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Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Hey Fatso!

So, while we’re all busy NOT paying attention to the shenanigans going on in Washington, D.C., we are being bombarded with “shiny things” to look at. The latest “shiny thing” that we are being distracted with is, AMERICA IS TOO FAT.

Well, guess what bucko, I’m fat and you’re stupid. Tomorrow I’ll go on a diet and you’ll still be stupid.

There is no secret that America spends over $2 trillion a year on healthcare. But what nobody is talking about is WHY we are spending that much. Apparently Twinkies, BBQ and RC Cola are big on Obama’s list of culprits draining America of precious resources. But let’s review.

Medicare fraud costs American taxpayers from $60 to $74 billion annually. And that’s just the storefront scam artists, not individuals milking the system illegally. They probably haven’t figured that one out yet. And don’t get me started on scooters for those who need to get off their asses and walk a little, diabetic testing supplies that tells you when you’ve had enough beer and pretzels, and the catheters that all of America owes to those struggling to pee freely.

We mustn’t overlook smoking related illnesses costing America’s healthcare over $137 billion, alcohol illnesses $174 billion, while other drugs weigh in at over $114 billion. And don’t get me started on those idiots, whose last words were, “hey, watch this” or “this’ll be on YouTube”. But we don’t hear the clarion call for America to stop smoking, hang it up before that second case of Bud, don’t use drugs, or maybe ask your mommy if this is the smartest thing you can do without a helmet.

Oops, I almost forgot the impact that illegal aliens impose on our bulging budgets. Hundreds of billions would not be an exaggeration.

Lawsuits, on the other hand, increase healthcare costs $124 billion a year, with another $50 billion going to repetitious defensive medical testing. In short, 10% of every healthcare dollar goes to defensive medicine and liability. You also don’t hear that small business bears 69% of tort liability but takes in only 19% of America’s revenues, while creating 75% of the new jobs. But we haven’t heard a peep on tort reform.

No sir, apparently fat people are a far greater threat to America than Barney Frank, Chris Dodd, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, who have collectively just cost America several trillion bucks. But I haven’t seen any legislation that can reign in this gang of confederates, much less than put them in jail, where they belong.

But putting taxes on what fat people might eat will cure the budget shortfall. Yeah right, I’ll let you make that call. Meanwhile it’s business as usual. Hey, lookey over here, I see something shiny. Dumbplumber

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