Ponzi Scheme Starter Kit

Hi, Dumbplumber here with a sensational new product. The Mini-Maddoff Ponzi Scheme starter kit. Yes folks you too can realize your wildest dreams with this incredible step-by-step plan, designed to make you filthy rich in no time. Your kit comes with easy to follow instructions, on how to start and build your very own Ponzi Scheme.

From the comfort of your own home you can start an empire the envy of all your neighbors. It includes everything needed to lure the wealthy into your web of deceit. You too can build wealth, schmooze with arrogant elitists and buy politicians (although we suggest leasing for tax purposes). Our kit includes all the right buzzwords for cocktail parties, and the “how-to’s” of denying their advances until they beg. And best of all, our confidential list includes the most pliable and corrupt politicians, along with appropriate bribes, gratuities and benefits, guaranteed to keep you pumping the Marks until the cows come home.

Don’t wait. Call now and we will send you your starter kit along with our exclusive list of the best offshore banks, for hiding your money. But wait, there’s more. Today only, we will send you the bonus list of the 250 UBS clients that were thrown under the bus, when UBS accepted the TARP bailout funds. Hey, every cloud has a silver lining.

And if you call in the next 15 minutes, because we can’t do this all day, we will even send you the additional list of 52,000 confidential American clients UBS has on the books. Hey, they have to put their money someplace, Right? This is a once in a lifetime offer, that you will be seeing over and over, until they either pull us off the air or we are indicted. This offer won’t last long. So, call now for your Mini-Maddoff Starter Kit.

We accept VISA, Master Card, Diners Club and American Express. Orders rushed to your door UPS or Fed Ex. Don’t delay, Call now. Sorry no C.O.D.’s

Batteries not included. Some assembly required. Not sold in Chicago or Washington D.C. (they don’t like competition).

Dumbplumber Enterprises LLC