending on the time of year and accuracy of her fur covered kitty clock. Timing has never been her strong suit. But she is given credit for never having clawed, chewed or shredded the furniture. That, she saves for her personal pedestal (photo) which has been fashioned into an omage to Edgar Winter.

Shredded cat perch.

Overall I should not complain. Having never been a cat-person, I do appreciate her low maintenance, but live in wonder at how many 50lb bags of cat food has been consumed by our 4lb cat over the years. About the only thing she demands of me (since I refuse to acknowledge that she is my cat) is to open the back door, then close it, then open it, then close it, then open it, then…well, you get the idea.




And on this tenth anniversary of her arrival, I would be less than honest if I didn’t confess that on more than one occasion I have dreamt of the day when we would be cat-free. No cleaning the litter box, no vacuuming the cat hair, no lugging 40 lb. bags of Cat Chow out of Costco, no listening to the wifey’s daily, screeching/calling of the cat, which no doubt is enjoyed by neighbors on both sides. But on the bright side, her going missing, or worse, could be assuaged by popping the cork on a new bottle of 25 year old Single Malt and hailing a toast to one of the least troublesome intrusions ever into our lives.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

The Vote is Broke

The Vote is Broke

Let me get this straight. Sarah Palin couldn’t run for president because her approval ratings dropped to 39%.

But Mitt Romney will be the Republican candidate and he can’t break out of a 25% approval ceiling. And he doesn’t share one voter with Palin. Just saying.

We are so screwed.

Dumbplumber

Saturday, October 08, 2011

Digging Deeper

A recent poll of overseas military personnel reveals that 31% of our soldiers think Iraq and Afghanistan are a waste of time and effort.

Digging deeper, the Dumbplumber discovered: The poll did not reveal that 69% actually wanted to go home, but there would be no job when they got there. Of those, half would go home if they could take their weapons, 50,000 rounds of ammo and get a free bus ticket to Washington, D.C..

Monday, October 03, 2011

Muslim America.....NOT

I’m still digesting the notion that America is a Muslim nation. And here’s why.

How many Muslims are buried at Gettysburg? How many Muslims are buried at Arlington?

No, better yet, how many Muslims are buried in the 136 National cemeteries from the Abraham Lincoln National to the Zachary Taylor National Cemetery?

These cemeteries are occupied by hundreds of thousand, if not millions, of military personnel. And that’s just within our borders. And we should never forget the hundreds of thousands of Americans buried in foreign lands, lands that they gave their lives to protect from the likes of Hitler, Mussolini, Hirohito and Kaiser Wilhelm II. And I would suggest that there aren’t enough Muslim bodies buried among them, that if resurrected, could run a Seven Eleven franchise.

Moreover, contrary to the popular notion, among Liberals, that the Civil War was fought over slavery (which it wasn’t, slavery was an ancillary issue) slavery would not have existed were it not for Muslims. Yes my unwashed, uninformed, mentally challenged critics, it was Muslims that rounded up the natives and paraded them to the shores of Africa to be “cord-wooded” onto slave ships and sent to America and other shores for sale.

Indeed, Muslims were routinely gathering and selling slaves as far back as 700 A.D, if not earlier, to fulfill the demand for labor to oppressive regimes in Asia, Europe and the Mediterranean.

So to imply that America is a Muslim nation reveals a serious level of historical ignorance, as well as a twisted attempt to rewrite America‘s past. On a good day, at best, we could credit Muslims for supplying the labor to make tobacco and cotton our biggest export of the 19th century. But hey, I could be wrong.

Dumbplumber

Saturday, October 01, 2011

Don't Dare Me

It apparently is a universal belief that when all Hell breaks loose (which no one disputes will be not “if” but “when“) anarchy will be the rule and not the exception. Roving bands of armed hooligans will be robbing and killing innocent citizens for their gold, guns and food. Meanwhile, law enforcement will be virtually non-existent, especially in rural areas, where essential infrastructure is sparse.

What is in dispute however is what triggers the collapse and how to stop it.

I would suggest that the beginning of the end is the adoption of Socialist/Marxist/Fascist rules, regulations and laws. Therefore, ‘taking out’ these influences early, as shortcut to head off the inevitable, should not be off the table. It certainly would be more efficient to end it now, as opposed to later, when we might lack the ammo to properly defend ourselves.

Or stated another way, “Don’t put the crosshairs on a Fascist or Marxist and dare me NOT to pull the trigger. It might just save the Union“.

Dumbplumber

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Just the Facts Ma'am

Let’s see if I get this straight. One of Obama’s ‘bundlers’ and major contributors is up to his ‘hamhockers’ in the Solyndra Energy startup.

He and his other co-harts visit the White House about 20 times in under 2 months and come away with a loan guarantee of half a billion bucks, which takes second place to investments by venture capitalists, even though the WH budget office did not like the investment, which had already been denied by the Bush administration.

Then in a little over a year, Solyndra has waded through all but a few million of the loan, files bankruptcy and will surrender the rest and maybe more to pay bankruptcy attorneys.

The initial investors walk away mostly whole (and maybe more) to take the Fifth Amendment before Congress and breath easier knowing that Congress may discover criminal wrongdoing, but it will be up to the Eric Holder/Obama justice dept. to pursue criminal prosecution, like they did with the Black Panthers.

Yeah, good luck with that one.

Treason

Treason

trea-son [tree-zuhn]: the betrayal of a trust or confidence; breach of faith; treachery.

["I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States."]

Any questions?

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Raining Ethics

The Hill: “A liberal advocacy group is filing an ethics complaint against Rep. Darrell Issa, alleging that the California Republican has repeatedly used his public office for personal gain.”

Looks like Palin’s ‘buddies’ have moved to the lower 48. It’s what you do when things get slow in Wasilla.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Foxes in the Hen House

CNN is going to host a Tea Party debate and folks wonder why Sarah Palin hasn’t jumped into the race.

Here’s a clue: The foxes are going to hold a chicken coup inspection.

Need I say more.

Dumbplumber

Picking Winners

So, Mitt (Mittens) Romney is ecstatic over his endorsement from Tim Pawlenty.

Memo to Mitt: It’s one thing to be endorsed by a winner. It’s another to be endorsed by the first loser.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Talk about Irony

Obama blames Bush for the “hole” that he “inherited”.

(I’ll let the intellectuals detail, with unending citations, links and footnotes, the trillions of dollars added to our debt, the tens of trillions accumulated to our unfunded liabilities, the tens of thousands of regulations heaped upon our already overburdened businesses and the explosion of Big Government.)

Even if it is true, pity the poor schmuck that comes after Obama.

Wednesday, September 07, 2011

Things Change

Time was, I had done so much without anything for so long, that I believed I could do anything with nothing.

On the other hand, Obama has done nothing for so long with so much, that he now can do nothing with everything.

Monday, September 05, 2011

Running Mouths

Seems that Jimmy Hoffa Jr. has declared war on Conservatives and the Tea Party. Guess that’s what you do when you can’t do anything else. Memo to Jr.: Don’t look now but you’re part of the problem, not the answer.

Hey Jr., when you say something worth listening to, let me know. Meanwhile, if you think 12% of working America is going to take over the other well armed 88%, then you’re more nuts than you sound. Go ahead, you get the first shot, but remember to never write a check your ass can't cover.

Saying Dick

When asked what he thought about Sarah Palin’s presidential possibilities, I couldn’t help but notice that Dick Cheney mentioned that he was, “troubled by Palin’s resigning from the Alaska governorship before her term ended“.

Well, ain’t that special. I guess that you ,Dick, didn’t get the memo about it being a completely fruitless endeavor to remain in office, in Alaska, while paying millions out of your own pocket fighting frivolous lawsuits. Lawsuits, by the way that have ALL been dismissed. Or stated another way, an exercise in futility. You know, kind of like your explaining going back to Halliburton for about 15 minutes to receive your $40 million dollar pension.

Moreover, it seems to me, sir Richard, that you were vice president when Bush Jr. decided it was a good idea to give free medicine to about 40 million people. You were also vice-president when ‘43’ waffled on the notion that people who couldn’t qualify for a line of credit at Sears could miraculously buy a $300, 000 dollar home.

Nevermind that Saddam had threatened his dad, Bush Jr. kept the Iraq war going long after the new government stretched Saddam’s neck. And it continues to this day. In fact, there is no piece of real estate that we have invaded in the last 50 years that we don’t maintain a presence.

And while you, sir Richard, were writing your book, thousands of Americans have died in places that we didn’t belong long after we claimed our job was done there. So while you were condemning Sarah Palin for leaving her post, you had long ago abdicated your responsibility for occupying lands abandoned by the U.S. in the name of freedom, lands that to this day are threatened by America’s enemies.

No Mr. Cheney, until you clean up the explanations to your own messes, you might refrain from commenting on those who have yet to be accused of nation building, expanding government or destroying an economy.

Therefore, you shouldn’t say Dick.

Dumbplumber

Sunday, September 04, 2011

Doing Nothing

Has anyone else noticed the Federal Government suing so many folks for trying to do something….stop illegal immigration, build a border fence, explore for energy, build airplanes in a right to work state, etc.

Meanwhile no one is suing the Federal Government for doing nothing….oh yeah, right, you have to get permission to do that. But is anybody asking for it?

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Selling Newspapers

This is a response to recent newspaper accounts critical of the new Community Services District Board and Management, who are acting in the best interest of the Community:

Seems that every family has a crazy uncle, however, ours happens to own a newspaper. And ever since the publisher of the Mt Echo took it upon himself to pick and choose his own facts instead of asking for clarity from those he has targeted to malign, one must wonder if his tinfoil hat is experiencing some interference.

Sensationalizing a headline is one thing. But willful ignorance and fabrication in a story is quite another. I have attended several Community Service District (CSD) meetings and my one observation is that he asks far more questions in his articles and editorials than he does at the meetings. In fact, at the last required ‘public input meeting’ for the Municipal Service Review (MSR) the Echo publisher asked NO questions at all. Perhaps honest, direct answers stifles his creative juices.

And while he asks no questions, he does spend considerable effort phoning government officials, sticking his nose into their fiefdoms, requesting comments on documents generated for the benefit of the CSD and the citizens of this valley. Nevermind that the controversial document (the MSR) was intentionally developed to go far beyond the scope of the ‘offended’ agencies, due to its many other purposes, as detailed by Valarie Lakey the week before. I make no apologies for fees paid to a private consultant, when they are less than government lackeys with an agenda.

The MSR wasn’t added into law until 2000 under Govt. code 56000 and is, in part, “designed to capture and analyze information about governance, structures and efficiencies of service providers and identify opportunities for greater co-ordination and cooperation between providers”, (Contra Costa LAFCO). YES, EIGHT YEARS ‘BEFORE’ OUR RESCUE BEGAN.

So, for those little bitty minds at the Echo and Shasta LAFCO, the Fall River CSD in general and John Van den Berg in particular was acting, not just within their jurisdiction, but under the laws governing Special Districts when they reached out to other districts for ‘co-ordination and co-operation‘, as untimely as it may seem.

Therefore, I apologize for the Mt. Echo NOT discovering the incompetence, fraud, embezzlement and irresponsibility of previous CSD administrations sooner. Terry Briggs

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Our Contenders

Oh, I don’t know, of the top Republican presidential contenders, which ones are campaigning on:

A) Adherence to the Constitution,

B) Shrinking the size of government,

C) Promoting personal responsibility,

D) Cutting regulations?

Yeah, I didn’t see one either.

Monday, August 08, 2011

Sound Advice

If Obama heeds Rahm Immanuel’s advice to, “Never waste a crisis”, I suggest you buckle up. Because Barack is gonna hand us a “Doozy“.

Thursday, August 04, 2011

Palin's Opening Salvo

Dumbplumber has taken the initiative of drafting an opening salvo for President Palin. It was originally written for a State candidate, but revised for the position of president:

Good Evening ladies and gentlemen,

I shouldn’t be here tonight. I shouldn’t have to be. I should be home watching a hockey game or having dinner with my family. But I’m not.
I have forsaken my family, my favorite pastimes and many think my sanity to be with you tonight, not because I want to be here, but because I need to be here.

America is NOT in the tank because our political leaders care, but because they don’t care… for the taxpayers, they don’t care… about the future and they most certainly haven’t learned anything about history.

No, I’m here because I must be here. I must be here to give all of you some idea of what it would be like to once again live in a country where everyone could be optimistic about their futures, where everyone could depend on their leaders to look out for their rights, welfare and security. Folks, we are well beyond the time to consider the needs of lobbyists, special interest groups and gratuitous environmentalists and begin to consider the best interests of the taxpayers that make our government engine work.

With wild abandon, we have sped our way to the edge of the abyss, but it’s time to slam on the brakes and claw our way back to something that resembles reality and let American ingenuity, productivity and creativity work its time tested results. Time to resurrect America from the dustbin of failure and let it rise from the ashes of a fire that was ignited by those with more ambition than consideration for the citizens.

It is a matter of record that while ecological activists, union bosses, the barons of the bureaucratic process and corporate lobbyists were stampeding Washington for their pieces of the economic pie, America was being elevated from the world’s largest economy to a balance sheet more resembling a European socialist nation.

It doesn’t take a Wharton economist to know what was taking place. We were spending and spending and taxing and spending until, we were bowing and scraping to our enemies, begging them to lend us money.

And how did the voters react? First, they voted for a change of course in 2010. It was a landslide statement to Washington that business as usual had to stop. But did Congress hear you? No, I didn’t think they did. They did however slow the runaway race to the edge.

So, not heeding the ring of the recession bell, what did Washington D.C. do? Well, it kept doing what it has always done, tax, fine, fee and penalize its citizens to raise more money while simultaneously spending itself into the toilet. They learned nothing from their predicament and their voting records prove it.

The question is whether you folks have figured it out. This election isn’t about me, it’s about you. It’s about your future here in America.

What this election means to you is a chance to start climbing out of this hole and doing it with the support of those elected to represent you, not the collective leeches of society, who have sucked all the air out of the room and all the money out of the treasury. It is far beyond the time to recognize what makes this Country work.

It is time to take our Nation back, scuttle what has been sinking us while adopting what has historically made us great. We aren’t sunk yet, but the waves are lapping over the gunnels. The paying passengers are leaving in droves and the vultures are circling to gorge on the morsels who refuse to leave. Make no mistake folks, there are vultures who fully intend to engorge themselves with the assets left behind, by those seeking self preservation rather than enrichment, assets that will be sold to the highest bidder, no matter how low it is.

I am fully prepared to start bailing the water from the ship. I am willing to do whatever it takes to set America right, no matter whose feelings get hurt. Time to let new leaders do the work that hasn’t been done for decades.

Thank you.

Tuesday, August 02, 2011

Buying it Forward

Buying it Forward

It hardly does justice to observe that Liberals share much, if not most, of their DNA with raving Loons. Evidenced by Jimmy Carter‘s tenure. After losing his second run at the presidency, it could not be ignored that millions still voted for him, and they were allowed to breed afterwards, even though to vote for him you had to be inbred already.

What else can account for the mental acuity that believes you can borrow yourself to prosperity, spend yourself out of debt and drink yourself into sobriety.

For example: If there is NO risk of borrowing and raising the Debt Ceiling why doesn’t the government just borrow 50 or 60 trillion bucks, then cut million dollar checks to every American? Talk about a party. And pay it back? Hell no. We’re not paying it back now!

Another example: If unions are such a great deal (understand, corrupt union pensions are already trillions under funded) then why isn’t every American unionized. Yes, paper boys and window washers with negotiated wages, full health and pension benefits. What could go wrong?

No, for Liberals, Progressives and other assorted Socialists and Marxists the trick is a careful balancing act of buying enough votes to win elections, (who either already are entitlement junkies or are members of unions easily directed by their thug representatives) but not buying any more than you need to win. All of which is evidenced by the last few trillion being thrown at public and private sector unions to fully fund their jobs, health plans and pensions.

Problem is, non-unionized Americans are onto the scam. While they represent over 80% of America’s taxpayers, they realize 0% of the stimulus/investment/infrastructure spending spree, but only represent about 48% of active voters.

Which brings me to the Libtard notion that government creates jobs. Except for street vendors, perpetual yard sales and E-Bay mavens, we are already working for the government. Try not paying your taxes and see how much you have left when Uncle Sam is done with you.

Sunday, July 31, 2011

New Leadership

For years Congress has had Ron Paul. Last year we got Rand Paul. With the new debt bill passing, we will soon have RuPaul.

Timing is Everything

Whoa, it just has been announced, by Senator Mitch McConnell, that all parties are very close to a Debt Ceiling deal. Meanwhile on an unrelated matter, my sphincter is screaming for K-Y or Vaseline. Coincidence, I think not!

Thursday, July 07, 2011

Casey and the Cookie Jar

Casey and the Cookie Jar

I am about fed up with the Legal Analysts, Constitutional experts and Harvard Appelate specialists telling me, in righteous indignation, that “the system worked” with Casey Anthony. And adding insult to injury, they go on to state that the courtroom is not a place for justice, it is a place where the State makes its case. Horse Feathers. If it had worked, she would have woven her blankets into a rope.

No, Ms Anthony is as guilty as sin. She knows it, her parents know it, her attorneys know it and I know it. And for some reason 12 jurors witnessing the behavior, actions and evidence generated by this low life skank, somehow missed the logic, reason and common sense, that is as obvious as the aluminum foil hat on Harry Reid‘s head.

Many years ago, while on a visit to my Grandmother’s house in Oregon, I was accused of plundering the cookie jar. Now to be clear, this jar set next to the back door, which means it was already an attractive nuisance. I mean, putting a cookie jar RIGHT next to the door is just a bit too much for a 9 year old. Well long story short, this entire episode didn’t go well for moi.

Grandma pointed out that earlier there were several brownies in the jar. And since her and I were alone at the house all day and Grandma hadn’t eaten any, she felt it was a pretty good guess that I was the culprit, crumbs on my shirt notwithstanding.

This pretty much sums up Casey Anthony’s defense, sleazebag notwithstanding.

You don’t put duct tape around the head of a person that is already dead. You DON’T make an accident look like homicide. You don’t sit in jail, accused of murder, for 2 ½ years over an accident. You don’t have your 2 year old daughter missing for 31 days and NOT call the police. You don’t go on a party binge, while half of Orlando is out looking for your missing child. And you don’t lie when the truth is on your side.

No, the experts are wrong. Court, obviously, is where you go to beat the truth and revise history. So the experts can take their righteous indignation and stuff it.

Tuesday, July 05, 2011

What now for Casey Anthony?

1) Where will Casey sleep after July 5?

2) Will she be getting an invite to her high school reunion?

3) How long before she gets her first welfare check?

4) Other than Politics or the Law, what is Casey qualified for?

5) Has she received an offer from Larry Flint yet?

6) Wonder what her profile on EHarmony.com will look like.

7) Will Gloria Allred negotiate her book deal?

8) Will Casey be the Poster Girl for N.O.W.?

9) Does the Gerber Life Insurance Company still have to pay?

10) Will it be a sniper or a mugger that delivers a just verdict ?

11) Will Casey be endorsing a Duct Tape manufacturer?

12) How many trailer parks will be torched tonight?

13) Is it true that O.J. Simpson has told Casey to stay out of Nevada?

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Whining in the Big Apple

Whining in The Big Apple

So, Glenn Beck gets assaulted in a park in New York City, so what? People get assaulted in New York every hour and we don’t see it on the front page.

For the past 3 years, Beck has been the History-Teacher-in-Chief on Fox News. He has illustrated in painful detail the inner workings of Marx, Lenin, Stalin, Che and Soros. So it is with some surprise that he is surprised that he got his day spoiled by some street thugs.

Doesn’t he know that Soros hires people to watch, follow and basically screw with him? I mean, George knows what Glenn had for breakfast and what he didn’t get between the sheets last night. He hires people to screen his scat for any signs of bleeding hemorrhoids or Tapioca pudding. For Christ’s sake, Beck is rich and influential, but Soros is uber-rich and spills more than Beck makes. I mean, Glenn doesn’t make enough to cover Media Matter’s Christmas (oops, I mean Winter Festival) bonuses.

Beck is supposed to be a really smart guy, he knows all the Amendments to our Constitution, he can name every vice President since Washington, he can cite the preamble backwards in three languages. Hell, he’s so smart he decided to take himself off Fox News and go to an Internet format program with about 2500 viewers. (Well okay, maybe that’s not so smart). So why did he not cogitate that Soro’s many political army soldiers would be laying in wait for just such a moment.

Glenn, buy a vowel, get a clue. You are a walking, talking enemy of forces well beyond your defenses. Time to step back or step up to a position where either you become completely obscure or actually hire some bodyguards like a lot of people well below your means do every day to protect their safety.

I mean, it’s not like you are wandering around some city park in Bohunk, Iowa. It’s New York City, dummy. The cesspool of Liberals, not smart enough to live anywhere else.

So if you insist on living there, don’t complain when you get your lunch handed to you. Don’t make me call you a ‘Mucking Foron’. Dumbplumber

Sunday, June 26, 2011

No Threat of Palin

Having sworn not to write any further rants involving Obama, I was considering to do the same about Sarah Palin. I mean what ‘new’ comments can one say about someone that has been scrutinized with a microscope, slammed from both sides of the political isle, and mischaracterized, not just by the Left, but by virtually every elitist RINO, MSM commentator, political pundit and hack comedian in the country.

But through the fog of controversy, Dumbplumber may have stumbled upon one aspect of Mrs. Palin that no one has bothered to cover. That being, who does Sarah Palin NOT threaten? Now for those of you who consider themselves speed mis-readers, I offer you that last sentence again. Who does Sarah Palin NOT threaten?

Of course she threatens the Left, because she believes in the Constitution, personal responsibility and smaller government. She threatens elitist Republicans, because she has a history of rooting out greed, corruption and waste, no matter what side of the isle it is from. And she threatens the slackers, scammers, professional deadbeats and anyone wrongly ‘milking’ the system for personal gain. But let’s look at who she doesn’t threaten.

Like anyone else, I started looking at home. Does she threaten me? Not hardly. I work hard, pay my taxes, don’t suck off the government teat, don’t ask for much of anything but a level playing field and enjoy the fruits of my labor. So next I looked down the street at my neighbors. Does she threaten any of them? Not hardly, from an elderly neighbor on my left, who is enjoying his retirement, that he invested into for over 5 decades, to the one on my right who is a Highway Dept. employee, who is an essential element in our rural transportation system. Then it was time to look farther afield.

About 300 yards to the east is our Community Hospital. About the only changes she threatens them with is a cutting of the senseless bureaucracy that haunts hospitals all across America. Under her leadership, we could probably expect more money spent on patient care and a whole lot less on lawyers, which have helped make our medical system the most expensive on the planet. More resources devoted to equipment, medicine and services and a lot less on unfathomable, unreadable reports, surveys and duplicitous documents.
To the west, we have our commercial district. I seriously doubt that cutting taxes, removing barriers to success and streamlining the permitting, inspection and planning processes would be a threat to any of these businesses. Not to mention putting a screaming halt to endless, mindless and indefensible environmental obstacles, meant more to halt commerce than preserve the environment. Nope, no threat there.

I can’t even imagine our local Liberal, Obama loving, tree huggers being threatened. Beyond the fact that their feelings get hurt when they discover that Chris Matthews, Rachael Maddow and the entire MSM had been lying, distorting and fabricating criticisms about Palin ever since she took the stage in Ohio as McCain’s running mate. You see, most of America thinks Palin said, “I can see Russia from my porch”, when it was actually Tina Fey that coined that often repeated, but never disputed, stupid comment.

In fact, with a profound lack of bureaucrats, investment bankers, activist lawyers and environmental whackos among our ranks, our little community will most likely fare pretty well under President Palin, that is except for a few entitlement and welfare junkies whose only skill seems to be collecting their checks on the 1st and the 15th ,adding to their beer can castles and making pot holders out of their empty cigarette packages.

Of course, we have a few lost souls that need our support, but every community does. But it cannot be argued that the further away from Washington, D.C., the State Capitals and urban centers you get, the fewer ‘dependent’ citizens you find. And we are further than most from the cesspools of social engineering.

No folks, it isn’t about who will suffer under Palin. It is about the vast majority who will live, prosper and thrive under her leadership. A story that has sadly been lost under the barrage of criticism fabricated, amplified then broadcast across America, as the gospel according to Leftists, Liberals and the ‘Scared Shitless of Sarah’ would have us believe.

Dumbplumber

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Dumbplumber Shorts 18

Let’s see if I’m getting this straight.

I’m told it’s un-Constitutional to withhold legislative pay to lawmakers who fail to produce a balanced budget. However, it IS Constitutional for those same lawmakers, against our objections, to encumber, indebt and otherwise shackle, not just taxpayers, but generations of descendants with obligations they will NEVER be able to pay off.
………………………………...............

Under the “It’s Good for the Goose Dept.” : We are told daily that Public Employee and Union benefit packages must be honored because they were ‘negotiated contracts’, nevermind that these benefits are unsustainable, constantly renewed, negotiated under threat of strike and paid for by ‘all’ taxpayers, not just the 12% that receives them. I say, “Hot Damn Goober”.

Dumbplumber believes that if this is such a great deal for America, in the future every benefit negotiated by union thugs for their membership should be extended to EVERY worker in America. That should speed up the inevitable end game that we are seeking to reach now…. at light speed.

Liberals would have us believe that we are all in this together. So to prove that they are NOT dividing America, that everyone is equal, and that they care about the ‘little’ people, they should be jumping all over this concept. Can we all say G-R-E-E-C-E together.

So here’s what the liberal blogs and the MSM write when they can’t get their way:

“Sarah Palin’s bus is plastered with a mockup of the U.S. Constitution. But her entourage — both the three-vehicle motorcade that includes the bus and the smaller, two-SUV version she uses for smaller events — hasn’t been very respectful of the traffic laws.
They speed. They run red lights and stop signs. They make last-second lane changes to get off the highway, sometimes without signaling.”

Well now, did it occur to anyone else that Sarah isn’t driving the bus? Does it remind anyone of what it’s like to drive in urban traffic, Sarah’s bus notwithstanding? Geesh.
Dumbplumber

Dumbplumber Shorts 17

Dumbplumber Shorts 17

Hee, hee, hee. So Paul Ryan’s proposal was voted down in the Senate. Seems that looking into it, Republicans and Democrats alike saw the end of their careers staring them back in their face. Nevermind that it is a more reasonable plan than either the one we have or the nothing put forth by the Democrats.

But the sweet irony is that if Congress had looked into Obamacare half as much as Ryancare, O‘care wouldn‘t have seen the light of day, nor have been handed $105 billion in seed money. No, you can’t make this up.

A friend reminded me today that our Founding Fathers risked everything. They risked their property, their wealth, their families and yes their lives to draft, circulate and promote and pass what is today the greatest governing document ever created, our Constitution.

But today, with all we have accomplished, all we have created, all we have done for our country, our fellow man and those from other countries, today’s politicians won’t risk a vote to defend it.

Today I disagree with the award winning Dr. Charles Krauthammer. He claims that America is a nation of laws. Yes, in a way that is true. However, I would submit that we are a nation with a lot of laws AND SOME OF THEM THEY ENFORCE, depending on who you are and just how high up the Totem Pole you perch.

Under the ‘You’ve Got to be Shitting me Column’, The People’s Republic of California’s Assembly bill 887 is working its way through the Sacramento morass of twisted sisters and is about to be the first State that will protect workers that wish to cross-dress during working hours. Yes, you’ve heard it here first folks. Those once socially constrained transexual, tattoo ladened, copiously pierced, cosmetically altered to look like the ‘Swamp Thing’ day care hall monitors can soon don the latest in Parisian eveningwear, at work.

Dumbplumber

Monday, June 20, 2011

So Long Suckers

To my close friends and email buddies:


This is to let you know that I will no longer open, read or be otherwise dazzled by a new email revelations about our White House occupant. I have been witnessing shocking accounts about this man since well before his inauguration. Then, as the political junkie I am, have witness the drip, drip, drip of actions, appointments, authorizations, declarations, directives, decrees, dictates, commands and mandates that have, each and every one, gone to divide, diminish, devalue and otherwise destroy this country.

Long story short, you can no longer shock me, you can no longer inform me, you can no longer alarm me, for damn sure, you can no longer convince me that Mr. Obama is anything but a socialist/fascist/Marxist, narcissist, bent on reducing this great nation into his version of political panty wearing pussies.

I have determined that those who have the easiest access to solutions to correct our spiral into the abyss, have neither the will nor the courage to act on the opportunities, but rather choose to sit by and watch Liberals, the MSM and cocktail circuit RINOs grind into dust anyone with the courage to do so politically. Yes, that means that NO viable Conservative will ever sleep in the White House, short of a revolution.

Yes folks, there exists plenty of selfish, greedy and provably stupid people that will line up and vote for whichever guy is giving away the most ice cream, even though we will be borrowing money from China to buy it. You see, government employees, the habitually unemployed, entitlement junkies, most union members and professional scammers all know that the Liberals and RINOs are their ticket to the lush life, nevermind that this system is unsustainable on any level.

So as long as the majority of the 40% of America that bothers to vote continues to cast ballots for a non-Conservative leader, we will be sliding further into the socialist utopia. I, fortunately, have better things to do with my time than watch the show. Good Luck America, you’re gonna need it.
Dumbplumber

Tuesday, June 07, 2011

Fools of Felony

Fools of Felony
Dumbplumber often reads of the gnashing, screeching and caterwauling by folks critical of the overcrowding in our prison systems, California notwithstanding. The cost, the waste, the corruption, the overwhelming size of the problem is almost incalculable. But it is not without solution.

First, we currently treat prisoners, wanna-be prisoners and prisoners-in-training in a bottoms up fashion. Stated another way, adjusted statistically, we have a lot more street thugs in the jug than we do Harvard graduates. And some, like myself, think that that just might be part of the problem.

You see, many offenders, no, most offenders, no, all offenders suffer from one symptom: respect for other’s rights. Now this may be manifested in many ways. But one way seems to be prevailing: Lack of fear of the consequences of what they are doing, which is really just shorthand for, “hey ‘they’ got away with it”.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Love, Hate and Greed rank right up there for motive, but lack of fear of the consequences is the bottom line for everyone. About the only folks that violate this formula are the serial killers, sociopaths and narcissistic political leaders. But in the big picture, we could park those inmates in one county jail and have room left over for the drunk tank.

Case in point, how many hours go by in the 24/7 news cycle that we don’t hear about some bureaucrat, mid-level flunky or city manager that has gamed the system out of hundreds of thousands of dollars through graft, corruption or union contract, that loses their job, but cannot be denied a million dollar golden parachute, because of “contractual” obligations?

Yes folks, everyday somewhere this picture plays out to the dismay of millions, disgusted with the inability or lack of will to thwart it. Ergo, you build disrespect and universal animus. I submit that if you begin whacking those at the top, just as hard as those at the bottom, you will build a pyramid of respect that will trickle down to the lowest of street thugs.

Stated another way: If you show those at the bottom, that those at the top will not get away with crime, they will begin to respect the system a lot more than they do now.

Dumbplumber 16

Dumbplumber Shorts 16

Dumbplumber’s new rule: If I must engage a Liberal in a conversation about politics, I will forthwith, in the future, demand that they pull their heads from their sphincters, clean the brown off their noses and blow the wax from their ears….first.

I often wonder why Liberals have such a disconnect to logic. For instance, if Sarah Palin is such a knuckle dragging moron, incapable of putting together a cognitive thought, or say, chewing gum and walking at the same time, why do they disparage her so much? Logically, the Libs should WANT to run against such an unqualified, moose killing goober from Wasilla.

On the other hand, they seem to want to run against the likes of the muskrat wearing Donald Trump, the Ken Doll/Obamacare Lite, Mitt Romney or the Gravy Dripping Mike Huckabee, none of whom could muster more than 40% of the general election vote. Go figure.

And it can’t go without notice that much of the things we hate Obama for was started by George Bush: Auto Bailout, Bank bailouts, Prescription Benefit Plan, etc. However the reality is that Bush just got tired of the Pelosi/Reid Congress pounding him into dust the last two years of his presidency and succumbed to the “across the isle“, “bipartisan” angle that has brought us at least another $8 trillion farther in debt.

Long story short, if you like where we are now with the whole bipartisan thing, you’re gonna love another 4 years of Obama. I’d say a police state, government operated everything and another $10 trillion of debt should just about do it. Or stated another way, well beyond the point of NO return. And the added bonus of Obama pressing for a 10 year term for president. Of course that takes further mangling of our Constitution, but with 60 or 70 percent of our future voters being dependant on government, it should be a piece of cake.

Funny how the ‘establishment’ Republicans say that the $1.5 trillion dollar annual deficit cannot be eliminated overnight. Funny because with the passing of Obamacare, Porkulus and the never ending “QE’s” we got there almost overnight. www.Dumbplumber.blogspot.com

Dumbplumber Shorts 15

Dumbplumber Shorts 15


So now we don’t have ‘just’ democrats slamming Sarah Palin, but seems that Republicans are now jumping on the bandwagon. It is amusing to witness the RINOS quibbling about what is wrong with Sarah. How did she get so low in the poles and what is it about her that scares the living bejesus out of Liberals and moderate Republicans alike? Well, just look at the negative stories generated about her….. every day.

There are entire websites dedicated to destroying Sarah Palin, one drip at a time. There are authors that do nothing but write books, provably inaccurate, that do nothing but slam Palin. And you cannot go more than a day or two that the MSM doesn’t do a story critical of one thing or another she has done, said, or intends to do.

But keep this in mind, no matter what they do or say, Sarah Palin’s approval ratings continue to be twice as high as the U.S. Congress and at least even, or above, with the entire crop of GOP hopefuls. Let’s see them face the onslaught that Sarah has endured and maintain half her ratings.

Hot damn, Bin Laden had a stash of porno in his bedroom. Now that’s a hoot, ain’t it. I can see it now, this guy has 4 wives and needs a monthly fix of “The Busty Ewes from Farmville”, “The Nasty Nannies of Ogden Utah” and every Muslim’s favorite “Camel Hustler”. With a little more digging we might find his golden stash of the “Burkas of Beverly Hills”, “Behind the Green Teeth” and my personal favorite, “Deep Goat”.

You gotta give it to bin Laden, that boy knows how to party.

One of the great things about being a Constitutionalist is that the things you have a right to are spelled out. It’s referred to as the Bill of Rights; if it isn’t in there, you don’t have a right to it. Period.

For instance: You have a right to free speech and assembly, but you do not have a right to free food. You have a right to own a gun, but you don’t have a right to a free house. You have a right against unlawful search and seizure, but you do not have a right to free healthcare. You have a right to due process, but you do not have a right to a free college education. Get it?

Dumbplumber Shorts 14

Dumbplumber Shorts 14

Is being reported that the Oregon legislature is going to debate the legalization of the “Suicide Kit”. Yes folks, time’s a comin’ that you will have the opportunity to check out on your own schedule.

There is, however, no truth to the rumor that it will be marketed as, “In Case Obama Wins Kit”.

Under, ‘If I’d told my Daddy‘…. Back in 1965, if I’d told my Daddy that in 2011 we would be told by the government what light bulbs to use, what toilets to buy and that we would be grinding up corn for gasoline, he would’ve looked at me like I just dropped in from Pluto and told me I was nuts.

Hang on to your bibb overalls, because we are about to see the ‘Pigford’ Settlement cubed with the recent Mississippi river floods. While tens of thousands will spend years filling out forms for relief, ‘Pigford’ farmers will simply claim their “Farmville” keyboards as crops and reap millions in ‘virtual’ losses on what they meant to harvest next year.

The Energy Dept. has announced that gasoline prices will remain high through 2012. Well now, that certainly is an interesting statement. Since the market determines the cost of energy, how is it that the Energy Dept. can ‘assure’ us of high prices unless they have their “fingers on the scale” guaranteeing that will happen. This assurance only works if the government ‘controls’ energy, which apparently their prediction reveals.

After John Boehner announced loudly that any Debt Ceiling increase would have to be connected to equal or larger cuts in the budget, it is being announced that these “budget cuts” would be spread over 5 or 10 years. Well now, ain’t that special. It is starting to sound a lot like Wimpy, who famously quotes, “I would gladly pay you on Tuesday for a hamburger today”. Nevermind there will be plenty of opportunity to rescind the cuts during Obama’s second term. We are so screwed.

www.Dumbplumber.blogspot.com

Sunday, June 05, 2011

Resonse to Jim Reed Sunday Letter

Response to Jim Reed’s Sunday Letter to the Editor

Dumbplumber writes:

It occurs to me that, while many of you want to get down in the weeds over policy and taxing proposals, most of you never step back and look at the big picture. Here are a few questions that most of you should consider before you embarass yourselves taking a stand on how we should be governed, or what it should cost those of us paying for it.

A. Can 300 million people be GOVERNED on $250 billion a month? Yes or No will do.

B. Can we protect America with less than the 759 military bases scattered around the globe?

C. Should taxpayers be forced to subsidize people who WILL NOT (I didn't say CANNOT) work?

D. Does the government owe anything to an "illegal" alien beyond a trip back home? Do they owe them more than American citizens?

E. Is it fair for our government to treat union workers differently than non union?

F. Should our government enforce any law differently than any other law? Or should laws that are not being enforced be deleted?

G. And finally, is anyone else offended when some politician, in righteous indignation, brazenly waves a copy of our Constitution while whining about some perceived slight, meanwhile willfully violating that docmuent every day?

Now this isn't a test beyond that of whether or not anyone of you are living without principle. It is really a test of common sense, reason and some level of personal responsibility. And it is open book for those of you who don't know the answers. www.Dumbplumber.blogspot.com

Tuesday, May 03, 2011

Dumbplumber Shorts 13

Now that we are to expected to accept the clearly fraudulent, altered, and otherwise counterfeited Obama birth certificate, I guess the lid is off on altering $1 dollar bills to be $100 dollar bills. Works for me. Hey, that double standard thing was always one of my pet peeves.

Now tell me again why we should trade-in our low mileage pickups and trucks? Here is the Douche-bag-in-Chief sarcastically advising those of us trapped into our low mileage, high cost per mile trucks, may be fodder for POTUS. But his smug, smirky, condescension for those of us that enjoy NO monthly payments and low insurance and license fees is palpably offensive.

Not only do I enjoy lower, cost-per-mile expenses, but I can buy any parts I need from any of a number of catalogues and I additionally realize less costs to run 4 old trucks, than to run one new one. And I have the added bonus to NOT having my cab lifted off the frame for a tune-up. (Yes, you need to take a look at this little piece of engineering advancement)

Moving On
Obama recently visited the sites of several tornadoes. He scanned the devastation and commented that, “I’ve never seen anything like this”. (However what he thinking was, “When I’m done, all of America will look like this”.)

So now that “The Donald” has slapped Obama between the eyes with his flakey birth certificate, the Lefties are all on deck to reduce the Trumpster to ashes. Now comes the backlash for not towing the official line.

However, when it comes to Trump, I am reminded of the old tv show, The Untouchables, where the Feds have this big truck with a “V” shaped battering ram attached to the front. So that once the truck busts down the warehouse doors, where mobsters store or make alcohol, then the agents storm the building to smash the kegs and bottles. The Donald is this truck, but where are the agents.

Memo to Republicans, Conservatives and Tea Party folks: The Donald has done the dirty work, where the hell are you guys?

The Age of Contradiction is Dead, Long Live Contradiction.

This is pretty much what’s going on in America right now. And it’s going on with support and aid of the Main Stream Media. We are witnessing conflicts of positions and journalistic hypocrisy that are mind numbing, but little is said about it in the media. Let me submit:

Americans universally condemn government intrusion into our lives, but we keep electing politicians that grow and nurture big government.

Both parties now deny that government money is going for abortions, but there was well over a million government paid abortions last year.

Bush 43 was hounded from the heavens for every scrap of paper that dealt with his past…back to his childhood. Yet our current “transparency” president, has yet to submit any of his college records, or thesis, his passport or a duplicate of his original birth certificate. Yeah, yeah, I know, it’s an “abstract”. Look it up, while you’re wiping the Kool Aid off your chin.

Our administration condemns $5 billion in profits to a company that has tens of billions in assets around the world, but doesn’t think it’s unreasonable to shove $20 billion into ethanol production, converting food into fuel, which requires more energy to make than it produces.

The White House bemoans the plight of “middle America”, then spoon feeds hundreds of billions at trade and government unions (to backfill their pension plans), which only represent about 12% of workers in America.

Our Administration claims it is protecting our borders, but will not require a drug test to determine if a recipient of taxpayer dollars is a drug user. It would kill two birds with one stone. Illegal immigration and drug use.

Der Leader is cramming conservation down our throats with the EPA and Energy Dept., but ignores both when he flies Air Force One to Chicago for pizza or pisses away $100,000 per hour using it as a fundraising tool in S.F. and Los Angeles. Need I go on? The man is a fraud people!

Sunday, April 24, 2011

The State of Perpetual Losers

There’s been a lot of noise, coming out of Iran, lately about the annihilation of Israel. Of course that ‘noise’ is now accompanied by the added threat of Teheran’s forthcoming nuclear bomb which, by all accounts, is being developed on Prophesy’s own schedule. And on top of that is the President of Iran, a certified Nut Case, so deluded with power that he actually looks forward to parking mushroom clouds over Tel Aviv.

I say, hot damn ‘Dinner-and-a-Job’, time for the Hootenanny. Thing is though, you may have not taken so much as a glimpse at the ‘Way Back Machine‘, which would tell you that every time one of you Camel Jockey Cowboys got a wild hair stuck in your diapers, you got your proverbial butts kicked. Offensively your pre-announcing your intentions has never worked so good, as you mutton-munching goobers have come out on the short end every time.

Additionally your weakness for sticking your butt in the air 5 times a day isn’t what I would call a great defensive tactic either. It just gives the Jews something to aim at.

Now I don’t want to go out on a limb here, but you cave dwelling dummies aren’t exactly Einsteins either. I can’t remember the last Nobel Prize given to any of you. Add to that a Pulitzer, an Emmy, Academy Award, a Patent, a Medal of Honor or any award for Excellence, Merit, or Achievement. On the other hand I bet you guys have wheel barrows full injured in combat awards, our Purple Heart. Losers get a lot of those.

And not to add insult to future injury, have you seen the women in the Israeli Army? These gals eat guys like you for breakfast. They can turn bouncers at Biker Bars into whimpering simps and Davy Crockett would blush at their marksmanship. And you jokers want to take them on? Good Luck with that.

No my towel headed adversaries, save yourself more humiliation and get on with something more personally rewarding, like tent decorating or sand sculpture.

Dumbplumber Shorts 12

I thought I could really get into the “birther” movement. I mean it would be so easy, the intrigue, the conspiracy, the overt effort to ignore the obvious. It would be a piece of cake to jump on this bandwagon, inasmuch as Obama, so far, has spent over $2 million keeping his “long form” birth certificate concealed. And this doesn’t even count his college records and papers.

But given Obama’s efforts to bankrupt and change the U.S. into his version of a Socialist Utopia, where, when and whose daddy was his is the least of my concerns. I don’t even care what his real name might have been, since Spanky and Buckwheat have already been taken.

Here’s another dose: Nothing quite like a roomful of seniors whacking away at a Tea Party politician for supporting Ryan’s deficit plan that cuts Medicare spending. Nevermind that Medicare’s budget of $510 billion dollars is infested with over $100 billion in fraud, waste and corruption. Apparently they don’t want to cut that either.

It’s all about the numbers: We are reminded daily that Sarah Palin’s approval ratings are dropping. But with Congressional approval and Obama’s “very much approval” both hovering at 19%, it makes Charlie Sheen’s approval at 29% a bonanza. So Sarah’s overall approval at 39% already rivals the President. And what is more revealing is that with Donald Trump’s recent rant on Obama’s birth certificate, his approval is higher than any of the those listed above.

Still Bashing Palin: In Liberal publishing there are two things you can always count on: First, Liberal reporters will always change their position to accommodate whatever a Progressive says. And Second: When they have exhausted high praise for every Democrat they can think of, they drag out a Republican for further evisceration. However, when it’s Sarah Palin, it’s more like a 2 month old road kill than anything resembling fresh meat. But not to worry, tomorrow is another chance-to-bash-Palin day.

http://theweek.com/article/index/214168/is-sarah-palin-a-has-been

More Pondering

So, while you get all giddy with Obama’s caring about the ‘little’ people, you might want to keep this in mind. Obama just appeared in Chicago at one of his many upcoming 2012 campaign fundraisers, which charged the diners $35,000 per plate. Now that is some dinner. Don’t you just wonder for a moment, how many ‘little’ people were out there gobbling down the rubber chicken?

Why don’t we try this on for a second and see how it fits. Obama has spent the past 2 ½ years shoveling out trillions of dollars to the service unions, the automobile unions, the construction unions and state employee unions. (Is there a pattern emerging here?) Now on a whim, you will pardon me if I speculate that the Community-Organizer-in-Chief is just going around picking up his vig. And this for all you folks that thought he was going to raise a billion dollars from secretaries, shoe shine boys and waitresses. (Oops, that was Hillary wasn’t it?)

Better he should have just one picnic with the heads of all the unions and charge them $100 million for the bag. Then they could drop all pretense of campaign funding legality and at least get a decent hot dog.

Something else to ponder: If Obama, Geithner, Harry Reid and all the rest of the, “you can’t cut anything” school continue scaring the be-Jesus out of old people, the poor and the infirmed, maybe someone should ask them if we could just cut the waste, the fraud and the corruption. How about that? Or would that cut too far into their campaign coffers?

No folks, we have a president, on track, to have borrowed more money in his first term of office than all the previous presidents put together. And for all his borrowing, spending and re-distributing, we haven’t weaned anyone off welfare, entitlements or the government gravy train.

And this man wants us to donate to his re-election. You just can’t put this anywhere on the Stupid Meter.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Hell in a Hand Basket

There are many that believe that America is going to Hell and they are preparing accordingly, buying Gold and Silver, then putting them in a vault, where they gather moss and, for now, value. But Dumbplumber thinks this is just stupid. If I’m going to hoard something, it better be edible.

Oh, we’re going to Hell alright. But as heard about a year ago on one of the blogs, “when all Hell breaks loose, Plumbers will be Kings”. Now that may be sort of a stretch, but if plumbers are Kings, hunters will be Emperors, if not Gods. No my friends, things won’t look quite the same when the sky falls.

Gold may be the big dog now, but look for it to be on the shelves in Dollar Stores in the future. The reason: Because guns and ammo will be stored in Fort Knox. In fact, it won’t surprise me if banks empty their vaults of cash and fill them up with toilet paper, catsup and Band Aids.

Oh, there will still be millionaires. In fact I will have a couple of them weeding my garden and washing my trucks for in trade for my plumbing services. In fact, I suspect there will be a lot of folks out there, that hoarded gold, performing tasks totally unrelated to their chosen fields.

For instance, lawyers will be hosing down slaughter houses for dinner, CPAs will be washing dishes for a chance to stand in line for a cup of soup .
And it will be a hoot watching Politicians stuffing firewood into homemade boilers and weeding vegetable rows in community greenhouses.

Of course the big box stores in the cities will have to retool. Out will be carpets, appliances and fancy plumbing fixtures. In will be axes, hammers and hand saws. Any spare room will store nuts, berries and the mother of all banquet favorites, cases of Top Ramen soup and bags of red beans and rice.

But the number one commodity will be guns and ammo and anything that can be converted to guns and ammo. Yessir, I can’t wait to see the ‘Hope and Change’ Messiah scrounging in the landfills for Beer Nuts, discarded sodas and the occasional Marlboro butts. Those will go quite well with his Humble Pie and a double helping Crow.