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Monday, April 30, 2012

Tea Party Fading

Well now it’s official. "The Tea Party has evaporated". "They are nowhere to be found." So says the talking heads on Fox News. Well gee duh.

Dumbplumber says, “Well, what the f**k did you expect”? The Liberals made the Tea party a fun factory, the butt of all political jokes and the Ron Paul’s of Right Wing thinking, while the RINO Republicans looked the other way.

Meanwhile, in 2010, the establishment Republicans in general and the RNC in particular, bled the Tea Party of every vote they could before they kicked them to the curb and cowed the freshmen Congressmen, either into submission or out of meaningful committees in Congress.

But the new campaigns have brought out a few of the stalwart Tea Party faithful to fight, once again, for the rights of the common man. Unfortunately, the political meat grinders in the RNC, DNC and the MSM have shifted into high gear to smear anyone with thoughts of smaller government, lower taxes, personal responsibility or respect for the Constitution.

Typical responses are: “Our government is really more complicated than that”. Which is political shorthand for: We’ll keep doing what we have always done and you’ll like it.

Or how about: “Tea Party folks don’t understand how things work up here (ie: on Capitol Hill)”. No, I think they understand just fine. You say what you have to, to get there, then turn into someone we don’t recognize in the name of Representation.

And the mother of all put-downs: “The Tea Party isn’t willing to compromise”. Well, Congress has been “compromising” for about 230 years and see how that’s worked out for us.

No folks, the Tea Party understands exactly what’s going on. They’re just not happy about it and someone’s gonna pay. Ask Dick Lugar and Orrin Hatch about Tea Party wrath.

They are So Screwed

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Starting Over

There are many of us that truly believe our nation will not be saved by the election of Mitt Romney. Mr. Romney, while a nice guy, a CEO and good father, lacks the cojones to do what has to be done to salvage our great nation. Even though he was Governor of Massachusetts, Mr. Romney is first an administrator, not a politician. And quite frankly to save our country, we need neither.

What we need is a butcher, a timber faller or backhoe operator. In short, the first and foremost task of new leader is that he is going to take a hatchet, chainsaw or excavator to the EPA, the Energy Dept, the Labor Dept and Education Department, along with a few other duplicitous agencies that have mired our country in the ditch. In essence we need to start over by demolishing everything imposed upon us over the past 30 years and start over.

For instance, we fire everyone at the EPA and assign enforcement of a few basic rules to the first half dozen Nuns we meet walking down the street. It goes something like this: “If you contaminate our air, water or land with your pollution, we will come down on you like the B-52s came down on Hanoi". We will take everything you have and put the offenders and the CEOs in the hoosegow and we don’t care who you are, who your dad is or how much money you gave to who’s campaign. End of subject.

As for the Energy Dept., we will phase them out on the first Sunday in February. We will henceforth develop our energy future and cease selling our gas and oil to anyone outside the U.S.. I know that, “Oil is a global market”. But I also know that just a few short years ago all the ‘experts’ were touting “Peak Oil”. Well, I don’t know about you, but I am hedging my bets that selling off my finite resource will certainly come back to haunt us.

As for Labor, in today’s economy Labor means unions. Adios, let the free market determine who works for who, not some union boss.

And my favorite piƱata, Education will be taken out by the very instrument they favor, the delete key. It’s a States Rights issue. Either they teach their kids or they will sink under the weight of their own ignorance. Via con dios

Thursday, April 26, 2012

To Honor or Obey

If you were to ask every sitting member of Congress if they honored and obeyed our Constitution along with the wishes of the Founders, I’m sure they’d testify and swear that they were the salt of the earth, oracles of their constituents and beyond reproach.

However, it has been well documented that once these paragons of virtue join with their sainted brethren they become the self-serving, duplicitous, tax and spend, endless pension-and-benefits-for life-benchwarmers that theysuccessfully replaced, with promises of lower taxes, smaller government and balanced budgets, that never ever, ever happen.

So you will pardon me if I’m just a bit skeptical when the next round of self proclaimed patriots stand up and pound the podium with echoes of their entrenched incumbent adversaries.

About the only thing that will end such incredulity will be either the Second Coming or the Second Amendment exercised against those that ignore the Constitution or harm our country. This observation occurred only after the threats of prosecution are no longer executed or feared by those that would bring this country to its knees.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Wisdom from Washington

“Political parties serve to organize factions, to give government an artificial and extraordinary force; to put in the place of the delegated will of the nation, the will of the party, often a small but artful and enterprising minority of the community; and according to the alternate triumphs of different parties to make the public administration the mirror of the ill-concerted and incongruous projects of that faction, rather than the organ of consistent and wholesome plans digested by common counsels, and modified by mutual interests.

These parties are likely, in the course of time and things, to become potent engines, by which cunning, ambitious, and unprincipled men will be enabled to subvert the power of the people and to USURP FOR THEMSELVES THE REIGNS OF GOVERNMENT, destroying afterwards the very engines which have lifted them to unjust dominion. The common and continual mischief’s of the spirit of party are sufficient to make it the interest and duty of a wise people to discourage and restrain it.”    President George Washington

Funny how, over 220 years ago, this man possessed the wisdom lacking in society today.

We are So Screwed, Dumbplumber

Friday, April 20, 2012

Firemen, Policemen and Teachers, Oh My

Not a week goes by that our anointed, narcissist-in-chief doesn’t cut a check to another Muslim ran country, another failed green energy company, another collapsing progressive governing model or another ad on how you can apply and get “free” money from the government. Yessir, on our race to the bottom of the abyss, the ‘Candy Man’ is throwing money out the window of the bus, on its way down.

That is right up to and until it’s time to raise the debt ceiling, once again, and then the official line becomes, “we must not lay off our police, firemen, and teachers”, “we can’t abandon our children or old people” and “we must protect water and air quality.  That is, when we’re not blowing smoke up your skirt.

Funny how nobody (especially the self proclaimed conservatives) ever mentions this spending when it comes to raising the debt ceiling or voting for yet another ’continuing resolution’, doesn’t it?

No, a few hundred thousand here, a few million there, another 20 billion over there and before you know it, we’re back to Congress asking for another debt ceiling increase, whining about policemen, teachers and firemen. 

However, no one notices that not a penny of the last $1.5 trillion went to any of them. It went to every failing, cockamamie, broke-dick, useless, worthless, corrupt, double dealing, losing proposition, dictator, union boss or latest Chicago mayor.

But the 'Ground Hog Day' in Congress just keeps on going. The only thing we don’t hear is NO,NO and HELL NO. It is being drowned out by, “oh no we can’t let down our teachers, firemen and police“. Nevermind we are adding a few more hundred billion a year for food stamps, welfare and unending unemployment.

It is not lost on many of us that Congress doesn’t say NO to any giveaway plan in the midst of election season. We can’t have those entitlement junkies voting against us can we? Nevermind that we will be another trillion in the hole by the time we cast our ballots.

We are so Screwed.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

The Mittens Moshpit

I see that Mr. Romney is surging in popularity. Every picture you see of him, he has a shit-eating grin on his face. Maybe it’s because he is really the last man standing in the Republican pissing contest. Or it may be that he is filthy rich, has been running for President since he was born and it is now ‘his time’ or maybe it’s because he has successfully squashed, and dashed the hopes of the other candidates and even ignored the RNC crushing the reputations of those not even running.

Yessir, it’s his time. He is not required to apologize to those his handlers have ruthlessly abused or watched the RNC crush. He doesn’t have to apologize to anyone, he’s Mitt Romney. He can just keep looking the other way as he collects sycophants and hangers on focused far more on winning at all cost rather than doing the right thing.

Of course he doesn’t need to acknowledge the very folks that saved the Republican’s asses in 2012. It only shifted the power away from those driven to destroy America and paved the runway for a qualified candidate to take the White House in 2012.

So, why should the presumptive candidate tip his hat or adopt a platform that is supported by the very folks that made his victories possible? Not necessary, I’m Mittens Romney and I’m here to return power to those who have spent decades warming the chairs in Congress, collecting lifetime pensions and health benefits, while voting in policies unsustainable by the American people.

No sir, Mr. Romney is so possessed with the notion that everyone will vote for him, instead of Obama, no matter what, he forgets that those of us with polite manners tend to thank those who have helped them along the way.

Well, with his arrogance, new found fame and ‘anybody but Obama’ support, he won’t miss my vote a bit. But remember, you can do about anything to an American, but take him for granted or abuse his trust. Good luck Mr. Romney, you’re going to need it.


Tuesday, April 17, 2012

A Lesson for Lefties

Time for some reality to the Lefties of our land. You know the panty wearing, bed wetting, tree hugging, flash mobbing, planet saving, latte drooling, bedbug infested, Prius driving moonbats flying our country into the ground. Yes, Progressives, that means you too. Let’s review:

Government will never be big enough. Yessir, we are already spending $1.5 trillion more every year than we are taking in, but it’s just not enough.

The Rich aren’t paying enough. The upper 10% already pay over 70% of our income taxes. In fact, if you took every penny from these very productive folks, thereby making them penniless, you would fund the bloated U.S. government for less than 8 months.   Then it's goodbye Louise.

There aren’t enough union jobs. Atta Boy Barney, we already have a $115 trillion dollar unfunded liability to pension and healthcare benefit obligations, with only 12% of the nation unionized. Just think if we unionized the remaining 88%.

Autos and trucks aren’t clean enough. Here’s a clue Goober. We have been upping smog equipment and reducing fuel qualities, while lowering engine longevity since the sixties. But Lefties won’t be happy until we are back to horse and buggies. And if the horse farts, he’s outa here too.

Fuel mileage isn’t high enough. No matter what Detroit, Tokyo, Seoul, Berlin or Rome does, their cars are never fuel efficient enough. Even the Liberals haven’t figured out that electric cars really operate on Hydro, Coal or Natural gas. Again they won’t be happy until everyone is either in rickshaws, stalled on the side of a muddy road in solar powered shoebox or waiting for the wind to spin up a wind powered recharging station.

Co2 isn’t low enough. Nevermind that Co2 is plant food, Liberals won’t be happy until America is a barren wasteland. Nothing says prosperity like a starving nation. I can see it now, everybody buying carbon credits for Old Faithful, Mt St. Helens and forest fires on Federal lands.

We are so screwed. 

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Apologizing for John

For context, this is an imaginary apology from a friend to a demented, obsessed newspaper editor/ come stalker, who, is as I type, home fantasizing on his next assault.

It has been just over a year since I assumed the helm at the Fall River CSD and it seems like three. Little did I know when I walked in the CSD door that my life was never to be the same.

Oh, I was told, by our Board, that our District was years behind in government reporting, we had little funding and pitiful reserves. We were working our way out of near bankruptcy and were dragging ongoing expenses, of previous administrations, around like an Olympic swimmer dragging around a bowling ball. And that was the good news.

Little did I know that our local newspaper editor was suffering from post-administration depression, inasmuch as he had developed an unhealthy obsession with the previous CSD manager, who was spoon feeding him information pulled out of thin air.

But my biggest surprises came when I dared to drag the CSD into the 21st Century. In every move to expand the District I was met with critical, if not irrational, articles condemning anything but water and sewer services, even though we had been blessed, by Charter, with a lengthy list of services we could provide our customers. Nevermind that it would ultimately be the citizens who decided what services they wanted, not the CSD management or Board.

However, due to an unholy alliance formed between The Mt. Echo and a power hungry bureaucrat, all that has come to a screaming halt. In the interim, while those with cooler heads are calling the interfering harridan to task, I must make some amends.

I wish to apologize directly to Mr. Caldwell, because he appears to be the nexus of all my negative, public persona. So, not in any particular order, here goes:

First, I wish to apologize directly to Mr. Caldwell for bringing current years of reporting to government agencies that had been woefully ignored, adoption of Policies and Procedures that had mysteriously disappeared under previous administrations and working with our Board to streamline operations to generate and stabilize revenues.

Next, I wish to apologize for attending meetings, of various agencies, essential for compliance, alternative funding and resource assets necessary for operation of today’s CSD. I know, you believe I should have been in a ditch somewhere, ignoring those pesky opportunities available to us.

I would be remiss if I didn’t apologize for failing to respond to the first editorial assault on my management. Little did I realize that facts, “second sourcing” or story confirmation was anathema to the Echo sensationalism.

I sincerely apologize for those, that know what is happening at the CSD, actually defending my management and the Board in your paper. On the other hand these folks, unlike the Echo, have yet to present one fabrication, misrepresentation or falsification in their attempts to correct the record. I know it doesn’t have the divisive, explosive affect you seek.  But darn it some things are just boring.

I really, really apologize for working with one of those blood sucking consultants, you seem to abhor. Nevermind that it was not me that hired her in the first place.  It was the Board, years ago, who hired her to prepare a 20 year study, marked critically tardy in several audits, which ultimately revealed the systematic embezzlement of tens of thousands by previous manager, Mike Pena. It was then she was sidelined by a lengthy illness. Then under the tenure of short time manager Stewart Busby this consultant was again contracted to assemble, construct and complete the 20 Year Plan.

It was not until after my hiring that the consultant was once again hired to expand information for the Plan and prepare the necessary documents for grant and loan applications submitted to various agencies.

And lastly, I apologize to Mr. Caldwell for grants and loans of over $1 million dollars, received as a result of her work. And I would also be remiss if I didn’t detail that the loans will NOT cost the ratepayers and additional penny, as they don’t take affect until the expiration of current liabilities. These loans, by the way, are specifically for upgrades to an ageing and failing water and sewer system.

Most likely I’ve forgotten other things to apologize for, but I need to close now and actually go out and have a life, something Mr. Caldwell might consider, as I am running out of things to apologize for.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

What a Difference a Week Makes

My, my, my, what a difference a week makes. One week ago today, we were traveling to Redding to attend the LAFCO budget hearings in hopes of encouraging the Board to expedite the long overdue Municipal Service Review and what is to be the enjoined Sphere of Influence application. Both of these documents and pending approvals are essential for the timely expansion of the Parks and Recreation in the Fall River Valley, as well as any future expansion of services to our citizens.

During this hearing there were several presentations, by Fall River Valley residents supporting the pending expansion. There was also constructive suggestions on how LAFCO could speed up long overdue MSRs while saving money for District ratepayers. Otherwise, the Board spent most of their time patting each other on the back, nominating and voting for uncontested executive positions and listening to a protracted appeal for a pay raise for the Executive Director, Amy Mickelson.

On Friday Dumbplumber posted a comment on Bruce Ross’ blog, concerning Mr. Baugh’s uncontested, unanimous election. You know like the Lion’s club where if you miss a meeting, you show up the next week to discover you are the President. I then went on to caution Mr. Baugh that he should not hitch his political wagon to the likes of Ms. Mickelson, as her job history was shaky at best, while her performance while at Shasta LAFCO was abysmal. As a result, this response was the lone and only comment to Bruce’s posting, not a usual occurrence, since trolling Progressives usually take shots at the conservative Dumbplumber.

By Monday, the lid was blowing off the pot. What seemed to be a typical, routine budget hearing was developing into a serious investigation into who the Board had hired and why has she done so little, with so much, for so long. Saved by the vacation of the LAFCO board Chair, Les Baugh, Ms. Mickelson now appears to be the focus of questioning by fellow Board members as to her resume, her poor performance and her unreasonable and vindictive behavior, at least, to the Fall River Mills CSD. Only time will tell as to her future with LAFCO, but it is safe to say that over the last week her profile there isn’t what it was a week ago.

Monday, April 02, 2012

Lying to Themselves

Just a few thoughts about the Republican National Committee, Mitt Romney and the 2012 Republican nomination.

In 2010, Republicans retook the House of Representative, mostly because of the surge of popularity of the Tea Party. This popularity was based upon the Tea Party’s platform of adherence to the Constitution, Personal Responsibility, Lower Taxes and Limited Government. These simple tenants were what propelled the seismic shift in Congress.

Then comes the run-up to the 2012 elections. While everyone expected a slate of Tea Party influenced candidates, no one predicted the cold shoulder they would get from the RNC. In fact, it was the RNC working in concert with the Media and DNC that isolated, besmirched and denigrated several Republican/Tea Party candidates so much that they bowed out of the campaign prematurely. Moreover, the biggest Tea Party candidate, Sarah Palin and her family suffered unparalleled, unprecedented assaults from pundits, alleged comedians and political pinheads, basically crushing any political aspirations before they began. Nothing like giving everyone a chance.

This isn’t up for debate. Romney has stayed out of the fray, because he was told to by the RNC. Palin represents a threat to the good-ole-boy Republican network, who have spent billions protecting their Congressional seats and NOT doing the job they have been talking about for over 50 years, balancing the budget, cutting spending and reducing the size of government.

The very notion that the RNC has plans to do anything but continue the status quo is absurd. The only difference will be who controls the purse strings, Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi or Mitch McConnell and John Boehner.

Yes sir, seems that both these combinations have already been tried. And we all know how well that turned out. I don’t mind the RNC lying to me, I expect it. I just hate watching them lie to themselves. It’s just embarrassing.

A bumper sticker for those of us sick of the game, “2012 More of the Same”

We are So Screwed.

Sunday, April 01, 2012

Dumbplumber's life Lessons

At this stage of Dumbplumber’s life, it’s too early for a autobiography (like Justin Beiber or Snookie) and way too close to an obituary. So as second choice he will produce a list of his life lessons learned from the many occupations in which he has engaged. In no particular order, here goes Part One:

When repossessing a car from a violent debtor, who happens to park his car right next to his bedroom window, always turn off the radio before engaging the starter.

When selling Cadillacs, never underestimate the cash in the pockets of the guy wearing bibb overalls and driving a 1961 Chevy suburban.

If you decide to go to work in the woods, never let anyone convince you that you will never be so cold that you cannot unzip your fly.

If you happen to go to work as a parts man for GMC trucks, don’t ever fool yourself into believing that you will ever be good enough to supply the correct part for a “big green pickup that goes screech, screech“. You will need the make, model and serial number, no matter how young and cute the customer is.

If you ever get a job selling boat parts, you might brush up on local country music stars, because telling Merle Haggard and Buck Owens to, “go up front and get change for that hundred” is not what they want to hear.

If you ever become a choker setter in the woods, you might want to rethink telling your cat-skinner (a seasoned veteran of bar fights, tough times and suffering more than one young a-hole shooting off his mouth), to “get down off that machine and I’ll kick your ass”.

Don’t ever believe that those Big Horned beetles, you fumigated for, before you built a hand made burl wood coffee table, wouldn’t hatch their eggs and their young start eating up a house in New Jersey.

If you are a lowly handyman, you will soon discover that more than one licensed plumbing contractor has defied the law of, “crap runs down hill” and used force to trump gravity, right up and until, the drain was completely clogged.

Never party with your employees. Even though the officer said that he pulled me over in the company truck, “because you (I) were dragging 60 feet of fencing behind you”, I’m certain that 4 hours of pounding beers with staff was the cause.

When traveling 60 miles from your shop, always take a few extra items along on the truck, because you know the customer will say, “Jeesh, I forgot this, that and the other thing.

If you ever decide to smoke salmon or trout, don’t let the old dogs tell you that wet brine is the only way to go. I have a “Best of Show” for a dry brine trout hanging on my wall.

If you are ever tempted to cross the line with your new best friend, you barely know, never ask him if he is a cop and expect an honest answer.

It probably isn’t the best policy to repossess a pickup off of an Indian reservation. Not only is it illegal, you have to be one of the luckiest sons-a-bitches in the world to get away with it. Think high speed escape.

If you ever take a snake bite victim 60 miles over dirt mountain roads to the hospital, you might not drift around every turn. He will tell you later, the bite was the easy part, the ride nearly killed him.

If when plumbing, you ignore a double check of each joint for solder, you might keep a water extraction company on speed dial.

If ever you decide to repossess a Ford pickup in Rio Linda and not think the debtors best friend parked nearby wouldn’t destroy his own truck getting back the one you’re driving, you would be so wrong.

If you ever go to Nevada with one helper to bring back 5 repos and you don’t have a really good explanation how you brought them all back legally, don’t expect your boss to pay you.





Singing to the Sheeples

We now interrupt these gold, auto insurance and widget commercials for eight more minutes of repeats of the top 9 stories in America. So goes the Cable News networks of today. It’s like we are being spoon fed anything but what is happening to America, so that we don’t think about how screwed we are.

Although I find it amusing that gold is being marketed to “Conservatives”, when George Soros (not exactly a bitter clinger) buys his gold by the pallets. Some companies are pitching those other precious metals like silver, and my personal favorite, tungsten, which is being found buried inside some gold bars. In which case, tungsten is the same price as gold.

Not a peep about the $100 trillion in unfunded liabilities, not a word about the pending under-funded pension pandemic, not an utterance about the dozens of Directives, Executive Orders and Cabinet policy changes designed to make America, more dependent on Washington, D.C.. Not a mention about the socialization of America. Not even by Fox!

Instead, it’s just move on, nothing to see here. Ooh, ooh squirrel! We must find justice for Trayvon Martin, defend the U.S. against the pending climate disaster and shovel another 2 or 3 billion of borrowed money to Egypt with no preconditions. Like the previous 600 or 700 billion wasn’t enough.

Yes sir, burying ourselves in the minutia of racial controversy, free speech denial and how much Dixie Peach pomade Al Sharpton uses really feeds America’s need to know. No wait. Hold the presses. Keith Olbermann just got fired! OMG, what are his 453 viewers to do?

It really makes me yearn for reruns of the GEICO gecko, Flo’s Progressive mini-dramas and yes, Vinnie’s “Schticky” lint rollers. Especially since Vinnie’s black eye and broken nose have healed up. Damn, those $20 hookers really have an attitude.

How sad is it that we are seeking a back-story to some T.V. hucksters personal peccadilloes, to entertain us between the rehash of mindless quotations from U.S. Congressmen. Nevermind that most of these clowns spouting are the ones that brought us to this dance.. We are so screwed. Dumbplumber