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Wednesday, January 09, 2013

Mapping Tragedy

It's now all the craze to make fun of the maps being created showing where owners of ‘legal’ weapons live, including law enforcement officers. Nevermind that you can’t make a map of where ’ILLEGAL’ gun owners live. Nor can you make one of where legal owners used to live or where they will live a week from now.

The notion that you are going to ‘out’ the place where every owner of a legal weapon lives, to stem future mass murder, is ridiculous. And what’s the point? Only a scintilla of the gun murders are committed by ‘legal’ gun owners any way.

However, there’s apparently one concept that has missed the attention of the gun Nazis. The location of every person getting LEGALLY prescribed mind-altering narcotics, taken either alone or in tandem with another drugs, shown to produce aggressive, paranoid, delusional or otherwise psychotic behavior in patients. Remember, this information is readily available, but considered confidential.

Now overlay that map with the location of all males between 18 and 35 that are still living in mommy’s basement who survive on a diet of Jolt Cola and Cheetos, while spending otherwise productive hours playing violent video games, depicting the wholesale slaughter of perceived and fabricated animated enemies with automatic weapons, bombs and heavy artillery.

Then overlay that map with the location of all those that bow at the alter of the likes of Michael Moore, Piers Morgan, Sean Penn, Rosie O’Donnell, Nora O’Donnell, Lawrence O’Donnell (Hell, all the O’Donnells) or any of the loons on MSNBC, and you will have pretty much pinpointed the location of future mass murderers.

However, while the ACLU will ignore the rights of legal gun owners, they will fight tooth and nail to protect the privacy of those basement dwellers, who busy themselves with constructing, devising and executing mass killings, the rest of us will have to endure 24/7 on our news cycles for the two weeks following their assaults. And then the inevitable call for gun control after.

Our only reward is that the murderers usually take the easy way out with one shot to the twisted noodle, saving taxpayers tens of millions in investigation, prosecution and incarceration of the offenders. But not to worry, law enforcement will spend those tens of millions anyway.

We are So Screwed

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