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Thursday, August 12, 2010

So, Tell Me Again

Okay people. Time to swivel your heads, roll your eyes and say auwmmm, auwmmm a few times. Cough, gargle plug your nose and clear your head of all the nauseating ad nauseum gobbledygook you have heard about the Muslim mosque planned for the site near Ground Zero. Stop thinking about the posturing politicians, the whimpering survivors, the pookey disturbing talking heads stirring the pot about the sensitivity, the conspiracy, and the notion that this facility is a “trophy” for bringing down the Twin Towers.

You can stop now because the Dumbplumber is here to easy your angst, your anxiety, your media driven phobia of the Shariah Temple of Lower Manhattan. Get over it pilgrims, it ain’t gonna happen and I’m here to tell you why.

Unions are why. Yes, I said it. Unions are not gonna allow this abomination and it’s the only thing I really like about them. Call them any thing you like but don’t call them late for dinner or lovers of Islam.

Here’s how it works. Sham Ala Ooom Bom Bang wants to build a mosque at ground zero. He first hires some towel head architects to scribble some lines in the sand with a stick and tells the City that they will build it pronto.

Well folks, that is where the rubber leaves the road. Seems that City Hall wants to see some paper with ink, some engineering data, seismic studies and load calculations. Oops, they got blown away with the wind. Now, there are the palms to grease, the inspectors to bribe and the politicians to schmooze. Oh darn, now we have a problem. But not nearly the problem they are going to encounter when someone tries to start the project.

Now I don’t want to go out on a limb here, but demolition in Manhattan isn’t aiming a shoulder mounted rocket or a Boeing 737 at a building and yelling Allah Akbar. There are the beginnings to a string of destruction and construction unions you have to deal with and most are run by the Mafia( read as Stars and Stripes waving Italian Americans) So here we go.

You don’t level a building, you don’t haul it away, you don’t excavate the footings, you don’t dig the new foundations, you don’t deliver anything to the jobsite, you don’t lay the rebar, you don’t pour the concrete,

you don’t erect the steel, you don’t build the forms, you don’t pour the footings, you don’t operate the cranes, you don’t string the conduit, you don’t pull the wire, you don’t plumb, you don’t remove the debris, you don’t operate the backhoes, the dump trucks or the fork lifts, you don’t deliver the supplies, you don’t cater the site, you don’t drywall, you don’t paint, you don’t carpet, you don’t glaze (that’s install glass for you from Mississippi and Alabama), you don’t wallpaper, you don’t poop in a port-a-potty that you don’t involve a union member. In short: YOU DON’T DO SHIT THAT A UNION WORKER DOESN’T DO IT.

So you will forgive me for my cerebral shortcomings, but tell me again just how some Allah loving, Shariah sucking, cave dwelling, mutton munching, Quran thumping, freedom hating goobers trying to blow us back into the 12th Century, think they can build a monument to their “one off” box cutter armed nut bags, who took advantage of our Liberties and Freedoms to bring down America’s largest symbol of international capitalism. No sir, I didn’t think you could.

You see, without Freedom, Liberty and Capitalism there wouldn’t be economic development, a booming private sector, OR UNIONS. So, to help build this Mosque would be the moral equivalent of a standing ovation for 9/11. So the only thing left to understand is why the print, digital and video media is wasting so much time debating something that just isn’t going to happen.

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