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Tuesday, March 07, 2006

The Bob and Allah Show

Well, Ole Bob Williams is at it again. But this time I agree with about 30% of what he says. First, you can't begin to compare today's soldier with those in WWII. In the 40's all you had to do was about 300 pushups, obey orders, shoot straight and you were headed for action. Today, you need to do all those plus carry twice the backpack, train for all the technology and wear about 90lbs in body armor.

Now I know that Ole Bob doesn't think we should be in Iraq. If he had his way, Saddam would still be in control, bribing the U.N., violating sanctions and treating UN resolutions as if they were a promise to stop smoking right after New Years Eve, slaughtering his countrymen, plotting the invasion of his neighbors and moving his weapons programs around like a street huckster playing "Three Card Monte".

On the other hand, Saddam knew what we are now just learning. A brutal dictatorship is the only way to keep these countrymen from killing each other. Seems that Sunnis and Shiites alike wake up each morning dreaming of ways to eliminate the Jews. But first, like the Hatfields and McCoys, they must kill each other for this privilege. We must never forget (and some must finally realize) that many of these mutton breath, desert dwelling, Allah lovin' camel jockeys see killing Infidels as a path to heaven. And yes, brothers and sisters, we are the Infidels. This is one fact we, and ole Bob, cannot escape and is the driving force among an enemy that lives to see us dead.

This War is like none we have ever encountered. Nailing down this enemy is like screwing Jello to the wall. They have no uniforms, no Capitol, no borders, no scruples. They enjoy hiding among their peace loving Muslim counterparts, with little fear of retribution, objection, rejection or expulsion. Their stock in trade is to randomly detonate high explosives, without rhyme or reason, killing as many innocent bystanders as possible. Their stated goal is to kill all Infidels--that being everyone except Allah fearing, gun totting, terrorists--which explains why so many of their fellow Muslims are now pushing up daisies. Graveyards are filled with those that made the mistake of living in harmony with those of the Western culture.

You see folks, ole Bob and his fellow appeasers haven't yet figured out that we are in a War for the rest of our lives, his and ours. Right now it is easy to criticize those that have figured this out. But when Mohammed comes knocking at Ole Bob's door, he will suddenly realize that appeasing will NOT keep his head attached to his shoulders. And in his final seconds of life, Ole Bob will come to realize why Harry Truman spent his last years wrestling with a decision that saved America's future.

What Can Brown Do For You?

What can Brown do for you?
UPS has paid ’through the nose’ for some ad agency to tell us what many of us already know. Brown knows things. Fortunately ‘Brown’ happens to be a very common name, which is attached to some very uncommon people, of which one is a friend of mine.

There are many things this particular Brown can do for you. One is to point out when you have completely screwed up. This will most likely come with the octaves of a fog horn, to a crowd of your peers. It is not so much an effort to humiliate you but an attempt to change your behavior. Well ok, it is an attempt to humiliate you. Dummy.

Brown will be among the first to announce the shortcomings of our elected, appointed and salaried public officials. The level of inefficiency, incompetence and insensitivity by these individuals is routine fodder for his grist. Just one boneheaded stunt by any of these public servants will unleash a tirade of honorable mention.

Woe be the lowly tax official, who attempts to exert authority they do not have, when speaking to Brown. Best they deal with Brown’s tax man, rather than face the wrath of Brown, who has little patience with half-baked bureaucrats with a power complex.

Brown will point out that your Indonesian, Indian, or Chinese customer service representatives cannot be understood on the phone. You may consider this a good thing, since no one else can understand them either.

If you produce movies or television programs, which have political, racial or homosexual themed plots, you might face ‘the Brown effect‘, which will be a high pitched tirade, most likely in public, that will hopefully remind you and your viewers that movies are for entertainment, not pushing an agenda.

I have known Brown for almost 20 years and aside from his refreshing and outspoken judgments of social blunders, he is the last person you want pointing out your shortcomings and the first person you can count on, when the chips are down.

Portly Politics

So, the administration is in favor of the transfer of some strategic port operations to a company from the United Arab Emirates, a decidedly Muslim country, surrounded by Muslim countries. Our administration claims the sale and operation has been thoroughly vetted by U.S.
authorities and this transaction and transfer poses NO threat to U.S.

Well, all righty then. Who were the brain surgeons that vetted the sale of salvage metals to Japan in the late ‘30s, hatched and then bungled the Bay of Pigs invasion in ‘61, propped up and support the Shah of Iran in the ‘60‘s and ‘70‘s, supplied advanced weapons to Saddam Hussein, in the ‘80’s and a host of other collectively stupid ideas in between?

Like the road to hell, history’s roadmap is littered with the good intentions of previous U.S. authorities. If and until the UAE helps the Western world get a handle on the War on Terror, you can put all the lipstick you want on this pig, but it ain’t gonna fly.

The Clinton of Airstream

What the Hell is all this about? William Jefferson Clinton, impeached past President of the United States, paramour of Monica Lewinski, principle in Whitewater, Party perjurer, predator of Paula Jones, rapist of Juanita Broaddrick, is now an un-registered agent for an Emir in Dubai. He has received over $600k for speaking engagements and millions more in compensation and donations from the UAE without registering as an agent for a foreign country.

And what donations did he receive? Over a million dollars for the Clinton Library. Has anyone seen this abortion. It looks like an homage to trailer parks. Better yet, an appropriate symbol of the phallus of all trailers, the Airstream, the perfect metaphor for temporary relationships. I haven?t seen so much aluminum since the aircraft graveyard in the Mojave Desert.

Having dodged the criminal and political bullets of past indiscretions, he is now plowing new turf in an ambitious effort to amass tens of millions in personal wealth, no matter the fallout for his beloved wife?s political future.

But you can rest easy folks, Bill, with all his efforts, will never accumulate money anywhere near what Michael Jackson has thrown away in the past two years, what Bill Gates makes in a week or the ?Google Boys? lost in a day.