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Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Hell in a Hand Basket

There are many that believe that America is going to Hell and they are preparing accordingly, buying Gold and Silver, then putting them in a vault, where they gather moss and, for now, value. But Dumbplumber thinks this is just stupid. If I’m going to hoard something, it better be edible.

Oh, we’re going to Hell alright. But as heard about a year ago on one of the blogs, “when all Hell breaks loose, Plumbers will be Kings”. Now that may be sort of a stretch, but if plumbers are Kings, hunters will be Emperors, if not Gods. No my friends, things won’t look quite the same when the sky falls.

Gold may be the big dog now, but look for it to be on the shelves in Dollar Stores in the future. The reason: Because guns and ammo will be stored in Fort Knox. In fact, it won’t surprise me if banks empty their vaults of cash and fill them up with toilet paper, catsup and Band Aids.

Oh, there will still be millionaires. In fact I will have a couple of them weeding my garden and washing my trucks for in trade for my plumbing services. In fact, I suspect there will be a lot of folks out there, that hoarded gold, performing tasks totally unrelated to their chosen fields.

For instance, lawyers will be hosing down slaughter houses for dinner, CPAs will be washing dishes for a chance to stand in line for a cup of soup .
And it will be a hoot watching Politicians stuffing firewood into homemade boilers and weeding vegetable rows in community greenhouses.

Of course the big box stores in the cities will have to retool. Out will be carpets, appliances and fancy plumbing fixtures. In will be axes, hammers and hand saws. Any spare room will store nuts, berries and the mother of all banquet favorites, cases of Top Ramen soup and bags of red beans and rice.

But the number one commodity will be guns and ammo and anything that can be converted to guns and ammo. Yessir, I can’t wait to see the ‘Hope and Change’ Messiah scrounging in the landfills for Beer Nuts, discarded sodas and the occasional Marlboro butts. Those will go quite well with his Humble Pie and a double helping Crow.

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