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Monday, May 10, 2010

What About Us White Guys?

Well now, we can’t profile Blacks, Hispanics or Muslims because that might violate their Constitutional rights. So what about us taxpaying white guys? I mean we are pulled over every day for such heinous crimes as cracked windshields, trailer ball obscuring license plates or “wear bars” showing on our tires. Then the inquiring officer asks us for driver’s license, insurance card and AARP membership certificate. Now that’s profiling.

So where’s our Rights?

Meanwhile, our officer is writing us up for our infractions, while a carload of San Jose gang bangers, in an $80k BMW, zooms by, with totally blacked out windows and marijuana wafting out of the windows. And the other way goes a plain wrapper Dodge van driven by a gentleman in classic Muslim suicide bomber garb talking on his cell phone, to Allah knows who.
But does our Barney give them so much as a glance? No. No. and Hell no. He can’t, that would be profiling. Meanwhile, he discovers a small crack in one of my backup lights.

In the midst of writing me up for my growing list of infractions, four African American males, between 18 and 35, have a flat tire, pulls over and parks not 50 yards in front of us. But they remain in the car, talking with agitated hand signals. Nevermind that none of them have shoulder belts, have an expired registration, two broken tail lights and four bald tires, Andy of Mayberry is unmoved and continues to write my ticket. I’m feeling better about this profiling thing every minute.

Then, just when I thought this whole thing was over, there drives by a big rig, driven by another fat white guy, and low and behold, Ranger Rick’s head rotates like Linda Blair avoiding Communion. Hastily ripping the ticket from his book, he tosses it at me, saying, “did you see that?” “The font size of his DOT Permit number looks a little small to me, gotta go”.

Whew, and I thought he might spot my busted license plate light. Good that I don’t drive at night. Dumbplumber

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