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Tuesday, February 10, 2009

What I learned today 2-10-09

I’m Paying for My Grandparent’s Spending

I Keep hearing that Congress is about to spend my grandchildren’s money. Well, that’s only part right. First, I don’t think I will have any grandchildren. That’s if all my girlfriend’s weren’t lying to me. Second, I’m still paying for WWII, since we have never paid off the debt from Roosevelt, after the Japs thought taking on the U.S. was a good idea. So maybe bringing anyone’s grandchildren into this equation isn’t probably the best analogy.

Casey Anthony submits Statement

Casey Anthony’s attorney released a statement today from the Totmom about the pending memorial for the daughter she murdered. Standing next to a busy thoroughfare, with horns honking, he read the message as follows: “Yo doods, i thnk mi ded baby is in hevn wit god. 4 all doz who r worid abt mi needz I h8 2 ask bt dump a buc or 2 in mi kommisary aknt so I cn lk good 4 kort.”

Apparently, grandparents George and Cindy Anthony chose not to bury this family nightmare, but rather had grand daughter Caylee cremated. In honor of mother Casey’s lifestyle prior to Caylee’s death, they are selling dime bags of Caylee to finance Casey‘s defense.

El Presidente moves His Lips

True to form, tonight’s “Do it or die” gas-a-thon to the nation’s Press Corp is not going well. After his brilliantly scripted opening statement, he is now making George Bush look like “Honest Abe” at the Gettysburg Address. Once off-script, poor Barry sounds more like Goober Pyle at the drive-in with Carmen Electra on Spanish Fly. The poor guy looks and sounds a lot like the guy standing in the plugged up septic tank, when he hears a flushing noise. Please, someone throw this guy a life ring, he’s sinking fast

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