Real Wars

The Iraq War….. Come on, there is no war in Iraq. Iraq is just a place where a bunch of sand monkeys are going around blowing things up to put fear in the populous. There hasn’t been a real War since Vietnam and that wasn’t a war either because our Congress didn’t have the sack to declare one even though 50 thousand or so of our sons and daughters died there. Korea…. that wasn’t a War. It was called a “police action” and claimed over 32 thousand lives.
No… these weren’t Wars in the legal sense. We have to look back to WWII where 62 million that perished, or WWI with over 32 million total casualties to find a real war. Hell, Iraq couldn’t carry water for a real warrior’s bourbon, when it comes to a War. Jesus folks, more men perished in a single day, in the U.S. Civil War, than in the 3 years we have been in Iraq. It was not uncommon for 5 or 10 thousand men to die during one or two day battles. Now those were wars.

Iraq isn’t a War. It’s a bunch of Islamic zealots taking a page or two out of the IRA handbook in Ireland. The IRA knew the folly of engaging the British Army face to face. So about 200 courageous souls supported by thousands of sympathizers engaged in guerilla tactics and held off the British for decades.

On top of this, America and coalition forces are waging a “politically correct” war, where we go house to house and knock to see if anybody is home. Sort of like letting Avon ladies with guns go door knocking to see if the owner has the latest in eye shadow, lipstick and grenade launchers. I swear, we would probably be better off turning the Jehovah Witnesses lose in Baghdad, the residents would probably just kill themselves after the 3rd or 4th visit.

No, wars are where a lot of the dead are not the warriors. Wars are where the will of the people is broken through sheer devastation, where the will to survive overwhelms any perceived political ambitions. And, if and until we are prepared to wage such a War, Iraq will forever be the most expensive failed attempt, by the West, to secure liberty to a nation that has never had it and wouldn’t know what to do with it if they did.

Virtual Violence

In an afternoon retreat to the back deck, with laptop in hand, I am still salving my wounds over an earlier e-attack by a pack of slobbering, salivating, drooling Liberals. Part of my recuperation is the beautiful panoramic view of early October in the Fall River Valley, with about a mile of meandering Pit River, bordered by the autumn crush of oak trees.

The wounds, while not serious and certainly not physical, could most accurately be described as self inflicted. For if I had not picked the scabs of the more outspoken of Liberal sycophants, to a local newspaper blog, I would not be having this conversation now.

This latest of a series of recurring events has awakened me to the reality of cyber-conflict, e-fighting, or virtual violence. Never one to shy away from a confrontation, I have discovered the advantages of virtual violence as opposed to physical confrontation or armed assault, fewer bruises, mostly to the ego, no stitches or broken bones

The internet has opened doors to personal conflict never experienced by telephone, telegraph or snail Mail. The blogosphere has allowed us to an unfettered assault upon those with which we disagree. The tools are at our fingertips to reasonably disarm, disable or embarrass an opponent in minutes.


In the past, a telephone confrontation would force us to respond, sometimes incorrectly, without adequate information or preparation. A letter stirring conflict required a retreat to an encyclopedia or library before we shipped off a documented response, which would take days or weeks.

Now, we just open another window, peck in a few commands to Google, and voila an e-answer, the ammunition of the cyber assassin. The down side is that the opposing party is doing the same thing and the assaults and insults go on and on.

Part of the healing process is our cyber buddies, friends that we most likely have never met, but who have become kindred spirits to our causes and usually the cause is politics.


Unlike office parties, family reunions and happy hour, the internet IS for arguments about religion and politics. No holds barred arguments complete with dates, times and details take minutes, not days, weeks or months.

Arguments online are not for the faint of heart or those with thin skin. Personal assaults are the rule, not the exception, especially when it comes to partisan politics. The divide between Liberals and Conservatives will not be bridged anytime soon. So, you can forget about Libertarians, Greens and Peace and Freedom’ites ever pulling for each another. And woe be the naïve blogger stumbling upon a site trolled by a different party affiliation. “Piling on” is an understatement when an interloper criticizes the party line. And in the case of Liberals, they must troll in packs because they share one brain.

The ultimate irony of the Internet, is that even though it is considered the information “superhighway”, it fails to change minds. In fact, if anything, it has galvanized and solidified political positions, to the detriment of reason, logic and historical reference. I may be going out on a limb here, but I believe that the term “revisionist history” was an early prodigy of the Internet.

It is no longer simply right or wrong or black and white, it is now Right or Left, Conservative or Liberal. Opposing camps have dug in and are entrenched for the duration. And absent a catastrophic event supporting one camp or the other, I see no indications that things are going to change anytime soon.

November Initiatives

A cursory glance at the initiatives on the California November ballot reveals that voters are being given all the rope they need for a $42 billion hanging. Initiatives happen when the people we elected fail to repair our roads, protect our water, rebuild our levees, secure our energy future, refurbish our schools, provide shelters to battered women or even find consensus on additional taxes to support health care to smokers, who didn’t heed a printed warning that TOBACCO CAN KILL YOU.

Granted, our elected officials are hamstrung with the bulge of budget entitlements, escalating union salaries, non-negotiable mandatory expenditures and extorted health and pension benefits, not to mention the oppressive Federal mandates that never get repaid. The latter being expenses to provide services to those that are illegal aliens, professional deadbeats or gamers of the system.

The irony of the ballot Initiative is that once you approve the bonds to pay for all these services, the Legislature will do damn well what it wants with the money, do to loopholes big enough to drive a truck through. For instance, fuel taxes were always intended to be used to improve, expand and repair our highways. Proposition 1A tells you how well that worked out.
I would submit that if you took away all the “smoke and mirrors“, rhetoric, political blustering, the “slight of hand” tricks and the ACLU and ADA lawsuits, a group of high school sophomores could craft a more responsible budget for California. A high school diploma, while desirable, would simply be superfluous to the current process.

Here’s an idea. Vote yes on 1A, then 1B would be moot. Deny developers permits to build where mother nature and gravity has the upper hand. Get communities involved with upgrading their own schools instead of squandering education dollars on architects, consultants and “prevailing wage“ construction costs.

Let the charitable community take care of abused women, let Smith and Wesson take care of the abusers. Get government, large or small, out of the redevelopment business they’re not very good at it and it’s just an end run around Prop 13, which we also voted for.

And last but not least, let adolescent boys have voluntary vasectomies so that young girls won’t need to have tax paid abortions or the alternative welfare support. See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?

Redding California Diary

Redding, California Diary:May 30: Just moved to Redding. Now this is a city that knows how to live!!!Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! It isbeautiful.I've finally found my home. I love it here.

June 14: Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live inan air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.

June 30th: Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 10th: The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How dopeople get used to this kind of heat? At least it's kind of windythough. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th: Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% ofmy body). Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson thought. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

July 20th: I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I leftthis morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the upholstery. The car now smells like Kibbles and shit. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.

July 25th: The wind sucks. I feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!!And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and theAC repairman charged $200.00 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.

July 30th: Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now.$300,00 house and I can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

Aug 4th: It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixedtoday. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85. I hate thisstupid city.

Aug 8th: If another wise ass cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'mgoing to strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work, theradiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet and I smell like baked cat!!

Aug 9th: Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when I sat on the seats in the car, I thought my ass was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.

Aug 10th: The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do shit for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn desert? Water rationing will be next, so my $1700 worth of cactus will just dry up and blow over! Even the cactus can't live in this damn heat.

Aug 14th Welcome to HELL!! Temperature got to 115 today. Forgot to crack the window and blew out the damn windshield in the car. The installer came to fix and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My sister had to spend $1500 to bail me out of jail. Freaking Redding!!!
What kind of sick demented idiot would want to live here????

Willwrite later to let you know how the trial goes.

This was sent to the Dumbplumber by his mother. You have to know the Redding area to appreciate the humor.

Mulsim Welcome

My dear friends and enemies,

There is some concern about the coming days, as it is clear that radical Islam is on the warpath. Militant Islam has, as it’s stated goal, declared war on all infidels, particularly Israel and America.

To Islams’ credit, they have immigrated to many countries on the globe and have set up shop. Not unlike other foreigners, Muslims cluster together in communities of other Muslims. But unlike other immigrants, Muslims maintain an iron fist on their wives and children, not letting them adjust to the ways, customs and cultures of their host countries.

Taking over many countries will not be a problem for the militant Muslims, as their governments are run by a bunch of panty wearing liberals. If at first the sheer number of Muslims protesting local customs is not enough to get the changes they want in laws and ordinances, they can always kill a few innocents to get the rest in line.

On the other hand, when the Muslim terrorists attempt these tactics here, some of our more famous American family members will be here to greet them. The Winchesters, the Remingtons, the Savages, the Marlins and the Smiths and Wessons are looking forward to their arrival.

Do Gooder Karma

It is amusing to witness the bleeding heart liberals as they intervene and halt the executions of heinous, vicious murderers. They claim that killing is wrong. Mass murderers, they believe, should spend the rest of their lives incarcerated, at taxpayers expense, even though the murderers showed no such considerations for their victims. Ironically, these same do-gooders support the aborting of a living fetus, the weakest among us, for no better a reason than it might crimp the cash flow in the 2nd or 3rd trimester, or was inconvenient as was the last 5 abortions, masked as birth control. Of course the vast majority of these are at taxpayer expense.

Granted, the appeals process is likewise financed by the taxpayers and can run from 15 to 25 years, depending on jurisdiction and level of bleeding heart concern. But now we must have doctors administer the lethal injections, which violates the Hippocratic oath, exposing them to license suspension.

It is amusing, because at the rate we are warehousing murderers, rapists, pedophiles, and other violent offenders, we are committing a higher and higher percentage of our discretionary spending to incarceration, protection and appealing sentences of the worst of the worst of our violent offenders. Therefore, at some point, we must begin sacrificing other entitlements and budgets to insure appropriate funding for these incorrigibles.

I can’t wait until the day our government notifies pensioned workers that their retirement checks will be cut to provide funding for inmate appeals. I silently muse at the thought of SSI beneficiaries having to cut back on cigarettes, beer and Twinkies, so that serial rapists can have adequate housing, once released. I chortle at the notion that all government employees will have to forgo wage increases or endure higher health insurance co-payment, so that inmates can complete sex changes, cosmetic surgery and receive Viagra.

No, I predict that once the pain of funding these ridiculous mandates hit’s the doorsteps of the whining Liberals, there will be a brawl to see who is the first to pull the lever, drop the pellet or inject the no-good, rotten son-of-a-bitch, who raped and killed that poor little girl. Better we should hang high the worst offenders than threaten our $10 office co-pays, our bloated benefit packages or our obscene retirement plans. Better yet, we should take these funds from millionaire farmers, paid to not grow crops. You would see thousands of acres donated for ‘dirtball graveyards’ before one farmer would give up a dollar of his financial gravy train.

Get ready America. This day is coming and the more we spend on health care, legal appeals and state-of-the-art facilities, for the lowest among us, it will be sooner rather than later.

Twilight Revelation Intelligent Design

It was in the wee hours of the morning that it came to me. Scientists, pseudo intellectuals, Left wing commie scholars and half witted, highly educated atheists, along with a whole cadre of highly mis-informed, but clueless agnostics, all have it wrong. They all dismiss ‘intelligent design’ or a higher power having created the life and the living we have today.

Now don’t confuse the Dumbplumber with the Born Again Right, the bible thumping do-gooders or the theologically adept. The Dumbplumber is just a simple observer. And on this subject he has observed that those who are supposed to know, don’t know diddly.

Oh, I have listened to the highbrows debate the theory of intelligent design against the science of evolution. In those debates, they both are wrong. Evolutionists believe and declare that there is NO science that supports intelligent design, while the evolutionists cannot reproduce one spec of evidence how life began.

Now I don’t want the evolutionists to lay out the path from pond slim to the inner workings of Steven Hawking. But I certainly believe that some sign of their beliefs, should be reproducible. The ‘degree packing’ disbelievers are most likely struggling more with professional envy of ‘intelligent design’, rather than any real effort to reproduce it.

Now I don’t expect today’s scientists to develop a complete human from clay and ashes, nor do I expect them to reproduce, say, the human eyeball. But, is it too much to ask those that pooh, pooh ‘intelligent design’ to, say, conjure up a single cell amoeba or at least a small bowl of algae. It isn’t like they have to do it by guessing, for Christ’s sake, (no pun intended), they already have the finished product. They have the advantage over the original creator, in that they can reverse engineer it. (For those of you from the Blue states, that means take apart the finished product and see how it was made)

Let’s face it, today’s engineers, biologists and scientists have the distinct advantage of the latest technologies, like lasers, fusion, fission and all those glass thingies with the colored liquids bubbling in the labs. On the other hand life’s engineers only had water, dirt, lightning, nitrogen, oxygen, some methane gas, maybe some space aliens, and a few billion years to conjure up pond slime (which has routinely been mistaken for the legal community).

Now I don’t want and go off on a rant here, but if you can’t at least make some sort of life with all the advantages you have today, you certainly haven’t earned the right to deny the existence of someone or something that has. Or, as they say in Texas, put up or shut up.

So, in the interest of fairness, the Dumbplumber will not speculate one way or the other on intelligent design or evolution. First, because that decision is well above his pay grade and second because it is a waste of his valuable time having a shoot out with an unarmed opponent. Because, if you can’t do something, don’t deny the existence of someone who already has.

For Sale By Owner

An advertisement for people in the Cities who think they have it all.

For Sale by Owner

2bdrm/2bath with 1200sq ft shop. $5 million, take it or leave it. Listed exclusively in the SF Bay Area, because you are the only ones dumb enough to pay it.

House is perched above the Pit River in Fall River Mills, Ca. looking over an unobstructed view of the Knoch Ranch on the eastern side of The Fall River Valley. A view costing ten times what I paid for it, but fifty times better than yours.

Mature trees dot the property and small fruit trees are just beginning to produce. The Pit river is a major flyway for geese, ducks, hawks and eagles, with the occasional pelican or cormorant, possessing a brain the size of a walnut, are smarter than you cesspool dwellers from the City.

Fall River may not have 4 star restaurants, or concierges at the hotels, but we have don’t have panhandlers, towel head taxi drivers or homeless shelters either. Our civic leaders mostly stay huddled in Redding, about 70 miles away and generally show up only for parades and votes. And while they think they govern us, our local population is what makes us work, unlike you idiots who have your mayor and his cronies micro-manage your every move, while you import your dishwashers, maids, and other assorted mandatory maintenance personnel from Modesto.

View includes a meandering oxbow in the river, which rivals anything you have to brag about down there. And when you have a water shortage, I routinely piss in the river with my neighbors, so your hired help from Sacramento will have something to wash their toothbrushes in. Our cattle, rice and berry farms produce food, so you ditwads won’t starve, while our groceries come to our local market from Freemont. Go figure.

We don’t care who you are or who your daddy is. But if you chose to come here, leave your ego, attitude and city ways behind, because they won’t buy jack here. No, it won’t appraise anywhere near the asking price. But it is worth far more than where your sorry ass lives now.

Contact the Dumbplumber, 1-800-GOT-OURS

Energy Economics

It is in the twilight hours of the night that the Dumbplumber lets his dreams sort out issues that boggle the conscious mind. It was during one of these moments that he came upon the principles of Energy Economics.

Energy Economics defy typical theories on how market forces control the costs of any given commodity. The dirty little secret is to maintain the high demand while controlling a limited supply. ‘Big Oil’ benefits from limited refining capacity, as they can double profits and retain capped reserves, while blaming market forces and eco-Nazis for limited supply.

For instance, if a hurricane is threatening the east coast of Kansas and the price of plywood suddenly goes to $100 a sheet, profiteers are prosecuted for plundering the catastrophe. Or if a volcano were to erupt in South Carolina, causing a mass exodus to Wisconsin, gas station owners, who suddenly raise fuel to $50 dollars a gallon would most certainly be jailed as well, but not in Energy Economics

The Petroleum Industry, sitting on the last 100 years of energy reserves, has concocted an entirely different scenario. A scheme only Maxwell Smart or Elmore Leonard could appreciate. They place their ‘controlled’ commodity on the world market to the highest bidder, then capitalize on natural and unnatural disasters to inflate cost of supply. You know, something like six shills sitting at a poker table, plucking the seventh clean of his hard earned stake.

Then while entire economies are brought to their knees on the fears of energy brokers bidding up ‘the barrel’ like Amarillo Slim slyly bids up a pair of twos against a full house, Big Energy decries the system on the front page, while reporting record profits on the financial page. This is not unlike hotels holding up customers to a minimum of a three day stay during a special event, when you only need the room for two nights, then blaming the cost of the supply on demand.

Applying these new found principles in a wee hours dream, the Dumbplumber envisioned himself a newly homeless nomad, having lost everything to Big Energy. He is trekking across the deserts of Nevada and comes across an overturned armored car spilling cash and bodies around the site. Buzzards are stalking the lone survivor of the horrible crash, who just happens to be the well known heir to an oil empire, and owner of a major resort hotel/casino where he further plunders the masses.

The heir is mortally injured, in excruciating pain and haunted by the looming vultures fighting over his pre-death morsels. Spying the approaching Dumbplumber, he begs to be put out of his misery with a single bullet. “I will pay you to put an end to this. How much for a bullet?”, he says.

“Well my much suffering friend you are in luck, the bullets are $10,000 each“, I say. The good news is I have thirteen clips left“, I add. “What’s the bad news?“, moans the dying tycoon. “The bad news is, I only sell clips by the dozen.”

Immigration Fed Up

The Dumbplumber has just about had it with the 24hr carpet bombing on the immigration debate. For purposes of this conversation, I am referring to Hispanic or Latino immigrants, so as not to confuse anyone with the persistent problem of the French or Swiss sneaking into the U.S..
First we must segregate the ‘legal’ immigrants and documented workers here that are playing by the rules. For the most part, the ‘guest’ workers are the foundation of the agriculture industry and most tend to send money back home while working here, then return to Mexico in the off season. If this practice is in any way disturbed, the produce section of your local market will require a ‘rope line’, a security guard and a gold card to enter.

No, what we are talking about are ‘illegal immigrants’ coming across the border ‘illegally’, looking for a better life, at the expense of American taxpayers, who foot the bill for education, health care and incarceration--when the system actually works. So, the 15 billion per year collected in payroll taxes has little impact on the 30 to 40 billion drain on States, supporting their presence. On the other hand, many aliens convicted of felonies and are incarcerated in the Federal System, find the living conditions and 30 cents per hour paid inmates for working, better than they had at home in Guatemala, El Salvador or Honduras, where they were often target practice, for the current regime de jour.

It is a given that many employers in America--mostly in agriculture industry-- would fold were it not for migrant workers, as crops already threatened by imported produce and high U.S. energy costs would soon price themselves out of the market. Unfortunately, the environmental protections imposed on America’s farmers are abandon on imported goods, in the name of free trade.

And in a masterful stroke of international diplomacy, Mexico does what no other country on the planet does, they manipulate the guest worker program ‘into’ the U.S.. Now I don’t want to cast aspersions on a country as ethically challenged as Mexico, but letting the Mexican bureaucracy expedite your guest worker papers is a little like building a bridge in New Jersey without first making a visit to Tony Soprano.

Sista ReSista

Congresswoman Sista Resista, Cynthia Mc Kinney is on a rampage because she assaulted a Capitol Security guard doing his job. Failing to produce her security clearance, official badging or Congressional Hall Pass, Sista Resista, fell back on her prejudicial roots and is professing her innocence based upon racial profiling, political insensitivies and a developing rage over a really bad hair-do.

Cindy having whacked the guard, when he insisted on some sort of I.D., before letting her enter the Capitol Building, speed dialed America Bashing, Harry Belafonte and Danny Glover to provide cameos during her motor mouth moment. Never mind that she is suffering from self indulgent importance, Ms. Mc Kinney is wallowing in righteous indignation for ignoring the rules of entering the House of Representatives.

If anyone needs a defense, it is the morons that voted her into office and the no talent, crank addicted hack that did her hair. She has about as much a right to circumvent the metal detector, as Ted Kennedy does a breathalyzer.

The Bob and Allah Show

Well, Ole Bob Williams is at it again. But this time I agree with about 30% of what he says. First, you can't begin to compare today's soldier with those in WWII. In the 40's all you had to do was about 300 pushups, obey orders, shoot straight and you were headed for action. Today, you need to do all those plus carry twice the backpack, train for all the technology and wear about 90lbs in body armor.

Now I know that Ole Bob doesn't think we should be in Iraq. If he had his way, Saddam would still be in control, bribing the U.N., violating sanctions and treating UN resolutions as if they were a promise to stop smoking right after New Years Eve, slaughtering his countrymen, plotting the invasion of his neighbors and moving his weapons programs around like a street huckster playing "Three Card Monte".

On the other hand, Saddam knew what we are now just learning. A brutal dictatorship is the only way to keep these countrymen from killing each other. Seems that Sunnis and Shiites alike wake up each morning dreaming of ways to eliminate the Jews. But first, like the Hatfields and McCoys, they must kill each other for this privilege. We must never forget (and some must finally realize) that many of these mutton breath, desert dwelling, Allah lovin' camel jockeys see killing Infidels as a path to heaven. And yes, brothers and sisters, we are the Infidels. This is one fact we, and ole Bob, cannot escape and is the driving force among an enemy that lives to see us dead.

This War is like none we have ever encountered. Nailing down this enemy is like screwing Jello to the wall. They have no uniforms, no Capitol, no borders, no scruples. They enjoy hiding among their peace loving Muslim counterparts, with little fear of retribution, objection, rejection or expulsion. Their stock in trade is to randomly detonate high explosives, without rhyme or reason, killing as many innocent bystanders as possible. Their stated goal is to kill all Infidels--that being everyone except Allah fearing, gun totting, terrorists--which explains why so many of their fellow Muslims are now pushing up daisies. Graveyards are filled with those that made the mistake of living in harmony with those of the Western culture.

You see folks, ole Bob and his fellow appeasers haven't yet figured out that we are in a War for the rest of our lives, his and ours. Right now it is easy to criticize those that have figured this out. But when Mohammed comes knocking at Ole Bob's door, he will suddenly realize that appeasing will NOT keep his head attached to his shoulders. And in his final seconds of life, Ole Bob will come to realize why Harry Truman spent his last years wrestling with a decision that saved America's future.

What Can Brown Do For You?

What can Brown do for you?
UPS has paid ’through the nose’ for some ad agency to tell us what many of us already know. Brown knows things. Fortunately ‘Brown’ happens to be a very common name, which is attached to some very uncommon people, of which one is a friend of mine.

There are many things this particular Brown can do for you. One is to point out when you have completely screwed up. This will most likely come with the octaves of a fog horn, to a crowd of your peers. It is not so much an effort to humiliate you but an attempt to change your behavior. Well ok, it is an attempt to humiliate you. Dummy.

Brown will be among the first to announce the shortcomings of our elected, appointed and salaried public officials. The level of inefficiency, incompetence and insensitivity by these individuals is routine fodder for his grist. Just one boneheaded stunt by any of these public servants will unleash a tirade of honorable mention.

Woe be the lowly tax official, who attempts to exert authority they do not have, when speaking to Brown. Best they deal with Brown’s tax man, rather than face the wrath of Brown, who has little patience with half-baked bureaucrats with a power complex.

Brown will point out that your Indonesian, Indian, or Chinese customer service representatives cannot be understood on the phone. You may consider this a good thing, since no one else can understand them either.

If you produce movies or television programs, which have political, racial or homosexual themed plots, you might face ‘the Brown effect‘, which will be a high pitched tirade, most likely in public, that will hopefully remind you and your viewers that movies are for entertainment, not pushing an agenda.

I have known Brown for almost 20 years and aside from his refreshing and outspoken judgments of social blunders, he is the last person you want pointing out your shortcomings and the first person you can count on, when the chips are down.

Portly Politics

So, the administration is in favor of the transfer of some strategic port operations to a company from the United Arab Emirates, a decidedly Muslim country, surrounded by Muslim countries. Our administration claims the sale and operation has been thoroughly vetted by U.S.
authorities and this transaction and transfer poses NO threat to U.S.
security.

Well, all righty then. Who were the brain surgeons that vetted the sale of salvage metals to Japan in the late ‘30s, hatched and then bungled the Bay of Pigs invasion in ‘61, propped up and support the Shah of Iran in the ‘60‘s and ‘70‘s, supplied advanced weapons to Saddam Hussein, in the ‘80’s and a host of other collectively stupid ideas in between?

Like the road to hell, history’s roadmap is littered with the good intentions of previous U.S. authorities. If and until the UAE helps the Western world get a handle on the War on Terror, you can put all the lipstick you want on this pig, but it ain’t gonna fly.

The Clinton of Airstream

What the Hell is all this about? William Jefferson Clinton, impeached past President of the United States, paramour of Monica Lewinski, principle in Whitewater, Party perjurer, predator of Paula Jones, rapist of Juanita Broaddrick, is now an un-registered agent for an Emir in Dubai. He has received over $600k for speaking engagements and millions more in compensation and donations from the UAE without registering as an agent for a foreign country.

And what donations did he receive? Over a million dollars for the Clinton Library. Has anyone seen this abortion. It looks like an homage to trailer parks. Better yet, an appropriate symbol of the phallus of all trailers, the Airstream, the perfect metaphor for temporary relationships. I haven?t seen so much aluminum since the aircraft graveyard in the Mojave Desert.

Having dodged the criminal and political bullets of past indiscretions, he is now plowing new turf in an ambitious effort to amass tens of millions in personal wealth, no matter the fallout for his beloved wife?s political future.

But you can rest easy folks, Bill, with all his efforts, will never accumulate money anywhere near what Michael Jackson has thrown away in the past two years, what Bill Gates makes in a week or the ?Google Boys? lost in a day.

Katrina. Who is to blame?

Of course Katrina was Bush?s fault. According to the Media, every pending disaster, disaster and post-disaster is also Bushes fault. It?s as if all disaster information is first funneled into the White House, or Homeland Security, or FEMA to be released, at an undisclosed location, at a later date.

Folks, the run-up to Katrina was not classified information. It was available 24 hrs a day on Cable News, hourly on local television and every 15 minutes on hundreds of radio stations throughout the U.S.. The only thing more broadcast was Geico, Ditech and John Basedow--Fitness Made Simple ads.

Katrina, which hit on August 29th, was introduced as a catastrophic hurricane, possibly headed for the Louisiana and Mississippi coasts as early as August 26th. This was not a government secret. It was being tracked by the National Hurricane Center, with reports every 3 hours. See?http://www.nhc.noaa.gov/archive/2005/KATRINA.shtml

Now here is where we need to stop and take an inventory of personal responsibility. With all the available news services telling us a major hurricane was breathing down our necks, more people remained behind than would show up at a Grateful Dead concert offering free beer. In this case it was probably the same people.

If I lived next door to one of the category 3 levies being threatened with a Cat 4 or 5 hurricane, I would have lugged my sorry butt out of New Orleans, until Katrina blew over. But despite the warnings, many thousands decided to wait until Mayor Nagin, Governor Blanco or President Bush knocked on their doors and begged them to leave.

Need I remind you that Bush and Company were busy with a global War on Terror, an oil industry extorting shameless prices for energy, a foreign economic invasion, entitlement and pension obligations--that are bankrupting Americas biggest corporations and governing bodies--and a Liberal media bent on hounding this President from office. And while Katrina made her way toward shore, Democratic leaders opposed anything by, for and from Bush.

While the Left were wetting themselves with the possibility of blaming Katrina on this administration--due to global warming--tens of thousands remained in Katrina?s path for a whole host of reasons, not the least of which was that Big Government would bail them, if not chopper them out.

With Katrina 24 hours out-- at Category 4-- the wheels were coming off the evacuation train. Stupidity was epidemic as those that wouldn?t leave were melded with those that couldn?t leave. The indigent, who ignored the wall to wall warnings, refused to leave and magically morphed into victims entitled to rescue and support as wards of the State and Federal Governments.

While responsible evacuees ended up on floors, benches and basements in surrounding communities and States, the slackers ended up in high priced hotels and cruise ships at taxpayers expense. And after their 20 weeks of fame, thousands of these ungrateful ne?re-do-wells are leaving their luxurious accommodations in a shambles, a thoughtless thank-you to the rest of us.If Katrina has taught us nothing else, the aftermath will carry a price tag to be paid for by generations to come. Reality has collided with the Bureaucracy and environmental Whackos. Tens of thousands of relief trailers sit idle in Arkansas, because they cannot be set up in a flood zone. Refuse remains in the streets of New Orleans, as it is determined toxic and no regional landfill is deemed acceptable to receive it, nor is it allowed to be burned.

Add to this, Mayor Nagin, who has sucked all the disaster broadcast time from hundreds of surrounding communities. He has anointed New Orleans as ground zero for the relief effort. The City?s future depends on the reconstruction of levees that were supposed to have been rebuilt years ago. But those funds were redirected after ecologists protested and blocked storm surge construction. http://www.martinfrost.ws/htmlfiles/neworleans2.html

The pending reconstruction will face hurdles from Eco-Nazis and bureaucrats unparalleled in our times. Mark my word, the level of graft, mismanagement, corruption and fraud, connected with Katrina?s reconstruction, will one day soon make Halliburton blush.

Mulsim Makovers

So, what?s all the excitement over the Muslims taking over the operations of our ports? The Japanese invaded our auto industry over 30 years ago and it was such a success that Korea has joined them and they are now dominate forces in the industry. In fact, American manufacturing has been shipped offshore so much in the past 20 years, that if it stopped, the U.S. would shut down. Thanks to extortion and violence by American unions, China, Pakistan, Indonesia, Korea, India and Japan have inherited the supplying of goods for middle and low income America. Where was the outrage by Congress?

When the Tree Huggers decimated the timber industry with loony demonstrations to stop timber harvesting in the U.S., Big Timber took a page from Big Oil and consolidated their businesses. Now a handful of timber giants control the majority of private timber holdings and thrive on Eco-Nazi?s successes in tying up harvest of public lands. U.S. timber barons have also been successful in securing import duties on Canadian lumber, claiming Canadian lumber subsidies. Of course this has proven to be poppycock, but the tariffs remain. Where is the outrage by Congress?

Big U.S. oil companies, who control many proven fields, leave producing wells capped, manipulating the market, while they continue to acquire more leases in efforts to monopolize potential crude reserves. Of course this is not a conspiracy, it?s just good Oil business. But where?s the outrage by Congress?

Not satisfied with the foreign takeover of blue collar jobs, American corporations now outsource middle management, customer service and technical assistance positions overseas to lower costs. Where?s the outrage by Congress?

Japan sends hundreds of billions in products to our shores, but blocks our products to theirs in a hairball of red tape. Where is the outrage by Congress?

Well, I?ll tell you where it is. The outrage is always suspended until the offense is at the doorstep of the offended. And in the case of politicians, it remains suspended until their political donors, special interest groups, golf buddies or an angry mob of the truly offended, vociferously protests the offense.

Granted, the Whitehouse had a tin ear when it came to the Dubai takeover of U.S. ports.But Congress was tone deaf until the notion of a Muslim nation taking over strategic locations on U.S. soil hit the politically sensitive and were about as welcome as Cindy Sheehan at a Crawford, Texas BBQ.

Addicted to Oil?

President Bush claimed in his State of the Union that, " America is addicted to Oil". However, there is $.54 cents, or more, in Federal, State and Local taxes for a gallon of gas, but only about $.05 cents in net profit for Big Oil.

I would suggest Mr. President that State and Federal governments are far more addicted to Taxes.

History's Dirty Little Secrets

Reminders to the anti-War protestors:

a. FDR led us into World War II, with Japan’s attack on Pearl Harbor.

b. Germany never attacked us, but we joined allies against them under this Democratic President. From 1941-1945, 450,000 lives were lost in WWII, an average of 112,500 per year.

c. Truman (a Democrat) finished WWII with the atom bomb and started another War in North Korea, even though they never attacked us. From 1950-1953, 55,000 lives were lost, an average of 18,334 per year.

d Vietnam never attacked us. but another Democrat, John F. Kennedy, engaged the U.S. in the Vietnam conflict in 1962.

e. President Johnson, a Democrat, turned Vietnam into a quagmire, which was handed over to Nixon. From 1965-1975, 58,000 lives were lost ..
an average of 5,800 per year.

f. Bosnia never attacked us, but President Clinton, a Democrat, went to war in Bosnia without UN or French consent, ironically to save the Muslims from the Serbs. Over 105,000 lives were lost. Later, Osama, who had attacked U.S. interests on multiple occasions was offered to Clinton, on a platter, three times by Sudan and did nothing.

g. In the years since terrorists attacked us , President Bush has liberated two countries, crushed the Taliban, crippled al-Qaeda, put nuclear inspectors in Libya, Iran, and, North Korea without firing a shot, and captured a tyrant, who slaughtered 300,000 of his own people.

In Iraq there were 39 combat related killings in January. In Detroit there were 35 murders in the month of January.

The Democrats are complaining about how long the war is taking. But It took less time to take Iraq than it took Janet Reno to take the Branch Davidian compound. That was a 51-day operation..

We've been looking for evidence for chemical weapons in Iraq for less time than it took Hillary Clinton to find the Rose Law Firm billing records, which were in her living room.

It took less time for the 3rd Infantry Division and the Marines to destroy the Medina Republican Guard than it took Ted Kennedy to call the police after his Oldsmobile sank at Chappaquiddick.

It took less time to take Iraq than it took to count the votes in Florida!!!!

The biased media hopes we are too ignorant to realize the facts

But Wait . There's more!

JOHN GLENN (ON THE SENATE FLOOR)
Mon, 26 Jan 2004 11:13

Some people still don't understand why military personnel do what they do for a living. This exchange between Senators John Glenn and Senator Howard Metzenbaum is worth reading. Not only is it a pretty impressive impromptu speec! h, but it's also a good example of one man's explanation of why men and women in the armed services do what they do for a living.

This IS a typical, though sad, example of what some who have never served think of the military.

Senator Metzenbaum (speaking to Senator Glenn):
"How can you run for Senate
when you've never held a real job?"

Senator Glenn (D-Ohio):
"I served 23 years in the United States Marine Corps.
I served through two wars. I flew 149 missions.
My plane was hit by anti-aircraft fire on 12 different occasions. I was in the space program. It wasn't my checkbook, Howard; it was my life on the line. It was not a nine-to-five job, where I took time off to take the daily cash receipts to the bank."

"I ask you to go with me ... as I went the other day...
to a veteran's hospital and look at those men ..
with their mangled bodies . in the eye, and tell THEM they didn't hold a job!

You go with me to the Space Program at NASA and go, as I have gone, to the widows and Orphans of Ed White, Gus Grissom and Roger Chaffee...
and you look those kids in the eye and tell them that their DADS didn't hold a job.

You go with me on Memorial Day and you stand in Arlington National Cemetery, where I have more friends buried than I'd like to remember, and you watch those waving flags.

You stand there, and you think about this nation, and you tell ME that those people didn't have a job?

What about you?"

For those who don't remember ..
During W.W.II, Howard Metzenbaum was an attorney representing the Communist Party in the USA.
Now he's a Senator!

Where are the WMDs and Osama Bin Ladin

Not a minute goes by that somewhere in cyber land a Bush-hating Liberal is typing "Where are the WMD’s?" or "Where’s Osama?" on his mommy’s computer and posting it on the Net. This practice is no longer the exception, it is the rule among anti-War liberals. It has become so bad that, ‘Where are the WMDs’ has become the Holy Grail mantra for the ‘Deaniac’ Liberals with visions of impeachment, dancing in their empty little heads.

Well, it’s time to review.

It’s true, in the past 3 years, Bush has failed to locate WMD’s, some smaller than a Volkswagen, in a country the size of California. He also has not captured Osama, who is believed hiding somewhere within thousands of square miles of hostile terrain, inhabited by mutton breath, cave dwelling, fundamentalists prepared to kill over a cartoon.

But, in five years the FBI couldn’t find Eric Robert Rudolph --the abortion clinic bomber-- who was never more than 50 miles from where he was captured.

Hillary couldn’t find the Rose Law firm billing records for 5 years and they were in her house.

It took investigators 3 inspections of Vince Foster’s briefcase, over several days, to find the torn pieces of his fingerprint free suicide note.

It took over 2 years, a Federal Grand Jury, and Presidential Impeachment proceedings for Clinton to admit he had inappropriate sexual contact with Monica Lewinsky.

And in 37 years, Ted Kennedy has never come clean with what happened in Chappaquiddick.

State of the Union

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Above the Law

We have heard a lot lately about " no one being above the law". Of course this verbal hogwash is being spewed by posturing politicians, pundits and political mouthpieces for digestion by a very skeptical electorate. Skeptical because there are few among us suffering under any illusion that no one is above the law. Why? Because every day, they witness offenses by corporations, elected leaders, government officials and a whole host of individuals exempt or immune from prosecution and therefore are above the law.

Not a day goes by, in America, that thousands of government vehicles are observed going, not just over, but 10, 15 or 20 mph over the posted limit. The question is why are city, county, state and federal employees in such a big hurry, they are paid the same in or out of their vehicles, unlike someone paid by the mile or by the load.

It is questionable whether the Governator was in violation when he wrecked his 3 wheeler. But there is no excuse for a rogue cyborg, resembling Arnold Schwarzenegger, tooling around Los Angeles on his Harley, without a helmet. I'm not sure if the Calif. Vehicle Code exempts persons, in the act of acting, from wearing a helmet on Calif. Highways, but it certainly sends the wrong message. Message here: Change the message or change the law.

District and U.S. attorneys often withhold exculpatory evidence(an act of obstructing justice) during prosecutions and many are no strangers to illegal activities by undercover agents during investigations. But they are not sued or prosecuted, as they are immune from both prosecution and civil liability, in the performance of their duty. Ditto goes for Judges, who should be impeached and disbarred for allowing prosecutorial transgressions.

And I don't want to pick nits here, but many criminals are routinely excused from prosecutions for crimes up to and including murder, when they agree to testify or produce evidence against other criminals and are either relocated in the "witness protection program" or given very light sentences under plea agreements, often to reoffend .Foreign diplomats, sheikhs and kin of kings are immune from a whole host of criminal offenses and are usually ousted from our country for the more heinous offenses, but few if any are prosecuted.

So, the next time you hear some insufferable gasbag pontificating that "no one is above the law", just remember they can't help themselves. Outside the Beltway, America knows the law enforcement double standard is alive and well, so get over it. Legal equality is a myth and all the ranting otherwise is just a rhetorical deadbolt preventing reality from getting her foot in the

Good Nite Sweet Boomers

So, we are marking the beginning of the end of the Baby Boomers, with the first boomer hitting 60. What we are really marking is the things lost on the generation before us and those that follow. What are these phantom facts of history? Well for one, I know where Mayberry, North Carolina is. It’s where Andy, Barney, Aunt Bea and Opie live. I know that Mary will always love Rob, who is a closet alcoholic, in real life. I know that William Shatner was in the Twilight Zone long before he was on the Enterprise, that Marshal Dillon always loved Miss Kitty, but couldn’t commit and Burt Reynolds couldn’t carry water for Festus, who will never fill Chester’s boots. However none of them ever crossed paths with Dale and Roy or Clayton Moore and Tonto. I know that Tod Styles and Buzz Murdock should have had the worst hair on T.V.

But the mysteries don’t stop there. Ralph will always love Alice and live downstairs from Norton and Trixie and you will never see another police detective being chauffered around in a Rolls. Times may change but Brinkley will never have another Huntley, Dino a Jerry or Gracy a George. Color could not improve Jackie Gleason, Ward Bond or Rod Serling, while live performances of, Lucille Ball, Bob Hope, Jack Benny or Milton Berle will never be improved with film.

Boomers all know that the ‘Beaver’ lives with June, Ward and Wally, who were all tortured by Eddie Haskel, while just down the block was Ozzie, Harriet, Ricky and David and across the street was Steve Douglas and his Three Sons and the Uncles Bill, (Frawley and Demarest). But only Robert Young was the father that knew best, while William Bendix had the life of Riley, which was shunned by Jack Webb and Broderick Crawford, but neither was an ’untouchable’, like Robert Stack. Jay North was a blonde with two legs, while Mr. Ed had four, but both were from this world, unlike our favorite Martian, Ray Walston. Hitchcock could soar with the Birds but we were horrified when Superman couldn’t stop a bullet. Bilko worked his schemes from the commissary to the motor pool, while Buddy Ebsen went from Tin man, who could rust, to a Clampett, with a pool. But nobody could say goodnight like Johnny Carson.

Entitlement Epidemic

Rationalizing the Entitlement Epidemic is a little like avoiding a Category Five Hurricane by booking passage on the Titanic. The Left wails and rants about the money spent to liberate a country from tyranny, while planting the seeds of democracy for an entire region, but nary a peep is heard from them, or anyone else, about the financial Tsunami right here at home. The hundred or so billion per year we are spending in Iraq pales to the money we squander, mismanage and waste right here. For instance, America spends over $340 billion per year on Medicaid and Medicare. The annual price tag for Medi-Cal alone is over
26 billion. Federal Agricultural Aid runs about $100 billion, Food Stamps alone is $27 billion while FEMA trails with a paltry $6 billion.
But with the Gulf Coast hurricanes, disaster relief ballooned to over $100 billion. And America’s dirty little secret Security Supplemental Income (SSI) is our rising star at just under $40 billion last year.
Now I don’t want to go and pick nits here, but many beneficiaries of medical entitlements, have spent a lifetime abusing tobacco, alcohol, drugs and unhealthy diets, while shunning exercise. Combining these costly and unhealthy lifestyles with runaway increases in medical services, and as a result of decades of litigation, puts medical
insurance out of reach for many. But medical entitlements only
scratch the surface. Agricultural entitlements probably comes in a close second. Billions are paid to the wealthy that don’t need it, to special interests that don’t deserve it, to hucksters and shysters that scam it and a bureaucratic behemoth paid to mismanage it. Make no mistake, programs, policies and procedures that were originally enacted to provide a ‘safety net’ or insurance against catastrophic losses to farmers, to families and to children have become an established and
ballooning entitlements. Add to this the US Forest Service, once an
integral ingredient in rural economics, is now a gargantuan drain on the General Fund. Formerly a responsible contributor to the health of the forests and economic growth, they are now little more than billion dollar baby sitters for old growth forests, spotted owls and assorted critters, who will still be here long after we are gone. The USFS would do the taxpayers better if they closed up shop and went home, as their jobs have become little more than entitlements.
We should not forget that natural disasters, both foreign and domestic, are a magnet for abuse, mismanagement, corruption and fraud. FEMA, Homeland Security and the Congressional Cookie Jar are the sparkplug for wanton waste as well, with tens of billions spent each year with little or no oversight. Call me a cynic, but each time a hurricane, earthquake, tsunami, flood or wildfire devastates cities counties or countries, the calls for fraud investigation, blue ribbon commissions, congressional hearings and indictments are not far behind.
I

It’s not just the able bodied sitting around waiting for the dream job, collecting their welfare checks-- while migrants work the fields, it’s not just the temporarily inconvenienced refusing menial but honest work, it’s not even the highly educated beginning on the bottom rung on their way up the ladder, that has bent the system sideways. It is the professional deadbeat that wile away the hours dreaming of ways to ’game’ the system, the ‘conveniently’ ill who live on alcohol, cigarettes and fast food, while lounging away the hours with Maury, Jerry and Oprah. It is the opportunists playing the minority victim card to extort millions from agencies fully prepared to avoid lawsuits over race, sex, sexual orientation and endless Native American issues.
It’s the ‘entitlement televangelists’ that dream up more ways to get between the entitled and the entitlements.
Bad enough that the ‘entitled’ squander valuable time watching cable or satelite T.V., but they are bombarded by a ’cottage industry’ developed to access yet more entitlements. Yes, we can now hire someone to get free money, diabetes testing supplies, drugs and scooters at no cost.
Folks, there is nothing free about your scooters, testing supplies, drugs, lawyers lunches, breakfasts, groceries, medications, hospital stays They all carry a price tag, a huge price tag. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Add to that the public money spent to provide legal defenses to killers, rapists and pedophiles. Hundreds of millions, or more, are paid each year to attorneys, investigators, expert witnesses, and appellate attorneys to defend those not just convicted of heinous crimes, but those who have confessed to them. Bad enough that we provide legal counsel to the presumed innocent, we must now pay for the guilty as well.
Of course, this exercise has been very disconcerting. It is impossible to wrap one’s mind around the kind of money I have illustrated here.
And we haven’t touched the other agencies with their own inefficiencies, mismanagement and waste. The cold reality is that every 4 years we can change the captain, every 2 years we can change some of the crew, but the entitlement system just continues to grow, with no end in sight. So far entitlements appear to be billion dollar drops in a two trillion dollar bucket, being carried by some two bit politicians, many of whom can be bought for a dinner and an evening in a NBA skybox. We, the passengers on this cruise, depend upon this captain and crew. Unfortunately we hit the iceberg many years ago and all the rhetoric about Rowe v Wade, and the Iraq War is about as relevant the temperature of the ship’s swimming pool.

Medicare

Now comes the gnashing, caterwauling, and whining over the modest cutbacks in Medicaid and Medicare. But who is screaming the loudest, hospitals dependant on the medically irresponsible or the 300 lb., Twinkie popping, chain smoking, scooter jockeys on oxygen. The concept of personal responsibility appears lost on all involved parties.
This should be a wake-up call for health care providers and Governments that support them. Request, no demand, that those who seek taxpayer support for medical bills eat healthy, drink only in moderation, exercise regularly and stop smoking and you can cut Medicare, Medicaid and Medical by a third or more. There is no cutback in the aforementioned entitlements. It is a cutback in the ‘rate of increase’
of funding. It is past time to stop the out of control subsidizing of poor personal choices. We should support those that are unfortunate victims of circumstance, not those whose destructive life styles are bankrolled by taxpayers.