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Thursday, January 31, 2008

Annie's Helper 1-31-08

Today’s runaway bride is “Confused in Virginia”, who has been dating “Chad” for 3 years and has been engaged since last April. She says she loves “Chad” but is not ready to marry. She tried to call off the wedding once, but “Chad” talked her out of it.

“Confused” doesn’t want to hurt “Chad’s” feelings, but she isn’t ready to commit. What is “Confused” to do?


Dear “Confused”:

Now I’m confused, but at the same time NOT confused. Just how was it you accepted an engagement ring and set a wedding date, if you weren’t committed in the first place? What, you just wanted the rock and some publicity in your local rag? Guess what, this isn’t junior high any more. Grow up.

You’re not confused, you’re stupid.

Do the right thing and tell “Chad” what a self absorbed, selfish bitch you are and move on. What you are suffering from is CDS--Commitment Delusion Syndrome. What you really want to do is go out and pick some forbidden fruit from some other trees and see how it tastes. You can always do what other airheads do and tell “Chad” you “need some space”, you “want some time to find yourself” or a whole host of other euphemistic bullshit.

Do us all and “Chad” a favor and cut him loose. This is not the end of the world, but a new beginning for both of you. Act like it.

Best regards, The Dumbplumber

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