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Tuesday, November 27, 2007

The Frosty Poll

The polls say, 70% of Americans want us out of Iraq. The polls say, only 32% of Americans approve of Bush, while only 11% approve of Congress. The polls say, 49% of Americans wouldn’t vote for Hillary under any circumstances. The polls, the polls, the polls. But there are a few things the polls haven’t told you.

For instance, I took a poll at the local Frosty, 30 some odd stalwart citizens, munching down on food, banned in many cities as full of trans fats, exorbitant calories and flavors only described as heavenly. But I digress.

From this modest poll, I have determined that 98% of America feels that Congress is a group of insufferable gas bags, incapable of accommodating anyone other than themselves and those that help them get elected. The poll also reveals that 98% of Americans are sick and tired of dirtballs sucking the life out of America by abusing and defrauding the entitlement systems.

It could not be ignored that the recent Congressional approval of 11% was most probably optimistic and considerably under the 16% approval of O.J. Simpson just before the jury returned at his murder trial.

99.9% of my little poll approved of capturing or killing Islamic extremists, who have vowed to kill everyone not Muslim, while the same percentage disapproved of those who claimed to support the effort, but larded the defense spending bills with domestic pork. The same number believe that torture should never be taken off the table as an interrogation technique and that Ted Kennedy is the last person qualified to argue about the application of water torture.
Strangely, the group was split 50-50 on whether Hillary would win the primary against Edwards and Obama or just have their bodies dumped on a park bench with guns in hand and the appropriate suicide notes attached to their lapels.

There was one issue that 100% agreed upon. If Huckabee, Thompson or Kucinich were not elected, it would be business as usual in D.C., until we whirlpool down the drain.

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