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Sunday, June 03, 2012

Simplifying Government

If one more person tells me that our economic crisis is “complicated”, I’m going to strip myself naked, move to Florida and chew off somebody’s face. Oh, already been done? Shucks.

No, pilgrims, our situation ISN’T complicated, it’s entrenched, it’s political, it’s self-aggrandizing, it’s rampant, it’s endemic, it’s partisan, it’s without redemption and unending, but it isn’t complicated. Let me explain.

Current wisdom (if you can say that in Washington, D.C. and Sacramento) dictates that we must merely create jobs and our troubles will melt away. For you folks in Hollywood, that means that if we somehow lowered our unemployment rate from 8.2% down to say 5%, then we will mysteriously, through the magic of the ‘multiplying effect’ (aka the ‘velocity of money’), spontaneously make the $4billion a day that we borrow and spend, disappear.

And if you believe that, you’re an idiot. Let’s review.

We are dragging unsustainable spending, like an escaped convict drags his ball and chain. The notion that we must maintain failing agencies that provide NO benefit, but plenty of liability, never occurred to contemporary political leaders as a loser. So Dumbplumber submits his list of agencies that do not pay their own way and in many cases have become that 800 lb. ball and chain.

Before I make my list, I must begin by warning the U.S. Postal Service. You either pay your own way or shut down. Because we have a private sector that will deliver the mail for 60% of what you do now and make a profit. It is not up to me to tell you how you got yourself into this mess.

As for everyone else any agency created to make things better, save money or provide a service desperately needed by America and has done none of the above, then they’re gone.

Gone is the Energy Dept., Education Dept, the EPA, Dept of Transportation, Homeland Security (only because they are redundant) and about 2/3rds of the hundreds of useless bureaucracies that infest our Federal Government from coast to coast.

For instance, the Dept of Energy launched under Jimmy Carter, was formed to make America more energy independent. To say they haven’t is an understatement. In fact, it would be more accurate to say what they DIDN’T do is what has brought us to where we are today.

Did they encourage more exploration offshore? No. Did they, in any way, assist in exploration of the Bakken Field, America’s oil and gas reserve that dwarfs known reserves in Saudi Arabia? No. Or, did they in any way develop “fracking” or horizontal drilling, as a way to extend the life of existing fields or develop new ones? Hell no.

However they have spent a lot of time discouraging and delaying exploration in remote lands, such as ANWAR, where it has been established that reindeer and bear love to snuggle up next to the warm pipelines.  And the delays new drilling permits in the Gulf of Mexico has become legendary, nevermind that Cuba, China and probably Russia will have rigs dotting the skyline before you know it.

Nothing quite like having your economic and political enemies poaching your oil right under your nose.

Our Education Dept. has become the laughing stock, with teachers unions driving the clown car and educators depriving our youth the basic skills to go forward in life. Under the Dumbplumber Administration they would be gone before the echo of the Oath of Office was silenced.

Ditto the EPA, the Transportation Dept and Homeland Security, which are all duplicitous paper shufflers of State and other Federal agencies. Gone, gone and double gone. Ka Ching. Replaced by universal State statutes that say: If you contaminate our air, water or land through negligence or intention, you will be piped sunlight for the rest of your natural life, jerk.

If such offense occurs through accident, you will feel some real economic and moral pain, but at least you get to live.

Likewise with Homeland Security. You in any way attempt to harm this country or its citizens, the weight of the U.S. Armed Forces will turn you and your daddy into dust. We will however provide maps and bottled water for the wayward foreigners needing direction back to Mexico or Honduras. 

In short, things should be a lot more simple and understandable. Like a simple question for future Presidents and California Governors. Can you run America on $6 billion a day, or $2 trillion a year? Can you run California on $65 billion a year? That’s how simple it gets.

If you can’t do either of these, you might look into a different line of work. Because when enough voting taxpayers realize that they are paying for your and your predecessor’s irresponsibility, with no end in sight, they will send you packing.

I’m sorry, but you have to break a few eggs to make an omelet, lawyers, contracts, binding arbitration, unsustainable “defined” pension and benefit packages aside.

So continuing to do the same thing over and over expecting a different outcome, is not only insane, it’s just plain stupid.

We Are So Screwed, Dumbplumber

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