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Monday, August 24, 2009

Obama Land Health Care for the Deluded

Now don’tcha just hate it when someone says you’re lying? I bet Obama hates it too, but you can’t tell it by the way he keeps on doing it.

For instance, Obama looks right into the camera and at the crowds and tells us that, “If you want to keep your private insurance you can”. What he doesn’t say is that under a Single Payer Plan--where the Government controls your insurance--private insurance companies will go the way of the dinosaurs, leaving the Gov’ment as the masses only healthcare source.

Now this isn’t brain surgery folks. If the government offers a lower priced plan, employers everywhere will opt out for that plan, because it will be reflected on their bottom lines. Duh. So, if there are no other plans as a result of nationwide insurance company bankruptcies, well I guess you will just have to buy into Obamacare. See, that isn’t so hard to understand, is it?

The irony is, is that all those Liberal mouthpieces spouting the Obamacare TODAY will eventually be schlepped over from their Cadillac plans TOMORROW and will be waiting in line with the rest of us schmucks for doctors appointments. Not a well thought out strategy, especially if you happen to be a 60 year old Liberal that needs new knees or hips.

The first Zippy-in-chief also says you get to keep your own doctor. Okaaaaay. Well if your doctor is used to the good life in the heavy six or seven figure income bracket, he might just open a new office in the Caymans or Belize, where he can cater to his other six and seven income patients in a Medical Tourism practice. Or he may open a Consierge Practice, where he accepts only cash, then haul it to a Cayman bank to keep the government’s greedy paws off it.

No matter what, the rich are NOT going to stand in line with the rest of us. They are going to go about their business, not because of the government, but in spite of it. And the Dumbplumber predicts that there will be an epidemic of “cash and creative banking” programs sprouting up across America. Welcome to Obama Land.

Whistling Past the Graveyard

So, all the business gurus are chiming in on the end of the recession and how good times are just around the corner. Yeah right!

Let’s review. Liberals, Environmentalists, Congressional Nutbags and Labor Unions have spent decades heaping regulations, taxes, administrative hurdles and punitive pay and benefit packages on America’s business community. To the extent that all it took was a little bump in the road to derail the U.S. economy, sending the world economy into a tailspin.

Banks were taken over. Major retailers closed. Manufacturers that survived either went overseas or were downsized here. And those that remain face an explosion of higher fees, higher energy costs and more regulation. But somewhere in this pile of road apples must be a pony, because all the business talking heads are buying into ponypoop.

Enter the Dumbplumber. Time to pull the plug on this rosy scenario. With Obama poised to foist a mandatory healthcare plan, knee-cap and tax to increase energy costs and dangling the “Porkulus” billions at potential union recruits, there is little “Hope” that things are going to “Change” for the better any time soon. In fact, as the crystal ball gazers at Wall and Broad see more and more resistance to Zippy’s busy schedule, the market reacts positively.

Don’t believe it? Just see what happens when one of these socialist policies actually passes Congress. The market will drop faster than Monica did to her knees in the Oval Office. But take heart.

If the Democrats use the “nuclear” option on Obamacare, Knee Cap and Tax or Cardcheck, they will pay and pay dearly come November 2010. You see, America has awaken to the doubletalking, backstabbing weasels that are dismantling our country. In fact, I firmly believe many if not all, Democrats--and some Repubs--who have sign on to the socialist agenda will be via condios come the midterms.

As per Michael Steele: “use the nuclear option at your peril“.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Stop the Madness Train

The Dumbplumber has to stop this train for a moment. Time for some perspective, sober analysis and correction of the record.

First of all, disagreeing with the president is not “racist”. Questioning the First Lady’s attire is not “sexist”. And protesting against Madam Pelosi, Senior Reid or Vice Dummy Biden is not “un-American“. And people who show up to disagree with Congress are not “terrorists”, no matter what Liberals say.

How I know this is that when I disagree with the President, it’s because he is a community organizer and not a leader. Aside from nominating Sotomayor to the high court, he hasn’t done anything to lead since taking office. World tours apologizing for America’s greatness is not leading. Bailing out Citibank, the UAW and ACORN is not leading. And most of all, spending money that we don’t have is NOT leading, it is buying votes.

When someone says that the First Lady’s ass is big, it’s a fact, not sexist. She has a hottentot butt and an Attilla the Hun attitude. Get over it. Her choice of clothing looks more like she’s going to a square dance or yard sale in the Castro District or Hollywood than representing the U.S. to the rest of the world. And with a personal entourage costing taxpayers over a million bucks a year, you would think someone would be on the payroll that would tell her, her ass is two ax handles wide.

I know that I’m not un-American because Senora Pelosi said so, in 2003. It has been only since her head on collision with what’s left of common sense and self preservation that she has discovered the “un-Americans”.

As for Congressional leaders claiming that “terrorists” are attending town halls and tea parties, just wait until they use the “nuclear option” to put America into the new stone age. THEN they will be terrorists.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Obama's Demise

Now there’s a lot of conversation going on about Republicans or Conservatives that want to see Obama dead. Of course that’s blasphemous,, twisted, perverted and categorically untrue. A true Conservative does not want to see Obama dead. They want to see him suffer immeasurable pain, then what he does to himself is His business.

Personally, I want to see the Big Zero curled up, in the fetal position, on the front porch of the Half-White Outhouse, sucking his thumb and drooling Tapioca, with Joe Biden close by in a rocker humming bars to “If I only had a brain”. This scene wouldn’t be complete without Harry Reid wandering about in Barney Frank’s black bra and fishnet stockings, while David Axelrod dry humps Rahm Immanuel’s leg, who is being swatted by the Bad Witch, Nancy Pelosi, who is looking for her ruby slippers.

Of course the Congressional Black Caucus is in the background, belting out Judy Garland’s Over the Rainbow, while Steny Hoyer and Chris Dodd are dancing down the Yellow Brick Road calling for Ted Kennedy, the whining, cowardly Lion.

Call this exercise sick, kinky and outrageous, you know like our leadership today. Ladies and gentlemen, not unlike Elvis and The Lollipop Guild, common sense and patriotic duty have left the building and they are unlikely to return any time soon.

So wishing the president dead is an exercise in futility. Look at what’s next, Joe Biden!--then Nancy Pelosi! For Christ’s sake, there’s an insurance policy you will never see in the private sector. And all it’s cost us is our future. There are no saviors in the pile of Steaming Feces that is our U.S. Congress, not one.

No folks, what we have are two parties that have, since Franklin Roosevelt, systematically sold the soul and future of America to the lowest of denominators, political expediency. You see the goal of the Steaming Pile was never our peace, welfare and security, but theirs. And given the accepted policy of mutual political destruction that Washington subscribes to these days, there may be only one Wizard out there. But she isn‘t foolish enough to lift her Cammo skirt to reveal the Ruby Slippers.

Palin Punching

I have just about had it with the bashing of Sarah Palin. Here is a gal that thought she was doing a patriotic thing by helping John McCain run for President. Boy, was that a bad call. She no more than stepped off the chartered jet in Canton, Ohio and the Palin meat grinder went into action.

But it wasn’t bad enough that Liberals were in full bashing mode, the Conservatives had their own. Perhaps it was the sweat dripping fear that she was about to put some more Republicans in jail. This time in Washington D.C.. No fear. No reservations. No kidding. The Democrats haven’t cornered the market on graft, corruption and fraud. Not yet at least.

But since the election, the Palin hate mill has been put into overdrive. And not just by the Liberals. The elite Republican good-ole-boys club has no use for a slash and burn, reform minded, clean up the hill and drain the swamp political reformist. Remember, this is all about business as usual.

And the sweet irony is that the Republican begging-for-cash machine is all in high gear to profit from the Palin passionate Conservative base. When they call, every other word is “conservative” and stop the Liberals. And they fully embrace the words Sarah Palin.

And I can’t say enough about those that contend that Sarah isn’t qualified to be President. Like hey, she knows how many letters are in j-o-b-s and it ain’t three. She knows that Justice Stevens swore Joe Biden into office, not Justice Stewart. She knows that web sites are made up of words not numbers. And she knows that Roosevelt went on Radio, not television, after the Stock Market crash of 1929 to calm America. And the sweet irony is, is that if Sarah Palin had said all of these things, she would be featured on the nightly news, every night, leading the daily news. Nevermind the comedy shows and late night meat grinders hammering home her gaffes.

No folks, the double standard is alive and well in Washington, New York and Los Angeles. And no matter how you slice it, they don’t want to even think of President Sarah Palin. However, it doesn’t seem they mind President Joe Biden or President Nancy Pelosi. As leaders of the free world.

Woah Nellie!

Hold on Nellie
Ok, time for a reality check. El Presidente promised during the campaign that “there would be, no increase in ANY taxes for those making less than $250k per year”. What he didn’t tell us was he was lying through his teeth when he said it. Of course he didn’t tell us that he was going to surround himself with confessed criminals, pretentious bigots and avowed socialists either, not to mention also-rans from “Dancing with the Stars.

Because after hocking our great, great, great grandchildren’s future with the Porkulus Bill, hundreds of billions to bailout banks that got us here in the first place, many more billions to bailout the auto industry, then another $6.5 billion to shore up the UAW pension fund--but not another penny for any other pension fund-- then more billions to aid the auto industry with “Cash for Clunkers”, not to mention $700 million to shore up a bank in New Zealand. Jesus, can’t you spend enough here?

And now with Obamacare and “Knee-Cap and Tax” simmering on the front burner to knock the props from under the “Job Engine” of America (small business), the Lawn Jockey-in-Chief has told his overpaid minions to get out there and pitch the idea of tax increases to pay off the deficit. Whoa Nellie, did I hear all this right. Obama goes on a spending binge unparalleled in history, then decides that he needs TO PAY DOWN THE DEFICIT! No shit Sherlock.

Hey Barack, here’s an idea. Unwind all your obscene giveaway programs; get Government and the Taxman off Business’s back; tell malpractice attorneys that their ‘gravy train’ has left the tracks; bring on nuclear power; and drill as if your life depends upon it. And as Chief Law Enforcement Officer, you should arrest Barney Frank and Chris Dodd for treason; deny any more Botox and support bras for Nancy Pelosi--gravity will do the rest. And last but not least, inform Congress that the party is over. If you don’t get out your VETO pen and start using it soon, someone is going to do to your head what the Great Gallagher does to his watermelons.

Listen you insufferable stooge. Your curtain has been pulled back. You have been exposed for the aspiring socialist that you are. Get out while the getting is good, OR suffer the inevitable consequences

Arnold and Dredging

From a letter to the Editor of the Opinion Page at the local fish wrap questioning the recent signing of a new law in California banning gold dredging in Northern California streams:

Hey Bruce, I need a teachable moment. Please explain to me the logical thought process used by Schwarzenegger before he signed the recent law to ban suction dredging on California’s streams. But before you do, please allow me to interject some observations from the Dumbplumber.

Environmentalists, biologists and Indian tribes are all about the silt disturbed during mining operations, as being destructive to spawning beds and polluting clear streams. However, nobody seems to mind it when every winter storm runoff turns the streams into virtual mud pits for days or weeks at a time. What, do they think that trout take a Hawaii vacation during the winter and spring storms? And about those spawning beds, how does everyone think they were created in the first place?

Having grown up around live streams during my youth, I witnessed every sort of transformation of my fishing grounds, almost every year, but in late spring there were always fish to catch and eat. You see we didn’t torture our fish like they do today with “catch and release”. We ate what we caught.

Nevermind the ranting drivel from environmentalists, there is more silt introduced to Northern California streams in one hour of runoff during rainy season than in an entire year of dredging. Besides, if they were so concerned with spawning, why don’t they just put a moratorium on dredging during a few weeks of spawning season instead of shutting an entire hobby down until some overpaid, product of our education system makes an ass of himself producing a document bent toward the howling masses he is hired to console?

No Bruce, this isn’t about pollution. It isn’t about the health of stream fish or their offspring. It isn’t about maintaining a pristine streambed. It’s about control. Control of a hobby that has become a cottage industry to those with enough guts and fortitude to engage in a risky but rewarding economic venture. It’s about either shutting down this practice altogether or figuring out a way to wring out fines, fees, taxes or permit revenue to bolster an economy that is failing due to fines, fees, taxes and permit revenues. It’s government involving themselves in an industry party that they weren’t invited to. All in the name of safety, ecology and bureaucratic control.