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Saturday, December 31, 2011

Tale of Two Tee Shirts

This shirt was made about 3 years ago, when Palin and the Tea Party had a chance to save America.

This shirt was made last week, after 3 years of Obama and his Fascist regime RAPED America and NEUTERED our Congress.

Read 'em and weep for our Country.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Questions about Christmas

After a little over six decades of absorbing facts, figures and fictions, dressed up to look like facts, I still have questions.

Question One: Every year we are lectured to about the ‘meaning of Christmas’. You know, it’s not about the shopping, gift giving and extravagant efforts to impress a lot of really self-absorbed nimcompoops. It’s about the birth of Christ and what it means to mankind. The birth of God’s son and ‘His’ message that will be sent through Christ to all.

With that in mind, why and who are the people killing and maiming each other over a pair of $180 Nike Airs?

Question Two: The lectures continue that it is God’s wish for Peace on Earth and Good Will toward Men.

But what has happened when 300 bargain hunters blow out the front doors of a Best Buy to get to a $299, 32inch flat screen t.v.?

Question Three: If 80% of Americans claim to be Christians, is it the 1% of Muslims, the .5% of Hindus, the 3.7% of Jews or the 15% of non-religious Americans kicking in the doors to get the bargain basement deals in the final hours of Christmas shopping? (I know it doesn’t add up to 100%, but I had to leave out the dozens of microscopic religions and the tin-foil-hat wearing moonbats that we share air with)

Question Four: If it is a fact that it is better to give than receive, why oh why doesn’t Congress ‘GIVE’ us a break, instead of voting over and over to put us into Receivership?

Question Five: If everyone in Congress and the Administration believes that bi-partisanship is essential to a stable government, then how do we square that with the knowledge that bi-partisanship is how we got to where we are, poising for a Swandive into the abyss?

We are So Screwed….Merry Christmas to All Dumbplumber minions.

Friday, December 23, 2011

I Had a Dream

I had a dream this morning (actually a day dream). I dreamt that after Mitt Romney secured the Republican nomination (after the Dems had eliminated everyone else), Sarah Palin glommed onto the also-rans and mounted a Conservative Party challenge to the Brylcreem RINO candidate. I saw Allan West as VP, Newt as Secretary of State, Cain at Commerce, Bachmann at Justice and Paul Ryan at Treasury.

I also saw Huntsman as a tour director at the Tabernacle, Ron Paul as the ’Nurse Ratched’ at a Texas loon bin and Rick Perry as Texas Governor (anything else just isn’t big enough).

The long and short of it is a political apocalypse. Mittens wouldn’t know what hit him. It would be a ‘Mission to Save America’ from itself.

Palin mounts the stage with her team of committed conservatives and lays out the plan to save America, after telling us just how screwed we are. She would cite chapter, line and verse of our situation and point her finger at those that brought us to this dance. No sitting politician, banker or lobbyist, involved with our demise, would be spared. No vote would be asked for that didn’t come with a pledge to purge the rolls of Wall Street, Congress and Kst lobbying firms of the vermin that has put America on the brink of disaster.

I see the masses coming together, once they realize their plight, in groups that would need ten Super Bowl stadiums to seat. The roar of outrage would be deafening. America would mobilize to end the madness and send the Liberals, RHINOs and Socialists packing to the darkness of the cracks from where they came.

Uh, uh, uh. Harumpfh, snarful, kerpiffle. Sorry about that. Remember it was just a dream.

We are so Screwed, Dumbplumber

The Big Game

It came to me in the wee hours that the financial predicament we are facing may just well have a metaphoric comparison that we can understand, even if the Fed and our political leaders do not.

Congress, the President and the Fed have taken a ‘hike’ from the five yard line and have thrown a ‘Hail Mary’ pass from the end zone. So far, it isn’t about who is going to catch it. It’s about how high it was thrown; how far it was thrown; how many slo-mo shots will be taken of it in the air; how many time outs will be called while it’s in the air; how many commercials (fiddling by Congress) will run after the throw and whether or not the game will be called because of weather before the ball is caught.

About the only things for certain are: The game will NEVER end; the ball will never be caught (because it was never intended to be caught) and the spectators are trapped in the stadium, because the doors were nailed shut after kickoff.

But not to worry, no matter what you had when you got to the game, you won’t have it if you are ever allowed to leave.

We are So Screwed,

Digging Holes

It is often said, when you discover you are in a hole, stop digging.

Well, America, especially America’s leaders have been in a hole for quite awhile and they’re still digging. It could be argued that this trait is so important that in the future possessing the DNA of a Honey Badger will be necessary to hold public office.

And it took the longest time to realize that they weren’t digging with a couple of John Deere backhoes. No, it appeared that they had fired up a fleet of Buffalo Springfield steam shovels, that have a bucket that can hold six Chevy Silverados side by side, and were running them 24/7/365, in high gear.

As an aside, construction codes require that any trench more than five feet deep have safety ‘shoring’ to protect the diggers from collapse. Well folks, we could fall and mill every tree in America and you wouldn’t have nearly enough lumber to shore up the hole we’re in.

Then it occurred to me that we are confusing ‘digging a hole’ with a ‘Black Hole‘. The difference being one you continue to make bigger and the other consumes everything that comes near it and still wants more and more.

Of course, once something is consumed by a Black Hole, no one knows what happens to it. Sound familiar?

Yes my friends, a Black Hole far more accurately describes what is going on today. Our leaders can’t explain what happened to the taxes we paid last week, meanwhile they scheme to seize earnings of our heirs, into infinity and beyond. And they do this knowing full well that they will never be held accountable for what they do with what they take.

So from this day forward, you can live with the full knowledge that comparing our leaders with John Deere tractors is an insult to the tractors. Because every John Deere I know gives back far more than it takes.

We are So Screwed,

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Getting Hosed

Let me get this straight, everyone in power professes that we must honor the Constitution. Okay, let’s review.

The President is using his Cabinet and agencies as a cudgel to bludgeon commerce into submission, beating them like a drum with higher taxes, an endless permitting process, and onerous environmental regulations. Meanwhile, he has taken to military actions without congressional approval, spending billions pounding foreign military dictators into submission, so that the Muslim Brotherhood can take control of contested countries.

Congress, on the other hand, (which hasn’t passed a budget for almost three years) makes itself busy passing Spending Bills and semi-monthly Continuing Resolutions to keep the paychecks flowing and the Party going, between rounds of faux-arguments over raising the Debt Ceiling and ‘manufactured’ outrage over out of control spending, lack of border control, blatant voter fraud and unsustainable entitlements. But there’s nothing to see here. Everything is under control.

Meanwhile, Appellate Courts are ruling in favor of MORE spending, LESS personal responsibility and absolutely NO adherence to the Constitution. And those nine Ninnies on the Supreme Court are hearing landmark cases years after the damage has been done and hundreds of billions have gone out the door, at the expense of taxpayers. Oops, we bad. Where, pray tell, do I go to get my taxes back?

Nevermind that nowhere within the confines of Washington D.C., do we hear the words, “$100 trillion dollars in Debt and Unfunded Liabilities”.

We hear instead: It’s tax the rich, (even though it’s been established that, if you took all the wealth from the top 5% of the wealthy, it would run our government for less than eleven months), give it to the poor (that over 50% of which have refrigerators, televisions, tattoos and cell phones), build government (which gets 30 to 60 percent higher wages and benefits than the private sector). And the 800 lb gorilla in the room, extend unemployment benefits into the infinity and beyond. What could possibly go wrong?

In short, “We are so Screwed”.

It just occurred to me that Christopher Hitchens needs an epitath:

Christopher Hitchens

At least it's a dry heat

Sunday, December 04, 2011

More What II

Liberals, Progressives and other assorted left-wing Loons keep portraying Conservatives as “haters“. Well Dumbplumber is here to tell you that this is a bunch of malarkey.

Lefties are confusing ‘hate’ with concern; hate with disappointment; hate with antipathy; hate with revulsion; hate with exasperation and hate with disgust. But “hate”, no way.

If you want to see hate, wait until the Moonbats stop receiving their formerly unending unemployment checks; stop receiving food stamps (the sale of which supports their drug addictions, tattoo collections and alcohol consumption); stop receiving their free healthcare (exacerbated by all the above); stop receiving their SSI benefits because it is discovered that their PTSD, ADD, ADHD and any other form of “D” disability has been deemed ‘manufactured’; stopped receiving Section 8 housing subsidies, because the original beneficiary, ‘Mom’ has been dead for five years, etc.,etc..

You will discover then, and only then, what true “hate” is.

Long before the California Primaries (June) the Main Stream Media will be telling us that “we” have picked a Republican candidate. As a point of order I might suggest that we picked “their” candidate, because all of “our” candidates were drummed out of the competition by “them”. (If they asked me to elaborate, I would refuse. It would only make their heads explode)

You know we were screwed when the “Deficit Commission” eluded that they couldn’t agree on ANY cuts to our budget (not that we’ve had one for the past two years). They couldn’t even agree on cutting the $400 billion that everyone agrees is wasted in Social Security and Medicare, through fraud and abuse. Hoookaaayyyy!

No wonder everyone is buying more this Christmas. Seems that it is not untypical for a foreclosure to last over 600 days. Isn’t that nice to save those pesky old mortgage payments for Xmas presents?

Time for Honesty

It’s time for a little honesty in our Public Servants. Therefore, from this time forward, Dumbplumber suggests that all government officials, law enforcement, even the president, should NOT take the Oath of Office. Mostly because the oath commit’s the oath taker to “support and defend the Constitution“, which every day the office holders will most likely violate.

If there is to be an oath, let it be to an Official Code of Conduct, to the ACLU and to ambulance chasers everywhere that will sue public officials for as little as a casual, misinterpreted glance.

I suggest this for two reasons: One, officials fear the latter far more than the Constitution. And two, the Constitution for all its simplicity and clarity, could never be argued, with a strait face, in any court in America

Saturday, December 03, 2011



We hear so much about “compromise” and “consensus” these days, it must not occur to anyone that compromise and consensus is what brought us to this dance. The rocket scientists on Capitol Hill all agree that the “system is broken” but no one admits that they are the ones responsible for fixing it.

Let‘s all agree, Congress holds the purse strings of government. Check. Congress keeps raising the debt ceiling. Check. Congress continues to spend money well beyond the amount received in taxes. Check. Congress hasn’t produced a budget in over two years. Check. Instead Congress authorizes what is described as “continuing resolutions”, which is no where to be found in our Constitution. Check.

The President directs the agencies of government to do what He wants in spending their budgets. Check. The President directs the U.S. Treasury to backfill the spending shortfall by selling U.S. Debt to countries like China and Saudi Arabia, who really don’t like us very much. Check. The U.S. is currently borrowing about $1.5 trillion a year, or 40% of every dollar we spend. Check.

Everyone agrees that ‘excessive’ regulations stymie private enterprise and therefore discourage business, which results in lower tax revenue. Check.

However, these agencies continue to churn out over 90,000 pages of regulations each year, not one of which stimulates commerce. Check. But Congress nor the Administration has done anything to eliminate or even slow the tidal wave of regulations. Check.

Liberals believe that we can spend our way to prosperity, by borrowing money from our enemies and giving it to the unemployed, the disabled (no matter the level of disability), grifters, scammers and anybody else sucking at the government teat that will vote Democrat. Check.

Republicans (note how I did not say Conservatives) believe that expanding the tax base, by encouraging business through relaxing excessive regulations and lowering taxes, while cutting expenses is the most efficient way to prosperity. However “both” parties continue to give away taxpayer money to Agriculture, Manufacturing and Energy to maintain their campaign cash flow and voting blocks. Check.

Voting Americans continue to re-elect Congressmen, Senators and Presidents, who maintain this status quo. Check.

We are so Screwed. Double Check and Checkmate.


Finding Faith

Finding Faith

It was only a couple of weeks between a well intentioned phone call from some very nice lady, who asked if I studied the Bible and a visit from a local contractor, who was going door to door spreading the Word. To both I was polite, but firm when I said that I had a very personal and ongoing relationship with God. I talk, he listens.

But it got me to thinking, what is Faith?

Well, to some, faith is gathering and increasing the flock as my contractor friend was doing. To others it is getting up Sunday morning and attending services at their local house of worship, then getting home for a one o’clock kickoff. Yet to others it is kneeling at the bedside to utter prayers or to simply say grace at the dinner table.

We all know that Muslims pray five times a day, when they are not beating their wives for backtalk, killing their daughters for dating outside the religion or plotting to kill those that don’t share Mohammad’s teachings. Meanwhile, they proclaim they are the ‘religion of peace’, as long as your religion is also Islam. Nevermind that it is Islamic terrorists that are the source of 99% of regional conflicts around the world today.

But it isn’t only Muslims that are rigid theocratic idealogues. There are many over the world that make religion and faith the center of their lives without benefit of being clergy. Missionaries travel world over doing good deeds, while activist religious laypeople work tirelessly within communities giving comfort, distributing food, clothing and arranging shelter to those in need, while others volunteer to teach Christian values to youth and others as a need to be filled.

No sir, there may be no end to the way faith is expressed. But one thing is for sure, there is no end to those that pontificate what it should be. Myself, I will keep up the dialog until I’m told differently or finally just told to shut up. I know, I know it may be considered a nagging thing.