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Saturday, July 21, 2007

Conservtion Conundrum

A few words about Conservation

Well the big conservation move is on. Drive your Toyota less, your Hummer not at all. Carpool with your friends, make your enemies take the bus. Save a tree, cut your T-P use in half. Turn down the thermostat on your Olympic Pool and buy those Carbon Credits when you are jetting to your next Stones concert. And… oh yeah, don’t forget to replace those nasty incandescent bulbs with those new, you can’t look at them, they make things a different color, they won’t light in cold weather, florescent ones.

A recent radio ad touts that if every Californian changed just 5 bulbs in their house, it would be like taking 400,000 cars off the road. Now that’s just silly. There aren’t 400,000 electric cars on the road. A false analogy?

Now there isn’t necessarily anything bad about conserving electricity, because it takes some of the strain off the grid during peak consumption hours. It also takes some of the pain out of paying $3.50 for a gallon of gas, when you are pulling down $45k a year on a job 30 miles away and putting out $1,200 a month for rent or house payments, while raising 3 kids that haven’t developed a sense of money, much less than a budget.

But for sake of this conversation, let’s just say we figured out some way to cut our consumption by 50%. Sounds good huh? Oh, it’s good alright, but not for you. PG&E would be doing the happy dance if you could do that. Here is why.

PG&E, not unlike other utilities are GURANTEED a certain return on their investment, come hell or high water. So if ALL you little greenies figure out how to cut your consumption by 50%, get ready for a 40 or 50 percent hike in your rates. Don’t believe me, check it out. Then to add injury to injury, when the consumption goes back up, when you figured out that those cute, curly little bulbs causes cataracts, cancer or lumbago, the rates most certainly will not go down, because now there will be another shortage which allows them to charge higher rates for “over baseline” usage.

If your sphincter is beginning to twitch, join the rest of us who have figured out that radical conservation is not always for the good

Hating America

America is going to Hell. Or so says a loud choir of rabid Liberals, red necked Conservatives and the majority of America that lives in the middle. No argument here. But before we get our knickers in a knot, let’s review.

The Europeans all claim to hate us, but I would remind them that there were only 6 countries allied with the U.S. in WWII. And France, Italy, Belgium, Spain, Poland nor Holland were among them. So while they gnash their teeth and spew their angst about America, they would do well to remember they’re not complaining in the language of Der Fuehrer.

Yes America is contemptible. We are fat, lazy, self centered, complacent, smug and self righteous….in many religions. Our political leaders are a bunch of pompous gasbags far more concerned with re-election and appeasing contributors than honoring the wishes of the Founding Fathers.

Too many of our homes flying the American Flag have Toyotas, Mazdas and KIAs in the garages, clothes from Pakistan, India and Guatemala in the closets, while the rest of the house if filled with products from China, Korea, Indonesia and the aforementioned France. But we always pray that Gob blesses America?

Well here is a New Flash for the whining masses that are condemning the land that I love: The consequences of importing 60% of our oil is easily eclipsed by the possibility of China, Southeast Asia, India and Pakistan suspending shipments of essential manufactured goods or Militant Islam abandoning Iraq to bring their vision of heaven to our shores.

When I can buy a Silverado in Shanghi, an F150 in France, or a Dodge in DaNang, you can get back to me about globalization and peace on earth. Until then I don’t want to hear from some globe trotting eco-Nazi about the starving in Darfur or the disenfranchised in da Hood. Because every effort to relieve the suffering blossoms into an International giveaway, benefiting the least deserving, at the expense of best intentions.

Friday, July 06, 2007

Dumbplumber VS Greenberg

Local columnist, Doni Greenberg, continued to loosen her grip on reality with a column dedicated to the idiocy of War. The Dumbplumber again had to reel in the life ropes for fear of her tripping over one and injuring herself.

Dear Editor,
Not since Doni’s documented encounter with the local Rotary Club has she presented such a ‘target rich environment’ for criticism. Her, “…war gets us nowhere” column has to be a blueprint of just how out of touch, Ms. Greenberg is in her war with reality.

Doni claims that War is among other things, “stupid…reckless…impulsive…and lacks imagination”. And in a theological moment, proclaims that God is against it. As if God has intervened in any other apocalyptical event so far, in recorded history. She tries to equate Wars as what Henry Ford’s Quadricycle is to vehicles.

Ok, I would add to that, War is inevitable, necessary, declarative and final. Wars do not just begin, they develop from differing opinions, turf struggles, land grabs, tribal dominance, wealth acquisition, and God complexes. Wars happen when disputes have not bent to negotiation, capitulation, or the …‘conjuring of intelligent solutions’. War is the ultimate solution to an otherwise unsolvable problem or militant aggression.

But like it or not, War has gotten us to where we are today. Just consider where we would be if we had NOT engaged in War, just since 1776. We would still be speaking the King’s English, French, Japanese, German or Spanish, we would probably still be contained within the original 13 colonies, would still have slavery, Suffrage and taxation without representation.

I would add that 21st Century Wars, while still a huge waste of money and resources, have considerably lower body counts. So low, in fact, that preventable domestic deaths from tobacco, AIDS and obesity dwarfs any body counts from Iraq or Afghanistan, or the 20th Century Vietnam War. So, Ms. Greenberg’s time would be better spent focused on these deaths that don’t require the attention of God or a War to solve.

Yes, Ms. Greenberg, War is Hell. But if War were a Quadricycle, your solution would look more like a ‘79 Yugo, with an air cooled rear engine, four Firestone 500 tires and a Pinto gas tank.