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Sunday, September 18, 2005

Newdow's World

Ok, so we don’t have to say the Pledge of Allegiance, or the ‘under god’part anyway, in our public schools. This clearly is a movement to remove all references to a higher being from any and all public and public funded places. But why stop there? The movement will ultimately include money, literature, history and any other offending particle in, on or around the public.

Next, we might remove all references to God from Government buildings, but we will still have to pass through metal detectors at airports, schools and Courthouses, or be barred entrance.

When we remove ‘In God we Trust’ from our currency, so we may pay our bills with currency labeled “in diversity we trust“, “in consensus we trust”, “in Michael Newdow we trust”, or more likely, “we don’t trust anybody”.

We will be forced to purge all references to God in the Constitution,Bill of Rights and Declaration of Independence, while swearing to tell the truth, at trial, by placing our hands on a stack of Martha Stewart recipes.

The blueprint for leading a productive and positive life, the TenCommandments, will be erased from all public places and replaced with the ‘Miranda Rights‘, in chiseled granite.

There will be no more crusades, sermons, or the singing of the Star Spangled Banner within public funded stadiums. Instead the forums will host sensitivity classes, bio-diversity seminars, Love-in’s and concerts performed by remnants of old Rock and Roll groups.

We will no longer be allowed to say “Holy f*cking God” or Jesus H. f*cking Christ”, while witnessing explosions of the Space Shuttle or rockets. Instead, the official explicative will be, “Hot Damn”, “Bubba, did you see that?” and “Cooter, get me a beer”.

While we are at it, we must then remove all reference to Satan, theDevil, Hell and any other anti-God, anti-Christ reference, from public places. For instance, no more Deviled Egg sandwiches in government parks or Devil Ray sports teams. Clearly we will have to rename Hell’s Kitchen, Devils Canyon and Devil’s Tower.

The removal of all references of God and anti-God will take years and leave history, historical sites, and literature unrecognizable. Fortunately, there will be absolutely NO impact on NPR and PBS

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