Energy Economics

It is in the twilight hours of the night that the Dumbplumber lets his dreams sort out issues that boggle the conscious mind. It was during one of these moments that he came upon the principles of Energy Economics.

Energy Economics defy typical theories on how market forces control the costs of any given commodity. The dirty little secret is to maintain the high demand while controlling a limited supply. ‘Big Oil’ benefits from limited refining capacity, as they can double profits and retain capped reserves, while blaming market forces and eco-Nazis for limited supply.

For instance, if a hurricane is threatening the east coast of Kansas and the price of plywood suddenly goes to $100 a sheet, profiteers are prosecuted for plundering the catastrophe. Or if a volcano were to erupt in South Carolina, causing a mass exodus to Wisconsin, gas station owners, who suddenly raise fuel to $50 dollars a gallon would most certainly be jailed as well, but not in Energy Economics

The Petroleum Industry, sitting on the last 100 years of energy reserves, has concocted an entirely different scenario. A scheme only Maxwell Smart or Elmore Leonard could appreciate. They place their ‘controlled’ commodity on the world market to the highest bidder, then capitalize on natural and unnatural disasters to inflate cost of supply. You know, something like six shills sitting at a poker table, plucking the seventh clean of his hard earned stake.

Then while entire economies are brought to their knees on the fears of energy brokers bidding up ‘the barrel’ like Amarillo Slim slyly bids up a pair of twos against a full house, Big Energy decries the system on the front page, while reporting record profits on the financial page. This is not unlike hotels holding up customers to a minimum of a three day stay during a special event, when you only need the room for two nights, then blaming the cost of the supply on demand.

Applying these new found principles in a wee hours dream, the Dumbplumber envisioned himself a newly homeless nomad, having lost everything to Big Energy. He is trekking across the deserts of Nevada and comes across an overturned armored car spilling cash and bodies around the site. Buzzards are stalking the lone survivor of the horrible crash, who just happens to be the well known heir to an oil empire, and owner of a major resort hotel/casino where he further plunders the masses.

The heir is mortally injured, in excruciating pain and haunted by the looming vultures fighting over his pre-death morsels. Spying the approaching Dumbplumber, he begs to be put out of his misery with a single bullet. “I will pay you to put an end to this. How much for a bullet?”, he says.

“Well my much suffering friend you are in luck, the bullets are $10,000 each“, I say. The good news is I have thirteen clips left“, I add. “What’s the bad news?“, moans the dying tycoon. “The bad news is, I only sell clips by the dozen.”

Immigration Fed Up

The Dumbplumber has just about had it with the 24hr carpet bombing on the immigration debate. For purposes of this conversation, I am referring to Hispanic or Latino immigrants, so as not to confuse anyone with the persistent problem of the French or Swiss sneaking into the U.S..
First we must segregate the ‘legal’ immigrants and documented workers here that are playing by the rules. For the most part, the ‘guest’ workers are the foundation of the agriculture industry and most tend to send money back home while working here, then return to Mexico in the off season. If this practice is in any way disturbed, the produce section of your local market will require a ‘rope line’, a security guard and a gold card to enter.

No, what we are talking about are ‘illegal immigrants’ coming across the border ‘illegally’, looking for a better life, at the expense of American taxpayers, who foot the bill for education, health care and incarceration--when the system actually works. So, the 15 billion per year collected in payroll taxes has little impact on the 30 to 40 billion drain on States, supporting their presence. On the other hand, many aliens convicted of felonies and are incarcerated in the Federal System, find the living conditions and 30 cents per hour paid inmates for working, better than they had at home in Guatemala, El Salvador or Honduras, where they were often target practice, for the current regime de jour.

It is a given that many employers in America--mostly in agriculture industry-- would fold were it not for migrant workers, as crops already threatened by imported produce and high U.S. energy costs would soon price themselves out of the market. Unfortunately, the environmental protections imposed on America’s farmers are abandon on imported goods, in the name of free trade.

And in a masterful stroke of international diplomacy, Mexico does what no other country on the planet does, they manipulate the guest worker program ‘into’ the U.S.. Now I don’t want to cast aspersions on a country as ethically challenged as Mexico, but letting the Mexican bureaucracy expedite your guest worker papers is a little like building a bridge in New Jersey without first making a visit to Tony Soprano.

Sista ReSista

Congresswoman Sista Resista, Cynthia Mc Kinney is on a rampage because she assaulted a Capitol Security guard doing his job. Failing to produce her security clearance, official badging or Congressional Hall Pass, Sista Resista, fell back on her prejudicial roots and is professing her innocence based upon racial profiling, political insensitivies and a developing rage over a really bad hair-do.

Cindy having whacked the guard, when he insisted on some sort of I.D., before letting her enter the Capitol Building, speed dialed America Bashing, Harry Belafonte and Danny Glover to provide cameos during her motor mouth moment. Never mind that she is suffering from self indulgent importance, Ms. Mc Kinney is wallowing in righteous indignation for ignoring the rules of entering the House of Representatives.

If anyone needs a defense, it is the morons that voted her into office and the no talent, crank addicted hack that did her hair. She has about as much a right to circumvent the metal detector, as Ted Kennedy does a breathalyzer.