Monday, March 09, 2015
Dumbplumber’s War on GOP Candidates
I've came, I’ve seen, I’ve dismissed. So far I have delisted most of the GOP field for president. It goes something like this:
Sarah Palin: Out, she’s too busy spending the money I sent her, on Jet A fuel to appear with Alec Baldwin on Saturday Nite Live.
Jeb Bush: Hey, he’s a Bush, strikes one, two and three.
Chris Christie: He needs to lose another hundred pounds and his asshole attitude. He'd make a far better Democrat candidate than Republican.
Rick Santorum: He will be president right after my cat becomes queen of the world.
Tom Tancredo: Good man, but one mission, illegal aliens.
Rand Paul: Good senator with a nutball father. Wants to appease illegal aliens. Goodbye.
Marco Rubio: Did I mention amnesty for illegal aliens?
Ben Carson: If he had James Earl Jones voice, he would already be president. I don’t like lectures from monotone candidates.
Mike Hucka……: Hey Goober, take your biscuits and gravy back to Arkansas.
Scott Walker: Scott Walker, good man who got his ethanol mixed up with his politics.
Ted Cruz: I really don’t have a bad thing to say about Ted, but wait until next week.
Rick Perry: Hey Rick, this is the big one. Stop practicing your opening act.