Search This Blog

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Frustrated Fredhead

Well, now I am pissed off. Like many other Fredheads, who are still trying to stop the hemorrhaging from Fred’s withdrawal as a candidate, I am being confronted by requests for a second choice by well wishing and comforting friends. Of course the possibility of a “write-in” candidacy is not out of the realm of possibility, about as likely as Rosie O’Donnell getting gastric bypass and a clue.

On the campaign front, I will not support the buck-tooth, bible thumping, guitar picking, squirrel eating goober from Hope, Arkansas, nor the maverick white haired, loose cannon, that has spent most of his Congressional service rolling back and forth across the Senate isle like a bowling ball in a dump truck, when he is not wrapping himself in the American flag or wallowing in sympathy for his protracted stay in a Vietnam.

Neither will I endorse nor vote for the Italian Stallion, whose claim to fame is jailing a huge portion of the American Mafia, only to have the Russian, Mexican, Vietnamese, Jewish and Chinese Mafias come in to take their places. He also boasts turning around the failing finances of New York City, which would not exist to this day without constant infusion of American taxpayer money. And I can’t leave Rudy without a parting shot for his political acumen of having a close personal relationship with his former police commissioner, turned felon and designating a city officer and Crown Victoria as official transportation for his paramour of the month.

And finally, I won’t vote for the former Mass. Governor either. Even though he is probably most qualified to be the CEO of the biggest business on the planet, I find his family’s toothy grins and endless optimism tedious. Being president isn’t about flashy smiles, pats on the back and bolstering the bottom line. It’s about tough decisions, fundamental principles and a consistent message.

No, I will support Hillary Clinton for ‘08. It’s time to send America a message. When this insufferable bitch gets done with her first term we will have universal health care, endless entitlements for the poor folks and an express lane for illegal aliens entering the U.S.. To pay for this she will drive what’s left of manufacturing offshore with endless fees, permits and usurious variances, tax the living crap out of any entrepreneurs left standing here as well as reinstate and raise every tariff, levy and duty ever instated.

Certainly there will be widespread economic devastation. Unemployment will soar, entitlements will expand and those paragons of virtue, the trial lawyers will prosper. In the private sector, there will be wholesale recession, depression then maybe, with any luck, in her 2nd term, starvation. But by God, she will be President.

But there is some good news on the horizon. There will be lots of available housing, since much of America will be sleeping in parks and under bridges. Soup lines, rationing and the CCC will make a big comeback. And speaking of bridges there will be some really nice bridges and highways, because union construction jobs pay really well. But there will be very little traffic, since most of America will be unemployed, but receive relief checks in the mail, not requiring a commute. Movie moguls, rock stars and global warming activists will have their pick from fleets of grounded low priced jets, as the Wall St. crowd won’t need them with a Dow at 1300.

And the best news of all is that at least one sexual predator will be shackled and under lock and key in his basement in Chappaqua.

No, it’s time to teach America a lesson they won’t forget, that is until the next election cycle when she just repeats the ’08 promises to her adoring fans and sycophant Media. Go Hillary

No comments: