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Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Twilight Revelation Intelligent Design

It was in the wee hours of the morning that it came to me. Scientists, pseudo intellectuals, Left wing commie scholars and half witted, highly educated atheists, along with a whole cadre of highly mis-informed, but clueless agnostics, all have it wrong. They all dismiss ‘intelligent design’ or a higher power having created the life and the living we have today.

Now don’t confuse the Dumbplumber with the Born Again Right, the bible thumping do-gooders or the theologically adept. The Dumbplumber is just a simple observer. And on this subject he has observed that those who are supposed to know, don’t know diddly.

Oh, I have listened to the highbrows debate the theory of intelligent design against the science of evolution. In those debates, they both are wrong. Evolutionists believe and declare that there is NO science that supports intelligent design, while the evolutionists cannot reproduce one spec of evidence how life began.

Now I don’t want the evolutionists to lay out the path from pond slim to the inner workings of Steven Hawking. But I certainly believe that some sign of their beliefs, should be reproducible. The ‘degree packing’ disbelievers are most likely struggling more with professional envy of ‘intelligent design’, rather than any real effort to reproduce it.

Now I don’t expect today’s scientists to develop a complete human from clay and ashes, nor do I expect them to reproduce, say, the human eyeball. But, is it too much to ask those that pooh, pooh ‘intelligent design’ to, say, conjure up a single cell amoeba or at least a small bowl of algae. It isn’t like they have to do it by guessing, for Christ’s sake, (no pun intended), they already have the finished product. They have the advantage over the original creator, in that they can reverse engineer it. (For those of you from the Blue states, that means take apart the finished product and see how it was made)

Let’s face it, today’s engineers, biologists and scientists have the distinct advantage of the latest technologies, like lasers, fusion, fission and all those glass thingies with the colored liquids bubbling in the labs. On the other hand life’s engineers only had water, dirt, lightning, nitrogen, oxygen, some methane gas, maybe some space aliens, and a few billion years to conjure up pond slime (which has routinely been mistaken for the legal community).

Now I don’t want and go off on a rant here, but if you can’t at least make some sort of life with all the advantages you have today, you certainly haven’t earned the right to deny the existence of someone or something that has. Or, as they say in Texas, put up or shut up.

So, in the interest of fairness, the Dumbplumber will not speculate one way or the other on intelligent design or evolution. First, because that decision is well above his pay grade and second because it is a waste of his valuable time having a shoot out with an unarmed opponent. Because, if you can’t do something, don’t deny the existence of someone who already has.

Monday, May 08, 2006

For Sale By Owner

An advertisement for people in the Cities who think they have it all.

For Sale by Owner

2bdrm/2bath with 1200sq ft shop. $5 million, take it or leave it. Listed exclusively in the SF Bay Area, because you are the only ones dumb enough to pay it.

House is perched above the Pit River in Fall River Mills, Ca. looking over an unobstructed view of the Knoch Ranch on the eastern side of The Fall River Valley. A view costing ten times what I paid for it, but fifty times better than yours.

Mature trees dot the property and small fruit trees are just beginning to produce. The Pit river is a major flyway for geese, ducks, hawks and eagles, with the occasional pelican or cormorant, possessing a brain the size of a walnut, are smarter than you cesspool dwellers from the City.

Fall River may not have 4 star restaurants, or concierges at the hotels, but we have don’t have panhandlers, towel head taxi drivers or homeless shelters either. Our civic leaders mostly stay huddled in Redding, about 70 miles away and generally show up only for parades and votes. And while they think they govern us, our local population is what makes us work, unlike you idiots who have your mayor and his cronies micro-manage your every move, while you import your dishwashers, maids, and other assorted mandatory maintenance personnel from Modesto.

View includes a meandering oxbow in the river, which rivals anything you have to brag about down there. And when you have a water shortage, I routinely piss in the river with my neighbors, so your hired help from Sacramento will have something to wash their toothbrushes in. Our cattle, rice and berry farms produce food, so you ditwads won’t starve, while our groceries come to our local market from Freemont. Go figure.

We don’t care who you are or who your daddy is. But if you chose to come here, leave your ego, attitude and city ways behind, because they won’t buy jack here. No, it won’t appraise anywhere near the asking price. But it is worth far more than where your sorry ass lives now.

Contact the Dumbplumber, 1-800-GOT-OURS