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Monday, February 23, 2009

Does Anyone Do The Math??

Does anyone but me ever “Do the Math”? I mean numbers are showered on us every day, but does anybody ever really look at them?

For instance, AP just released a story that says, “5 million are on unemployment”. Okay, well there is supposedly 7% unemployment, nationally, right now. So, if 5 million are on unemployment, we have about 93 million employed. But what of the remaining 207 million?

Well, we have a few million self employed people, millions more of the elderly and infirmed, 40 or 50 million children, tens of millions on public payrolls (not producing anything), tens of thousands of executives on salaries, and of course we must not forget the 12 million illegal aliens.

Of the 300 million inhabitants of our country, the only ones the State and Federal governments have any influence over are the 93 million they take money from every month, in payroll taxes, the few million self-employed, they pummel with draconian rules, regulations and quarterly estimates, along with a few thousand executives that are sucking the life out of our economy‘s stockholders. The rest live at the expense of the few.

So the next time you see our politicians pontificating at the podium, all you need to know is that they are talking to the approximately 1/3rd of America that makes this engine work. The rest are receiving the fruits provided from the 93 million of us schmucks still in harness.

And one number that you will never hear from the AP are the number of slackers and gamers that have avoided being productive Americans by signing up for benefits under SSI (Supplemental Security Income) by “manufacturing” permanent disabilities. Such disabilities may be: soft tissue injuries that apparently allow them all functions, but the one they were performing when injured, a permanent disability due to alcohol and drug dependencies--they have no intention of ending-- and tattoos which apparently leaves them ineligible for employment. And my favorite, bi-polar disorder, which allows you to only the ability to cash your benefit check.

No America, unemployment is only relevant when you factor in the unemployable, who have no intention of contributing.

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Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Obama..First 21 Days

A Message from our Leader

“We won. I’m boss. Get along or get over it.”

Hey, that must be some of that Hope and Change stuff. The new Felon-in- Chief “Hopes” that we don’t notice the “Change” that’s comin‘.

First he nominates a whole string of tax cheats, scofflaws and felons-in-training for Cabinet and Advisory positions. Then he immediately goes to work on Policy. Close Gitmo. Contain Hillary. Repeal everything Bush. Stroke Acmadinnerjacketandajob. Hijack the U.S. Census. Submit the biggest Spending Bill in history, then call everyone that questions it a traitor. And that’s just in the first three weeks!

Of course this will pay off most of his Mob connection debts, give the requisite boost to Unionizing America(another Mob debt), galvanize the entitlement addicted masses, superfund ACORN with enough beer and cigarette money to flood polling booths with “manufactured” Democrat voters beyond the next millennia and strike such fear in opponents as to make them vote for every harebrained, self destructive, giveaway program that comes down the pike.

The Man is a virtual Fear Mongering Machine. He has turned Free Speech on its head, demonizing dissent, quashing resistance, steamrolling opposition, demolishing disobedience. You know, The Chicago Way.

America, I believed on November 4th that we would not last beyond December 2012, or the end of the Mayan Calendar. Today, I do not believe we will last beyond July 4, 2009. An ignorant electorate has caste the First Community Organizer as The Rainmaker, a job he would never have gotten with an honest audition.

What I learned today 2-10-09

I’m Paying for My Grandparent’s Spending

I Keep hearing that Congress is about to spend my grandchildren’s money. Well, that’s only part right. First, I don’t think I will have any grandchildren. That’s if all my girlfriend’s weren’t lying to me. Second, I’m still paying for WWII, since we have never paid off the debt from Roosevelt, after the Japs thought taking on the U.S. was a good idea. So maybe bringing anyone’s grandchildren into this equation isn’t probably the best analogy.

Casey Anthony submits Statement

Casey Anthony’s attorney released a statement today from the Totmom about the pending memorial for the daughter she murdered. Standing next to a busy thoroughfare, with horns honking, he read the message as follows: “Yo doods, i thnk mi ded baby is in hevn wit god. 4 all doz who r worid abt mi needz I h8 2 ask bt dump a buc or 2 in mi kommisary aknt so I cn lk good 4 kort.”

Apparently, grandparents George and Cindy Anthony chose not to bury this family nightmare, but rather had grand daughter Caylee cremated. In honor of mother Casey’s lifestyle prior to Caylee’s death, they are selling dime bags of Caylee to finance Casey‘s defense.

El Presidente moves His Lips

True to form, tonight’s “Do it or die” gas-a-thon to the nation’s Press Corp is not going well. After his brilliantly scripted opening statement, he is now making George Bush look like “Honest Abe” at the Gettysburg Address. Once off-script, poor Barry sounds more like Goober Pyle at the drive-in with Carmen Electra on Spanish Fly. The poor guy looks and sounds a lot like the guy standing in the plugged up septic tank, when he hears a flushing noise. Please, someone throw this guy a life ring, he’s sinking fast

What I learned today 2-9-09

The Sunday Pig Sale

Well, it’s Sunday so it must be ”Please buy this Pig Day”. The guy that now calls 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. home, spent the week hatching a whole litter of piglets and now he sends out his hatchet men to sell the lot to America on the Sunday Yapping Heads shows.

Chris Wallace, Bob Schieffer, George Stephanopoulos, and David Gregory won’t need ear plugs for this Sunday’s assault by Obama’s henchmen, they will need Tampons duct taped to their heads, to staunch the blood flowing from their ears. The “um’s”, “err’s” and “uh’s” will be deafening. Face it, it’s the only thing they can do, when they don’t have a clue about what they’re selling.

Obama Inflation

Seems that Obama has his own inflation problems. His campaign promises have taken on a bulge of their own. Closing Gitmo….. now “maybe” in a year. Withdrawing from Iraq in 16 months has now ballooned to 23. George’s $350 billion Bank Bailout has now been dwarfed by Obama’s $800 plus billion cash cow, with no end in sight.

Yes, the Community Organizer-in-Chief has discovered that herding around ALL of America is a lot harder than milking D.C. for some rehab money for South Chicago.

Fast Passage, Slow Recovery

Looks like the full-court-press is on for passage of the $800 billion dollar bailout package. But I wish they would make up their minds about speed and recovery. As stated, it is essential that we pass this pig-in-a-poke before everyone realizes what is in it, but at the same time, they claim it may take years to turn the economy around. What is it to be, speed or efficiency?

“O” is for Oligarchy

Well folks, it’s official. Never before has an elected representative admitted this on TV, “America is no longer a Democracy“, adultery, theft, graft, corruption and pedophilia, YES, participating in an Oligarchy, NO.

In fact, for your information, we have never been a Democracy. For those of you that missed 8th grade Social Studies, we’ve always been a Representative Republic. A Democracy is how we elect our Representatives, not how we govern. In 1787 some really smart guys drafted our U.S. Constitution, what would become the finest governing document ever. And they made it that way on purpose. However, since then, politicians have been working hard to shred it.

The November ‘08 election ushered in a candidate who pulled NO punches about what he was about. He told us, in no uncertain terms, that he was the agent of Hope and Change. And he wasn’t lying. He was an avowed, unapologetic Socialist mingling with Communists and Terrorists and funding his client base, of mostly entitlement junkies, on the backs of hard working taxpayers. And if that didn’t give you a hint of the coming “Change“, I sincerely “Hope” you’ll seek psychiatric help, soon.

He was known as “The One” and he was all things to all people. He made promises, vows and guarantees like no politician had ever made before. And they weren’t worth the tobacco breath that uttered them. But the ignorant masses made their choice

No, what we got here folks is an Oligarchy: “When a small group of individuals wields a large portion of power and dictates the lives of the majority, it is called an ‘oligarchy‘.” (Wikipedia)

Thought you would like some Wikipedia to blow the wax out of your ears.

Hey folks, Obama is a product of Optimism, Oprah and Outright ignorance. He is single handedly destroying what’s left of our Union. Liberals, you fell for him, you voted for him, you got him, now you have to live with him.

Saturday, February 07, 2009

What I learned 2-3-09

Economists tell White House No to Bailout

Hundreds of U.S. economists are sending a letter to the White House: “Your Economic Stimulus Package isn’t going to work“.

I agree, but Obama didn’t listen to 30,000 scientists, climatologists and botanists, so why should he listen to a few hundred whining economists? Besides, he is busy listening to Unions, fellow trough wallowing Democrats and 4 of ten voters, who exist on the backs of the remaining 6.

Obama’s Hourglass Conundrum

Everyday that Barack Obama doesn’t get his “Stimulus Bill”, he is one day further away from the Bush administration and one day closer to a normal recovery. Or to put it another way, it is one more day AWAY from it being Bush’s fault and one day closer to NOT being Obama’s victory.

Italy loses Target Shooting Record

Once was that Italy had the worst sharp shooters in the world. The Italian shootouts are legendary, with thousands of rounds spent an not one drop of blood.

Well, Washington D.C. has taken that record away. Let’s see: with one of the highest homicide rates in the world, not one Senator or Congressman has been hit. But not to worry, they’re still shooting. Keep it up assassins, maybe you’ll get lucky with a ricochet. Practice, practice, practice.

What I learned today 2-6-09

The IRS Gold Mine

If there is to be some serious coin collected by the IRS, they might start by looking at Washington, D.C.. Seems that almost every ladder climbing politician has an issue with the IRS. So far they have collected over $200k from just 3 Obama picks for Cabinet and other high level positions. In fact, the IRS might get a copy of Barack’s Rolodex and do some mining. It’s a target rich environment.

Obama: It’s Now or Never

Barack’s recent remarks on the urgency of passing the biggest boondoggle in history, sounds more like a “hard close”, on a ‘79 Yugo, at Honest Louie’s Used Cars than any responsible legislation. Instead of actually reading the Stimulus Package, Obama is choosing to trade in his pinstripes for a neon suit, a bouffant hairdo, white belt and shoes and add another octave or two to his strident warnings that America will “Never Recover” if we don’t pass this Bill instantly.

And just like the High Fives back in Louie’s office after, “closing” on the Yugo, Barack will be passing out the cash to his henchmen, as reward for sticking the Suckers with the sorriest Pig in history.

Octuplet Mom Meets the Press
Octuplet mom, Sadya Suleman met with NBC news and mumbled her way through a lame explanation as to why she would want to clean puke, change diapers and wet nurse eight squalling nipple tuggers, 24/7 for the next few years. Suleman, questioned about the stress of housing eight humans for almost eight months in her womb says, “them little buggers stretched that puppy out so, you could park a Peterbuilt in there. She is thinking about renting it out for RV storage now, to help pay for the chillins

Monday, February 02, 2009

Red Ass for RNC

Dumbplumber's response to more begging for money from the RNC:


Mr. Robert “Mike” Duncan- Chairman
Republican National Committee
310 First St., S.E.
Washington, D.C.

Dear Mr. Duncan,

I am in receipt of your latest solicitation for more of my hard earned money. Unfortunately, you started your letter as having concern for my receiving the RNC Sustaining Membership Card. Jesus Mike, you don’t give a damn whether or not I received that worthless card. Hell yes I received it. And I did what most Republicans did with it, filed it where it belongs, along with the last three or four of its brothers. You’re really pissing away some serious change on postage, Mike.

Just exactly what did you plan on me doing with this card anyway? Discount at Costco? Get me a 50 yard line seat at the Superbowl? Scrape the scum off my bathtub? Mix up a batch of body filler? First dibs with Fi Fi Laflur at the next Lodge meeting? I mean really.

Hey Mike, here’s a news flash for you. You and your brethren set there on your hands with your mouths zipped while G.W. promoted that abomination of an Immigration Plan and the first Bank Bailout. The first went into the ground after Republicans carpet bombed D.C. phones, while the second merrily put me in debt far more than I would ever have sent you, in the BEST of times.

Yes, members like me have kept you guys in limos, doughnuts, Four Star hotel rooms and 3 star hookers for years. Well, with Michael Steele at the helm, I sincerely hope that most of your perks and membership hit the road. At least Obama promised Hope and Change. You’re not even doing that. It’s just more of the same, hoping for a different outcome. (Think insanity)

Let me tell you something Mike, the future of the Republican Party is in the likes of Bobby Jindal, Sarah Palin and other young Conservatives that have substance and principles rather than just an “R” next to their names. It is in leaders that will put politicians in jail for malfeasance, corruption and fraud from BOTH parties, who's approval ratings will go through the roof, with those that voted to put them in office.

Hey Mike, it’s time to pull your head out of your posterior and take a look around. The Libs are in control and all you guys can do is sit on the sidelines, hat in hand, begging for money. You want my money Mike, kick some Republican ass, then get back to me.



How the Dumbplumber Sees It.

The Economic Stimulus Package…First, I never benefited from this boondoggle. Second, I didn’t do anything to cause it. And third, I won’t receive any “Stimulus”, that I’m paying for, to cure it.

Abortion. Abortion! What about abortion? I’m a man, I don’t need an abortion. But I will tell you this. What a woman wants to do with her body is her business. When she wants me to pay for it, it’s my business.

Health Care… Want to cut government health care costs by 30%? Make every citizen eligible for public health insurance, stop smoking, drink in moderation, eat balanced meals get, regular exercise. Want to cut it by 60%? Take away the lawyers Put a $250k cap on malpractice awards.

Welfare….Stop public assistance to individuals at either existing family members or no more than 1 additional child after enrollment. Drug tests to qualify all recipients. Suspension for any drug or alcohol convictions.

War on Drugs…..Drug tests for all receiving government income. Employees, govt. contractors or their employees, welfare, food stamp or college assistance. Everybody. The added benefit would be to essentially stop the murders by Drug Lords in Mexico, Central and South America.

War on Fraud, White Collar Crime, Government Corruption….Every scofflaw serves a minimum of 5 years in a High Security Federal facility, with murderers, rapists and arsonists, while wearing a pink jumpsuit. Additionally, they are stripped of all their assets, including those acquired by spouse while married to offender.

Tax Dodgers (including offshore havens)…Put a 20% tax free bounty on offenders, paid to informants upon verification of assets (not conviction). If the Prosecutors can’t get a conviction, get better Prosecutors. Advise offshore bankers that America will cease visitation rights to any country that does not capitulate with banking information.

There, that should hold you for awhile.

Snap Crackle Kennedy

I don’t know when the light bulb came on, but it was somewhere between gangsters and modern day tax cheats. The missing link was “where” did they park their tens or hundreds of millions. It sure as hell wasn’t a coffee can in the back yard or with their cousin Vinnie. Nor was it a passbook account at 2% interest, reporting to the IRS, with a FDIC guarantee to $100,000. No we’re talking about accounts of tens to hundreds of millions of dollars, with maybe as much as 5 to 12 trillion dollars sitting offshore.

You don’t need to tell me they are invested in the Market, Mutual Funds or Bernie Madoff. Oh maybe a few mil, but not the big bucks. Remember, they have to show a few bucks to the tax man, while losing a few million to Madoff is a great write off for The Barbara Streisand or The Britney.

So where does Spielberg, Madonna, Tom Cruise, John Travolta, the Wall Street tycoons and guys like Michael Bloomberg stash their obscene cash, while trying to sway public opinion, form political alliances and foment hatred for Conservatives and hard working Rednecks. Hell Bubba, that’s easy…..Off Shore Holdings.

Why do you think Caroline Kennedy bowed out of the New York Senators seat? Her housekeeper’s payroll taxes, her children’s illegal alien Nanny, her Brain Dead Uncle? Hell No. It was her offshore un-taxable trusts, her living in a building owned by one of her offshore partnerships, her paying her bills and living off of a diamond encrusted, platinum plated credit card on a Cayman Bank. In fact, if you took away all her Offshore resources, she would be a New Jersey bag lady.

And quite frankly, with one Kennedy Offshore Trust Baby in the Senate, America didn’t need another one squandering our hard earned money, telling us to do more with less, buying votes with entitlements and leading us into oblivion, while jetting around the world in opulence, with Limousine Liberals. Miraculously we didn’t get one.

Fortunately, the Blind Govna from New York even saw what was coming.
You go David Paterson. But hey, I could be wrong. The Dumbplumber