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Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Texas Hold 'em Congress Fold'em

So, Congressional Democrats think they are going to shut down the War by cutting off funding. Reid and Pelosi are about to get a reality check…don’t try a bluff with a poker player from Texas.
The Administration’s first “call” was a notice that civilian Pentagon employees will start facing layoffs in December. I suspect the next bet is, we will begin hearing about base closures and personnel consolidation within the U.S. and overseas. I can’t wait for the howls of protest when the military begins to close bases in countries, that are only allies because they thrive on the largess of the U.S.

The United States maintains over 737 military installations around the globe. When we begin shutting down those bases, hundreds of billions of dollars will cease to flow into the surrounding economies, crippling restaurants, retailers and service providers, not to mention massage and tattoo parlors. We’re talking revenues that rival the GPD of the many countries we occupy. Now let’s see who’s the bad guys.

Mr. Reid and Mrs. Pelosi have called the President into the center of town at high noon for the big showdown. Bush may not own this town, but he is the Commander in Chief of those that protect it. So, in a move of colossal miscalculation Congressional leaders are about to go “all in” against a guy holding all the chips.

The Frosty Poll

The polls say, 70% of Americans want us out of Iraq. The polls say, only 32% of Americans approve of Bush, while only 11% approve of Congress. The polls say, 49% of Americans wouldn’t vote for Hillary under any circumstances. The polls, the polls, the polls. But there are a few things the polls haven’t told you.

For instance, I took a poll at the local Frosty, 30 some odd stalwart citizens, munching down on food, banned in many cities as full of trans fats, exorbitant calories and flavors only described as heavenly. But I digress.

From this modest poll, I have determined that 98% of America feels that Congress is a group of insufferable gas bags, incapable of accommodating anyone other than themselves and those that help them get elected. The poll also reveals that 98% of Americans are sick and tired of dirtballs sucking the life out of America by abusing and defrauding the entitlement systems.

It could not be ignored that the recent Congressional approval of 11% was most probably optimistic and considerably under the 16% approval of O.J. Simpson just before the jury returned at his murder trial.

99.9% of my little poll approved of capturing or killing Islamic extremists, who have vowed to kill everyone not Muslim, while the same percentage disapproved of those who claimed to support the effort, but larded the defense spending bills with domestic pork. The same number believe that torture should never be taken off the table as an interrogation technique and that Ted Kennedy is the last person qualified to argue about the application of water torture.
Strangely, the group was split 50-50 on whether Hillary would win the primary against Edwards and Obama or just have their bodies dumped on a park bench with guns in hand and the appropriate suicide notes attached to their lapels.

There was one issue that 100% agreed upon. If Huckabee, Thompson or Kucinich were not elected, it would be business as usual in D.C., until we whirlpool down the drain.

Uncle Teddy's Tell All?

So, Uncle Teddy Kennedy is penning his memoirs. You would think that for a heavy 7 figure advance, Ted would recount his Irwin Allen moment with Mary Jo Kopechne. Teddy saw his Scotch glass as half empty, we saw his Oldsmobile as quite full.

A short list of titles:

My Yellow Oldsmarine

Tilting at Windmills in Hyannis

Always the Senator, Never a President

Do as I say, Not as I do.

and my personal favorite,

Swimming off into the Sunset