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Friday, February 22, 2008

Annie’s Helper 2-22-08

Today’s loose thread is “Need Advice in Arizona”, who is 26, has two kids, never married, has recently moved in with “Chet”, that is recently divorced, who she has been with for two years, that never wants to be married again.

She wants two more children, is concerned about the 20 year age difference, thinks this isn’t fair, believes it will ruin her dream wedding, concerned that she should abandon this relationship to pursue a man her own age that will give it everything.

What is “Need Advice in Arizona” to do?


Dear “Need Advice”:

Did you even read what you wrote? Just when I was beginning to think that Arizona was short a Village Idiot, up you pop.

If you didn’t have two kids, I would have told you to the right thing and punch your ticket. Of course you could always ask “Chet’s” ex-wife. I’m sure she has a comment or two.

On the other hand, I think you should locate your children’s father(s) and give them back. Next, get yourself sterilized so that you can’t pass on any more of your genetic code. Pray that the next generation didn’t inherent any of your lunacy. And finally, move to Texas and hang out in Honky Tonks. It’s a big State with plenty of room for losers.

Sorrowfully Yours, The Dumbplumber

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