What Can Brown Do For You?

What can Brown do for you?
UPS has paid ’through the nose’ for some ad agency to tell us what many of us already know. Brown knows things. Fortunately ‘Brown’ happens to be a very common name, which is attached to some very uncommon people, of which one is a friend of mine.

There are many things this particular Brown can do for you. One is to point out when you have completely screwed up. This will most likely come with the octaves of a fog horn, to a crowd of your peers. It is not so much an effort to humiliate you but an attempt to change your behavior. Well ok, it is an attempt to humiliate you. Dummy.

Brown will be among the first to announce the shortcomings of our elected, appointed and salaried public officials. The level of inefficiency, incompetence and insensitivity by these individuals is routine fodder for his grist. Just one boneheaded stunt by any of these public servants will unleash a tirade of honorable mention.

Woe be the lowly tax official, who attempts to exert authority they do not have, when speaking to Brown. Best they deal with Brown’s tax man, rather than face the wrath of Brown, who has little patience with half-baked bureaucrats with a power complex.

Brown will point out that your Indonesian, Indian, or Chinese customer service representatives cannot be understood on the phone. You may consider this a good thing, since no one else can understand them either.

If you produce movies or television programs, which have political, racial or homosexual themed plots, you might face ‘the Brown effect‘, which will be a high pitched tirade, most likely in public, that will hopefully remind you and your viewers that movies are for entertainment, not pushing an agenda.

I have known Brown for almost 20 years and aside from his refreshing and outspoken judgments of social blunders, he is the last person you want pointing out your shortcomings and the first person you can count on, when the chips are down.