Dear John

Dear John,

We feel your pain. Those fickle wordsmiths at the New York Times, the same ones that held you up as the best Republican candidate back in January, just gave you the “body slam” of the campaign. Their “unnamed sources” and “confidential insiders” provided quite a story about your past and way past, just like it really happened. But for some inexplicable reason the editors at the Times just weren’t ready to pull the trigger last December, when your campaign was floundering in third place.

Of course your big comeback in New Hampshire raised the possibility, at the Times, of slaying a far larger dragon much further down the road. Then, low and behold Fred took a walk with Mitt following closely behind, both tired of spinning their wheels under the Media Machine.

Of course Tancredo and Hunter were never in it anyway. So with the Huck-a-billy and Ron Paul as your only competition and a big positive column from the Times as your new best friend, you were well on your way to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. or at least a decent shot. Who could imagine that the Times was just setting you up for the big fall around August. That would be just too implausible.

Word is The New Republic, a bastion of Liberalism but lacking any tactical expertise in manipulating or torpedoing a Presidential contest, planned to do a scathing story on the motivations of the NYT holding a “damning” story about you. But that’s what you get when the Far Left gets wind of anything that smacks of scandal about a Conservative. TNR had an itch worse than Stage 3 crotch crickets, they needed to scratch. So here you are.

I give you a “D” on your news conference about the allegations. You and your lovely wife looked like you were both on Prozac categorically denying both scurrilous and scandalous charges. Better you should have either vehemently denied them or just get on your jet and wave the “V” for victory and go home to Phoenix. Turn out the lights John, your party is over.