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Friday, October 17, 2008

Joe the Plumber: Life outside the D.C. Cesspool

The Dumbplumber…life outside the D.C. cesspool

Well now they have gone and done it. They are picking on a plumber, “Joe The Plumber” to be exact, and I’m mad as hell and not gonna take it any more. Politicians, pundits and pinheads alike don’t really want to go where they think they’re going, for if you climb down in the septic tank, you’re going to be wearing a little excrement by the time you climb out.

Joe Wurzelbacher, aka Joe the Plumber, made the mistake of being anywhere near Obama on that fateful day. Now he is paying for it. It was a fool’s errand to talk to Obama, much less than ask him a question. At that moment “Joe” should have heard the toilet flush just as he removed the plug in the sewer line. Now the feces is coming down on him, with nowhere to go. “He’s not licensed”. “He’s got tax problems”. He’s got ear hair. How dare he question the Messiah?

Joe can forget about buying that plumbing company he works for. Not that it isn’t a good opportunity, but with his sudden fame he is now a target for every Left Wingnut trolling his neighborhood or surfing the Net. His fifteen minutes of fame will cost him dearly in future contracts with Liberals, negotiations with union goons and interviews with our friends at the IRS Criminal Investigation Unit.

Joe will rue the day he became the darling of Conservatives and fresh meat for the media puppets and Liberal zealots alike, mostly because, while “Joe the Plumber” has been mentioned more in the last 48 hours than Brittney Spears, Madonna and Gary Coleman combined, there are no book deals or movies out there for him. No pay-window for Joe.

My utmost respect goes out to Joe for his grasp of economic and tax issues and his trying to explain these to the Democrat Candidate. However, I fear that Joe’s candid conversation will do little to educate “The One”, whose style far outweighs his substance.

Good luck Joe. You’re gonna need it.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

We Don't Need No Stinkin' Identification

You can’t drive a car in any state of the union without a driver’s license. To get a license, you must fill out an application, provide an address, birth certificate, or another state I.D.

To cash a check, you must show a valid I.D. and/or a check cashing card from your bank.

To open a bank account, you must fill out a form and show a valid I.D.

To get a credit card, you must fill out an application and show a valid I.D.

To finance a car, a sofa, a boat or a flat screen, you must fill out an application and show a valid I.D.

To apply for welfare or other public assistance, you must show some sort of identification and fill out a legible application.

To receive food stamps, you must apply and provide some I.D.

Given that the public accepts these requirements, for virtually every walk of life, why is it suddenly so important to register and vote the same day or within just a few days, when the system is not prepared to handle a huge influx of citizens suddenly struck with the uncontrollable urge to vote?

Where was this urge during the Primaries? Under a bridge? Pissing in an alley? Bumming for change on the Avenues?

Is it because these folks are born procrastinators? Is it because they forgot there was an election, until some guy giving away cigarettes reminded him?

Is it because, while these freeze dried patriots, who don’t know “Dick“, much less than Dick Cheney or Nancy Pelosi and are suddenly enamored with Obama, but don’t know why or what he stands for. Or, is it because a publicly funded group of Left Wing zealots have figured out a way to “game” the election system in a few battleground states, with the additional incentive of $800k from one of the candidates?

Monday, October 13, 2008

Are We Crazy?

Has the world lost its mind? Democrats took over Congress two years ago with promises to lower energy prices with some “common sense measures.” Well, with the financial world in a meltdown, oil is now below $80 a barrel. However, I’m not so sure that causing Wall Street to lose 40% of its value over the last year and dragging global markets behind it, would qualify as a “common sense measure“. Still, Democrats say it is because of Bush???

And….over 50% of America believes them!!!

Well, don’t bother going back and seeing who sparked this housing crash with demands that every person deserved a house they had no way of paying for. The cast of clowns responsible are still sitting in their leather chairs up on Capitol Hill. So, those that paved the way for this debacle, are now trying to claim credit for getting us out of it.

Nothing like putting the cart before the horse, because by my last check, that $850 billion is still setting in Paulson’s “In Box” growing hair. Seems that Hank could have used some of that downtime he spent waiting for Nancy, Harry and Company to stop pissing on each other over the “sweeteners”(formerly referred to as earmarks) they were planting inside the biggest ransom in history, to figure out who would get the booty, once it hit his desk. Guess that sort of takes some of the edge off the initial “urgency” of the bailout request, over two weeks ago, doesn’t it?

No folks, this isn’t extortion. It isn’t even a well laid plan. It is a loose knit combination of incompetence, ineptitude, and unmitigated greed combined with opportunity, motive and ability. Unfortunately, it is also the end of business as usual on Wall Street, Main Street and unfortunately, your street.

You see, while those that were helping themselves, when they were supposed to be watching out for us, let the shields down and allowed the Klingons to enter our Starship. So now, while our representatives are all busy pointing fingers at each other, claiming legislative divine intervention, the interlopers are picking the meat off our financial carcass, with impunity. Some even have speculated that foreign forces, with billions at their fingertips, are at work in what only can be described as the worlds biggest video game where they are “gaming” our financial system for trillions. But the silence on this front is deafening, even though proof is at our fingertips.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Obama Follow the Money

Now here we go again. Senator Obama’s campaign money changers are busy “returning” all kinds of questionable donations to questionable donors, because they have been notified by “scrutinizers” that donors with scrabbled syllables as names may not be suitable or acceptable, especially since their serial donations are not hundreds, but thousands more than legal limits.

We all remember the Hillary campaign, which got caught accepting “bundled” donations of thousands of dollars each from dishwashers, waitresses, and shoeshine boys, all of Asian descent. Well, Obama sort of cancelled that out with his own little “International Dialing For Dollars” organization.

Obama is no dummy, he went where the real money was, Nigeria, Saudi Arabia and other “Muslim” nations, just itching to have a self avowed “Christian” in the White House. Of course the money they were sending him was originally ours, which was a fraction they have acquired by extortion, fraud and corruption… at the pump, over the internet and through the mail.

Scrutinizers discovered, quite by accident, that Dahsudhu Hduadh of Df, Hawaii and Uadhshgu Hduadh of Dhff, Fla. may not be the honest, hard working Obama supporters that the Obama bean counters thought they were.

Now, I don’t want to go out on a limb here, but I have heard that Df has the 35th best surf on planet, while Dhff, Florida has a Hooters not to be believed. All the waitresses are over 60 and still have the implants they got in the 70’s. Hooorah.

But seriously folks, Obama and Obama’s game plan has more holes than a bolt of cheesecloth, more deception than Barney Frank at a Freddie and Fannie costume ball and more obfuscation than a platoon of Philadelphia lawyers at Guantanamo. Call it what you will, but out and out fraud is not actionable in a political campaign, which is what we have here. So, while campaigns casually claim they are returning these contributions, I wait to see the canceled check from Dhff, Florida or Df, Hawaii, much less than anyone whose name was picked from a bowel of Alphabet Soup.

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Winking at Palin

Winking. Winking! Winking!!! What’s with all the comments about Sarah Palin’s winking? Jesus, with all the Left wing media dissecting her life, like a frog in freshman biology, you would think they could come up with something better than winking. Now you know why Obama is running through millions like we run through pocket change.

In fact, after Obama’s Army of investigators invaded Alaska with their Gold plated credit cards and after her interviews with Katie and Charlie, with all the follow-up character assassinations, all they could come up with was some grainy footage of a beauty contest she entered to earn a scholarship and that she doesn’t do well with “gottcha” questions. I couldn’t have been less surprised if she had walked up to the debate podium wearing a NASCAR tee shirt, with a beer in one hand, puffing on a Marlboro, apologizing for being late because she had to stop for a tattoo.

And what about Biden? You know, the man of the people, who has had to make some serious decisions while sitting at the kitchen table (or in his case at a 20 ft. dining table complete with candelabras). You know, decisions like whether or not he is going to complete his hair transplants or just let the back forty go fallow; whether to go two or three weeks between the botox injections on his forehead, that is so taught that it puts him into the running for a spot on Mt. Rushmore or just how many candlepower he wants his teeth whitener to be, looks like he settled on about 200,000.

Yet all we hear from the Left on Biden is his vast senatorial experience--even though he is all over the map with his voting; his 35 years in the Senate, but not a peep about his two failed presidential bids and that he commutes from Delaware to D.C. every day by train (because he is too cheap to rent an apartment or fly). Also, he commutes at taxpayer expense, to remind himself that he is not one of the “little” people for a couple of hours a day.

Well, there you have it. Looks like we are down to choosing between a chain smoking, beer swilling, bear skinning, trailer tramp and an east coast, elitist and entrenched political hack, who spends way too much time and money on his makeovers and kissing Obama’s A**.

Make-over for Biden

Now usually, I’m not one to comment on someone else’s appearance, since I don’t pretend to groom myself, each morning, to a standard beyond being allowed into a cattle auction. But last night, on the vice-presidential debates, I couldn’t help but notice some cosmetic “enhancements” on Joe Biden that challenge anything found in nature.

First, his “whitened” smile would dim the lights on a ‘68 Bonneville.

Second, the Botox in his forehead has stretched his skin so tight “taggers” are fighting over who will be first to spray paint an Obama ad on it.

Third, someone needs to tell Joe that he went bald years ago. The telltale sign is the hairless patch of skin, resting quietly behind the field of hair plugs, clinging to the front of his scalp like lichens on lava rock. Hey Joe, YOUR F**KING BALD, either plant the rest of the pasture or mow that sucker.

The only thing that Joe and I have in common is that neither of us look at the back of our heads before we leave the house, while only one of us risks a rear camera shot, while bloviating.

The Village Idiots

There is an old saying that, “The village has lost an idiot”. Well, after the $700 (er, or $850 or whatever) billion dollar bailout, I submit that the idiots have lost the village.

We have now fallen and there is little chance we will ever get back up. With this latest “Super Nova” of boondoggles, we have reset the rules where we are “bailing out” states, auto makers, wooden arrow manufacturers, rum distillers, peanut museums and any other vote buying, pet projects needed to get an incumbent re-elected.

Between the “under the radar” granting of some $25 billion to automakers (under the guise of retooling for future fuels), while America’s attention was focused on the “idiots”, who were busy larding up the biggest bailout in history, and the current request by California for a $7 billion dollar “loan”, we are simply reducing ourselves to government-by-extortion”.

And how do I know this? Well, California just had a Federal Judge order them to commit $8 billion dollars to upgrading prison hospitals. So who believes that $7 billion will go to making the rest of California’s honest, hard working people’s lives any better?

And as for the auto industry, who doesn’t believe another strike is just around the corner? Just like the Big Three, state governments are being hamstrung by the steady march of employee unions extorting exorbitant pay and benefit packages that further widen the gulf between the public and private sector. But do we post the pay scales, or the insurance and retirement packages of these employees, when negotiations hit the fan….NO! We just merrily go about our way picking the pockets of taxpayers to pay the ransom.

So while government representatives are busy feathering the nests of their abductors, small business America is making plans of its own. Big Government and Big Unions have both outlived and outgrown their intention or mission. Time for “small business” America to de-claw, de-fang and otherwise clip the wings of government and unions run amok.

And maybe the unintended consequences of "small business" America losing money and not paying taxes for a few quarters will accomplish that very thing.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Palin and Comedy

So what’s all the bruhaha over Sarah Palin? She’s not qualified. She has no foreign policy experience. She’s a joke. Hardee, har, har.

Well for you folks over 40, Tina Fey is the new Dana Carvey.

For all of you with short memories, or no memories at all, Dana Carvey made a career of satirizing Ross Perot. Never mind that Dana Carvey didn’t now where Fresno was, much less than Nome or Moscow. So now we have Tina Fey doing the same to Sarah Palin. But Sarah Palin is no Ross Perot.

There isn’t a day goes by that the Saturday Nite Live crew isn’t aired on some network or another. And while they poke a lot of fun at Bill Clinton, John McCain, Sarah Palin and Carl Rove, they are conspicuous in their absence of any poking at either of the Obamas. Well there is a good reason for that…Fear.

Not only are the Obamas off limits, there is absolutely nothing funny about them. And while they have wrapped themselves in the cloak of “Racism”, fending off all criticism of policy, position or posture, their associations, past actions and aspirations scare the living crap out of any thinking American.

So while the comedic world makes mincemeat out of Palin and McCain in direct benefit to Obama, their conspicuous absence of any Obama mirth speaks volumes of their dual fears of either “not” satirizing Palin, while giving Obama a pass.

Your bias, partisanship and unbridled favoritism to an empty suit, whose only accomplishments have been extorting public funds to give to others is palpable. So keep it up you court jesters. America is keeping score.