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Monday, June 30, 2008

The Lost Regime

The problems as I see them:

$5 dollar gas is not now the exception, but the rule. Absent immediate intervention, it will be $10, then $15, and the end of life as we know it.

The U.S. dollar is in freefall with no end in sight.

Due to the domino effect, businesses are now failing at an unprecedented rate. Thanks to Washington D.C. the mortgage industry is in chaos, with homes going into foreclosure, not just because of predatory lending practices, but the associated economic meltdown as well.

Washington tells us that the unemployment rate is still 5.5%, but they don’t tell us how many have moved on to Social Security, SSI and Welfare, that weren’t there eight years ago.

We have liberated a nation that thanks us by selling their oil on the open market, to the highest bidder. They make little or no effort to compensate us for their security, their reconstruction, or our multi-trillion dollar investment in their country.

And every effort to solve any of the above is met with Civil Litigation, Congressional Regulation and Supreme Court Intervention.

These problems are said to be complicated, made more so by those that profit from both the problems and the inevitable publicly funded solutions. Secondly, the environmental hysteria, created by less than 1% of our population and perpetuated by lawyers, that has brought us to this junction, needs to be put in a box. And while we must move forward with policies and plans to transition our economy away from fossil fuels, without bankrupting our economy first, we should do it as much for conservation and economics as for environmental health.

Well folks, if there is any problem here, it is that there is a critical lack of leadership capable of guiding us out of the abyss. In the absence of anyone with the “salt” to spell out a clear path to our destiny, allow me to submit some dialog.

“Tell the environmentalists to shut up and sit down. The next President should hand down an Executive Order to Oil Companies to develop all existing oil leases or lose them in 18 months. Send drilling platforms to the East, West and Gulf coasts, as if your life, and future, depends upon them. And to that end, convert available space on the coasts to construction of these platforms.

Send crews to ANWAR immediately, while inviting any protestors to just try and block roads and bridges while swatting away 2lb. mosquitos. Forget DEET, bring tennis rackets for the summer and down jackets for the winter.

Launch immediate talks with Mexico and Canada to develop dozens of refineries along our borders. “Fast Track” permitting of these projects by using blueprints of existing facilities. Put people to work NOW building them. The crude will be coming in a few months, be ready.

Advise all those on public assistance that if they can pick their noses or their butts or open a beer, we have a job for them. New Rule, work or starve.

And just for chuckles, instead of the IRS harassing legitimate businesses over nickels and dimes, we are going to start a program where if you have a Manhattan, Telluride, Beverly Hills, Palm Beach or Boca Raton mailing address, but pay your expenses with offshore electronic transfers or a Visa Card from a Cayman Island bank, we are going to climb up your ass and audit your tonsils.

Put Iraq on notice that they owe us a few boatloads of money, they can start by NOT sending any more of their oil to any place that doesn’t have boots on the ground in the Middle East.

Memo to Iran: We are going to be very busy for the next few years, trying to rebuild the damage made by them and those they support. But we are never too busy to vaporize them if they so much as blink. P.S. We are sending your President all the Double Knit disco suits we can find in our Good Will and Salvation Army Stores.

Notice to oil speculators: The gravy train is over. We will now be bidding futures on a commodity only from the U.S. We will be selling gas to Iran, before we buy any more oil from Saudi Arabia.

Notice to Congress: The next time you drag oil executives up to Capitol Hill to complain about their salaries and don’t invite the likes of Bill Gates, Steven Spielberg, Warren Buffet or “Brangelina” for the same purpose, we will have the CIA and FBI investigate and document every scandal, misstatement, minor offense and under the covers/in the closet indiscretion you have ever committed, then post it in primetime on every network on the T.V. remote.

Time for some accountability, so we should start at the top instead of the bottom. Unfortunately for America, the foxes--special interest lobbyists and willing prey--are in charge of the hen house, so any responsible legislation to improve our economic, energy or constitutional health will be slow or non existent.”

Good Luck suckers. There is not a soul on the horizon that can or will make any of this happen. Time to grab your ankles.

But hey, I could be wrong. The Dumbplumber

Monday, June 09, 2008

Who for President?

I am usually want to point out the obvious. I have to when nobody else will.

Has it occurred to anyone else that among the 300 million plus Americans, this is the best we can come up with for President?

Let’s review. President Bush--a former governor--has an approval rating hovering in the mid to high 20s. While the U.S. Congress has the abysmal rating somewhere between 11 and 19 percent, depending upon the poll. But where do we get our presidential candidates from? You got it, the U.S. Senate. Go figure.

And to compound our stupidity, we have picked candidates, whose popularity has plummeted, while our energy, healthcare, food and inflation have skyrocketed. So tell me again why we have chosen these clowns to lead us OUT of this mess!

It’s no wonder that 80% of America refuses to go to the polls for General Elections. They already know what I have but suspected. The primaries are rigged to select candidates most malleable by special interests and lobbyists. And once ensconced in Washington, D.C., the rare neophyte idealist with the most honorable of intentions are soon swallowed up by the D.C. influence machine.

So America, you are about to get what you so justly deserve. You get to chose between a sagging veteran, who has been more an erratic, unstable, isle crossing bench warmer than any shades of a congressional maverick, and a product of corrupt, coercive, contemptible Chicago politics. No America, you cannot make this up.

Woe be to us when either takes the Oath of Office. But hey, I could be wrong….The Dumbplumber

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Running The Asylum-California Style

So the latest clean air assault by the nature Nazis is once again the auto industry, more specifically the diesel truck industry. In a recent frenetic frenzy, oil refiners, diesel engine manufacturers, fresh air fanatics and a cadre of carbon credit hugging politicians banded together to make the air quality here in California better than just about any place on the planet other than the top of Mt Everest and a few ice crevasses at our poles.

Nevermind that reformulation of diesel has already demonstrated premature failure of pumps and injectors in modern diesel engines, resulting in increased operating expenses for both the reformulated diesel and the resulting early engine repairs. But miraculously, the air quality, while better, isn’t perfect. Apparently the scientists ignored pollutants blown in from over seas countries that have absolutely NO emission standards, natural forest fires, normal agriculture emissions and a host of other contributors for which there are NO bureaucratic remedies, yet.

Seems that scientists suddenly discovered that air quality poses a threat to the health of some people and that our air quality is being polluted by diesel engines, just in California. But, they somehow failed to discover this until our fuel prices were already through the roof, the environmental movement had single handedly shut down increased domestic oil production and refining expansion, and our economy was teetering somewhere between certain oblivion and a complete takeover by Saudi Arabia and China. Oookkkaaaayy.

It can no longer be argued that the inmates are running the asylum, or in this case, the lobbyists and ecologists are running the country.

But if you are going to save lives by cleaning up the air, you might start by banning cigarettes, which claims over, a documented, 500,000 casualties a year, not to mention billions in taxpayer money caring for these souls until their inevitable and early demise.

No, we couldn’t possibly gore this sacred cow. Not because cigarettes don’t kill, but because our General Funds needs the tobacco tax revenues and the chain smoking ACLU lawyers would sue us into oblivion over their assumed rights in a Constitution they hold in such high contempt.

But hey, I could be wrong. The Dumbplumber

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Depends ‘08

And now for our McCain moment. Not a day goes by that one of my conservative friends urges me to back, support and vote for John McCain. My first response is to ask them why they didn’t back a real Conservative during the primaries instead of asking me to support a Liberal now.

My second response, just exactly when did you develop complete amnesia?

Nevermind that McCain teamed up with four other powerful U.S. Senators to stall federal investigators, leading to a $3.4 billion dollar loss to taxpayers in the collapse of Lincoln Savings and Loan of Irvine, California.

Nevermind that McCain joined the gang of 14 in a bipartisan effort to reject the nomination of Samuel Alito for the Supreme Court, saying that, “he carried his Conservatism on his sleeve”.

Nevermind that he teamed up with Teddy Kennedy to end illegal immigration as we know it, just to have it blow up in their faces with a national barrage of calls to their offices, forcing withdrawal of the Bill.
This forced John to admit it was a mistake, but he placed Dr. Juan Hernandez --who casually refers to illegal aliens as “undocumented Americans”. Guess John didn’t get the message.

And finally, in his zeal to “clean up political financing”, John teamed up with Russ Feingold and accomplished little more than stifle Free Speech, while allowing political critics to hide behind 529’s in the pathetic failure that is McCain/Feingold.

But today, John would have us believe that, like his other reptilian friends, he has again shed his skin and now represents the wishes of America. I would suggest that to believe him would be a fools errand.

No, John is a product of our Media addicted society. He was the weakest, link in the Conservative chain and is why he is where he is today. Our only hope is that he will make a solid choice for VP, then step aside quietly in four years, if there is a nation left to save. But hey, I could be wrong.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Taxing My Patience

Someone needs to set me straight. Why is it that the IRS doesn’t audit, or otherwise shut down ministries (ie: Reverend Wright, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Father Pfluger, etc.) which are blatantly violating their tax exempt status. Now I am talking about ministers wallowing in millions in donations, who jet set around the country extorting even more millions, while impersonating someone claiming to be concerned about the poor and trodden down pipples.

On the other hand, try to blow off a few hundred bucks in deductions without receipts, during your next audit. Good luck with that pilgrim.

And the Government wonders why we’re so damn mad.

Racism ‘08

I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Liberal political pundits are saying, “people are voting against Obama because he is black”. Well it makes about as much sense as saying, “people are voting against Hillary because she is woman, or voting against McCain because he is not a Conservative. Well um, two out of three ain’t bad, eh?

No, I would not vote against Obama because he is black. I would not vote for him because he is an empty suit, who is trying to convince the masses that he is all things to all people. He has misrepresented his intentions, maligned his grandparents and referred to his mother as, “a conservative Kansas girl”, when in reality she was chain smoking, shit disturbing Marxist, with an appetite for relationships with radical Muslim men, hardly the profile of the typical Kansas conservative. I would not vote for him because of his close relationships with several outspoken, hypocrite ministers and his undying admiration for Louis Farrakhan, not to mention his close association with an unrepentant, self admitted terrorist, who remains proud of his accomplishments.

Now, stay tuned for reasons I wouldn’t vote for Hillary or McCain either.

I'm So Sorry....Really

There’s been a whole lot of apologizing going on lately, at very high levels.
Obama has been apologizing to Hillary, Hillary to Obama, Hillary to the Kennedys, Reverend Wright to anyone who was offended, etc. etc. Point is there seems to be no end to the apologizing . And usually these apologies goes something like this, “I am deeply sorry if I have offended anyone with my remarks.” That’s a Mississippi River apology, wide but not very deep.

Well, it’s time for the Dumbplumber to do some of his own apologizing. So before I get going, I wish to apologize in advance for what I am about to say.

Hillary Clinton, you are a power hungry, self aggrandizing, manipulative, obnoxious, belligerent, outrageous bitch and I wouldn’t trust you running a whore house, much less than running this country.

Barack Obama, you are a self important, vague, vacuous, all things to all people, empty suit that says so little with so many words. You are a product of some very questionable associations not the least of which a racist minister, a self admitted terrorist and last but not least a monster politician maker currently on trial on a number of felonies.

Barack and Hillary, you two are a couple of socialists in training, who are prepared to sell this country down the river, while lining your own pockets. The level of both your hypocrisies knows no bounds. Neither of you have ran a business, toiled for meager wages or felt the pain of climbing the financial ladder. You both have accumulated wealth in a very questionable manner, while your Republican counterpart got his the old fashion way, he married it.

Oh John, your not getting away with anything. You are a doddering, gimped up, sagging goofball. Your antics in Congress are legendary. They call you a maverick to be polite, but your biggest handicap has not been your war wounds but the ethical injuries you suffered reaching across the isle to help build the resumes of those who would be our downfall. No John, while you claim to be, you are not a Conservative. You wouldn’t make a pimple on a Conservative’s ass. Now do the right thing an find a Conservative, any Conservative to fill the V.P. slot and bow out early after you win the election, that you so rightly do not deserve. Again I’m sorry if I offended anyone. But hey I could be wrong. I’m just a Dumbplumber.