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Saturday, October 10, 2009

The Notell Nobel

This morning I queried, who’d ever thought that it would be easier to get the Nobel Peace Prize than a bowling trophy? That seemed funny until I learned that it was to be a trophy for your first 100 game.

Since then I’ve had a whole day and a lot of input, to put this all into perspective and things are far worse than I thought. Nevermind that most of the Media sophisticates are likewise befuddled at how the worst bowler in presidential history scored a Nobel Prize. So, after some Web surfing, Google punching and, last but not least, plunger gazing, I think, by George, I’ve got it.

The secret to all this bruhaha is that the Nobel isn’t quite as important as we had originally thought. Or in the bastardized words of Inigo Montoya, “I don’t think ‘Peace Prize’ means what you think it means”. For instance, It has been reported that Sundance Resort is giving away Nobel Prizes with every season pass. Not true. They are giving away the Nobel with parking pass. It is Mt. Ashland’s Bunny Hill that gives away Nobels with every season pass.

Furthermore, you can take any of these Nobels and get a free pizza at Godfather Pizza, in over 300 U.S. cities.

Nobels have been reportedly given to growers of very large pumpkins, winners of hot dog eating competitions and hookers who have shown generous compassion to farm animals and Liberal politicians…on the same evening. These prizes grace the mantles of countless winners of dwarf tossing, gourd smashing and gerbil racing championships.

Some say that it wouldn’t be long before the S&H company was going to issue “Nobel” collecting booklets where you could glue in your prizes instead of the old stamps. Plans are to award a Chinese toaster for every 5 booklets of Nobels.

Yes my friends, the Nobels aren’t what they used to be, and neither are the recipients. So if you are somehow dazed and confused about the importance of the Nobels today, you’re not half as stunned as the guy it was given to.

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