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Wednesday, February 29, 2012

V-tude Rules

We all know that verisimilitude (suspension of disbelief) plays a huge part in our love of movies. I like to refer to it as ‘V-tude’. It is why we yearn to soar with ET, to ‘free dive’ with Ed Harris into the Abyss, or even join Wilford Brimley and Don Ameche when their cabin cruiser is drawn up into the Alien Mothership, in Cocoon. The endorphins usually remain during your walk back to the car, but the fading memories may last for weeks.

But what of the feelings you get when some politician has blown these same endorphin laced gases up your skirt during a campaign? You know like the ones Obama blew when I first saw him speak in Springfield, Illinois, back in 2007, when he launched his ‘Hope and Change’ traveling smokescreen.

The difference is that once you walk away from the movie, you keep the memories, but discard the endorphins. However, with politicians like Obama, you get weekly reinforcements, like fixes from a drug dealer. But just like the friendly drug dealer, the fixes keep getting bigger and more expensive. This is where we are with Mr. Obama. He has, through a compliant Congress and his bus load of Czars, implemented the largest transformation of government and transfer of wealth in American history. Question is, who is paying for the fixes?

Unfortunately, in the age of 24 hr. Cable News, Twitter and Facebook, Vtude doesn’t hold up very well. Folks soon discover that what you said just weeks ago doesn’t jive with what you did last Friday night, before you jetted off to Chicago for a $500,000 pizza.

After you have failed to fill up their car, secure their job and even let their house go into foreclosure, they begin to lose that lovin’ feeling. Many begin to believe that they have been scammed for their one vote, no matter how much the MSM tries to cover up your snow-job.

You see pilgrims, the difference between political endorphins and movies is that with movies you get popped-corn but in politics you get ‘corn-holed‘.

We are So Screwed. Dumbplumber

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

I'm Staying Home

Growing up, I was often told to clean up my messes. I made them, I had to clean them up. Bad election decisions are no different.

For all you, “We must vote for anyone but Obama” crowd, I say, don’t ask me to help you out. Most of you idiots voted for that jug-eared socialist, carnival barker, because he was so cool. So you can just clean up your own mess. Me, I’m staying home. And I can now safely say that I won’t be alone. If you don’t admit that you made a mistake, you haven’t learned anything.

If you’re one of those addicted to ‘His’ entitlement gravy train, you have probably already figured out that it is an unsustainable model, no matter how much you raise taxes. If you haven’t figured it out, you are about to be very disappointed when the gravy train gets derailed.

As for the current field of candidates, Jay Leno said it best. “If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates”. Instead, so far, he has given us someone to vote against.

No my friends, 2012 has given a unique set of circumstances that will test the mettle of our electorate. Unfortunately, it has also revealed some of the dumbest voters in the history of history. You would expect illegal aliens, preschoolers and brain dead prison inmates to not know any of our Supreme Court Justices, Congressmen or even the vice-president. But college students!

And not a week goes by that some well known talking head with a microphone goes on the street to ask passers-by to identify top office holders, world leaders or even their own representatives, only to get a shrug and a deer-in-the-headlights look. But by God, they know Snooki, SnoopDog and Justin Bieber.

And to add insult to injury, you would think that the 49 percent of America that receives some form of government assistance, would know who is the source of that largess. Well you can bet that they will know who they are when the checks stop coming.

We are So Screwed.

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Screwing with the Supremes

Has anyone else but me noticed that our Judicial system is way behind the curve, and the 8 Ball as well. I mean just look at this:

In ‘09 Obama and Congressional Democrats shove through a $800 billion dollar stimulus bill and then handed out the proceeds to state employees, union goons, union contractors and other assorted Friends-of-Obama. Taxpayers revolted and began lawsuits challenging legality of this action.

Obama mandates No Drilling in the Gulf, so Texas, Mississippi and Alabama filed lawsuits to overturn the order.

Arizona, threatened with illegal immigration, decides unilaterally to enforce federal laws. Obama sues to deny them authority.

Congress, against the wishes of America and under control of Democrats, passes Obamacare, without bothering to read the Bill. Now dozens of states file suit against the new law in general and the Individual Mandate (forced purchase of Obamacare) in particular.

And most recently, Obama orders a “birth control mandate” under new HHS rules, even if it offends religious organizations, schools and churches as well as violates the Constitution. This mandate includes free birth control pills, abortion and ‘Day-After’ pills. Seven states have now signed on to a lawsuit to end the practice.

And the list goes on. Now to the point. The lawsuits against Obama, his henchmen and Cabinet officials are legion. But time has shown us that not ONE of these lawsuits have been adjudicated successfully, nay but one has found its way to the Supreme Court. And this is 2012!

In a matter of days, Obama and Company can hand down mandates, directives, laws and regulations that it takes, not months, but years to hear at the High Court. This Administration is a living, breathing, walking, talking lawsuit machine that will not be stopped. For if you win one battle, another dozen actions are in the hopper to be foisted upon unsuspecting citizens.

So don’t be shocked when the Supremes, reviewing twisted decisions of the past, draft decisions unrecognizable under our Constitution.  We are so Screwed.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Posting the Obvious

Seems that the government bean counters have discovered that Amtrak is running in the red, because of ‘waste, fraud and abuse’. Whoa, stop the presses. Meanwhile, Social Security, (under SSI) is hundreds of billions out of round, because of waste, fraud and abuse. Nevermind that Medicaid under Medicare is also hundreds of billions in the hole because of…….wait for it….. ‘waste, fraud and abuse’.

Nevermind that not a year goes by that we don’t hear that every department of every Cabinet position is rife with waste, fraud and abuse, but we continue with the same administrations, the same bureaucrats and the same personnel, but we expect things to get better. Yup, me too.

And whether it was NASA, military prototype equipment or mandated Green technologies, every audit reveals billions in waste, fraud and abuse. Of course corruption enters into all of these, but that requires useless, endless, pointless Congressional hearings where bad guys lawyer-up and avoid useless, pointless, endless questions from politicians that don’t know squat about the subject of the hearings.

And we mustn’t forget our military installations all round the world, their daily support and associated whiffle-wars, where we kill a bunch of whacko nut bags and maybe a bloody dictator or two, all-the-while….you got it, ‘wasting, frauding and abusing‘.

Then, as if we haven’t pissed away enough of hard working taxpayer money, we dump more billions into the coffers of despots, dictators and tyrants, with little oversight and no, repeat, no accountability. I’ll leave it up to you whether it was waste, fraud, abuse, or just plain stupid. You pick.

Dumbplumber is beginning to see a pattern here.

But not to worry, we just keep jacking up the limit on our Chinese backfilled credit card. What could possibly go wrong?


Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Why we're Doomed

For sake of conversation, why don’t we just cut to the chase. As much as the pollsters, pontificators and political hacks like to tell us that politics is complicated, it’s really not. Brain surgery is complicated. Rocket science is complicated, (You know with all that pi stuff). Even knitting is complicated. I know, I’ve watched my wife do it for years and I couldn‘t knit a vowel.

But politics, not so much. Here’s how the Dumbplumber breaks it down.

Democrats will vote for a democrat, just because there is a ‘D’ next to their name. Fortunately, there’s no Dipstick Party or there might be a problem on Election Day. So there goes almost half the population.

Most Democrats will vote democrat because that is where the gravy train is. Nearly every giveaway program, that is unsustainable, is from Democrats. Nearly every union lackey, every deadbeat, every scammer, every con-man, every manipulator of America’s entitlement programs is a Democrat. Democrats don’t know what the term ‘Personal Responsibility’ means. Perhaps that is why you have never heard them say it. Likewise, lower taxes, less spending and smaller government. It just isn’t in their DNA.

Republicans, unfortunately, are a little confused. We have the RINOs (Republicans In Name Only) who cling to their ‘Establishment’ candidates like they cling to their cocktails, Cuban cigars and concubines. They get their marching orders from the RNC (Republican National Committee), then wear blinders all the way to the polling booth. They wouldn’t know a bad Republican if you introduced them to Richard Nixon.

And last, but not least, we have Independents and Conservatives. These are the ones that recognize the last 75 years of RINOs and Liberals are the ones that have brought us to the most spending, the biggest government and least Liberty we have had since the ratifying of our Constitution.

The only thing left to see is if enough Blue Dog Democrats, Conservative Republicans and Self Preservation Independents can act to save our Union. But with 60% of our nation either entrenched, enabled or entitled, don’t bet the rest of your life on it. Dumbplumber

Sunday, February 19, 2012

A Little Taste of Reality

Yesterday, today and tomorrow’s worst kept secret is the talk of a “brokered” Republican Convention. Basically that means that no one in the current field has been able to ‘lie’ themselves into the leadership slot. That’s because the Conservative wing of the Republican Party will no longer fall for the Establishment rhetoric that has brought us to where we are today. Bipartisanship, consensus and compromise aren’t selling well in the Heartland or anywhere else it is being touted. Sorry Mittens, this is your Achilles Heal. More window dressing for the First Loser.

Santorum, Gingrich and Paul should learn that getting ‘high centered’ on issues like abortion, health care, school lunches and contraception are NOT, NOT, NOT what Conservatives of all stripes are focused on.

NO, while Medicare (and the bastardization of it) has created more than a $600 billion hole in our annual non-Budget, it is expected to balloon to $1trillion by 2025. Medicare among other out of control spending issues will be one of the jobs of the next administration, not the only job. Time to move on folks. Every minute we are perched on this ‘abortion albatross’ is a minute we’re not talking about what this ‘jug-eared’ Community-organizer-in-chief and his cadre of Communist/Marxist/Socialists have done and are planning to do to our Republic.

Taxing and Regulating our economy to death, jeopardizing our defenses by gutting our military might, plundering our children’s future on pie-in-the-sky alternative energy, forcing the private sector into unionization and the accompanying unsustainable pension and benefit plans, demonizing our energy superiority with out of this world regulation and catering to despots, dictators and tyrants is just a taste of what we should be debating. Not what little Jimmy had for lunch at school today.

You want a taste of what a brokered convention will look like, you might get the postings of the 3 candidates speeches (Mr. Tinfoil Hat was busy somewhere else) and the one of Sarah Palin at CPAC. Now I don’t want to go out on a limb here, but if anyone thinks Jeb Bush, Chris Christie or Mitch Daniels will bring this convention to their feet like Sarah, well I want to know what they’re smoking.

Wednesday, February 08, 2012

Still loving It

You know, you gotta love it. Establishment Republicans, Obama Liberals and the MSM all have designated Romney as the presumptive frontrunner and candidate to challenge Obama. At every available moment the broadcasts tout the coming challenges of Romney against Obama, seldom mentioning any of the other candidates.

And then a Caucus or Primary election happens. Oops, Romney couldn’t retain the voters he had in ‘08, which says more about Romney than it does Santorum. And it says a whole lot more about the media and Establishment politics, when they take the voters for granted.

Looks like the voters didn’t get the memo.

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

Grand Illusion

Grand Illusion

Maybe now that Obama has adopted the, once evil, SuperPac concept, maybe he can now re-enable his corrupted website and stop those pesky foreign donations, donations from cartoon characters, donations from folks with names without vowels and those from towns not found on any map.

Obama’s Chicago-based SuperPac(s) will now enjoy unlimited, unaccountable amounts of money to flow freely from corrupt union goons, vacuous Hollywood heavyweights and a cadre of well-healed CEOs from failed Green companies, given billions by Obama, that he borrowed from China and charged to American taxpayers.

And as we all know, there’s nothing quite as magical as money disappearing in Illinois.

We are so Screwed